Your relationships with your siblings

[Cordelia]

I am fairly close to all of my siblings. One relationship has to have more boundaries due to sibling's behavior, but it's okay. 

[J-rap]

I have two siblings and we feel a very strong, loving bond toward each other.  When I was growing up, I was closer to my brother.  My sister was much older so our relationship was very different then.  As young adults we all lived in different parts of the country (and sometimes around the world) for most of our children's growing up years so we didn't get to see each other much, but we kept in touch as we could and loved our time when together, laughing and catching up.  Now we're all within an hour and a half of each other!  My sister has become one of my very best friends;  we've really grown alike over the years and enjoy each other's company so much.  My brother and I don't get to see each other as often and don't see eye to eye on some important things, but we love each other dearly and have each other's back.

[Lady Florida.]

I have one sibling. We were partially estranged for a while due to his lifestyle. After our mother died his lifestyle changed for the better and we are more in touch. We're not close but would be there for each other if needed. We have contact every few months and see each other occasionally, usually at the birthday party of one of his grandchildren. I'm very close to my adult niece, his only child and my only blood niece (no nephews obv..). 

While I'm not close with his wife we're on good terms. She and I mostly "talk" on facebook.

 

[Miss Mousie]

I'm the youngest ... [edited for privacy] there is rarely if ever any drama.

Edited May 13, 2022 by Miss Mousie

[Hannah]

On 5/11/2022 at 8:12 PM, mominco said:

My Middle sister(widowed with 2 adult kids) passed away 3 weeks ago after a brief illness which was very unexpected. I was the last person she spoke to and we had a wonderful conversation. We used to talk everyday. 

I am sorry for your loss @mominco.  You must be missing her dearly.

[mominco]

54 minutes ago, Hannah said:

I am sorry for your loss @mominco.  You must be missing her dearly.

Thank you,I am.I used to text her while drinking coffee and spoke everyday before lunch so I still wake up thinking I need to text her. I am just glad she is not in pain anymore.

[bookbard]

I have six siblings. We all get along pretty well but I am definitely closer to my 2 younger sisters than 2 older sisters; we are more similar I think. The 2 eldest siblings grew up in a really different time, it feels like. But all of us feel like we are survivors of our weird parenting/religious upbringing. None of us are religious now, although my parents still are. 

[KungFuPanda]

We’re a mess. I’m estranged from one brother because I do not have the bandwidth to deal with his chaos. I hate to play the disabled kid card, but i just don’t have the emotional energy to deal with my brother and raise my son. My brother is just too much . . . everything and I can’t. He has slowly alienated every sibling, I was just the first to tap out. 
 

I am closer to my sister and my other brother, even though they have very little to do with one another. I talk to my sister on a messenger thread with my mom almost every day. Mom talks to everybody.  
 

There is no expectation to have identical relationships with different people. That seems weird and impossible. I’m not sure people work that way. 

[wintermom]

On 5/11/2022 at 10:24 AM, theelfqueen said:

Assuming you and your siblings are all adults.

Do you feel that you have equal/similar relationships with each of your own siblings? Do you feel that is an expectation in your family dynamic?  Do you feel that you are closer to one of your siblings than another? Do your siblings' spouses impact your relationship with your siblings? Talk to me about your siblings. 

What's supposed to be the purpose of starting this thread? Just curious. You didn't offer any description of your own sibling relationships. Is it like some kind of 'ice breaker' game? It's pretty personal and potentially very sensitive. Will you ever return to this thread? 

[theelfqueen]

I'm processing some feelings about my relationships with my siblings and was getting a feel for the kinds of relationships people have with theirs. I've discussed mine here before. It's coming to a bit of a head at the moment. I left it open ended because I didnt want to color people's responses with my own situation. 

My older brother and I are not close. I generally consider a large part of that  to do with his spouse. A few years ago she was angry with me for a variety of things and among them it came out that she thinks it is horrible that I have a closer relationship with my younger brother... and so do my kids - to the extent that my younger brother was the best man at my Oldest son's wedding - they are very close. Among other things - she answers my brothers' phone -so I cant talk to him even if I wanted to. He doesn't text and neither of us is really on social media. 

We are all expected.to attend a family event together for the first time in a long time (I quit attending events at my parents home due to my asthma and their smoking ).and I'm struggling with how to relate to both Older Brother and SIL after basically not interacting with them in ~3 years... and with some other family drama going on. It helps to see a spectrum of the kinds of relationship people have with siblings and how they feel about it.  Sibling relationships vary so much from one family to the next... I stepped away yesterday because I was processing and today because I was working all day and dont have access to the boards then. 

Edited May 13, 2022 by theelfqueen

[wintermom]

@theelfqueen Sorry you're going through a difficult situation. Sibling-in-laws can certainly have a huge affect on the relationships between siblings. I've experienced it myself, and I've heard my friends describe how a sil or bil can seem to sever a relationship between siblings. With multiple relationships overlapping, and couples going through all kinds of personal drama that is often unspoken to others, misunderstandings and hurt feelings seem to be pretty common.

My brother's first wife seemed super friendly to me, and I thought she really liked me. I had no idea that she actually didn't, and worked on my brother to weaken the relationship between us. I just assumed that my brother was being a typical guy, and wasn't interested in talking on the phone when I called. This was back when there were no cell phones or email to communicate when you lived far away. 

I hope you find a way to navigate through the family event and enjoy seeing certain family members. 

 

[Laura Corin]

I have two full siblings. I get on fine with both but am closer to the younger, with whom I have more in common. I also like his wife. My eldest brother is divorced.

There was no familial expectation of great closeness as adults. My cousin recently mentioned a similar level of relationship with his siblings. My brothers and I see each other a couple of times a year but WhatsApp weekly. There has been no conflict about how Mum should be cared for.

My relationship with my half siblings is cordial but distant.