What about bras?

[regentrude]

1 minute ago, Ting Tang said:

 Unfortunately, with a son who will be 11, I need to be careful when I go braless. 

What bad thing would happen to him when you go braless?

[heartlikealion]

1 minute ago, regentrude said:

What bad thing would happen to him when you go braless?

I'm also self-conscious about going braless when my ds is home. Let's just say as a young girl I didn't like my dad walking around in his underwear. I don't remember what age he stopped this and really I don't think it was ever like the whole day, just in passing. I think it's kind of a mutual thing for kids/parents if they prefer one to be covered up haha. But then again I don't know. I ask my son to wear more than just underwear but he doesn't listen. If my shirt is thick I don't worry so much, but otherwise I like to wear a bra because I just feel kinda naked. 

[Indigo Blue]

1 minute ago, heartlikealion said:

I'm also self-conscious about going braless when my ds is home. Let's just say as a young girl I didn't like my dad walking around in his underwear. I don't remember what age he stopped this and really I don't think it was ever like the whole day, just in passing. I think it's kind of a mutual thing for kids/parents if they prefer one to be covered up haha. But then again I don't know. I ask my son to wear more than just underwear but he doesn't listen. If my shirt is thick I don't worry so much, but otherwise I like to wear a bra because I just feel kinda naked. 

Yeah, I agree. My dad did this with the tighty whiteys. My boys do that, but theirs are more like a pair of shorts than underwear. And they don’t parade around. They just walk from bath to washroom to bedroom to dress. 

[catz]

Not a fan!  This past year, I have fallen in love with a Davy Piper sports bra and ordered a bunch of those.  And then I have some really really lightweight ones I sometimes wear around the house but I could still answer the door in.  I often do go braless around the house.  

I really haven't had to wear a structured bra since covid started and I don't know if I can go back!  

[Paige]

11 hours ago, Lawyer&Mom said:

I wear all-stretch nursing bras even though I haven’t nursed in over five years.  I’ve even bought new ones since I weaned the last kid.  They are just so comfortable.  More comfortable than going without. 

Me too. I had to wear nursing bras 24/7 when nursing unless I wanted wet shirts,. These are so comfortable that I prefer to wear them all the time even after weaning even though they don't do much for my appearance. I used to take bras off at night but now I prefer not to. I have other bras that fit better and look better that I wear when I want to look nicer and I take them off as soon as I get home and switch back to the nursing ones.

My daughters hate bras and I bought them nursing ones to see if that would help but they still don't really like wearing them. 

[AmandaVT]

I hate underwire. I used to love the Bali no underwire ones, and then my friend got me hooked on the True and Co bras. They are supportive, with no underwire, and the fabric is nice. I pull out the inserts - and if anyone decides to order them, they look terrifyingly large when you pull them out of the packaging. I think I shrieked and put it back in the package for a few days the first time I opened one. They're supposed to be hand washed and hung to dry, which I did at first, but now I just throw them in with the regular load, and they've been fine. 

[barnwife]

4 hours ago, Indigo Blue said:

Can you even imagine what level of torture it would be to have to wear a shirt buttoned up around your neck tight as a drum with a tie wrapped around? Every day? And if you had to also wear a suit jacket? 

Yikes. That’s one thing we don’t have to endure, at least. I would be so incredibly uncomfortable. It makes me twitchy just thinking about that. 

I couldn't agree with this more. I hate wearing collared shirts as it is. I once had a part-time job where the uniform included a polo shirt. It was awful for me, sensory-wise. However, the job was great, so I dealt with it.

1 hour ago, Indigo Blue said:

Another reason I need to wear a bra is because I have small b0Oks. I need to look like I have some semblance of shape there. When people hug me, I worry they can feel the the cup crushing in because there’s nothing to fill it up. I can’t believe I’m saying this here, but it’s true. 

I am on the opposite end of this. My b00ks are...not small. And for that reason alone, many think I *need* a bra. Well, sorry, folks, I don't. I am much more comfortable without. This is a change from pre-kids. Then my b00ks were non-existant. And I wore a bra all day, every day until bed. I rarely wear one at home. Yes, I have 4 sons (and a daughter) and I still don't. I don't want them thinking they have any say in what undergarments someone else wears. I mean, I wear a shirt, and me being who I am, don't generally like thin shirts. So, for me, that's covered up enough. And if anyone else is bothered by my lack of bra, that's their problem.

When I do wear one, it's a soft, stretchy pull-over type. Absolutely never any underwire. 

 

[rebcoola]

4 hours ago, Katy said:

I always thought I’d have a reduction when I’m sure I’m done having kids. Now I’m curious what the weight restriction is? Is it pounds or BMI based?

BMI insurance won't pay if you're "obese"

[Indigo Blue]

9 minutes ago, barnwife said:

I couldn't agree with this more. I hate wearing collared shirts as it is. I once had a part-time job where the uniform included a polo shirt. It was awful for me, sensory-wise. However, the job was great, so I dealt with it.

I am on the opposite end of this. My b00ks are...not small. And for that reason alone, many think I *need* a bra. Well, sorry, folks, I don't. I am much more comfortable without. This is a change from pre-kids. Then my b00ks were non-existant. And I wore a bra all day, every day until bed. I rarely wear one at home. Yes, I have 4 sons (and a daughter) and I still don't. I don't want them thinking they have any say in what undergarments someone else wears. I mean, I wear a shirt, and me being who I am, don't generally like thin shirts. So, for me, that's covered up enough. And if anyone else is bothered by my lack of bra, that's their problem.

When I do wear one, it's a soft, stretchy pull-over type. Absolutely never any underwire. 

 

I totally get that.  I just feel better (less self conscious) with a bra in certain situations. 

[heartlikealion]

The cup to underb00k strap never seem to be the right ratio. I have strap extenders on a couple of my bras because going up in size would just give me huge cups I can't fill. I wear sports bras when I go outside to exercise, but I can only tolerate them for a few hours before they are making my whole back feel tight and tense and I want to rip it off. 

[Farrar]

Bras. Ugh. I wish I could find one I love. I didn't wear them at all in my youth because I thought they were pretty dumb. But I don't feel comfortable going out without them now. I feel like my shape is weird without them. Like, I'm not that into the pointy nips through a tee look basically.

But around the house, I have zero bleeps to give. No problem being braless in front of the teen boys. Or, honestly, in front of their teen boy friends after a sleepover or something. And I'll be in front of my kids in just my bra. Like, not like that happens often, but sometimes there are circumstances and I don't think it matters.

[Ting Tang]

2 hours ago, regentrude said:

What bad thing would happen to him when you go braless?

LOL  I don't want to traumatize the poor kid. LOL  But I do prefer to be somewhat modest, since I do have a rather large cup size.  I usually wear a robe or sweatshirt.  But if I am wearing something I feel conceals me enough, then I might go without....  

[hippymamato3]

15 hours ago, Baseballandhockey said:

I wear mine all day I don't really think about it.

And then the second I get home I need it off NOW!!!!!

It does not make sense.  It's like I am allergic to wearing bras in the house. 

Today I wore a non stretchy shirt, which means I couldn't take it off with my male kid around (well I could but I got those issues too) and I had to keep wearing it all the way from the front door to the bathroom.

It was torture.

 

What kind of issues make it so you can't have your bra off around your kid? Would he even notice? 

[Drama Llama]

10 minutes ago, hippymamato3 said:

What kind of issues make it so you can't have your bra off around your kid? Would he even notice? 

If I am wearing an bra under something knit or stretchy, like a T shirt, I will take it off in front of them, in the living room with big windows that the neighbors can see him. 

But I have this one shirt that does not stretch, so it requires taking the shirt off, and then the bra off.  For that, I go into a room with a door.  

I don't know that my teenage boy would mind me taking it off in front of him but he would definitely be embarrassed if his neighborhood friends saw me do it.  And he would definitely notice.  

To be clear, this is about taking off the bra, not going braless.  My kids see me braless all the time.  They don't see me topless, unless they accidentally walk in while I'm changing or something.  

Edited July 16, 2022 by Baseballandhockey

[Terabith]

1 hour ago, rebcoola said:

BMI insurance won't pay if you're "obese"

I'm so sorry.  Mine paid while I was obese, but I know different insurances cover different things.  

[rebcoola]

Just now, Terabith said:

I'm so sorry.  Mine paid while I was obese, but I know different insurances cover different things.  

Oh wow mine is very clear about what circumstances they will pay.  From groups I am I thought that was pretty much the norm.  

[Wheres Toto]

It never actually occurred to me to worry about wearing a bra around my teenage son.   I was working outside earlier today and it's super hot.  I came home, took a shower and I'm sitting here in pj pants and a tank top, no bra.   His younger, also a teenager, sister runs around in underwear and a tank top 99% of the time.  He will walk around in boxer briefs and a tshirt occasionally.    Everything is covered.   🤷‍♀️

[barnwife]

56 minutes ago, Ting Tang said:

LOL  I don't want to traumatize the poor kid. LOL  But I do prefer to be somewhat modest, since I do have a rather large cup size.  I usually wear a robe or sweatshirt.  But if I am wearing something I feel conceals me enough, then I might go without....  

I, a mother of 4 boys and 1 girl, still do not understand. What's traumatizing about someone not wearing a bra? Why is that any business of anyone's other than the person wearing/not wearing a bra? Is it that they might notice you have nipples? That b00ks aren't always perky? What does a bra have to do with modesty?

Yes, those are genuine questions. I would say (and I think others would agree) that I am a modest person. But...I am very "undergarments are the choice of the person wearing/not wearing them." I don't think they have anything to do with modesty. 

I mean, if I am wearing a see-thru shirt, I'd wear a bra. That's theoretical though, because I wouldn't wear a see-thru shirt. 

I sincerely hope I am passing on to my kids that other people's undergarments are not their business. 

[elegantlion]

I wear one everyday. I can't say I love them. I wish I was smaller, so I could feel more comfortable going without. I have a couple of Tshirt bras that are comfortable enough. I did give up on underwire bras though. I've never slept in a bra. 

[Drama Llama]

2 minutes ago, Wheres Toto said:

It never actually occurred to me to worry about wearing a bra around my teenage son.   I was working outside earlier today and it's super hot.  I came home, took a shower and I'm sitting here in pj pants and a tank top, no bra.   His younger, also a teenager, sister runs around in underwear and a tank top 99% of the time.  He will walk around in boxer briefs and a tshirt occasionally.    Everything is covered.   🤷‍♀️

I know other people have posted differently, but I'm talking about the act of taking off the bra, not of being braless.  I will go to the bathroom if I need to remove my shirt to get the bra off.  But once the shirt is back on, then I'm happy to hang out with my teens.  

[gstharr]

3 hours ago, regentrude said:

What bad thing would happen to him when you go braless?

Well, god forbid that he gets poked in the eye.

[heartlikealion]

32 minutes ago, barnwife said:

I, a mother of 4 boys and 1 girl, still do not understand. What's traumatizing about someone not wearing a bra? Why is that any business of anyone's other than the person wearing/not wearing a bra? Is it that they might notice you have nipples? That b00ks aren't always perky? What does a bra have to do with modesty?

Yes, those are genuine questions. I would say (and I think others would agree) that I am a modest person. But...I am very "undergarments are the choice of the person wearing/not wearing them." I don't think they have anything to do with modesty. 

I mean, if I am wearing a see-thru shirt, I'd wear a bra. That's theoretical though, because I wouldn't wear a see-thru shirt. 

I sincerely hope I am passing on to my kids that other people's undergarments are not their business. 

I don’t even want to see other women’s n!pples. It’s just TMI kinda. I remember in a homeschool group I kept my mouth shut but I did not like that a busty mom, whom I considered a friend at the time, came to a couple beach attire events without a bra or padded cups or anything under her rash guard. Her n!pples were visible. I personally wear a padded sports bra under my rash guard but others might wear a bathing suit top. Just something seemed warranted. However, as this was not the highly conservative Christian group, we had nothing in writing for attire. And the other group I think went too far extreme in the opposite direction lol 

I also don’t want to see a c@mel toe or have that visual showcased for all the kids. I’m not even sure this is a male vs female thing. It’s just distracting in a way that seems off putting to not just me but probably others. 

[Indigo Blue]

I don’t know if it makes a difference that my boys are adult men, but I definitely feel like I should have on a decently modest top and bra around them. I don’t judge what other families do. That’s just how I feel I should do and want to do. I don’t thing there’s really anything weird or wrong about that. It’s not like I have anything to really see, but still…..lol. 

[heartlikealion]

49 minutes ago, Wheres Toto said:

It never actually occurred to me to worry about wearing a bra around my teenage son.   I was working outside earlier today and it's super hot.  I came home, took a shower and I'm sitting here in pj pants and a tank top, no bra.   His younger, also a teenager, sister runs around in underwear and a tank top 99% of the time.  He will walk around in boxer briefs and a tshirt occasionally.    Everything is covered.   🤷‍♀️

I think that would make me uncomfortable as the sibling and therefore as the parent. But maybe I’m picturing more revealing clothes. Like skimpy sorta thin p@nties vs thicker boy shorts. maybe her n!pples aren’t showing. I think of boxer briefs as more revealing than I’d like for hanging out in the house and I get onto ds about his boxers because he doesn’t sit conservatively sometimes and I’ve been flashed. I straight up told him but this doesn’t embarrass him?? 

[Pam in CT]

For literally decades I used to be fine with them -- I mean, I guess I was kinda-sorta picky about which ones I'd wear, but once I had one that fit I never used to chafe at wearing it.  (Never needed an underwire/massive support; and never wore one to sleep, so always had downtime.)

BUT. In my advanced menopausal age, I now get HEAT RASHES between the books and all around the elastic.  Doesn't matter what kind. Cotton is marginally better than anything-other-than-cotton, but even the cotton ones have elastic. So now, no matter WHAT bra I get, I have a chronic rash between the books that never heals; I'm itchy and twitchy by the end of the day and, increasingly, resent every minute I'm wearing one.

 

[MercyA]

5 hours ago, heartlikealion said:

One woman said my size was "Nearly A." I was like oh great, like finding an A cup in the adult section isn't hard enough... now I gotta hunt down "Nearly A"? It's got to be a joke right... "NA" LOL 

There used to be a line of Playtex bras for smaller-breasted women called "Thank Goodness It Fits." They were labeled NA (Nearly A), A, NB (Nearly B), etc. They were a godsend for me in high school and college. So, not a joke! 

Now I wear the Hanes "Comfort Flex" bras, which are made to fit a range of cup sizes. They come in S, M, L, etc. They are very comfortable (after they've been washed a couple times; I'm picky). They have no underwire and some padding, which I appreciate, as my top is not in proportion to my bottom. These are the ones I buy, but there are other styles, too. They are very cheap at $15 each.

[MercyA]

I feel better in a bra. I am small-busted and I like the additional shape they give me.Also, I'm not comfortable with anyone seeing my #ipples through my clothing except my immediate family, and since I wear mostly t-shirts and knit clothing I need a bra to cover them. I don't think that makes me puritanical. I put mine on when I get dressed and take it off when I am relaxing in the evening. 

I do refuse to wear uncomfortable bras! No underwire or scratchy lace for me ever. 

My mom never wears one unless she absolutely has to. It's a sensory thing for her. I admit it makes me a little uncomfortable and it probably shouldn't. Like a PP said, it seems like TMI. 

My DD will only go braless around the house if she is wearing graphic tees rather than plain tees. This is something that she decided on her own. It's funny, because I used to be ultra-modest and have grown less so over the years and now I think she is too modest sometimes (i.e. worries about it too much). She knows it is largely a cultural thing. 

Everyone should do what makes them most comfortable in this area, I think. 

Edited July 17, 2022 by MercyA

[Wheres Toto]

2 hours ago, Baseballandhockey said:

I know other people have posted differently, but I'm talking about the act of taking off the bra, not of being braless.  I will go to the bathroom if I need to remove my shirt to get the bra off.  But once the shirt is back on, then I'm happy to hang out with my teens.  

That makes sense.  That wouldn't have occurred to me.  I can remove my bra without removing my shirt (with one hand while driving a manual transmission even 🤣😆).

[Drama Llama]

1 minute ago, Wheres Toto said:

That makes sense.  That wouldn't have occurred to me.  I can remove my bra without removing my shirt (with one hand while driving a manual transmission even 🤣😆).

So can I, except the one shirt I was whining about.  

[ktgrok]

I got one of these for yoga. Now, I have half a dozen and they are all I wear. I can't stand regular bras anymore. https://amzn.to/3yJRhIE

These don't hurt my shoulders, don't constrain my ribs, don't rub, etc etc. Do they look as cute as a nice underwire bra? Nope. But I found out I don't care anymore, lol. I'm not going to be less than comfortable so my boobs can pretend they are younger than the rest of me. 

[Melissa Louise]

I don't even find underwire uncomfortable. Idk. Maybe I just wear really good bras? 

I think, sitting here in a sleep bra and paying attn to what I like about it, and I think it's the feeling of slight pressure? holding? Anyway, some sensory thing, just in the opposite direction. 

[ktgrok]

16 hours ago, Carol in Cal. said:

I hate them.

I started wearing only strapless some years back as the shoulder straps were digging in and really painful on the normal ones.  Now the only time I wear shoulder straps is on a swimming suit or jogging bra, neither of which I wear very often.

But even the strapless ones restrict my breathing a bit, and I would much rather not wear them at all.  Alas, propriety demands them at church and business meetings.  However, I can camouflage not wearing one on Zoom, which is lovely.

Straps digging in and making my shoulders tense was why I switched to the ones I linked https://amzn.to/3yJRhIE

The straps are wide enough it helps a lot. 

[Indigo Blue]

22 minutes ago, ktgrok said:

got one of these for yoga. Now, I have half a dozen and they are all I wear. I can't stand regular bras anymore. https://amzn.to/3yJRhIE

Gosh! Those are marked way down in price right now! 

[ktgrok]

47 minutes ago, Indigo Blue said:

Gosh! Those are marked way down in price right now! 

They are actually always around that price. I've always paid less than $20. 

[Ting Tang]

4 hours ago, barnwife said:

I, a mother of 4 boys and 1 girl, still do not understand. What's traumatizing about someone not wearing a bra? Why is that any business of anyone's other than the person wearing/not wearing a bra? Is it that they might notice you have nipples? That b00ks aren't always perky? What does a bra have to do with modesty?

Yes, those are genuine questions. I would say (and I think others would agree) that I am a modest person. But...I am very "undergarments are the choice of the person wearing/not wearing them." I don't think they have anything to do with modesty. 

I mean, if I am wearing a see-thru shirt, I'd wear a bra. That's theoretical though, because I wouldn't wear a see-thru shirt. 

I sincerely hope I am passing on to my kids that other people's undergarments are not their business. 

Well, I was partially joking, but I have a larger cup size, and the more movement I make, the more movement they make.  My daughter and I will laugh when that happens, but I do feel I need to contain them as my sons get older.  It's okay if people do life differently from me.  I do try not to wear one when I do not have to...

[marbel]

People have varying levels of modesty which doesn't just mean keeping things covered. I too am sure to put on a bra first thing when my son, his friends, or my daughter's boyfriend are around. I'm just more comfortable that way - I'd rather they not see my unthethered br**sts flapping about. Similarly, my husband puts on a t-shirt and pajama pants or sweats if there are female guests in the house overnight/in the morning rather than walk around in a bathrobe.  All the bits are covered but it's still more comfortable for everyone involved. 

 

Edited July 17, 2022 by marbel

[Hilltopmom]

I wear these for work and home. At work I put foam liners in them that came out of a sports bra.

Hanes Women's Comfy Support Wirefree Bra MHG795 https://a.co/d/fHDuJo6
 

I tried the ones Katie likes but they came up too high under my armpit.

[barnwife]

4 hours ago, heartlikealion said:

I don’t even want to see other women’s n!pples. It’s just TMI kinda. I remember in a homeschool group I kept my mouth shut but I did not like that a busty mom, whom I considered a friend at the time, came to a couple beach attire events without a bra or padded cups or anything under her rash guard. Her n!pples were visible. I personally wear a padded sports bra under my rash guard but others might wear a bathing suit top. Just something seemed warranted. However, as this was not the highly conservative Christian group, we had nothing in writing for attire. And the other group I think went too far extreme in the opposite direction lol 

I also don’t want to see a c@mel toe or have that visual showcased for all the kids. I’m not even sure this is a male vs female thing. It’s just distracting in a way that seems off putting to not just me but probably others. 

But everyone has nipples? And you were upset/irritated that someone didn't wear anything under a rash guard? Is that a joke? It would never, ever in a million years occur to me that that is something that's expected. The support (or lack thereof) that it comes with is what you get.
 

8 minutes ago, marbel said:

People have varying levels of modesty which doesn't just mean keeping things covered. I too am sure to put on a bra first thing when my son, his friends, or my daughter's boyfriend are around. I'm just more comfortable that way - I'd rather they not see my unthethered br**sts flapping about. Similarly, my husband puts on a t-shirt and pajama pants or sweats if there are female guests in the house overnight/in the morning rather than walk around in a bathrobe.  All the bits are covered but it's still more comfortable for everyone involved. 

 

Oh, people definitely have different levels of modesty. I just can't fathom why seeing nipples or b00ks flapping about (as you say) is bad, unless uncovered. (And let's get real. Men walk around without shirts. You - general you - can actually see their nipples! Not just the outline! And nobody gets their panties in a twist about that!)

The reality is that b00ks were designed to flap about. That's how it was for a long, long time. A bra is never necessary. Yes, they might make some women more comfortable in a given situation, but they aren't necessary. 

I am guessing the wiring in my brain is faulty about this because I honestly find it very off-putting that people are still teaching youth that it's bad to see the outline of a women's nipples or that someone else being uncomfortable because a women's b00ks are in their natural state (you know, flapping about) is okay.

Blech. 

(I am all for women choosing to wear a bra or not. I just find attitudes like I described above not good.)

[Guest]

18 hours ago, Melissa Louise said:

I like bras, and I also have sleep bras. I am 100% more comfy in a bra than out of a bra. Take one off to shower and that's about it. I know I'm not meant to be pro-bra, but I am. My only bra issue is cost - I can't get a good fitting bra for less than $60. 

Same. I have sleeping bras and day bras, although there is some overlap as I don’t wear any very structured bras.

Small bOOks here. I like the girls “snuggled” most of the time. 

[heartlikealion]

6 minutes ago, barnwife said:

But everyone has nipples? And you were upset/irritated that someone didn't wear anything under a rash guard? Is that a joke? It would never, ever in a million years occur to me that that is something that's expected. The support (or lack thereof) that it comes with is what you get.
 

Oh, people definitely have different levels of modesty. I just can't fathom why seeing nipples or b00ks flapping about (as you say) is bad, unless uncovered. (And let's get real. Men walk around without shirts. You - general you - can actually see their nipples! Not just the outline! And nobody gets their panties in a twist about that!)

The reality is that b00ks were designed to flap about. That's how it was for a long, long time. A bra is never necessary. Yes, they might make some women more comfortable in a given situation, but they aren't necessary. 

I am guessing the wiring in my brain is faulty about this because I honestly find it very off-putting that people are still teaching youth that it's bad to see the outline of a women's nipples or that someone else being uncomfortable because a women's b00ks are in their natural state (you know, flapping about) is okay.

Blech. 

(I am all for women choosing to wear a bra or not. I just find attitudes like I described above not good.)

Thank you for your perspective. I was raised in a very modest house (though I didn’t always dress modestly away from my parents). A lot of that has carried over plus I live in the Bible Belt. To me if it’s something that might be blurred/censored on TV, then I probably am showing too much. N!pples fall in that category for me. 

I always thought rash guards were meant to be worn over a swim top anyway but I’m not part of a swimming culture. To me wearing just a rash guard seems like you didn’t finish dressing and have no mirrors in your house. 

I remember as a teen shopping for bathing suits I wanted the cup inserts for modesty and a little “help” but then I was self conscious of this false advertising like I had big (at least to me) b00ks. 

[Shelydon]

3 hours ago, Ting Tang said:

Well, I was partially joking, but I have a larger cup size, and the more movement I make, the more movement they make.  My daughter and I will laugh when that happens, but I do feel I need to contain them as my sons get older.  It's okay if people do life differently from me.  I do try not to wear one when I do not have to...

I think women that are smaller busted have no idea how awkward it is to be really large chested. I am a 32 J. A DDD is 4 sizes to small. I wear a bra unless I am asleep. 

[YaelAldrich]

I wear a bra from getting dressed until either I get ready for bed. I never sleep in a bra unless I know there is something I know I will have to jump out of bed in the middle of the night for some emergency.  I wear an underwire bra always. My sports bra is also underwire. My b00ks are on the larger side (DD) so I feel the underwire hold them up a bit better. I actually love the look of demi-cup push up bras better than the regular Bali I wear. I feel I look more put together and more slim if there's some space between me and the girls.  I have tried to sleep topless and that feels like they are flopping all over the place but with a t shirt on I'm comfortable.

My DD is my size but obviously perkier. She walks around in house without a bra (shirt on) a lot. I don't care. Her brothers and father don't seem to know. 

 

[Laura Corin]

10 hours ago, ktgrok said:

I got one of these for yoga. Now, I have half a dozen and they are all I wear. I can't stand regular bras anymore. https://amzn.to/3yJRhIE

These don't hurt my shoulders, don't constrain my ribs, don't rub, etc etc. Do they look as cute as a nice underwire bra? Nope. But I found out I don't care anymore, lol. I'm not going to be less than comfortable so my boobs can pretend they are younger than the rest of me. 

Is there enough support for a comfortable brisk walk? I'm on the small side.

[Laura Corin]

6 hours ago, heartlikealion said:

Thank you for your perspective. I was raised in a very modest house (though I didn’t always dress modestly away from my parents). A lot of that has carried over plus I live in the Bible Belt. To me if it’s something that might be blurred/censored on TV, then I probably am showing too much. N!pples fall in that category for me. 

I always thought rash guards were meant to be worn over a swim top anyway but I’m not part of a swimming culture. To me wearing just a rash guard seems like you didn’t finish dressing and have no mirrors in your house. 

I remember as a teen shopping for bathing suits I wanted the cup inserts for modesty and a little “help” but then I was self conscious of this false advertising like I had big (at least to me) b00ks. 

I'm confused. Is the outline of covered nipples blurred/censored on mainstream US TV?

[Wheres Toto]

1 hour ago, Laura Corin said:

I'm confused. Is the outline of covered nipples blurred/censored on mainstream US TV?

Not if seen through a shirt.  If no top at all is worn, yes.  

[heartlikealion]

3 hours ago, Laura Corin said:

I'm confused. Is the outline of covered nipples blurred/censored on mainstream US TV?

 

1 hour ago, Wheres Toto said:

Not if seen through a shirt.  If no top at all is worn, yes.  

I think it’s blurred sometimes like if a shirt is wet as well. And I think if a shirt is very see through. But I can’t draw up an example right now. 

[marbel]

11 hours ago, barnwife said:

Oh, people definitely have different levels of modesty. I just can't fathom why seeing nipples or b00ks flapping about (as you say) is bad, unless uncovered. (And let's get real. Men walk around without shirts. You - general you - can actually see their nipples! Not just the outline! And nobody gets their panties in a twist about that!)

The reality is that b00ks were designed to flap about. That's how it was for a long, long time. A bra is never necessary. Yes, they might make some women more comfortable in a given situation, but they aren't necessary. 

I am guessing the wiring in my brain is faulty about this because I honestly find it very off-putting that people are still teaching youth that it's bad to see the outline of a women's nipples or that someone else being uncomfortable because a women's b00ks are in their natural state (you know, flapping about) is okay.

Blech. 

(I am all for women choosing to wear a bra or not. I just find attitudes like I described above not good.)

I actually do find it unattractive/distasteful to see men shirtless out and about in public (other than the beach). It's not because <gasp> I can see their n***les.  I didn't even mention n***les in my post. My preference for wearing a bra has nothing to do with that. 

Re: the bolded. Why would my kids get the impression that I am uncomfortable? Because I put on typical undergarments on a daily basis? Do you imagine I'm announcing "I'm putting on a bra so you don't see these old girls flapping about?"I mean it's true I am more comfortable, physically and otherwise - so.... am I supposed to give up my own comfort so my young adult kids (and their friends) can see my br**sts in their natural state under my t-shirt? Sorry, my kids have caused plenty of discomfort in my life; allow me to be comfortable in my clothing.  

Edited July 17, 2022 by marbel

[ktgrok]

12 hours ago, Hilltopmom said:

I wear these for work and home. At work I put foam liners in them that came out of a sports bra.

Hanes Women's Comfy Support Wirefree Bra MHG795 https://a.co/d/fHDuJo6
 

I tried the ones Katie likes but they came up too high under my armpit.

ah..I have a short torso, maybe that explains the difference in fit. The ones you linked are pretty, but I think the thin straps would be uncomfortable to me. 

11 hours ago, heartlikealion said:

Thank you for your perspective. I was raised in a very modest house (though I didn’t always dress modestly away from my parents). A lot of that has carried over plus I live in the Bible Belt. To me if it’s something that might be blurred/censored on TV, then I probably am showing too much. N!pples fall in that category for me. 

I always thought rash guards were meant to be worn over a swim top anyway but I’m not part of a swimming culture. To me wearing just a rash guard seems like you didn’t finish dressing and have no mirrors in your house. 

I remember as a teen shopping for bathing suits I wanted the cup inserts for modesty and a little “help” but then I was self conscious of this false advertising like I had big (at least to me) b00ks. 

Nipples through a shirt are not blurred on tv. Watch pretty much any episode of Friends and you will see Jennifer Anniston's nipples, lol. I used to wonder how it could be that cold on set with all the lighting! 

Also, gently, do you see how wrong it is that we women grow up with SO much shame around breasts? Have to wear a bra, but can't show a bra strap, can't show nipple outlines but padding is also lying, etc etc. All for something that isn't even our genitals? It's a LOT, and it's not right. 

5 hours ago, Laura Corin said:

Is there enough support for a comfortable brisk walk? I'm on the small side.

Oh, definitely. I wear them even for light aerobics. Not running, but normal walking or even the walk at home videos,etc they are great for. And yoga, etc. They do come with removable pads as well. 

[MEmama]

17 minutes ago, ktgrok said:

 

Also, gently, do you see how wrong it is that we women grow up with SO much shame around breasts? Have to wear a bra, but can't show a bra strap, can't show nipple outlines but padding is also lying, etc etc. All for something that isn't even our genitals? It's a LOT, and it's not right. 

 

Shame, yes, but also we are *constantly* subject to the male gaze. The leering at us starts young, as we all know, and is unavoidable. I’m not ashamed of my body, but I also don’t want anyone feeling that they are entitled to it—and that includes the gross staring that ALL MEN (I’ll say it) do. I can’t even wear a tank top without a bra in my own house without DH staring and giving *that* look. So yeah, sometimes I just want to cover up because otherwise I just feel angry and disgusted. Why can’t they just let us exist in peace! 🤬
 

 

[heartlikealion]

1 hour ago, ktgrok said:

ah..I have a short torso, maybe that explains the difference in fit. The ones you linked are pretty, but I think the thin straps would be uncomfortable to me. 

Nipples through a shirt are not blurred on tv. Watch pretty much any episode of Friends and you will see Jennifer Anniston's nipples, lol. I used to wonder how it could be that cold on set with all the lighting! 

Also, gently, do you see how wrong it is that we women grow up with SO much shame around breasts? Have to wear a bra, but can't show a bra strap, can't show nipple outlines but padding is also lying, etc etc. All for something that isn't even our genitals? It's a LOT, and it's not right. 

Oh, definitely. I wear them even for light aerobics. Not running, but normal walking or even the walk at home videos,etc they are great for. And yoga, etc. They do come with removable pads as well. 

Through a thin white shirt, yes, I think they are. If you can see the color of them, I think they are. But in Jennifer's case they were probably just showing the shape. And I could be mistaken or it could vary from tv producer to tv producer or network or something like that. 

I guess I lump "breasts" into the category of genitals. You will get varied answers on this if you google it. Technically I guess they aren't, but how people use the term is varied. this one was one of the first google results I got. 

Yes, I think there is a lot of unfair pressure for women and breasts and I'm a supporter of women breastfeeding without a cover. It mean I would want them to be somewhat discreet (like try to make a transition without flashing everyone) but also people shouldn't leer. 

I think it's a combination of things listed in this thread... society (at least in America), upbringing (at least in conservative homes), and the dislike of drawing unwanted attention.