Immediate prayer needed

[Spryte]

They are so, so beautiful. 
 

I’m heartbroken for you all.

[Katy]

Really stunning couple.

People say the worst things when someone dies young. I’d warn her to substitute, “This totally sucks,” in her mind for every inappropriate thing people will say in the next few months. They don’t know what to say, everything comes out wrong, and they won’t get it until they lose someone they love, which will hopefully not happen for decades. 

[Soror]

1 minute ago, Katy said:

Really stunning couple.

People say the worst things when someone dies young. I’d warn her to substitute, “This totally sucks,” in her mind for every inappropriate thing people will say in the next few months. They don’t know what to say, everything comes out wrong, and they won’t get it until they lose someone they love, which will hopefully not happen for decades. 

Yes for sure.

Things not to say- worst so far

- we all only have so much time-its God plan

And the comments about being lucky to survive or to me as a Mom of the one that survived just heaps the guilt on more.

DD seems to be doing as well as can be expected. I'm trying. The tears keep coming. I spent a long time mowing and crying while her friend was over so I had time for myself.

 

 

 

[Ann.without.an.e]

I’m so very sorry. This is horrible and I’m praying for your family and your dd. 

[easypeasy]

I am so sorry. What an all-around wretched, tragic situation. Life is fleeting, but we certainly hope to go before our young ones. 😕 Prayers for his family - what a massive loss. And so many prayers for your daughter and your family as well. What a nightmare of a phone call to receive. Survivor’s guilt for both you and your daughter is such a complex emotion. I am just so, so sorry. 😕 She did an amazing job after the accident. I can’t even imagine. Just so sorry. 

[Eos]

So young.  I am holding you all and his family in the light.

[Scarlett]

What a stunningly beautiful couple.  
 

I am so so sorry.  This is so difficult. I don’t have any useful words.  I had a friend in school…he was actually a boyfriend and I loved him very much, but he was not right for me for many many reasons.  After I married XH, when I was 20 and my former boyfriend was 21 he was murdered.  It took me several years to get over his death.  Many people were unsympathetic to me—I am sure because I was married to someone else….so I don’t think I was able to properly grieve.  That won’t be the case for your dd of course, but it will be worse in many ways because she was with him.  What a brave girl to immediately look for a phone so she could try to save him.  
 

 

[TechWife]

I am so very sorry. Praying for your dd & his family. And for you as well. 

[Soror]

47 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

What a stunningly beautiful couple.  
 

I am so so sorry.  This is so difficult. I don’t have any useful words.  I had a friend in school…he was actually a boyfriend and I loved him very much, but he was not right for me for many many reasons.  After I married XH, when I was 20 and my former boyfriend was 21 he was murdered.  It took me several years to get over his death.  Many people were unsympathetic to me—I am sure because I was married to someone else….so I don’t think I was able to properly grieve.  That won’t be the case for your dd of course, but it will be worse in many ways because she was with him.  What a brave girl to immediately look for a phone so she could try to save him.  

How horrible, I'm so sorry, people can be so clueless 😞

15 hours ago, Dmmetler said:

Definite prayers and support here. We've been/are living this, and it's completely horrible. 

 

One suggestion-if you can, be in the room or have someone there and do calls with insurance, etc on speaker. There is just SO much that needs to be managed.

Thank you for your suggestion and hugs to your family, you have been through so much.

On 4/23/2022 at 9:23 PM, KatieInMN said:

Heartfelt sympathies to your family and his.

My DD lost a very dear guy friend in a car accident the summer they graduated. She was not with him at the time, but easily could have been. 2 other young people were in the car with him and both  died that horrible day.

It is very difficult to know how to comfort your daughter along with your own grief for the family. 
I will be praying for all of you.

I'm sorry for what your daughter went through losing her friend.

On 4/23/2022 at 5:41 PM, happi duck said:

Sorry for your loss 

Thinking of your dd.  We did not seek enough support in a similar situation and it has had a lasting impact

I'm so sorry. It is so hard to know how things will affect you down the road.

[Soror]

I slept with dd last night. We had a good talk and cry before bed and then in the middle of the night. She's had so many reach out to her. Some entirely clueless and she wish she didn't hear from (like the ex she has blocked that keeps telling her friends he "needs" to talk to her-- she broke up with him for good reason). Anyway, some of bf's good friends are going to the scene today and asked her if she wanted to go--- I think this will be bad and am discouraging it but will leave the final decision to her. I'm guessing the want to leave flowers and such. I don't know that she'll be up for going by there (thankfully it is not a road that we ever have to go down). 

I finally got some sleep myself. The guilt is so heavy. Heavy that my kid is here and "fine." Why should I be upset, evidently no one thinks I should be. No one has reached out to see how I am. I got admonishment from MIL yesterday to "be strong."  And someone told me of course she'll get through it you do what you have to do. So clueless. How deep of a pit will she fall into? We don't know. It was horribly traumatic for her. Who knows if they would have been together long term, it was young teen love. But she loved him now and that is very real to her. Even if they weren't in a relationship going through something like that is horrible enough. 

[Lady Florida.]

Oh Soror I'm so very sorry. What a heartbreaking, devastating thing for all. 

[Eos]

28 minutes ago, Soror said:

No one has reached out to see how I am

Your Boardie friends know how hard this is for you.  I'm so sorry you are not getting the in-person support you deserve.  Mom-to-mom hugs to you.

[Tiberia]

I'm so sorry for all of you, and I have been praying for your family and his family. This is so tragic, and people don't know what to do or say because nothing will make it better. People do try to say the right thing, even if it comes out wrong. Hugs to you all.

[Ausmumof3]

I am so sorry 😞 

I don’t have any words of wisdom to add but thinking of you.
 

This is a link to our road trauma group here. The info is pretty generic but adding it just in case it’s helpful - please just ignore it if it’s not what you need right now. I imagine there’s a local group that might be able to give you access to some more local specific resources, counselling etc

http://www.roadtraumasupportsa.com.au/grief.html

Edited April 25, 2022 by Ausmumof3

[Sharpie]

How absolutely devastating.  So much pain and trauma.  I will be praying for your daughter, you & family, his parents & family. I'm just so very sorry!  

[Ausmumof3]

https://www.voc.sa.gov.au/documents/Road-Trauma.pdf
 

There is also some stuff here which may possibly be helpful though the legal sections etc are obviously local, there is some sections on grief and trauma.

Again, if you feel like this is not what you need right now please ignore it.

[fairfarmhand]

So devastating for all of the families involved. I'm so sorry. And you deserve to be heartbroken and upset too. 

[Harriet Vane]

Continuing in prayer for you and your dd and the families.

[mommyoffive]

I think I would steer clear of your MIL for awhile.  The things she said when it happened and later seem like they would just be more hurtful to be around her.  I am sorry.  

Do you think seeing a therapist for you would be good too?  Or a support group?  I don't think people realize what your dd and you are going through too.  I think most people say such hurtful things or have no idea what to say when people die.  I think they would have no idea what to say to your dd other than things that are not comforting at all. 

We are here if you want to talk.  My heart is just broken for you, dd, and his family.  Your pain is real and you should be allowed to grieve and heal. 

Edited April 25, 2022 by mommyoffive

[purpleowl]

You guys have not been far from my thoughts since I first read this. ❤️ Praying for all of you. I'm sorry you have not had IRL support for yourself. I hope you will be looking for counseling for yourself as well as your DD. Your experience has also been traumatic. 

[Soror]

Now there are the rumors... She drug him out of the car (couldn't have gotten him out if she tried to- it was smashed in on his side), they were fighting at the time (no and hurtful) and drinking- absolutely no substances of any kind. He wasn't on his phone or going fast- fastest speed was 35 the whole trip.

[Katy]

9 minutes ago, Soror said:

Now there are the rumors... She drug him out of the car (couldn't have gotten him out if she tried to- it was smashed in on his side), they were fighting at the time (no and hurtful) and drinking- absolutely no substances of any kind. He wasn't on his phone or going fast- fastest speed was 35 the whole trip.

If it was smashed on his side and there was that much blood, he was probably gone within seconds of impact. Which means there was nothing that anyone could have done. That poor baby.

[Soror]

6 minutes ago, Katy said:

If it was smashed on his side and there was that much blood, he was probably gone within seconds of impact. Which means there was nothing that anyone could have done. That poor baby.

I think so. DD said she thought he was breathing but I don't think so.

[Kassia]

20 minutes ago, Soror said:

Now there are the rumors... She drug him out of the car (couldn't have gotten him out if she tried to- it was smashed in on his side), they were fighting at the time (no and hurtful) and drinking- absolutely no substances of any kind. He wasn't on his phone or going fast- fastest speed was 35 the whole trip.

I'm so sorry.  That just makes a horrifying devastating situation even worse. 

[catz]

I am horrified there are rumors and I'm even more horrified they are getting back to you.  I'm so sorry.  ❤️  

[wintermom]

I am so sorry, Soror. Big hugs to you and your dd. 

Why do people dwell on those kinds of horrible rumors and stories? I've seen it with many different tragedies. Usually they're from people who know nothing about it. So frustrating to hear. 

Hold your family close, be patient and gentle with yourself. Many thoughts and prayers heading your way 🙏 

[fairfarmhand]

1 hour ago, Soror said:

Now there are the rumors... She drug him out of the car (couldn't have gotten him out if she tried to- it was smashed in on his side), they were fighting at the time (no and hurtful) and drinking- absolutely no substances of any kind. He wasn't on his phone or going fast- fastest speed was 35 the whole trip.

 

44 minutes ago, wintermom said:

I am so sorry, Soror. Big hugs to you and your dd. 

Why do people dwell on those kinds of horrible rumors and stories? I've seen it with many different tragedies. Usually they're from people who know nothing about it. So frustrating to hear. 

Hold your family close, be patient and gentle with yourself. Many thoughts and prayers heading your way 🙏 

Ugh. I hate this for your dd and your family. 

She probably wants to stay off of social media until things settle down.  It will only be more upsetting. I don't know why people behave so badly during tragic times.

[Ann.without.an.e]

Feelings aren’t either-or nor are they easy to define. It’s normal to feel all sorts of feelings, to be crushed at the loss but also thankful to still have your dd and to feel them both, strongly, at the same time. 
You’re allowed to grieve too. It’s easy for the focus to be only on your dd and her grief but then you will crash because you’ve not allowed yourself to grieve. This is also a loss for you and ofc you’re worried about your DD’s mental health on top of the grief. If you want to continue to be there for your dd then you need to make sure you cry all the tears and feel all the pain that you feel, not just the pain you feel for your dd’s situation (which is huge). This was a young man you treasured, a person you obviously were close to, someone that you possibly envisioned staying in your life for a long time, his presence came with some possible hopes and dreams of a life with him and your dd? You have so many things to grieve too. When you cry with your dd, it’s ok to cry for those things too and for your own loss. That doesn’t make you selfish and don’t let anyone tell you that you have nothing to cry about just because your dd is alive. That’s bull%*#+

I’ve prayed often for you and your dd and this boys family. This is so incredibly tragic for all involved. 

Edited April 25, 2022 by Ann.without.an.e

[Dmmetler]

18 hours ago, Soror said:

Yes for sure.

Things not to say- worst so far

- we all only have so much time-its God plan

And the comments about being lucky to survive or to me as a Mom of the one that survived just heaps the guilt on more.

DD seems to be doing as well as can be expected. I'm trying. The tears keep coming. I spent a long time mowing and crying while her friend was over so I had time for myself.

 

 

 

I am about ready to throw something at the next person who says "your mom was a saint" or "she's with Jesus now". The worst when my son died was "God needed more little angels" 

 

The best response when my son died was one of my 6th graders, who said "Mrs. M, I heard about your baby..." And then exploded with "you must be PISSED!!!" And immediately clapped her hands over her mouth because she couldn't believe she had just said that to a teacher. It was the most natural, unfiltered...and honestly, comforting thing anyone said, because it allowed me to admit not just to grief, but to anger. 

 

My husband and I have taken turns verbalizing that "this totally sucks" to each other in the last four months. Because, yeah, it does. It is so stinkin' unfair, and so horribly hard whether you are the victim or the survivor. Being allowed to admit to just grief, and not grief, and anger, and guilt, mixed with relief that you're alive (or that your loved one is), followed by guilt for feeling relief....etc. 

[Grace Hopper]

3 hours ago, Soror said:

Now there are the rumors... She drug him out of the car (couldn't have gotten him out if she tried to- it was smashed in on his side), they were fighting at the time (no and hurtful) and drinking- absolutely no substances of any kind. He wasn't on his phone or going fast- fastest speed was 35 the whole trip.

Oh no. That’s abominable. Any clue about the source? I hope they’re not intentionally malicious. 

In addition to blurting out stupid things just to have something to say, people often try to rationalize the situation when tragedy strikes. There “must be” some bigger badder explanation because if it’s just a simple accident, it could happen to them and their young people, too. And that’s terrifying. 
 

I do hope counseling for you and your dd will be something you can avail yourselves of soon. Obviously for your dd, but also for you, who are most definitely grieving not just one loss of life, but one possible future for your dd (hope that makes sense). You will need to be by her side as she walks this, but not like a cold steel rod. Scripture tells us to weep with those who weep. Anyone expecting you to already have your tears dried needs a heart transplant. 
 

(((((((soooooo many hugs)))))))))

[Laura Corin]

@Soror I'm so sorry to hear about the rumours on top of everything else.

[cjzimmer1]

5 hours ago, Soror said:

Now there are the rumors... She drug him out of the car (couldn't have gotten him out if she tried to- it was smashed in on his side), they were fighting at the time (no and hurtful) and drinking- absolutely no substances of any kind. He wasn't on his phone or going fast- fastest speed was 35 the whole trip.

I'm so so so sorry she has to deal with this on top of everything else.  My sister and I were in an accident on the way to high school.  While there were injuries it wasn't life threatening and the vehicle was totaled.  I went back to school 3-4 days later (my sister was out about a week and a half).  I had so many people come up to me and say I heard "whatever strange and bizarre thought they had about why the accident happened" but ultimately in boiled down to an accusation that my sister was a bad driver and that's why we got in an accident.  It was an empty country road, absolutely no one witnessed it and yet they were all certain they "knew" the truth and I was just lying to cover it up.  I'm not sure if that hurt worse or the numerous people I would encounter in stores who "joked" about my black eye being from a boyfriend.  Yeah so not helpful.  All I can say is just keep being the positive voice in her ear that all the stuff others say is not worth her time or effort to even respond.  She knows the truth and other than his family, no one deserves even one ounce of her mental space to respond. 

[BusyMom5]

Good grief!  Things are hard enough.   My heart goes out to you, as a mom, trying to navigate this with her.  

[mommyoffive]

6 hours ago, Soror said:

Now there are the rumors... She drug him out of the car (couldn't have gotten him out if she tried to- it was smashed in on his side), they were fighting at the time (no and hurtful) and drinking- absolutely no substances of any kind. He wasn't on his phone or going fast- fastest speed was 35 the whole trip.

Ugh.  High School is the worst.  That has to be so hurtful to hear.   Can she stay home a few days?  Not sure if that would mentally be helpful or not.  

[Grace Hopper]

6 hours ago, Soror said:

I think so. DD said she thought he was breathing but I don't think so.

There were likely internal injuries she could have done absolutely *nothing* to render aid for, even if she tied a dozen tourniquets and rendered CPR. I hope her guilt will eventually be lessened with the understanding that she did respond appropriately. 

[LifeLovePassion]

I'm so very sorry. What an awful situation. Thinking of you during this difficult time.

[DreamerGirl]

How horrible.

So, so very sorry.

((Hugs))

[SKL]

I'm so sorry.  Praying for you all.

[*****]

Praying for all of you during this terrible time.  Keep mowing that lawn or start a garden  to dig in just so you can have time for yourself to cry. I totally get that and you need time for yourself. There is so much to process here.  One doesn't even need to know a person very closely to grieve for them. We all feel your pain and grieve for you because we can imagine what your or the BF's family is going through. Holding you in prayer.

[Soror]

We went out of town to shop for funeral attire. It was a good to have some distraction for her. We visited the crash site on our own today. Thankfully we were the only ones there at the time but kids have started a little memorial area for him.

[Soror]

13 hours ago, Dmmetler said:

I am about ready to throw something at the next person who says "your mom was a saint" or "she's with Jesus now". The worst when my son died was "God needed more little angels" 

 

The best response when my son died was one of my 6th graders, who said "Mrs. M, I heard about your baby..." And then exploded with "you must be PISSED!!!" And immediately clapped her hands over her mouth because she couldn't believe she had just said that to a teacher. It was the most natural, unfiltered...and honestly, comforting thing anyone said, because it allowed me to admit not just to grief, but to anger. 

 

My husband and I have taken turns verbalizing that "this totally sucks" to each other in the last four months. Because, yeah, it does. It is so stinkin' unfair, and so horribly hard whether you are the victim or the survivor. Being allowed to admit to just grief, and not grief, and anger, and guilt, mixed with relief that you're alive (or that your loved one is), followed by guilt for feeling relief....etc. 

(Hugs) yes people saying things to imply it is somehow for the best. Sigh. I'm sorry. After all the tragedy you have been through you must be really out of patience. People have a misguided notion it helps. I know it does for some,  bf's dad mentioned some cliche to me. Whatever is helpful for them- if it brings them any peace I'm glad. We just can't know that for someone else. 

We've done a lot of talking, no rationalizing or dismissing or explaining. It is just horrible. There is no good in this. I wish I could take it from her but I can't and she has a special pain being there.

11 hours ago, cjzimmer1 said:

I'm so so so sorry she has to deal with this on top of everything else.  My sister and I were in an accident on the way to high school.  While there were injuries it wasn't life threatening and the vehicle was totaled.  I went back to school 3-4 days later (my sister was out about a week and a half).  I had so many people come up to me and say I heard "whatever strange and bizarre thought they had about why the accident happened" but ultimately in boiled down to an accusation that my sister was a bad driver and that's why we got in an accident.  It was an empty country road, absolutely no one witnessed it and yet they were all certain they "knew" the truth and I was just lying to cover it up.  I'm not sure if that hurt worse or the numerous people I would encounter in stores who "joked" about my black eye being from a boyfriend.  Yeah so not helpful.  All I can say is just keep being the positive voice in her ear that all the stuff others say is not worth her time or effort to even respond.  She knows the truth and other than his family, no one deserves even one ounce of her mental space to respond. 

Yes- people come up with crazy stuff. DD hasn't heard any jokes yet that is just in really bad taste- I'm sorry you went through that   I think partly because people like to gossip and be in the know and also because (as a pp mentioned) people like to have an explanation otherwise it could happen to their own kids. I know I have a new perspective on such things.

10 hours ago, mommyoffive said:

Ugh.  High School is the worst.  That has to be so hurtful to hear.   Can she stay home a few days?  Not sure if that would mentally be helpful or not.  

Yes, she's out for now. We'll see when she feels ready to go back. 

[Soror]

I got a call from the school counselor and I was honestly pleasantly surprised. He said not to worry about her being off, he will take care of things with her teachers. He even offered to come to the house to talk. He gave his condolences and mentioned survivor's guilt. DD wasn't interested, at least for now. 

I expect DD will be out at least a few days. IDK. Evidently there was lots of crying at the school today and I think that would make it harder for her. Not to mention all the stares and questions. She is more private and certainly doesn't want to share her inmost feelings with the whole school. She's still not been public with her thoughts and is really, really bothered by some things people have posted- well meaning mostly but she considers it disrespectful. She's very angry about it- I think that is at least partly grief coming out.

I also got a call from bf's dad checking on DD. I just can't get over how much they are looking out for her. And whenever I talk to them I just trip over myself with too many "I'm so sorry". I just feel so horrible. I've got to shut my damn mouth and just let them offer whatever is they want and need to say. They are just really good people. The kind of people you think, without irony or jealousy, they are so much better than I am. 

Services will be Thursday at the biggest venue in our smallish town, they do concerts there-it's going to be huge. Highschool itself has over 1200, 400+ in his class, many will be there. Not to mention everyone else they know. They have a big family and are loved by many. 4 hours of visitation with an extra hour at the beginning for those closer (they offered for DD to come to the early part), followed by the funeral. DD wants to be there for the whole thing. I'm feeling so nervous thinking about it. I'll be staying back on the sidelines ready to be there for her. I do not like big crowds at all. 

[Catwoman]

I keep praying for your daughter and your family and for the boys family. I wish I could do more. This is just so awful that I never know what to say when I post.

[DawnM]

2 hours ago, Soror said:

I got a call from the school counselor and I was honestly pleasantly surprised. He said not to worry about her being off, he will take care of things with her teachers. He even offered to come to the house to talk. He gave his condolences and mentioned survivor's guilt. DD wasn't interested, at least for now. 

I expect DD will be out at least a few days. IDK. Evidently there was lots of crying at the school today and I think that would make it harder for her. Not to mention all the stares and questions. She is more private and certainly doesn't want to share her inmost feelings with the whole school. She's still not been public with her thoughts and is really, really bothered by some things people have posted- well meaning mostly but she considers it disrespectful. She's very angry about it- I think that is at least partly grief coming out.

I also got a call from bf's dad checking on DD. I just can't get over how much they are looking out for her. And whenever I talk to them I just trip over myself with too many "I'm so sorry". I just feel so horrible. I've got to shut my damn mouth and just let them offer whatever is they want and need to say. They are just really good people. The kind of people you think, without irony or jealousy, they are so much better than I am. 

Services will be Thursday at the biggest venue in our smallish town, they do concerts there-it's going to be huge. Highschool itself has over 1200, 400+ in his class, many will be there. Not to mention everyone else they know. They have a big family and are loved by many. 4 hours of visitation with an extra hour at the beginning for those closer (they offered for DD to come to the early part), followed by the funeral. DD wants to be there for the whole thing. I'm feeling so nervous thinking about it. I'll be staying back on the sidelines ready to be there for her. I do not like big crowds at all. 

I am so glad, I was coming on here to say that a call to the school counselor would be a good idea.   I am glad he reached out.   We had a family lose their child (sister of our student) and I went out to the house several times.   Even if she isn't ready now, he can be a valuable resource.  

 

PS:  I would have suggested it before but I didn't realize they were still in high school.

Edited April 26, 2022 by DawnM

[Scarlett]

2 hours ago, Soror said:

I got a call from the school counselor and I was honestly pleasantly surprised. He said not to worry about her being off, he will take care of things with her teachers. He even offered to come to the house to talk. He gave his condolences and mentioned survivor's guilt. DD wasn't interested, at least for now. 

I expect DD will be out at least a few days. IDK. Evidently there was lots of crying at the school today and I think that would make it harder for her. Not to mention all the stares and questions. She is more private and certainly doesn't want to share her inmost feelings with the whole school. She's still not been public with her thoughts and is really, really bothered by some things people have posted- well meaning mostly but she considers it disrespectful. She's very angry about it- I think that is at least partly grief coming out.

I also got a call from bf's dad checking on DD. I just can't get over how much they are looking out for her. And whenever I talk to them I just trip over myself with too many "I'm so sorry". I just feel so horrible. I've got to shut my damn mouth and just let them offer whatever is they want and need to say. They are just really good people. The kind of people you think, without irony or jealousy, they are so much better than I am. 

Services will be Thursday at the biggest venue in our smallish town, they do concerts there-it's going to be huge. Highschool itself has over 1200, 400+ in his class, many will be there. Not to mention everyone else they know. They have a big family and are loved by many. 4 hours of visitation with an extra hour at the beginning for those closer (they offered for DD to come to the early part), followed by the funeral. DD wants to be there for the whole thing. I'm feeling so nervous thinking about it. I'll be staying back on the sidelines ready to be there for her. I do not like big crowds at all. 

I think it will be good for her to be there for all of it.  She needs to be surrounded by people who loved him as she begins this (probably) long grief process.  

[DoraBora]

Praying for you all this morning...

[Soror]

33 minutes ago, DawnM said:

I am so glad, I was coming on here to say that a call to the school counselor would be a good idea.   I am glad he reached out.   We had a family lose their child (sister of our student) and I went out to the house several times.   Even if she isn't ready now, he can be a valuable resource.  

 

PS:  I would have suggested it before but I didn't realize they were still in high school.

Yes, I called the school yesterday am to let them know she would be out. I didn't honestly think of them as a resource, we've obviously not been through anything like this. This is a new counselor and tbh so far he's been really unhelpful in other things this year. But his composure on the phone gave me some hope he might be helpful. I think if nothing else it might be a safe place to go when she goes back to school if things get overwhelming.

1 hour ago, Catwoman said:

I keep praying for your daughter and your family and for the boys family. I wish I could do more. This is just so awful that I never know what to say when I post.

I appreciate any/all of it. I get it. I don't know what to say either. It is just horrible. There is nothing that makes it better.

22 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

I think it will be good for her to be there for all of it.  She needs to be surrounded by people who loved him as she begins this (probably) long grief process.  

I think so too. I totally understand her wanting to be there. It makes me anxious just thinking about it tbh but I will be there for her.

Edited April 26, 2022 by Soror

[MEmama]

Sending you virtual ((hugs)) this morning, @Soror.

I wish I had something—anything— more to offer. ❤️

[mommyoffive]

I will be thinking of you, dd, and bf's family on Thursday.   

It warms my heart that his family is being so caring and thoughtful to your dd.  They sound like wonderful people.  To be able to do that during their hardest days is amazing.  

I am so glad that the school counselor reached out to you.  

I am glad she is at home.  Just sending lots of prayers to her and you everyday.  

[Mrs Tiggywinkle]

21 hours ago, Soror said:

I think so. DD said she thought he was breathing but I don't think so.

People can take a few gasping, agonal breaths even as their heart is stopping.  I am positive there is nothing she or any medical professionals could have done. There is very seldom anything anyone can do for severe traumatic injuries that cause death in the first few minutes after the trauma. She did absolutely the right things.

unfortunately there always seem to be rumors and misinformation floating around after these things. I’d avoid any news articles about it too; often there’s inaccuracies there as well.
I remain praying for you all.