Updates 2023 (job hunt etc)

[heartlikealion]

10 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

Arkansas is Mississippi's kissin' cousin. Money and "Ms./Mr. Noseypants" gets first dibs and everyone else has to take a number. It's hard to compare your experience with what one could/should expect in other parts of the country. Mississippi is a law unto itself (see Favre, Brett and water, city of Jackson). Are your family court judges elected? If so, the disparity in judgments may be even more pronounced. I wish you **so** much luck but I wouldn't get my hopes up that a judge would see the move/marriage as a significant violation. "He's married now!" makes it all OK because married=stable/right/Christian/best set up.

I’m not totally sure on how all judges are appointed but I was told that the justice court (where I had the @ss judge) was appointed because he was unopposed or something happened with the original one and he took the role with little to no experience/hoops to jump through. Soooo I don’t know. 

I wasn’t going to argue about the marriage (it’s done) but just the lack of discussion/pulling kids so far from mom and swapping schools. If marriage came up it would probably only be to say kids have had a lot of recent changes. /shrug 

The water situation is so messed up. Went out to eat the other night and restaurant couldn’t use water again but had their own supply for ice and served soda in a can. 

[heartlikealion]

Oh gosh, the kids both stay in school til 4 instead of 3 at their new schools. I feel bad for dd. That’s a long day. 

[maize]

11 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

Oh gosh, the kids both stay in school til 4 instead of 3 at their new schools. I feel bad for dd. That’s a long day. 

That is a long day!

[Dianthus]

Why did your xdh get primary custody?

[heartlikealion]

Just now, Dianthus said:

Why did your xdh get primary custody?

GAL report mostly. They said there was more stability for kids to stay in the marital home (which he got to stay in as I was not an employee and it was faculty housing) along with his abuse allegations which were all exaggerated/blown out of proportion things. I yelled. He spanked. I closed the door and dd put her fingers in the door jam (I didn’t know) and that was one of the photos he brought to court. The house was a mess but that was all mom’s fault. Stuff like that. The GAL didn’t even meet with me or visit my house after his first report! By the time of the second report ds had written an affidavit asking to live with dad. They rarely separate siblings. All things stacked against me. 
 

——-

WOW!! new bomb dropped on me. I don’t know if I’m at liberty to post yet. Terrible terrible. 

[fairfarmhand]

1 minute ago, heartlikealion said:

GAL report mostly. They said there was more stability for kids to stay in the marital home (which he got to stay in as I was not an employee and it was faculty housing) along with his abuse allegations which were all exaggerated/blown out of proportion things. I yelled. He spanked. I closed the door and dd put her fingers in the door jam (I didn’t know) and that was one of the photos he brought to court. The house was a mess but that was all mom’s fault. Stuff like that. The GAL didn’t even meet with me or visit my house after his first report! By the time of the second report ds had written an affidavit asking to live with dad. They rarely separate siblings. All things stacked against me. 
 

——-

WOW!! new bomb dropped on me. I don’t know if I’m at liberty to post yet. Terrible terrible. 

Well, so much for his “stability” 

im sorry youre having to deal with so much.

[Spryte]

I’m so sorry, Heart. 

[heartlikealion]

One piece of good news... got one legal opinion that he is in contempt regarding messing up the weekday visitation. 

[Laura Corin]

@heartlikealion I'm sorry it's so hard.

[Melissa in Australia]

Hugs

[scholastica]

I’m sorry for the things that are happening to you and your kids. It’s so hard since you have virtually no agency to influence or change a lot if it. Praying for you and that the court will finally see through him.

[heartlikealion]

I won’t be surprised if we’re back in court. But it’s too soon to know. 

[Scarlett]

1 hour ago, heartlikealion said:

GAL report mostly. They said there was more stability for kids to stay in the marital home (which he got to stay in as I was not an employee and it was faculty housing) along with his abuse allegations which were all exaggerated/blown out of proportion things. I yelled. He spanked. I closed the door and dd put her fingers in the door jam (I didn’t know) and that was one of the photos he brought to court. The house was a mess but that was all mom’s fault. Stuff like that. The GAL didn’t even meet with me or visit my house after his first report! By the time of the second report ds had written an affidavit asking to live with dad. They rarely separate siblings. All things stacked against me. 
 

——-

WOW!! new bomb dropped on me. I don’t know if I’m at liberty to post yet. Terrible terrible. 

I don’t see why you can’t post it. But I am not an attorney.  I am really beginning to hate this man.  

[heartlikealion]

18 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

I don’t see why you can’t post it. But I am not an attorney.  I am really beginning to hate this man.  

I might be able to but it was just a heads up. It hasn’t happened yet. 

[thatfirstsip]

Yeah the weekday visitation becoming impossible is definitely contempt.

 

You do know that in most places you can request (demand) one change of judge at the start of a proceeding, right? Maybe ask your new lawyer about that, if she knows the local courts well and thinks it might help.

[heartlikealion]

16 minutes ago, thatfirstsip said:

Yeah the weekday visitation becoming impossible is definitely contempt.

 

You do know that in most places you can request (demand) one change of judge at the start of a proceeding, right? Maybe ask your new lawyer about that, if she knows the local courts well and thinks it might help.

We had one judge for our 2 temp hearings. The other judge never met with us since we signed a settlement. I’m guessing we’d have that guy assigned. Not sure he really delved into our case. Probably just signed off on something. 

[thatfirstsip]

Here, you can also demand a new GAL if you do it right away. If this gets serious and he gets a GAL assigned, you can ask your lawyer if you can request a different one. Your last one was not thorough and that's a shame.

[heartlikealion]

9 minutes ago, thatfirstsip said:

Here, you can also demand a new GAL if you do it right away. If this gets serious and he gets a GAL assigned, you can ask your lawyer if you can request a different one. Your last one was not thorough and that's a shame.

Sadly that one trains the others 🤦🏻‍♀️

[thatfirstsip]

Boo

GALs have a ton of power and I dislike it. They're just lawyers. 

 

[thatfirstsip]

7 hours ago, heartlikealion said:

Oh gosh, the kids both stay in school til 4 instead of 3 at their new schools. I feel bad for dd. That’s a long day. 

Does it start later maybe?

[heartlikealion]

Just now, thatfirstsip said:

Does it start later maybe?

Nope. I asked ds and I saw the start time online for dd’s school.

they have teacher development days coming up so I’ll try to talk directly to the school about bus stops or whatever. And I’ll bring proof they are my kids in case the school is hesitant to release info to me. 

[heartlikealion]

15 minutes ago, thatfirstsip said:

Boo

GALs have a ton of power and I dislike it. They're just lawyers. 

 

Yes in my state they are lawyers that had a little extra training. In some areas they are not lawyers. 

[katilac]

22 hours ago, heartlikealion said:

Sadly that one trains the others 🤦🏻‍♀️

Another one still might be better, though. They won't all necessarily agree with all of the specifics of how they were trained, particularly as they gain their own experience. 

I know that I've been trained by many people that I stopped listening to as soon as possible!

[Faith-manor]

2 hours ago, katilac said:

Another one still might be better, though. They won't all necessarily agree with all of the specifics of how they were trained, particularly as they gain their own experience. 

I know that I've been trained by many people that I stopped listening to as soon as possible!

LOL, I was thinking the exact same thing. Like the time I got out of a music methods class at the end of the semester and thought, "If I adopt his Ghengis Khan approach to teaching youngest, the kids will bludgeon to death with their instruments!"

Can't hurt to try if the last GAL is a twat. You probably can't end up doing worse.

[Terabith]

27 minutes ago, Faith-manor said:

LOL, I was thinking the exact same thing. Like the time I got out of a music methods class at the end of the semester and thought, "If I adopt his Ghengis Khan approach to teaching youngest, the kids will bludgeon to death with their instruments!"

Can't hurt to try if the last GAL is a twat. You probably can't end up doing worse.

I'm kind of the firm opinion that things can always get worse.

[heartlikealion]

They can always get worse and yet some days I tell myself otherwise. 

I don’t know if the GAL is supposed to stay involved or not moving forward. It was court ordered in the past. 

At this point I’ve decided to drive the kids to my dad’s Tues afternoon so we’re not rushed to get settled in before school begins Thurs. This means there’s a slim chance I’ll have any legal meetings this coming week but we’ll see. It may not matter. 

[Spryte]

2 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

They can always get worse and yet some days I tell myself otherwise. 

I don’t know if the GAL is supposed to stay involved or not moving forward. It was court ordered in the past. 

At this point I’ve decided to drive the kids to my dad’s Tues afternoon so we’re not rushed to get settled in before school begins Thurs. This means there’s a slim chance I’ll have any legal meetings this coming week but we’ll see. It may not matter. 

They start at the new school on Thurs? From your Dad’s? But you will be able to be there to get them ready? Somehow my brain is not working to understand the logistics. I feel like I’m missing something. But — if they are starting the new school and you will be there, if that’s right, I hope you can connect with their teachers and the school.

[heartlikealion]

3 minutes ago, Spryte said:

They start at the new school on Thurs? From your Dad’s? But you will be able to be there to get them ready? Somehow my brain is not working to understand the logistics. I feel like I’m missing something. But — if they are starting the new school and you will be there, if that’s right, I hope you can connect with their teachers and the school.

Because the settlement says I keep the kids second half of winter break til school resumes, I’m going to deliver them to school rather than to xh. We will all sleep at my dad’s and I’ll try to speak with the schools either via phone or in person as I should have time if they insist I come in person Wed. It’s a teacher development day but maybe a secretary will be on site?? I’m not sure. 

[Scarlett]

2 minutes ago, Spryte said:

They start at the new school on Thurs? From your Dad’s? But you will be able to be there to get them ready? Somehow my brain is not working to understand the logistics. I feel like I’m missing something. But — if they are starting the new school and you will be there, if that’s right, I hope you can connect with their teachers and the school.

Her dad lives in the same city as where XH just moved. 
 

@heartlikealionnit sure if you will be able to take them to school Thursday but even if you can’t I would go meet teachers and principle. 

[heartlikealion]

It’s not super convenient as I have work but the plan is to bring my laptop and do most of my driving outside business hours. My boss is very understanding. 

[heartlikealion]

5 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

Her dad lives in the same city as where XH just moved. 
 

@heartlikealionnit sure if you will be able to take them to school Thursday but even if you can’t I would go meet teachers and principle. 

Yeah I’ll either get them to bus stops or schools. 

[heartlikealion]

He called to speak to the kids. Now he’s saying they aren’t even enrolled in school in his new city. He said “we (he and I) haven’t discussed switching schools.” Ummm but he already moved!! And told the kids their new schools. He said he’s waiting on his lawyer to give a final answer tomorrow. So it’s slightly possible kids will remain at the current school??? I said ds doesn’t even have his uniform here. He said he’ll bring it if necessary. 

Mental whiplash. 

[Spryte]

And this is stability? 🙄

So sorry. It sounds like his attorney might have let him know this is smelling like contempt, and he could have issues as a result.

Hoping you and the kids are having a good time together, despite all of this! Changing schools mid-year is stressful, so they must be feeling it, too. 

[heartlikealion]

2 minutes ago, Spryte said:

And this is stability? 🙄

So sorry. It sounds like his attorney might have let him know this is smelling like contempt, and he could have issues as a result.

Hoping you and the kids are having a good time together, despite all of this! Changing schools mid-year is stressful, so they must be feeling it, too. 

Lol @ stability. 

my boyfriend had a great idea for me to get into Roblox since that’s one of dd’s pastimes. Ds plays, too. So I’m going to have them help me set up a profile tomorrow and we can play together from afar sometimes. I just want to stay connected. 

[Spryte]

9 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

Lol @ stability. 

my boyfriend had a great idea for me to get into Roblox since that’s one of dd’s pastimes. Ds plays, too. So I’m going to have them help me set up a profile tomorrow and we can play together from afar sometimes. I just want to stay connected. 

That’s a great idea. My DD and her BFF stayed connected when things were really locked down for Covid reasons via Minecraft. They actually video chat while playing, and ended up with huge worlds—like a tapestry of their time. And just to throw this out there: they also video chat while crafting, or even playing dolls. 
 

I have no idea if this will matter to anyone but you, but the idea that your kids don’t know where they will be going to school in a few days sounds pretty darn unstable. It may not matter, but maybe make a note of it for your attorney. They can do with it what they will.

[thatfirstsip]

On 1/1/2023 at 7:34 PM, heartlikealion said:

He called to speak to the kids. Now he’s saying they aren’t even enrolled in school in his new city. He said “we (he and I) haven’t discussed switching schools.” Ummm but he already moved!! And told the kids their new schools. He said he’s waiting on his lawyer to give a final answer tomorrow. So it’s slightly possible kids will remain at the current school??? I said ds doesn’t even have his uniform here. He said he’ll bring it if necessary. 

Mental whiplash. 

 

Edited January 9, 2023 by thatfirstsip

[thatfirstsip]

n

Edited January 9, 2023 by thatfirstsip

[ktgrok]

55 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

He called to speak to the kids. Now he’s saying they aren’t even enrolled in school in his new city. He said “we (he and I) haven’t discussed switching schools.” Ummm but he already moved!! And told the kids their new schools. He said he’s waiting on his lawyer to give a final answer tomorrow. So it’s slightly possible kids will remain at the current school??? I said ds doesn’t even have his uniform here. He said he’ll bring it if necessary. 

Mental whiplash. 

Um, no, you didn't discuss it, since you didn't KNOW he was moving. But he can't exactly expect them to drive 8 hours a day to commute for school, either. So??

[heartlikealion]

He says he’s still moving out of the old place so I don’t know how long he has access to it. Maybe he plans to stay there part of Jan if kids must attend school locally??? I have no idea! 

But 4 hrs away to school if he signed a lease in new city. Definitely not practical to have signed a lease yet. Why didn’t he just bunk with his dad til he spoke to his lawyer? His dad probably said too many people lol 

[heartlikealion]

1 hour ago, Spryte said:

And this is stability? 🙄

So sorry. It sounds like his attorney might have let him know this is smelling like contempt, and he could have issues as a result.

Hoping you and the kids are having a good time together, despite all of this! Changing schools mid-year is stressful, so they must be feeling it, too. 

Yeah it’s been pretty mellow. Dd and I played a bit today, I watched some of this documentary series with ds this week. He watches this show about rival companies and their beginnings lol Last night was Swanson vs Stouffer’s. Tonight was Popsicle vs Good Humor. 

Edited January 2, 2023 by heartlikealion

[fairfarmhand]

45 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

Yeah it’s been pretty mellow. Dd and I played a bit today, I watched some of this documentary series with ds this week. He watches this show about rival companies and their beginnings lol Last night was Swanson vs Stouffer’s. Tonight was Popsicle vs Good Humor. 

That actually sounds like an interesting television series. At least I think so. I love stuff like that.

[heartlikealion]

22 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

That actually sounds like an interesting television series. At least I think so. I love stuff like that.

The Food That Built America (on Hulu and cable tv)

[BusyMom5]

We love that series!  There are several other  XXX that built America.  My boys also loved the cars one!  

I agree with the pervious posters- do not agree to this move or changing of schools and do not give up your time!  Hes probably figured out he screwed up, so he's trying to rewrite the story of what is going on.  

[heartlikealion]

Yes, I think you ladies are correct. 

[fairfarmhand]

I think your ex had it in his head that he could do whatever and you’d have to deal. And then he talked to someone and realized how much this could blow up in his face. So now he’s trying t back track. But if he’s already been moving his crap to the new place he’s really hosed. 

[heartlikealion]

21 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

I think your ex had it in his head that he could do whatever and you’d have to deal. And then he talked to someone and realized how much this could blow up in his face. So now he’s trying t back track. But if he’s already been moving his crap to the new place he’s really hosed. 

Yup. And I can’t imagine he found a month to month lease so he’s probably committed to at least 6 months at the new place.

[fairfarmhand]

I’m holding my breath and not trying to get too excited but I really love the mental scrambling that your ex is likely having to do to try to weasel his way out of this. He’s gotten it all his own way for so long that it seems that he forgot that he does have some legal obligations. And I’m hoping that after making all the arrangements and everything, this idiot scheme will make HIS life a complicated hassle. It’s about time.

[Scarlett]

1 minute ago, fairfarmhand said:

I’m holding my breath and not trying to get too excited but I really love the mental scrambling that your ex is likely having to do to try to weasel his way out of this. He’s gotten it all his own way for so long that it seems that he forgot that he does have some legal obligations. And I’m hoping that after making all the arrangements and everything, this idiot scheme will make HIS life a complicated hassle. It’s about time.

This makes me laugh so hard.  Here is hoping he has some consequences for his actions. Finally. 

[heartlikealion]

A recent allegation has been brought forward and I can totally disprove it. I don’t know where his info comes from. 

[Scarlett]

3 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

A recent allegation has been brought forward and I can totally disprove it. I don’t know where his info comes from. 

Girl….pm me.