What about bras?

[Terabith]

How do people feel about bras?  For all my sensory issues, I'm really really picky about what bras I buy.  I haven't bought any in like 8 years.  But once I find some that I like, I'm fine with them and I put them on first thing every morning and I don't have a burning need to take them off the second I get home.  But my kids are opposed.  I don't sleep in them, so I have some significant braless time, but in general, I find them way less confining than shoes.  

[Ann.without.an.e]

It’s ok to be picky about shoes and bras and mattresses. I stand by this 😊

[Drama Llama]

I wear mine all day I don't really think about it.

And then the second I get home I need it off NOW!!!!!

It does not make sense.  It's like I am allergic to wearing bras in the house. 

Today I wore a non stretchy shirt, which means I couldn't take it off with my male kid around (well I could but I got those issues too) and I had to keep wearing it all the way from the front door to the bathroom.

It was torture.

 

[Jean in Newcastle]

Some days I am fine. Some days I can’t handle the pressure on my skin. 

[Corraleno]

I never wear a bra at home, and I only wear lightweight, stretchy, sports-type bras when I go out (and I still take it off the minute I get home).

[rebcoola]

I can't stand bras.  I have huge b00ks (42L) and it seems like everyone else finds bras more comfy than free  but bras kill me.  My mom has worked as a I've tried a million different kinds, been professionally fitted more than once.  I hate bras!!!  My main motivation for weight loss is to get down to weight were insurance will pay for my breast reduction.

[Lawyer&Mom]

I wear all-stretch nursing bras even though I haven’t nursed in over five years.  I’ve even bought new ones since I weaned the last kid.  They are just so comfortable.  More comfortable than going without. 

[fraidycat]

I put my bra on shortly after getting up and take it off just before I go to bed. I feel more uncomfortable without than with. That said, when my favorite one is hanging to dry and I have wear one of my other less comfy ones, I am will go without for longer periods in the morning or evening.

[Laura Corin]

I always wear a bra during the day - usually a sports bra with no underwires. I am small breasted but I walk fast and a bra feels comfortable. 

Also, as it's usually cool here, I  find a bra cosy for my 'extremities'.

[Carol in Cal.]

I hate them.

I started wearing only strapless some years back as the shoulder straps were digging in and really painful on the normal ones.  Now the only time I wear shoulder straps is on a swimming suit or jogging bra, neither of which I wear very often.

But even the strapless ones restrict my breathing a bit, and I would much rather not wear them at all.  Alas, propriety demands them at church and business meetings.  However, I can camouflage not wearing one on Zoom, which is lovely.

[Melissa in Australia]

I wear them from as soon as I get dressed to the moment I am goi g to bed. 

I find them mostly comfortable. 

 

I made and have tried some corsets. A 1860 one and a 1910 one. Now that is an  interesting experiance.  Not tightlaced at all. In fact I think it would be impossible to tightlace by yourself. Not so much uncomfortable, but very rigid. You can no longer bend at the waist. And sit very upright.  I actually enjoy the hugging the body feeling, but it is definately something you need to get use to. I haven't worn one for enough days in a row to get use to it yet. 

[Melissa Louise]

I like bras, and I also have sleep bras. I am 100% more comfy in a bra than out of a bra. Take one off to shower and that's about it. I know I'm not meant to be pro-bra, but I am. My only bra issue is cost - I can't get a good fitting bra for less than $60. 

[Melissa Louise]

And I agree re shoes - shoes come off the minute I get home.

[Ausmumof3]

I wear them most of the day time. I hate sleeping in them. I wear a wired tshirt bra. Sometimes when I’m headachey or my neck is out I find shedding them helpful. I do think they are bad for breastfeeding though. 

[Pawz4me]

I'm more comfy wearing one than not, and I even wear one when I sleep. But all of mine are the soft, stretchy kind. Not much support, but very comfy. I don't even think about having them on.

[Carrie12345]

Do not like.

But I appreciate them holding things in place and making things less eye catching in public!  I know a few free the ta-tas people, but they all happen to be much more manageable sizes.  Their belief that we shouldn’t feel socially obligated to constrain ourselves is admirable. But my girls will always be holstered outside of my home, even if just to keep boob sweat from sucking my shirt up and under.

[KidsHappen]

I do not wear bras at home at all. I only wear them if I am going out in public which doesn't happen very often. I do have a few from VS that are pretty comfortable for when I have to wear them. They also manage to gather all of the flesh into two reasonable boob shaped mounds that are located in the right area. I have seen some on pinterest that look more comfortable that I would like to try. Some of my dd only take their bras when they shower;

[MEmama]

I prefer to go without (no need for support) but I acknowledge that summer sweat is a thing and sometimes there’s actually less emphasis if I do wear one, so I guess it varies. I’m wearing this one from Tomboy X a lot, I like the compression it offers. https://tomboyx.com/collections/bras/products/racerback-soft-bra-next-gen-black-rainbow

[Eos]

Bras, shoes, pants - hate 'em all. In my perfect world of no male gaze I'm wearing flowy silk tunics over flowy silk capris.  With a flower crown, of course.

[kiwik]

I wear them when I leave the house.  One of my main reasons for my current weight loss efforts it to get thepoint I am not so uncomfortable whenever I put my bra on.

 

 

 

 

 

[Wheres Toto]

Only wear them when I leave the house if I'm going to work or dressing up for some reason.    Never at home, pretty much not when running out to the store or errands, etc.   I don't even wear one working out (walking and weights, nothing jumpy/bouncy).

I do have some no-wire tshirt bras from Target that are what I do wear most of the time when I'm wearing a bra.  I also recently bought some cropped camisole tops to wear.  I have full size ones for winter months and just decided to try these for summer.  They are pretty thin - just one layer of thin material, less thick than a tshirt, but fit snug enough to hold things in slightly.   I'm fairly small even though I'm fat (something like a 38A) so don't need much support.  

I also never wear shoes in the house.    And basically change into pajama pants as soon as I'm home, even though I mostly wear yoga pants out of the house and they aren't that uncomfortable.

[Indigo Blue]

I like the ones that are made sort of like Bali Comfort Revolution. Those actually feel more comfy on than off. It can’t be too tight around my chest, though, because it will activate trigger points in my back which are very painful. This is also another reason why I can no longer wear constricting pants. 

Edited July 16, 2022 by Indigo Blue

[regentrude]

Hate them and try to avoid wearing one whenever possible. What's it about the societal obsession to hide the fact that humans have nipples?

[Faith-manor]

Bras are an evil perpetuated on women, some sort of medieval torture device. I wear stretchy sports bra things when I have to have one on, and go without at home. I often have on a camisole with shelf bra in the winter under my sweaters. The extra layer is welcome, but no real pressure on my shoulders. I talked with ortho doc one time, and he said bras are very bad for women's backs and shoulders. He would prefer women go without, and for those who are well endowed, breast reduction surgery which better for back health.

[PronghornD]

I almost never wear them. I'm small-breasted and wear patterned, not-too-tight, not-too-see-through shirts. My non-binary kid has followed my footsteps.

 

[Shelydon]

I wear a 32 J, so I feel like I need one all the time. I have a flared rib cage though, and they all hurt. 

[alisoncooks]

Before I had kids, I always went braless at home. After nursing, I got used to always wearing one. 

Most of the time, I wear a cotton cami-type bra. If I want to look nice or have two separate b00ks for an outfit/event, I have a comfy-ish Bali bra I wear. 😉

[livetoread]

33 minutes ago, regentrude said:

Hate them and try to avoid wearing one whenever possible. What's it about the societal obsession to hide the fact that humans have nipples?

Yes, we not only have nipples, our breasts sag as we get older. It's just the way it is, society that insists I wear a bra. Get over it.

I plan my wardrobe so I can avoid wearing them, and when I have to, it's a stretchy one. I'm small breasted but not super small around so finding any that fit comfortably is hard, plus I have reflux and any tight clothing on my torso makes it worse. I would be thrilled if I could never wear one again. As it is, I probably wear one once or twice a week, less in cooler weather.

[J-rap]

I've never really thought about it much.  I always get ones that are comfortable!

[MEmama]

1 hour ago, Eos said:

Bras, shoes, pants - hate 'em all. In my perfect world of no male gaze I'm wearing flowy silk tunics over flowy silk capris.  With a flower crown, of course.

THIS. So.much.this

[marbel]

Much more comfortable with one than without. Also I prefer the way I look when wearing one - I need the support. 

As for society requiring one, I don't know about that anymore, in general. I see a lot of women walking around braless. One of my coworkers, who is over 60 and "well-endowed" as they say, does not wear a bra. (Well, didn't when we were in the office, I haven't actually laid eyes on her in over two years now with working from home.) <shrug> It is/was not a particularly professional atmosphere though and not customer-facing. I could see jobs where it might be a problem, as there are requirements for both men and women in some professions. (I have known lots of men who couldn't wait to get their tie off and their top shirt button undone.) I imagine that's a regional/cultural thing though. 

I always found it interesting that my coworker sometimes complained that she looked so old and frumpy and I had to resist the urge to say that a good bra might help with that. She wasn't asking for advice, just commenting about how she felt so I didn't offer any. 

 

[Garga]

I wear a tshirt bra because I cannot stand the sensation of anything against my pimples (don’t want anyone googling words and coming to this thread), and that includes certain fabrics. 

I have to use readers now and I keep a pair on around my neck with a cord and I can’t stand it if the readers bump into my pimples. 

The bra I use doesn’t have underwire, but is just a bit thicker material around the rib cage. I buy them for something like $5 at Walmart and replace them every few months. 

But my bookshelf is on the small size, so I don’t have any issues with straps digging in or anything like that. For me, the bra is simply a shield against anything touching my pimples. I take it off at night and it’s ok with most of my jammies, except for one pair of jammies that has some sort of picture ironed on to it (or something like that, can’t describe it well), and I can’t stand it if that picture touches the pimples. I ought to just get rid of that pajama top.

I’m the same with shoes—gotta wear them because I can’t stand the sensation of all the bits of dirt, floor, etc touching my feet all day. I like them encased and protected. 

So, I’m opposite other people for sensory issues. My sensory issues make it so I prefer to be encased and it makes me feel protected. But of course, I don’t have any pain issues, like straps digging into my shoulders or ribs. That $5 bra is pretty comfortable and doesn’t really hold up my tiny little bookshelf—it’s just a protective layer.

[Indigo Blue]

8 minutes ago, marbel said:

I have known lots of men who couldn't wait to get their tie off and their top shirt button undone.

Can you even imagine what level of torture it would be to have to wear a shirt buttoned up around your neck tight as a drum with a tie wrapped around? Every day? And if you had to also wear a suit jacket? 

Yikes. That’s one thing we don’t have to endure, at least. I would be so incredibly uncomfortable. It makes me twitchy just thinking about that. 

[Katy]

8 hours ago, rebcoola said:

I can't stand bras.  I have huge b00ks (42L) and it seems like everyone else finds bras more comfy than free  but bras kill me.  My mom has worked as a I've tried a million different kinds, been professionally fitted more than once.  I hate bras!!!  My main motivation for weight loss is to get down to weight were insurance will pay for my breast reduction.

I always thought I’d have a reduction when I’m sure I’m done having kids. Now I’m curious what the weight restriction is? Is it pounds or BMI based?

[mommyoffive]

Hate bras mostly.   I don't sleep in them.  Prefer not to wear them at home.  I wear the no underwire bras most of the time.  But I do need support during the day so I do end up putting them on.

[sweet2ndchance]

I have times when I can't wait to get my bra off and times when I can't stand the feeling of being without a bra. I almost always wear a bra when going out. I used to wear only sports bras, multiple if I needed more support. But I finally found a brand of bra that is wireless but still has enough support for my double d's and straps that don't dig. I absolutely cannot stand underwires! 

[Kalmia]

Like Garga, I have sensory issues that encourage me to wear a bra and shoes pretty much all the time, except when sleeping. Though I can go barefoot outdoors without triggering them (Pebbles, grass, sand, leaves okay. Spilled food, legos, drops of water on the hardwood, and dog hair not okay--and yes, I know I should just sweep multiple times per day, ha!). I generally have barely noticed my bras, except that one brand that wore out at the edge of the underwire and stabbed a hole into my side boob. Not good. However, my 10 year old "new" bras are not accommodating my newfound plumpness, so I will have to go bra shopping again. I have recently been told that my "new" bras actually have a vertical seam on the underside of the cup that can be seen through t-shirts, so I will have to abandon the tried and true. I would like to find a lightly padded, cup style cotton bra that opens in the back or front (no overhead styles). We'll see. It is always expensive to test drive new bras.

[Tree Frog]

2 hours ago, regentrude said:

Hate them and try to avoid wearing one whenever possible. What's it about the societal obsession to hide the fact that humans have nipples?

I agree. And they're visible sometimes even when a woman is wearing a bra. Is this is an American thing? Do people in Germany/other cultures care if nipples show? My recollection from living in Germany several decades ago was that the German people didn't care.

I prefer not to wear a bra at all, but do when I'm at work or when it matters. I usually wear a camisole if I'm going all day without a bra. My biggest issue with them is the boob sweat. I hate it when my bra is wet so, due to where we live and the extra heat we've had this summer, if I'm running errands, there will be boob sweat.

I was a chaperone at a teen church camp several years back and was surprised all the female teens wore their bras to bed. They were uncomfortable that I didn't.

[Kassia]

11 minutes ago, Kalmia said:

Like Garga, I have sensory issues that encourage me to wear a bra and shoes pretty much all the time, except when sleeping. Though I can go barefoot outdoors without triggering them (Pebbles, grass, sand, leaves okay. Spilled food, legos, drops of water on the hardwood, and dog hair not okay--and yes, I know I should just sweep multiple times per day, ha!). I generally have barely noticed my bras, except that one brand that wore out at the edge of the underwire and stabbed a hole into my side boob. Not good. However, my 10 year old "new" bras are not accommodating my newfound plumpness, so I will have to go bra shopping again. I have recently been told that my "new" bras actually have a vertical seam on the underside of the cup that can be seen through t-shirts, so I will have to abandon the tried and true. I would like to find a lightly padded, cup style cotton bra that opens in the back or front (no overhead styles). We'll see. It is always expensive to test drive new bras.

I hate bras and hate going barefoot.  I try to wear tops that have shelf bras - I like those better than traditional bras.  Otherwise I like soft bralettes.  Like you, I have some newfound plumpness (I like the way you worded that) and will need new bras, unfortunately.  

[stephanier.1765]

1 hour ago, Indigo Blue said:

Can you even imagine what level of torture it would be to have to wear a shirt buttoned up around your neck tight as a drum with a tie wrapped around? Every day? And if you had to also wear a suit jacket? 

Yikes. That’s one thing we don’t have to endure, at least. I would be so incredibly uncomfortable. It makes me twitchy just thinking about that. 

That reminds me of Prince George at Wimbledon this year. I felt so bad for the little fella wearing a suit and tie in the heat.

I wear a bra from the time I get up and until I undress for bed. I'm actually not comfortable without one while trying to sleep, though. I hate the feel of my books lying against the skin of my chest. Constantly, I'm tucking my pjs up and under to put a barrier between them.

[Indigo Blue]

I tend to want to sleep in a bra if the boys are spending a week here. That way, I’m decent in that area (because my sleep tops are 2 sizes too big and therefore very low cut on me … because I only like them this way for sleeping) and no matter what happens during the night I’m ready. 
 

Older ds was here one night and woke up with intense pain at 3:00 am. It was December, and I threw on pants and grabbed a coat. No bra. No hair combing. No teeth brushing. Sat in the ER all night and ds had emergency surgery the next day. Once I knew he was going to be okay, I began to be more self aware and I kept my coat closed around me. I looked and felt like trash. Then Dh agreed to let friends come sit with us. I just didn’t think it was necessary, and in times like that, I’m more private and only want visitors when I feel prepared and ready.

So………even if I need to get up for water and they are still up talking, I feel better with a bra on. Sometimes they start talking to me….I may end up hanging out for a bit. So, I’m never caught like that. 

[Ali in OR]

I have no problem with bras, especially now that I spend $$$ to get well-fitting nice ones. But shoes are a necessary evil (stupid plantar fasciitis). I wear only Birkenstocks if I must wear them in the house. Still I'm usually shoeless unless I need to stand a lot (eg making dinner).

[Clarita]

I feel weird because I really like wearing underwrite t-shirt bras. It makes me feel supported, otherwise I feel like the girls are dragging me down (they are in the middle in terms of size). 

During sleep time I'm braless unless I'm bfing, because I leak then.

[SKL]

I almost never wear a bra.  They are so uncomfortable for me.

This is another thing that changed with age.  As a teen I would even sleep in a bra.  My kids insist on sleeping in bras - they only go braless in the shower!  I don't remember hating bras until sometime in my professional life.  I started to feel strangled in anything tight.  I started choosing a braless-friendly wardrobe probably in my 30s.

Other things I developed an aversion for include pantyhose (tight at the waist) and kneehighs / socks (tight on the calves).  I have found socks that are not tight - wish I could find a bra like that.  (I have tried so many options over the years.)  High heels, but I have never liked them from day one.

 

[Terabith]

6 hours ago, Carrie12345 said:

Do not like.

But I appreciate them holding things in place and making things less eye catching in public!  I know a few free the ta-tas people, but they all happen to be much more manageable sizes.  Their belief that we shouldn’t feel socially obligated to constrain ourselves is admirable. But my girls will always be holstered outside of my home, even if just to keep boob sweat from sucking my shirt up and under.

I didn’t wear them when I was nursing.  But there were some very awkward moments when my shirt got hooked up on something else. 

[Kassia]

1 hour ago, Indigo Blue said:

I tend to want to sleep in a bra if the boys are spending a week here. That way, I’m decent in that area (because my sleep tops are 2 sizes too big and therefore very low cut on me … because I only like them this way for sleeping) and no matter what happens during the night I’m ready. 
 

Older ds was here one night and woke up with intense pain at 3:00 am. It was December, and I threw on pants and grabbed a coat. No bra. No hair combing. No teeth brushing. Sat in the ER all night and ds had emergency surgery the next day. Once I knew he was going to be okay, I began to be more self aware and I kept my coat closed around me. I looked and felt like trash. Then Dh agreed to let friends come sit with us. I just didn’t think it was necessary, and in times like that, I’m more private and only want visitors when I feel prepared and ready.

So………even if I need to get up for water and they are still up talking, I feel better with a bra on. Sometimes they start talking to me….I may end up hanging out for a bit. So, I’m never caught like that. 

good point.  I'm much more careful with bras when my sons are home.  Never thought about an ER visit, though!  

[Terabith]

11 hours ago, rebcoola said:

I can't stand bras.  I have huge b00ks (42L) and it seems like everyone else finds bras more comfy than free  but bras kill me.  My mom has worked as a I've tried a million different kinds, been professionally fitted more than once.  I hate bras!!!  My main motivation for weight loss is to get down to weight were insurance will pay for my breast reduction.

I am appalled that insurance would refuse to cover reduction for weight issues!  I had one about ten years ago while obese.  Having huge boobs makes exercise sooo much harder.  I am still angry that the plastic surgeon used his “artistic judgment” to keep me at a DD rather than the B or C cup I had said I wanted.  But it’s still a massive life improvement.  

[heartlikealion]

I don't think I wear the right size bra. I have tried many many times, but it's just so complicated. Like I might think I've finally found the right size, but then the cups are placed too close together and I feel like I have side boob that's not supported and then I just feel fat. 

I've literally gone to bra fittings in dept stores and had them give different answers on size and had little to nothing to offer me. Though, these were both pre kids probably. One woman said my size was "Nearly A." I was like oh great, like finding an A cup in the adult section isn't hard enough... now I gotta hunt down "Nearly A"? It's got to be a joke right... "NA" LOL 

Since I work from home I usually don't wear a bra during the day. 

[Ting Tang]

I do not like them.  I have to order mine because they are a special size, and even the same size in the same brand may not fit well.  Unfortunately, with a son who will be 11, I need to be careful when I go braless.  Oh and I hate how they cost the fortune---it's not a post-pandemic thing, either.  

[Indigo Blue]

Another reason I need to wear a bra is because I have small b0Oks. I need to look like I have some semblance of shape there. When people hug me, I worry they can feel the the cup crushing in because there’s nothing to fill it up. I can’t believe I’m saying this here, but it’s true.