Updates 2023 (job hunt etc)

[heartlikealion]

Just now, catz said:

That's too bad, but good for you for putting yourself out there and moving on when it was time.  

My friend talked me into another dating app. I’m going out to dinner tonight with a guy but think it’s just friend vibes most likely and have made it clear I don’t even know where I’ll be living in the next several months. I have no real expectations and after this I might just delete the app again. Dating is such a pain lol 

[catz]

Just now, heartlikealion said:

My friend talked me into another dating app. I’m going out to dinner tonight with a guy but think it’s just friend vibes most likely and have made it clear I don’t even know where I’ll be living in the next several months. I have no real expectations and after this I might just delete the app again. Dating is such a pain lol 

You might also just consider finding some social groups that will work for you as well while you're thinking through your options if sitting at home lonely is tough - hiking, crafts, book club, community ed classes, etc.  Wherever your interests might lie.  In the long term, that can be a good way to meet people too.

Hope it goes well!

[heartlikealion]

Just now, catz said:

You might also just consider finding some social groups that will work for you as well while you're thinking through your options if sitting at home lonely is tough - hiking, crafts, book club, community ed classes, etc.  Wherever your interests might lie.  In the long term, that can be a good way to meet people too.

Hope it goes well!

I’ve tried all that. I meet usually weekly with my trivia team to get out of the house. There aren’t a lot of options here. 

[Scarlett]

I feel like I am always saying something negative to you.   But please hear this with love.  Please consider putting dating on the back burner for just a bit. Get this custody/visitation figured out first. Like you said you do t even know where you will be living in 6 months time.

 

[heartlikealion]

41 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

I feel like I am always saying something negative to you.   But please hear this with love.  Please consider putting dating on the back burner for just a bit. Get this custody/visitation figured out first. Like you said you do t even know where you will be living in 6 months time.

 

Yeah I know.
It doesn’t matter anyway, we canceled the dinner.

[Scarlett]

5 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

Yeah I know.
It doesn’t matter anyway, we canceled the dinner.

I hate for you to feel lonely.  I know how that feels.Some of my worst mistakes were immediately following my divorce….so I am speaking from experience. When I encourage you to hold off on dating it is not because I think your needs are not important……it is because I think you are very valuable and youreally need to take care of yourself right now while dealing with the crap your ex husband is sending your way.  You don’t need any distractions right now. I mean other than posting here. 😉 

[heartlikealion]

2 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

I hate for you to feel lonely.  I know how that feels.Some of my worst mistakes were immediately following my divorce….so I am speaking from experience. When I encourage you to hold off on dating it is not because I think your needs are not important……it is because I think you are very valuable and youreally need to take care of yourself right now while dealing with the crap your ex husband is sending your way.  You don’t need any distractions right now. I mean other than posting here. 😉 

To be fair I’ve mostly been single. Divorce papers were filed Oct 2020 and the only dating I’ve done was 2022, after divorce was finalized. But I get it. 

Edited January 14, 2023 by heartlikealion

[Scarlett]

1 minute ago, heartlikealion said:

To be fair I’ve mostly been single. Divorce papers were filed Oct 2020 and the only dating I’ve done was 2022, after divorce was finalized. But I get it. 

Agree. You were much smarter than I was.  But you have a little kink in your life now.  So hang in there.

[heartlikealion]

And if there was any confusion, my bf officially broke it off not me. 

I don’t hold out much hope to find a guy I really like since it’s like Duck Dynasty profiles left and right and I’m not attracted to the long unkempt looking beards, hunting, etc. 

[Soror]

I'm sorry @heartlikealion. I wish you could catch a break with something.

[Scarlett]

I have a super soft spot for you Heart because I remember the rage I felt at your Dh treating you so poorly when you first started posting many years ago.  If I was a betting person I could have made money because I could see divorce in your future because your husband was a total jackass and cared nothing for your feelings.  

[Scarlett]

Oops wrong thread.

Edited January 15, 2023 by Scarlett

[heartlikealion]

16 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

I have a super soft spot for you Heart because I remember the rage I felt at your Dh treating you so poorly when you first started posting many years ago.  If I was a betting person I could have made money because I could see divorce in your future because your husband was a total jackass and cared nothing for your feelings.  

The hive led me to Leslie Vernick and other resources and I started to see divorce as a possibility whereas before I thought there was no way out because of my Catholic upbringing. 

[Rosie_0801]

1 hour ago, heartlikealion said:

And if there was any confusion, my bf officially broke it off not me. 

I don’t hold out much hope to find a guy I really like since it’s like Duck Dynasty profiles left and right and I’m not attracted to the long unkempt looking beards, hunting, etc. 

It's the mullets keeping my teen single. May the mullet phase last another three years!

Two years feels ready to date because you feel like you've been single forever. Hindsight tends to give a different perspective though, because you can't see yet how much more you're going to mend and how much more robust you can be.

So, I am agreeing with Scarlett while completely commiserating about how much it sucks to be single.

[heartlikealion]

3 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said:

It's the mullets keeping my teen single. May the mullet phase last another three years!

Haha!!! 

when they’re cute to me they smoke or live really far. Or have 1 attractive photo out of 4. Is this the same guy?? 

my bf looked different in different photos. Longer beard in one. I took a risk lol but he had a perfect length beard and didn’t grow it out longer for me lol 

[Scarlett]

11 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

Haha!!! 

when they’re cute to me they smoke or live really far. Or have 1 attractive photo out of 4. Is this the same guy?? 

my bf looked different in different photos. Longer beard in one. I took a risk lol but he had a perfect length beard and didn’t grow it out longer for me lol 

Just the other day I told Dh if he decided to start smoking we would no longer be living together.  I love him so much but that is so much of a deal breaker for me.  He isn’t going to,start smoking…..it was some sort of exercise in what would make me divorce you.  Yes we are weird.  

[heartlikealion]

11 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

Just the other day I told Dh if he decided to start smoking we would no longer be living together.  I love him so much but that is so much of a deal breaker for me.  He isn’t going to,start smoking…..it was some sort of exercise in what would make me divorce you.  Yes we are weird.  

I deleted my profiles but on one I specified I had an issue with all kinds of smoke. So many of these guys say they don’t smoke but they mean cigs only. They vape, smoke weed, and/or cigars! 

[Scarlett]

7 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

I deleted my profiles but on one I specified I had an issue with all kinds of smoke. So many of these guys say they don’t smoke but they mean cigs only. They vape, smoke weed, and/or cigars! 

Gag.  No. Just no.  

[Shoeless]

4 hours ago, heartlikealion said:

And if there was any confusion, my bf officially broke it off not me. 

I don’t hold out much hope to find a guy I really like since it’s like Duck Dynasty profiles left and right and I’m not attracted to the long unkempt looking beards, hunting, etc. 

I hate this look so much. It seems like every dude under the age of 40 is sporting it. 

[Sneezyone]

5 hours ago, heartlikealion said:

And if there was any confusion, my bf officially broke it off not me. 

I don’t hold out much hope to find a guy I really like since it’s like Duck Dynasty profiles left and right and I’m not attracted to the long unkempt looking beards, hunting, etc. 

I appreciate the smoking bit. Not a fan of odors of any kind. Personally tho, I long for/crave a partner with facial hair. DH is SUPER hot with a beard/goatee. Le sigh. The military sucks all the joy/romance out of my life. *grumble grumble* I don't know that dating is verboten but I agree with Scarlett that it's not recommended until you get this custody/visitation mess sorted. 

Edited January 15, 2023 by Sneezyone

[maize]

1 minute ago, Sneezyone said:

I appreciate the smoking bit. Not a fan of odors of any kind. Personally tho, I long/crave a partner with facial hair. DH is SUPER hot with a beard/goatee. Le sigh. The military sucks all the joy/romance out of my life. *grumble grumble*

Is he close to retirement? Maybe there is change in the air...

[Sneezyone]

4 minutes ago, maize said:

Is he close to retirement? Maybe there is change in the air...

Lord have mercy!! I WISH!!! He's still going... June will be the fifth anniversary of his retirement eligibility.

Edited January 15, 2023 by Sneezyone

[marbel]

I'm sorry Heart. I know it's so hard to be lonely.  I was mostly alone for 12 years after my divorce. I did date some, and had some weird relationships with the wrong kind of guys. (Like, calling at midnight to come over but never wanting to go out together; I know there's a name for that now but there wasn't then. 😄) This was well before dating apps but I used personal ads a bit, ugh. 

I know social things are hard where you are but try to focus on your kids and your own life for now.  Scarlett and Rosie are right! 

And, if you do get back to dating apps, don't worry so much about the photos. Seriously, I believe people get better looking the better you know/like them. And conversely, I have known some men who seemed gorgeous at first meeting, but as their true personality came through the good looks faded. 

[katilac]

14 hours ago, Sneezyone said:

I don't know that dating is verboten but I agree with Scarlett that it's not recommended until you get this custody/visitation mess sorted. 

It could take years and years to get sorted. It's been over two years already, 

[heartlikealion]

1 hour ago, katilac said:

It could take years and years to get sorted. It's been over two years already, 

for real. I think I’ll be in and out of legal crap for years to come. 

[Scarlett]

54 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

for real. I think I’ll be in and out of legal crap for years to come. 

Maybe not.  Your son is 14 right?  4 years to legal adulthood.  
 

edited to add…I don’t mean you should wait until they are legal adults before you start dating.  But you are in the thick of it right now.  I think things will calm down soon.  
Have you asked if it is possible to get a judge to order that he not leave the school district as long as he has custody?  I see people have that in their plan all of the time but I am not sure if that is mutual agreement or a judge’s order.  
 

If you could get it in an order that he can’t move you would at least know moving to where he is now would not be a wasted effort.  

Edited January 15, 2023 by Scarlett

[Terabith]

34 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

Maybe not.  Your son is 14 right?  4 years to legal adulthood.  

But her daughter is…8?  

[Scarlett]

2 minutes ago, Terabith said:

But her daughter is…8?  

See my edit above….

[Scarlett]

Also, Heart what was the deal with him saying you two just need to follow the order and meet half way? Is he trying to say you can’t go stay with your dad which would mean kids don’t have to travel all weekend.

[heartlikealion]

I don’t know what age matters in my state. Child support is til 21, though. Ds might live with dad through community college meaning dd might want to stay there for years to come. 

Settlement says we meet halfway. He’s trying to go by that. He wants me to meet him halfway at 5 or 6pm Friday night. I don’t know what I should do. That means leaving during the work day. Which I can do… I’d work from my office that day. But still inconvenient. I pointed out to him that settlement also gives me Thursdays but that’s messed up now. 

He’s been giving her OTC motion sickness medicine but the pediatrician isn’t the one that gave him the dose he’s using. Probably his buddy online that’s a NP. I know the OTC stuff is for ages 12 and up. He’s been cutting it in half. The dr prescription we had was $$$ and didn’t work for dd. You must take it like 30 min before the drive and he intends to get her at 3 from school and drive straight to our halfway point. No time for the medicine to kick in til later.

Yes, dd is 8. 
 

I am not confident I want to restrict the school district. A lot of factors can come into play. However I feel like some restrictions should be outlined. If my lawyer ever responds!!! 

[heartlikealion]

9 hours ago, marbel said:

I'm sorry Heart. I know it's so hard to be lonely.  I was mostly alone for 12 years after my divorce. I did date some, and had some weird relationships with the wrong kind of guys. (Like, calling at midnight to come over but never wanting to go out together; I know there's a name for that now but there wasn't then. 😄) This was well before dating apps but I used personal ads a bit, ugh. 

I know social things are hard where you are but try to focus on your kids and your own life for now.  Scarlett and Rosie are right! 

And, if you do get back to dating apps, don't worry so much about the photos. Seriously, I believe people get better looking the better you know/like them. And conversely, I have known some men who seemed gorgeous at first meeting, but as their true personality came through the good looks faded. 

I do need to worry about the photos lol it’s so disappointing and awkward to drive 45 min to be like yeah this is definitely not a match. This one guy that had my info asked to continue talking even though I said I’m not dating and deleting my apps. I agreed to meet him today to bowl. His photo on the app wasn’t great but no crazy facial hair. Met in person today after driving an hr. He had some facial hair and kinda sloppy appearance. No attraction on my end. Bowling alley was overbooked so he suggested the nearby park. An hour awkward walk through park. My gut was saying a day or 2 ago you’re not attracted but I gave it a shot. I said it wasn’t a date but he said maybe there would be a spark so I know he was holding out hope. My bf was a rare cutie for my age group online (wasn’t gray, had full head of hair). Sigh. 

[regentrude]

25 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

I do need to worry about the photos lol it’s so disappointing and awkward to drive 45 min to be like yeah this is definitely not a match. This one guy that had my info asked to continue talking even though I said I’m not dating and deleting my apps. I agreed to meet him today to bowl. His photo on the app wasn’t great but no crazy facial hair. Met in person today after driving an hr. He had some facial hair and kinda sloppy appearance. No attraction on my end. 

Why don't you video chat for a few days before meeting in person???

[heartlikealion]

3 minutes ago, regentrude said:

Why don't you video chat for a few days before meeting in person???

I usually do but you can’t see their whole body and sometimes it’s not a great facial view either. The guy I was supposed to go to dinner with didn’t point camera directly frontal for example. Or they are a different body type than you’d expect but you can’t see below the neck. 

everything is awkward no matter the approach lol 

[heartlikealion]

I’m debating driving to the coast early so I can just meet dd after school Thursday (technically still my visitation). 

There are some issues though. My girlfriend that has a daughter at dd’s school also has to coparent and won’t have her dd this weekend. If she did, I’d consider asking to stay there with dd. In exchange for her hospitality I’d help clean her home. I know she’s overwhelmed and hardly home. I wish I had a nonjudgemental friend to do that for me when I was in the thick of it. Last visit she got her ex to swap visit days for our girls and we got them together. It was nice. We hung out at an indoor pool and her house. She has a few kids and some are quite young so staying overnight would not be the best very often (youngest two kept waking up crying/fussing when I was there). 

My neighbor has a key to check on my cat but I don’t want to impose every other weekend! My cat hides but this way the litter box is checked. I put out water/food feeders. But then the food gets stale. Sigh. 

So I don’t know what to do. 

I did realize that duh, staying with a friend isn’t practical unless that friend also has room/is ok with dd sleeping there. That would be Wed night through Sat night or Friday & Sat night depending on when I drove down. I leave leave town Sun nights if I’ve had enough sleep to drive 6-10pm. Last time I got home at 10:30 pm (have to make at least one pit stop usually — gas or potty break). 

Help me decide what makes the most sense, if you want. 

I might suck it up and drive to my dad’s Wed night. Until I get a legal “ok” it’s probably best I don’t ask my dad to meet dd at the bus stop. He’s actually not on the school list yet, either so he definitely can’t do car pick up line and I have the car placard. 

What a mess!! 

My last email was sent like a week ago asking what my lawyer would do if he handled this case. Crickets. 

Can’t afford another retainer fee. 

Golden rule - he who has the gold makes the rules. That’s how these legal battles feel. 

Edited January 16, 2023 by heartlikealion

[Scarlett]

@heartlikealion I think right now just go and spend as much time as you can with your dd. Whatever has to happen right now doesn’t have to happen permanently. 
 

I am not clear if there are two girlfriends on the coast or just one that you might could stay with.

One thing I am seeing is single mothers deciding to move in together to save on expenses and have some emotional support to raise their kids.  Is that an option with your friend on the coast?  I know that is not something you would do immediately since you are waiting to see where your ex lands…but it is a thought.  
 

I am sure the cat will be fine while you are gone. 

[heartlikealion]

1 minute ago, Scarlett said:

@heartlikealion I think right now just go and spend as much time as you can with your dd. Whatever has to happen right now doesn’t have to happen permanently. 
 

I am not clear if there are two girlfriends on the coast or just one that you might could stay with.

One thing I am seeing is single mothers deciding to move in together to save on expenses and have some emotional support to raise their kids.  Is that an option with your friend on the coast?  I know that is not something you would do immediately since you are waiting to see where your ex lands…but it is a thought.  
 

I am sure the cat will be fine while you are gone. 

My cat was visibly sad/upset imo last time I left town. I was gone I think Wed night to Sun night. The neighbor popped in but they never interacted. I know it sounds silly, but cats do get lonely and it's not advised to leave them more than like 48 hours ideally. I personally try not to stretch past 3 days usually. But I'll do it and ask the neighbor to pop in if necessary.

I just have the one girlfriend. I have considered trying to live with her temporarily, however, I think I'd get very little sleep as the two youngest are demanding and cry etc. One is 15 months old and the other is 2? Also the very little one tends to get sick all the time (RSV, etc). He ran a fever the night I was there. I know inevitably if I lived there I'd end up dealing with diaper changes etc. and I actively avoid taking sitter jobs with that age range. Yes, I'd do it if I needed to. Apparently we don't currently have matching weekends with our oldest children so dd wouldn't even benefit from me staying there. She might see the oldest child (girl) on Thursday nights, but not any weekends. My friend did start blowing her vape smoke outside I noticed last visit. But yeah, weekends that don't align with the girls + crying/fussing/young babies doesn't have me revved up to move in. 

I'll probably have to drive to the coast Wed night this week and stay with my dad Wed night through Sun night again. Ugh. 

I'm going to google prices again for apartments etc. in neighboring towns but last time I did that it was pretty hopeless. I can apply to other jobs but I need to crunch numbers to see the min. I need to make to live comfortably on my own. I'm worried that a pay raise + higher rent will only cancel each other out and I'll just scramble to make ends meet. 

[Harriet Vane]

Re your lawyer

He needs two things from you:

--Repeated attempts to contact. If he doesn't respond within 48 hours, then you contact again. 

--Firm wording that this must be filed after you talk together briefly. In other words, it's not just something to discuss. It's something that he needs to DO. 

 

[Scarlett]

4 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

My cat was visibly sad/upset imo last time I left town. I was gone I think Wed night to Sun night. The neighbor popped in but they never interacted. I know it sounds silly, but cats do get lonely and it's not advised to leave them more than like 48 hours ideally. I personally try not to stretch past 3 days usually. But I'll do it and ask the neighbor to pop in if necessary.

I just have the one girlfriend. I have considered trying to live with her temporarily, however, I think I'd get very little sleep as the two youngest are demanding and cry etc. One is 15 months old and the other is 2? Also the very little one tends to get sick all the time (RSV, etc). He ran a fever the night I was there. I know inevitably if I lived there I'd end up dealing with diaper changes etc. and I actively avoid taking sitter jobs with that age range. Yes, I'd do it if I needed to. Apparently we don't currently have matching weekends with our oldest children so dd wouldn't even benefit from me staying there. She might see the oldest child (girl) on Thursday nights, but not any weekends. My friend did start blowing her vape smoke outside I noticed last visit. But yeah, weekends that don't align with the girls + crying/fussing/young babies doesn't have me revved up to move in. 

I'll probably have to drive to the coast Wed night this week and stay with my dad Wed night through Sun night again. Ugh. 

I'm going to google prices again for apartments etc. in neighboring towns but last time I did that it was pretty hopeless. I can apply to other jobs but I need to crunch numbers to see the min. I need to make to live comfortably on my own. I'm worried that a pay raise + higher rent will only cancel each other out and I'll just scramble to make ends meet. 

So the friend has 4 children? That might not be ideal for sure since you only have your kids every other weekend usually.  But your expenses might be really reasonable….you definitely should not pay half of expenses since she has so many more people.  
 

I think you are doing all you can right now…keep looking at all your options.  
 

But maybe living with the girlfriend temporarily might help you both if you do find a job there and decide to move.  

[heartlikealion]

6 minutes ago, Harriet Vane said:

Re your lawyer

He needs two things from you:

--Repeated attempts to contact. If he doesn't respond within 48 hours, then you contact again. 

--Firm wording that this must be filed after you talk together briefly. In other words, it's not just something to discuss. It's something that he needs to DO. 

 

I followed up with his secretary last week and she said she would tell him to call me but that he was swamped. Now it's been more days. They do this crap. Repeatedly. They all seem to be this way. Unless I have formally been served, they see no sense of urgency. I might delete this post but yes I'm waiting on that formality. How can he serve me? Balls of steel or disillusions. And at this point there isn't a rock solid request of what lawyer needs to DO this second. Just what I want him to handle (ie representing my modifications and/or me if we go to court). 

[Jaybee]

I wouldn't move in with the friend. I just wouldn't. 

[heartlikealion]

6 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

So the friend has 4 children? That might not be ideal for sure since you only have your kids every other weekend usually.  But your expenses might be really reasonable….you definitely should not pay half of expenses since she has so many more people.  
 

I think you are doing all you can right now…keep looking at all your options.  
 

But maybe living with the girlfriend temporarily might help you both if you do find a job there and decide to move.  

She has a total of 3 children. Child near dd's age, 2 yr old, 15 month old. Also has a cat and two dogs. It's pretty packed there. Her youngest has a different father so is with her every weekend. 

I'm filling out a job application right now (something I look qualified for in my field that isn't too far from the kids). Pay is not disclosed. Going to speak to my dad when he gets home and discuss coming over Wed night. I will beg my landlords out of lease if I have to. They are very understanding. 

Wherever I move, I need to bring my cat. I just think I'd be better off moving to my own place (after looking at pet fee options). 

[maize]

17 hours ago, heartlikealion said:

.

 

7 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

.

I'm filling out a job application right now (something I look qualified for in my field that isn't too far from the kids). Pay is not disclosed. Going to speak to my dad when he gets home and discuss coming over Wed night. I will beg my landlords out of lease if I have to. They are very understanding. 

If you get a job offer, negotiate for the salary you need to live in the area. The job is no good to you otherwise, there is nothing at all to loose by negotiating. Start by asking at least a bit higher than what you calculate you would need.

[Harriet Vane]

19 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

I followed up with his secretary last week and she said she would tell him to call me but that he was swamped. Now it's been more days. They do this crap. Repeatedly. They all seem to be this way. Unless I have formally been served, they see no sense of urgency. I might delete this post but yes I'm waiting on that formality. How can he serve me? Balls of steel or disillusions. And at this point there isn't a rock solid request of what lawyer needs to DO this second. Just what I want him to handle (ie representing my modifications and/or me if we go to court). 

It's so frustrating, and I believe you that they are doing this. Unfortunately your only options are to continue being the squeaky wheel or get a different lawyer.

I don't understand when you say you are waiting for your ex to serve you? He's got what he wants. He moved and messed with your visitation and you have not objected legally. So there's no reason for him to serve you or drag you into court. 

The rock solid request is to request a modification in visitation: More time with kids. Ex to take on full burden of transportation. 

Edited January 16, 2023 by Harriet Vane

[heartlikealion]

1 minute ago, Harriet Vane said:

It's so frustrating, and I believe you that they are doing this. Unfortunately your only options are to continue being the squeaky wheel. 

I don't understand when you say you are waiting for your ex to serve you? He's got what he wants. He moved and messed with your visitation and you have not objected legally. So there's no reason for him to serve you or drag you into court. 

The rock solid request is to request a modification in visitation: More time with kids. Ex to take on full burden of transportation. 

I will PM you what he thinks he can serve me about. 

[Spryte]

7 minutes ago, Harriet Vane said:

It's so frustrating, and I believe you that they are doing this. Unfortunately your only options are to continue being the squeaky wheel or get a different lawyer.

I don't understand when you say you are waiting for your ex to serve you? He's got what he wants. He moved and messed with your visitation and you have not objected legally. So there's no reason for him to serve you or drag you into court. 

The rock solid request is to request a modification in visitation: More time with kids. Ex to take on full burden of transportation. 

I am confused by this, too. Now is the time for you to modify visitation, request that he take on cost of transportation, and modify the order to prevent further moves. The longer you wait, without making a move, the more it looks like you are ok with the changes. Why not have your attorney file?

[heartlikealion]

Just now, Spryte said:

I am confused by this, too. Now is the time for you to modify visitation, request that he take on cost of transportation, and modify the order to prevent further moves. The longer you wait, without making a move, the more it looks like you are ok with the changes. Why not have your attorney file?

I think he is waiting to react to me being served??? I’ll reach out again. 

[Scarlett]

27 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

I followed up with his secretary last week and she said she would tell him to call me but that he was swamped. Now it's been more days. They do this crap. Repeatedly. They all seem to be this way. Unless I have formally been served, they see no sense of urgency. I might delete this post but yes I'm waiting on that formality. How can he serve me? Balls of steel or disillusions. And at this point there isn't a rock solid request of what lawyer needs to DO this second. Just what I want him to handle (ie representing my modifications and/or me if we go to court). 

Is it possible he has decided against the bone head move of serving you? I know you got the email saying what would be in it, but if you haven’t been formally served  maybe it isn’t going to happen.  It almost seems like he did that to put you off balance so you won’t serve HIM. 
 

I agree you don’t really know what to ask for at this moment.  But maybe at least file something so you can have on record that he has messed up your visitation.  

[Spryte]

Just now, heartlikealion said:

I think he is waiting to react to me being served??? I’ll reach out again. 

You don’t have to answer me, I think I’m maybe missing some crucial big of info.

Why would you be served at all? He has what he wants. Now is when you need to serve him. 

…

Oh, wait, I see Scarlett replied while I was typing and there is clearly some other information I’m not aware of. I should bow out of this thread now, then, since there’s more to it and the info isn’t all here. Sorry!

Good luck.

[heartlikealion]

3 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

Is it possible he has decided against the bone head move of serving you? I know you got the email saying what would be in it, but if you haven’t been formally served  maybe it isn’t going to happen.  It almost seems like he did that to put you off balance so you won’t serve HIM. 
 

I agree you don’t really know what to ask for at this moment.  But maybe at least file something so you can have on record that he has messed up your visitation.  

Since the papers have dates and stamps I think they are in the system even if no one knocks on my door. But I don't know??? 

They might have tried to serve me when I was at my bf's house lol I have no idea!! 

[heartlikealion]

1 minute ago, Spryte said:

You don’t have to answer me, I think I’m maybe missing some crucial big of info.

Why would you be served at all? He has what he wants. Now is when you need to serve him. 

…

Oh, wait, I see Scarlett replied while I was typing and there is clearly some other information I’m not aware of. I should bow out of this thread now, then, since there’s more to it and the info isn’t all here. Sorry!

Good luck.

A few pages back? I said I wasn't sure what I could disclose. Because it hasn't formally happened. Anything they reference was probably from something I told them in a PM. Basically, I'm waiting on someone to knock on my door any day now. Xh thinks I'm in contempt.