Updates 2023 (job hunt etc)

[KungFuPanda]

 

On 2/20/2023 at 10:48 AM, heartlikealion said:

I have a new pain on my left side. Been icing off/on. Told the nurse. They said just check in after the antibiotics are done. 

Loosely planning on driving to my dad’s house on Wed night. Not sure about sitting in the car though. Hurts to move around right now. I canceled my annual wellness visit that was Wed. Definitely not in the mood to give blood etc. 

 

On 2/20/2023 at 11:14 AM, ktgrok said:

You may have pulled a muscle coughing, or have some chostrochondritis going on. 

And agreeing that using cough suppressant 24/7 isn't usually ideal - and definitely agree with guaifenicin/Mucinex. That stuff has prevented many a sinus infection in me - but you have to drink a lot with it for it to work well. 

Or cracked a rib.  I have a couple friends who did that.

 

16 hours ago, heartlikealion said:

Xh refused to swap weekends. I figured that the Mon-Wed connected to last weekend so really only days I could claim are Thurs afternoon-Sunday. I planned to drive down Wed night and pick her up after school Thursday, but xh said they had "plans" and would not be willing to give me the weekend. So right now the weekends of the girls (my friend's daughter and mine) won't line up and I guess I won't see dd til March 2. I have that networking even on March 4 and my dad will have to tuck dd in so I can go. I was hoping to avoid that, too. But it is what it is. 

It sucks that he sucks, but it might give you a chance to fully recover.  That car ride was never going to be comfortable.

6 hours ago, heartlikealion said:

He has swapped in the past without it being a big deal. That’s why I thought it would go smoother. I had to swap a weekend I was at a car seat check event many months ago. 

He's still playing Super Dad in front of the new wife.  Eventually he'll show his true self to her and quit trying.  Your daughter will hit puberty before you know it and I predict he lacks the coping skills for THAT situation.  DEFINITELY keep a detailed log of all the times switches were made or refused.  I have divorced coworker that exclusively communicates with his ex through a texting app that the courts can access.  Maybe do something like that to cut down on any gaslighting attempts.

 

[heartlikealion]

27 minutes ago, KungFuPanda said:

 

 

Or cracked a rib.  I have a couple friends who did that.

 

It sucks that he sucks, but it might give you a chance to fully recover.  That car ride was never going to be comfortable.

He's still playing Super Dad in front of the new wife.  Eventually he'll show his true self to her and quit trying.  Your daughter will hit puberty before you know it and I predict he lacks the coping skills for THAT situation.  DEFINITELY keep a detailed log of all the times switches were made or refused.  I have divorced coworker that exclusively communicates with his ex through a texting app that the courts can access.  Maybe do something like that to cut down on any gaslighting attempts.

 

Monday’s X-ray was normal. Just inflammation they think. 

We tried the app route but it didn’t have a texting section. Just places to list events, ask for movey, upload receipts. We almost never talk on the phone. It’s all written. 

[heartlikealion]

I don’t know what plans they had but apparently they received a cancellation text around 6:30 tonight so now I can have the weekend if I want but they still need certain other weekends so we need to come up with a plan on the others. I think I’ll drive tomorrow and utilize this weekend, let him have next weekend and I get a makeup one because juggling dd and the networking event is gonna be too stressful. I haven’t figured out when to get on the road etc. 

[heartlikealion]

I made the drive Thursday morning. Picked dd up from school. We have a pizza ritual lately lol got pizza after school. Asked her if she knew what plans were canceled. At first she wasn’t sure and I said I assumed it was a child’s birthday party or something. Then she said yes, a classmate’s party got canceled (this whole thing is so stupid! Obviously I could have taken her to the party or dropped her off with dad or whatever rather than it affecting making/breaking a weekend visit). 

My gf’s daughter is in town so I messaged her to see if they want to get together. Coincidentally they’re having an informal birthday celebration and said we’re welcome to meet them at the children’s museum. I don’t believe dd has ever been to this particular Museum. We had membership to the other one. 

I plan to stay here the full week til after the networking event. My neighbor is aware and checking on the cat. I am feeling much better. 

[heartlikealion]

Dd is not really a chocolate person. Gave her a belated Valentine’s day gift (baby Yoda themed with gummy frogs). She loved it. 

Edited February 24, 2023 by heartlikealion

[Scarlett]

Glad you got to see her.  Hope you are feeling better.  

[heartlikealion]

Had a good weekend with dd and had her yesterday after school, too. My friend's daughter had a birthday celebration. We met several of her family members, played at the children's museum, went to a pizza place with them, then hung out at my friend's house that evening (her daughter, my daughter, and a cousin all close in age). Yesterday I picked up dd and her friend (from after school place) and let the girls play together at my dad's home.

I tried to add my dad to the school pick up list and emergency contact list. The school said only dad can do that. So I had to ask dad and he said he would add my dad, but that anytime my dad picked up dd he would need to be informed of why/where they were going (ugh). Is it just me or does that sound controlling? I don't keep tabs on where dd goes every day she's on his watch. I would have no idea if my ex SIL checked dd out of school. And I wouldn't really stress about it, either. What is the worst I could do? Have my dad check dd out early so we can play hooky? I literally couldn't take her to some secret dr visit or out of state lines so what's he worried about? lol. 

[Drama Llama]

22 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

Had a good weekend with dd and had her yesterday after school, too. My friend's daughter had a birthday celebration. We met several of her family members, played at the children's museum, went to a pizza place with them, then hung out at my friend's house that evening (her daughter, my daughter, and a cousin all close in age). Yesterday I picked up dd and her friend (from after school place) and let the girls play together at my dad's home.

I tried to add my dad to the school pick up list and emergency contact list. The school said only dad can do that. So I had to ask dad and he said he would add my dad, but that anytime my dad picked up dd he would need to be informed of why/where they were going (ugh). Is it just me or does that sound controlling? I don't keep tabs on where dd goes every day she's on his watch. I would have no idea if my ex SIL checked dd out of school. And I wouldn't really stress about it, either. What is the worst I could do? Have my dad check dd out early so we can play hooky? I literally couldn't take her to some secret dr visit or out of state lines so what's he worried about? lol. 

So, I think your ex is a controlling thing that sounds like a glassbowl.

But, as the custodial parent, I'd want to know if someone picked up my kid at school.  If it's your scheduled time, then of course the answer for why/where would be "visitation with her mom".  He shouldn't provide any more details than that.  Dad doesn't need to know if you're going for pizza or ice skating or to a birthday party with a friend unless there's something like "Going ice skating, can you send her bike helmet?".  But if he got called as emergency contact, so it's on your ex's time, then I think it's reasonable for your Dad to message him "I got a message that DD was throwing up and the school couldn't reach you.  I'm taking her to my house and you can pick her up there."  

 

[heartlikealion]

1 minute ago, BandH said:

So, I think your ex is a controlling thing that sounds like a glassbowl.

But, as the custodial parent, I'd want to know if someone picked up my kid at school.  If it's your scheduled time, then of course the answer for why/where would be "visitation with her mom".  He shouldn't provide any more details than that.  Dad doesn't need to know if you're going for pizza or ice skating or to a birthday party with a friend unless there's something like "Going ice skating, can you send her bike helmet?".  But if he got called as emergency contact, so it's on your ex's time, then I think it's reasonable for your Dad to message him "I got a message that DD was throwing up and the school couldn't reach you.  I'm taking her to my house and you can pick her up there."  

 

I'm actually not mostly referring to check outs. I'm referring to the car line. He is allowed to get in the car line on my behalf. Why should I have to tell xh that? My dad would do it if say, I was stuck in traffic or couldn't leave town early enough to be there on my day. He wouldn't have to go inside to sign her out if he was picking her up in that type of scenario. But I feel like xh is asking that anytime it's not me in the car line, he be notified details. 

I cannot imagine any time in which my dad would be called as an emergency person on a day that isn't mine. Xh would sooner die than call my family lol. He would call his wife, dad, sister, brother-in-law, pretty much ANYONE. 

[heartlikealion]

I realized I mentioned dad picking dd up and then jumped to check outs, so I was unclear. But on average, my dad would probably only be involved to pick her up at the end of the school day rather than early. 

[Drama Llama]

1 minute ago, heartlikealion said:

I'm actually not mostly referring to check outs. I'm referring to the car line. He is allowed to get in the car line on my behalf. Why should I have to tell xh that? My dad would do it if say, I was stuck in traffic or couldn't leave town early enough to be there on my day. He wouldn't have to go inside to sign her out if he was picking her up in that type of scenario. But I feel like xh is asking that anytime it's not me in the car line, he be notified details. 

Oh no, that's not reasonable.  If DD goes home and says "Grandpa got me today" and he asks why you can say "it was for visitation" and if he asks why you didn't let him know, I would say "you already knew she was being picked up for visitation". 

1 minute ago, heartlikealion said:

I cannot imagine any time in which my dad would be called as an emergency person on a day that isn't mine. Xh would sooner die than call my family lol. He would call his wife, dad, sister, brother-in-law, pretty much ANYONE. 

But the school is the one who chooses who they call from the emergency list.  If his name is on the emergency list, then there's a chance he'd be called.  I've certainly called through a child's entire emergency list before.  

Can you say "I can't imagine that my Dad would ever pick up except for scheduled visitation, but of course if he's ever contacted as an emergency pick up, then of course we'll reach out!"  

This is assuming you don't have that "Mrs. Doubtfire" clause about right of first refusal.  

[heartlikealion]

2 minutes ago, BandH said:

Oh no, that's not reasonable.  If DD goes home and says "Grandpa got me today" and he asks why you can say "it was for visitation" and if he asks why you didn't let him know, I would say "you already knew she was being picked up for visitation". 

But the school is the one who chooses who they call from the emergency list.  If his name is on the emergency list, then there's a chance he'd be called.  I've certainly called through a child's entire emergency list before.  

Can you say "I can't imagine that my Dad would ever pick up except for scheduled visitation, but of course if he's ever contacted as an emergency pick up, then of course we'll reach out!"  

This is assuming you don't have that "Mrs. Doubtfire" clause about right of first refusal.  

I like your answer. I'm just afraid he'll say that is enough reason to remove my dad from the list. Since he has that power. Ugh.

I sent an email to my attorney today to ask if he had started drafting the settlement. I mentioned concerns about the p/u list and emergency contact list and requirements of me for what I must tell xh. I asked about getting 3 weekends a month (because let's face it, extra summer time isn't gonna cut it... I'll be working. Dd will need to go to camp or something). And some other things. I know we need to hammer this out soon as the court date on file is end of March. 

[Drama Llama]

4 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

I like your answer. I'm just afraid he'll say that is enough reason to remove my dad from the list. Since he has that power. Ugh.

I sent an email to my attorney today to ask if he had started drafting the settlement. I mentioned concerns about the p/u list and emergency contact list and requirements of me for what I must tell xh. I asked about getting 3 weekends a month (because let's face it, extra summer time isn't gonna cut it... I'll be working. Dd will need to go to camp or something). And some other things. I know we need to hammer this out soon as the court date on file is end of March. 

Can you put him on the pick up list and not the emergency contact list?

My kids pick up list is way longer than their emergency contact list, and always has been (this isn't just a divorce thing). As a teacher, that's what I expect too.  

[heartlikealion]

Just now, BandH said:

Can you put him on the pick up list and not the emergency contact list?

My kids pick up list is way longer than their emergency contact list, and always has been (this isn't just a divorce thing). As a teacher, that's what I expect too.  

He was added to both yesterday. I'm sure we could remove him, but I think it's better to just leave it? 

[heartlikealion]

Still applying for jobs. But most don’t appear they even would pay enough 😞 attending networking event Sat night, going to ask Officr Depot if they can print my resume on some good paper and keep copies in my car. The paper is sold out at Walmart so I’d have to go inside OD anyway and my dad’s printer sucks for color. 

[Drama Llama]

5 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

He was added to both yesterday. I'm sure we could remove him, but I think it's better to just leave it? 

Yes, if he's already there I would leave it.  But if you're thinking about adding it to the settlement, you might just say pick up list.  

[heartlikealion]

The networking event was good. I got a couple leads. One person said they just lost an employee and will call me this week. 

it was an 80s/90s theme and fun to see what people wore. Even funnier… people not aware of the event seeing me. This hair!! Lol 

Edited March 5, 2023 by heartlikealion

[Starr]

So fun!

[stephanier.1765]

OMG, I had totally forgotten the crimped hair style. That's awesome!

[mommyoffive]

You look awesome!  It always cracks me up when dressing like the 80s or 90s is a thing, because it makes me feel so old.

Hoping you get that call this week!

[Soror]

Looking fabulous girl, best wishes on the job hunt.

[heartlikealion]

Thank you.

I never fully trust people to follow up so I try to get info to enable myself to do the following up. I was supposed to hear from the company Monday and didn't by end of business day so I reached out/offered to send my resumé. They read the message (text settings said so) but no response. That doesn't look great for me. 😕 But you never know what's going on behind the scenes. 

[heartlikealion]

I’m getting a bit antsy. This month I have a makeup weekend so that means 3 weekends in a row which means too much time at my dad’s. I decided to drive back to my house after the second weekend in anticipation of magazine deliveries (so, March 26) and to just relieve the cat sitters/see my cat etc. Then drive back again for weekend 3. But this is draining. My normal cat sitters goofed and I returned to kitty with dirty water and no food out once. Currently my landlords are the ones checking on her but that’s awkward for me. 

My attorney hasn’t sent over the settlement draft as he probably hasn’t started it. Our court date is end of March so he needs to send it over asap so I can review/modify it. Yes, I’ve talked to him within the last few days and that’s what I was told. I have followed up, too. 

I try to make the most of our visits. I took dd to a St. Patrick’s Day parade on Friday night and a trampoline place last night. I have plans scheduled with our friends next weekend when my friend’s daughter is in town. 

I went in person to drop off my résumé at the place where the guy blew off my text. The receptionist said she left it with him and he’ll “be in touch.” I dropped it off Thursday. I’m not holding my breath.

My dad is so militant in his thinking which displays in his interactions with others and dd doesn’t like being here because there are no kids (she often comments she misses her stepbro). I’d get a hotel room if it was practical but it’s not. And the rooms we stay in don’t feel like ours because they are multipurpose rooms. My dad wants to go in one to use the SOQI bed. And my aunt comes in the other to use the desktop. Dd is frustrated she has no where to keep her toys and my dad and I have knocked over her calico critters stuff by mistake a couple times. 

[heartlikealion]

Today was fun. We played laser/lazer tag for the first time ever. I had a blast. I think dd did, too. We were paired with another family and we did free for all so it wasn’t lopsided 3 against 2. We warmed up from that (it was chilly outside) so I decided to redeem our coupon for a free go kart ride. We did the 2 seater where I drove and she was a passenger. The single riders on our track were dangerous and tried to zoom past where the track was too narrow ugh. So I tried to keep us to the far edge. There are signs that say no bumping and one of them deliberately bumped us. Dd was kinda nervous and left with a headache but she didn’t hate it.

Afterwards I took her to a casino like I did with her brother years ago… back then they had just opened a Ben & Jerry’s. They now have that plus a Dunkin’ Donuts. We got donuts. Kids are allowed in this part of the building. Another visit we may try out a rope course at another casino. 

Edited March 19, 2023 by heartlikealion

[Faith-manor]

Looks like a LOT of fun! Happy for you that it was a good day.

[heartlikealion]

My friend's ex messed up their weekends so now we won't have the girls at the same time next weekend boo!! I'll see if I can make plans for them on Thursday night as a substitute! And possibly the following weekend if they line up again. 

At least I know some things dd and I can do instead next weekend. 

I'm going crazy without my workout routine so I'm doing a trial at a local gym. I might end up signing up (the monthly fees are low, it's the sign up fee and annual fee that get you!). 

[heartlikealion]

My dad and aunt are chipping away at my mental health. 😣😣 

Staying here is stressful. 

And you might not understand but trust me, it’s difficult. Like I drove my aunt somewhere (she doesn’t drive and I invited her to eat with me and dd one day) and I was wondering if the Walgreens was still there or replaced… just before I saw it she said they probably shut it down like a lot of others because of the abortion pills they sell (wait, what?!). I tried my best to not engage much… just said “I’ve never heard that.” With my father, after his random rant on these “abortion pills” the previous day, I tried to set him straight that if he’s referring to Plan B, it doesn’t abort an existing pregnancy… it’s used prior to implantation. He and I fought and he said he was done talking (lol). 

[heartlikealion]

Ok I just googled this topic and maybe they aren’t talking about the Plan B product. But he didn’t correct me.

At any rate, that’s just one example. Another was when I urged him to say “Asians” instead of “Orientals” and he got defensive that he won’t remember all these rules and change his speech because he might offend someone. To which I said guess I shouldn’t censor myself around you and just cuss. I know, I’m awful! I overheard him talking to my aunt and they decided it didn’t sound bad 🙄 I said later if he really wants to know, he should have a conversation with his Asian neighbor. 

[heartlikealion]

I have to announce I’m using the microwave if my dad is within like 20 ft so he excuses himself to be in a safer distance. This means if he’s sitting at the dining room table I have to disrupt him or eat something else. 

I hid a new piercing all week to avoid a lecture. 

Edited March 22, 2023 by heartlikealion

[maize]

(((hugs)))

I know it's tough now, and it is completely unfair that you can't just enjoy visits with your daughter in your own place.

It's worth the sacrifices you are making to have the time with her. I promise it is. It's completely unfair that your ex has made things so preposterously difficult, but you're doing the right thing. It will be temporary --one way or another, things will get better.

Regarding your dad and aunt, I'd try to practice an internal pass-the-been-dip attitude. They aren't going to change the way they talk or the way they think because of your efforts to help them see things differently. And...it truly isn't your responsibility to try to effect those changes. The only thing those kinds of comments and efforts are going to achieve is friction in the relationship.

Letting other people be wrong is really an excellent skill to practice. It's the wisest choice 99% of the time. 

[heartlikealion]

Just now, maize said:

(((hugs)))

I know it's tough now, and it is completely unfair that you can't just enjoy visits with your daughter in your own place.

It's worth the sacrifices you are making to have the time with her. I promise it is. It's completely unfair that your ex has made things so preposterously difficult, but you're doing the right thing. It will be temporary --one way or another, things will get better.

Regarding your dad and aunt, I'd try to practice an internal pass-the-been-dip attitude. They aren't going to change the way they talk or the way they think because of your efforts to help them see things differently. And...it truly isn't your responsibility to try to effect those changes. The only thing those kinds of comments and efforts are going to achieve is friction in the relationship.

Letting other people be wrong is really an excellent skill to practice. It's the wisest choice 99% of the time. 

Most of the time I don’t react or comment to their religious, political etc things. It’s easy for me to end up in public with my dad and I was trying to nip the whole Asian terminology in the bud. He’s a wild card. I never know what he’ll say or do in public. I guess I just need to hope his speech isn’t seen as a reflection on me if we’re together… but you know how that can go. They think birds of a feather. I do limit my outings with him. I mostly stay in my room during the day and now I’ve been going to gyms on free trials in the evening. 

My aunt sends and prints articles, which mostly go unread/ignored. 

I don’t always join then for dinner. Partly because of conversation and partly because they might eat at weird times like tonight at 4:30 while I was working. 

I keep telling myself that it’s worth it but I’m wondering if there’s somewhere else I can stay next visit or meet dd at my house. It’s a lot. 

[heartlikealion]

I got permission to pick up my friend’s daughter from her after school place (I’m on the list, I’ve done it before) so the girls will see each other after school today and eat dinner together.

I’m attending a zoom meeting tonight to learn more about a potential job path… women in construction. There are grants in place to cover the cost of the training. Then they assist you with job placement. A friend’s sister did it and now works at a local place making good money. 

I went to the gym 3 nights in a row (2 different gym trials). Today is the last day on my Crunch Fitness trial and I doubt I’ll go because of work/dd but that’s ok. I enjoyed my time there and I’d be happy to join either gym depending on where I live. I think Crunch has a cancellation fee whereas Planet Fitness is monthly with no commitment. However with either one if I moved I could transfer the membership to another location. I’m still waiting on reimbursement from my child passenger certification renewal. Once I get that, it will help offset the gym fees.  

[Scarlett]

3 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

I got permission to pick up my friend’s daughter from her after school place (I’m on the list, I’ve done it before) so the girls will see each other after school today and eat dinner together.

I’m attending a zoom meeting tonight to learn more about a potential job path… women in construction. There are grants in place to cover the cost of the training. Then they assist you with job placement. A friend’s sister did it and now works at a local place making good money. 

 

That is super cool!   I can’t wait to hear more about this!

[heartlikealion]

2 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

That is super cool!   I can’t wait to hear more about this!

My biggest concern is my plantar fasciitis. Might be on feet too long with no chance to sit. 

The first class coming up is 2 weeks and meets 9am-2pm. You get a small stipend for each week you attend. 

[heartlikealion]

I read on the website that you must submit proof of income— I don’t know if there are low income requirements to be approved. Usually I make too much for programs that require low income since I don’t claim any dependents. 

Edited March 23, 2023 by heartlikealion

[freesia]

Maybe there will be a place you can share your child support payment. 

[heartlikealion]

7 minutes ago, freesia said:

Maybe there will be a place you can share your child support payment. 

Good thinking. When I attend the zoom meeting maybe they can elaborate on the requirements. On the initial intake form for the zoom thing it asked about children and you chose if you were non custodial parent so I selected that on both. 

[heartlikealion]

Pros/cons

pro - dd and her friend had fun all afternoon/evening. 

I briefly saw ds the other night when I dropped off her jacket and went ahead and gave him Easter stuff early since it was in my car. It was mostly food. He seemed happy. I just want him to know I still think of him. 

attended the zoom meeting on the construction stuff. Got estimates on state wages/possible jobs. My current income will not be an obstacle! Currently they have a grant that doesn’t require the specific income standards others do. Other times it’s a factor but not right now! The 2 week course is not all in person. Part is done online and they give recommendations on how to pace yourself. Other days you go in person. Sometimes class size is what affects your ability to get into the program. I don’t know how many are trying right now. 

con - dd is very upset her friend won’t be around this weekend and whines the home is boring without kids (she stated she misses her brothers, step mom and dad). Sigh. I have no control over that. I suggested she get contact info for another friend (neighbor she hangs out with). She said she doesn’t have any close friends in her class. 

I thought I lost this post for a min because my dad turns off the router every night when he goes to bed. Turning it back on is a PITA. It’s in the garage and has a wonky remote control we usually operate from inside. He doesn’t like it on when he’s sleeping. I’m using my phone data now. 

[heartlikealion]

Next weekend I’m staying at my girlfriend’s (young kids + pets) but I really need to find somewhere peaceful to hang my hat soon. My dad is stressing me out and vice versa. Accused me of closing a door to the laundry room that I didn’t close, for example… after I reiterated I didn’t. 

I am worried I’ll be limited to desk jobs because of my feet. And he scoffed at the pay I mentioned for the manual labor saying that’s really not much money. It’s more than I  make now!! And with time and additional certifications the pay goes up. 

Telling myself to ignore him and his expectations. I just need to focus of my personal goals. Doesn’t matter if they are beneath his standards. 

[heartlikealion]

I've reached out a few times in the past few days. No update on the settlement yet. The court date is March 30 so this really should be resolved before then. 

I followed up twice with a company that had a job posting online. They didn't get all my info either time apparently (not my fault, portal issues or something). This time they went ahead and scheduled me a zoom interview for Monday and had me email my resume. Job is in Louisiana. 

[heartlikealion]

Mon meeting with lawyer is now set. 

[maize]

10 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

Mon meeting with lawyer is now set. 

Finally!

[heartlikealion]

Kids are fickle lol this note I found while cleaning her backpack tonight means a lot. (“Mo” is a nickname some people call me lol)

We actually knocked on her neighbor’s door this afternoon, but they weren't home. I’ll eventually get their contact info. 

Local friends/Facebook has been helping me find local activities. Tomorrow we can go to an evening egg hunt and outdoor movie. Just found out there’s a daytime carnival too which sounds fun.

This child had never been to a Waffle House. They are all over, but not so much where we were living. So today we ate there and enjoyed that… complete with an employee with a very Southern accent and our waitress that dropped the “babydoll” etc language. Dd was surprised and I said, “oh that’s totally common” (haven’t heard in a long time, though). I am a waffle fan myself but they sell sandwiches etc. for those not familiar. 

Edited March 25, 2023 by heartlikealion

[heartlikealion]

Just found out they were assigned to write a note to someone they would see that day.. so that was me by default. But it’s still sweet. 

One job app is ridiculous. They want you to have a former or current employer fill out a thing about your relevant skills. I think that’s asking too much. What ever happened to simply listing references or getting that info after they are serious about a candidate? 

[Tree Frog]

Your dd chose you to write to instead of her dad. I think that was sweet!

I've never heard of a previous employer needing to fill out paperwork for a job application. That's really strange. Why would a previous employer be willing to complete something for someone they no longer have contact with? Is there another option for a different type of reference?

I saw that tornados hit your state and it looks pretty devastating. Are you affected by them? I'm assuming because you posted just a couple of hours ago that you weren't directly hit.

[heartlikealion]

38 minutes ago, Tree Frog said:

Your dd chose you to write to instead of her dad. I think that was sweet!

I've never heard of a previous employer needing to fill out paperwork for a job application. That's really strange. Why would a previous employer be willing to complete something for someone they no longer have contact with? Is there another option for a different type of reference?

I saw that tornados hit your state and it looks pretty devastating. Are you affected by them? I'm assuming because you posted just a couple of hours ago that you weren't directly hit.

She told me she’s written notes to dad before and was going to see me that day and it’d been a long time since she’s written one to me (I didn’t ask, she offered this info). I was the only parent she saw that day since I met her after school/she’d been staying with me. But regardless, no one made her say what she said. It’s still meaningful to me. 

I’m still trying to figure out the tornados! My landlords said they affected Rolling Fork really badly. I wasn’t familiar with that area so I googled it. It’s not that close to my house. I’m at my dad’s house right now, 4 hrs from mine. I checked in with my landlords to ask about the tornados and my cat and they didn’t say anything about our town being affected.

The job request is bonkers and I’m going to blame not filling it out on my boss’ illness. I will say something like I’m qualified because ABC, feel free to confirm with my employer if you need to. She has pneumonia and I don’t want to rub it in that I’m job hunting even though she’s aware. I intend to offer to stay PT with the magazine if possible. 

[heartlikealion]

I researched Parent Night Out etc events looking for events with kids and discovered that while I can’t use the local YMCA PNO I can use their facilities! It’s a nationwide membership deal. I’ll go in person sometime and they have to manually sign me in. Technically you’re not supposed to use the other locations more than 50% of the time compared to your home locations. But they don’t closely monitor it. The local location has 2 pools and workout equipment so I’m sure I’ll go next visit. Dd is on my family plan (that I got through work) so I can take her swimming if it’s warm enough. 

Edited March 25, 2023 by heartlikealion
Typo

[rebcoola]

1 minute ago, heartlikealion said:

I researched Parent Night Out etc events looking for events with kids and discovered that while I can’t use the local YMCA PNO I can use their facilities! It’s a nationwide membership deal. I’ll go in person sometime and they have to manually sign me in. Technically you’re not supposed to use the other locations more than 50% of the time compared to your home locations. But they don’t closely monitor it. The local location has 2 pools and without equipment so I’m sure I’ll go next visit. Dd is on my family plan (that I got through work) so I can take her swimming if it’s warm enough. 

Yeah we had 2 like an hour apart back in Wisconsin and I'm sure we sometimes used the away one more but they  never said anything.

[heartlikealion]

Just now, rebcoola said:

Yeah we had 2 like an hour apart back in Wisconsin and I'm sure we sometimes used the away one more but they  never said anything.

Well my current membership covers 3 locations. Those locations are all about an he from my house. They have no restrictions on that. 

The one by my dad is not what I’d call a sister club. It’s linked to only one other. Neither close to my membership cities. Several hours away. The ones you went to were possibly part of a unit. I don’t know the terms they use. 

[heartlikealion]

I went to see my attorney yesterday. We wrote up the modified visitation proposal and did the math to see how many days I get now vs proposal. We made it match up nearly 100%. I’ll post more details after we send it to the other party and get closure. 

My attorney put me at ease by explaining that no, my child support would not increase by going before a judge. The judge wouldn’t override the current cs plan. But I guess I thought that because last time we had no settlement in hand, just a possible settlement vs court. 

I didn’t get the job in Metairie. Only certain people were called back for round 2 interviews and they got the call last night. But I think I have a good shot at a closer job. They barely gave us any time to apply and I faxed over my completed packet yesterday. The one where I answered on my boss’ behalf and said please call her if you need to confirm info. My boss is aware. All my references I listed are aware. The job asked for my transcripts which honestly I thought they’d only ask for IF they were ready to interview. I almost got eliminated because I was in the city without my laptop and not sure I could get the transcripts to her. There was some pushback but then they agreed to let me email last night. For some reason, on an old email that contains the transcript, I was unable to open it… which is why I was uncertain I could successfully send it. I even told her that and said I might have to take a photo of the screen. She said ok. But I got the attachment off my device and it appears to open just fine. She confirmed she got everything this morning. 

They list a timeline saying mid April you can call to check job status and sometime after that they will schedule interviews. So I won’t know anything for a while. 

the construction people reached out and I need to follow up but I just don’t think I’d be able to meet the physical demands. 

Edited March 28, 2023 by heartlikealion