Sympathy flowers…

[BlsdMama]

This has to be the tackiest question ever, but here goes…

 

DH’s grandmother died. She was 95. She was a lovely woman - kind and encouraging. My children knew her, we all liked her, and I even still have a card she sent me when I was first diagnosed. 
 

so….

 Flowers. $125?! I mean I can get a piddling vase of cut flowers for $60, or a plant for $70. A plant in a 6” vase?! That’s tiny. Someone tell me it’s tacky to put together a beautiful case of roses from Costco or a pretty planted from Lowe’s with an actual beautiful plant? 
 

I just feel like a beautiful plant honors her more but the idea of throwing $125 at flowers makes me a bit sick. I love plants but I’ve never been one to hope DH buys me a bouquet. 

[KSera]

I'm with you. I think putting together your own would be perfectly lovely. I honestly hope no one wastes a bunch of money buying flowers for me when I'm gone. They're very pretty, but soon they're gone and it's just not my thing. And for me, sympathy flowers are worse because you're mourning someone who died and somehow the flowers then dying a few days after you get them just makes it worse. That's me, though. I know many people enjoy them.

[Arcadia]

I don’t think it is tacky to DIY. We typically send wreaths but a bouquet of chrysanthemums are fine too.

[Bambam]

I don't send flowers to funerals. I send flowers to live people so they can appreciate them. I try to send personal notes to the family that is left. 

I've started sending these to people as they won't bother allergy sufferers, and they last much longer.  Everyone who has gotten them has enjoyed them. 
 

[Catwoman]

Honestly, I would just send the flowers unless I knew the family would definitely want a live plant.

[happi duck]

Not tacky to arrange your own.  As long as it is ready to go and no one at the funeral parlor or immediate family needs to fiddle with it.

When my dear bil died we made a special potted tree that had ornaments representing his many interests and memories.  We just brought it in and plopped it in place.  (My sister loved houseplants so I knew she'd like a plant)

With the too many funerals I've been involved with we all appreciated flowers over plants that needed care.

The only exception was an outdoor container planted with annuals.  My sister loved flower gardening so very appropriate. She died in late May so I just brought it home and stuck it in the yard.  Rain mostly took care of it.

[Katy]

I don’t think it’s tacky. It can be difficult in a small town and often the flowers are delivered early to be set up in advance, but since you are family that’s easy to arrange. And if you know her favorite flower you could probably get twelve dozen or more of whatever it is for that price. 

[Harriet Vane]

53 minutes ago, BlsdMama said:

This has to be the tackiest question ever, but here goes…

 

DH’s grandmother died. She was 95. She was a lovely woman - kind and encouraging. My children knew her, we all liked her, and I even still have a card she sent me when I was first diagnosed. 
 

so….

 Flowers. $125?! I mean I can get a piddling vase of cut flowers for $60, or a plant for $70. A plant in a 6” vase?! That’s tiny. Someone tell me it’s tacky to put together a beautiful case of roses from Costco or a pretty planted from Lowe’s with an actual beautiful plant? 
 

I just feel like a beautiful plant honors her more but the idea of throwing $125 at flowers makes me a bit sick. I love plants but I’ve never been one to hope DH buys me a bouquet. 

I have often given a nice peace lily plant. Ordering one is expensive. When my grandmother died, a dear family friend who could not make it to the funeral asked me to order a peace lily on her behalf. I bought one at Walmart and put it in a nice basket (one I had around from garage-sale gleanings) with a pretty card. It looked as beautiful and official as everything else people brought.

Similarly I think it's totally fine to put together your own vase. It's easy to get flowers from the local supermarket and a vase at Goodwill. If you want folks to think it's a fancy florist delivery, get a teenager to deliver it ahead of time in a plain box.

[Farrar]

Literally the only time I've ever felt good about ordering flowers to be sent was when I was on another continent. My grandmother was incredibly touched to get flowers sent when she knew I was in Asia. Other than that... oy. So not worth it. You're going. Just bring something. I can't even with the price of flowers for funerals.

[Ottakee]

Well, for the past two funerals I helped to arrange (mother in law and cousin) I went with other family members to the local nursery and bought live plants and flowers.   They were beautiful and cheap and then after the funeral we gave them out for close friends and relatives that wanted them.   I would do that again.

[Resilient]

NOT TACKY. 

When I send my mom flowers, I pay my sister (who lives in the same town) to get them from Costco and give them to my mom. I give her extra for her effort and it is still half the cost.

My mom loves it. It proves she didn't raise spendthrifts.

[matrips]

I’ve taken to buying plants instead of flowers.  They can always get rid of them, but have the option to keep them as something pretty for more than just a couple days. It seems to be appreciated.

Also, when my mom passed, we had to fly in for the funeral.  After the church service, we gave away tons of beautiful flowers that weren’t going to the cemetery.  We opened the trunk that had all the flowers and let folks pick what they wanted.  We made it clear we wanted them to be enjoyed because they were so beautiful.  Some for themselves, some for an elderly relative.  People really appreciated them and we got some thank you notes to that effect.