First post - planning to transition to homeschooling

[FreyaO]

Planning to homeschool next year, my then 7yo - 2nd grader. She has been in school so far, but it's not going well. She is not challenged academically and is emotionally unwell. She is highly sensitive and puts a lot of pressure on herself to please teachers and classmates. So I think she is internalizing a conflict between liking the people but not fitting in the school activities/life. 

 

I could do with some help on how to choose curricula and plan learning overall. Secular only (albeit happy to discuss religion as part of culture/society, we are doing that anyway). She reads fluently and seems to absorb spelling somehow - handwriting is lagging behind. She is doing a bit of Beast Academy on school breaks and seems to like it enough. She enjoys hands-on activities. One thing I suspect hinders her at school is the frequent transitions and short activities - 10 min on X, now quickly switch on Y, etc, all while in a distracting environment. My kid seems to need some time to start X, but if/ when she does get focused on something she will happily keep going for considerable amounts of time and oftentimes makes impressive observations/conclusions. That's something I want to offer her more opportunities with. She is naturally inclined to notice patterns or links (or discrepancies) across subjects and experiences and I feel this is an essential part of true learning.

 

I am excited about this prospect, but also a bit apprehensive - will I miss something or do something wrong? I guess I feel I need some guidance as to how to maximize the benefits and avoid the pitfalls of homeschooling from those who have already been there. 

[wendyroo]

Congratulations. I bet it is going to awesome.

I have always homeschooled three of my kids (currently K, 3rd and 7th), and one transitioned to 5th grade in the public school this year. My biggest piece of advice for you would be think about how schools educate (in your experience as a student and a parent of a student) and then to very consciously consider if that is how you want to educate. It is all too easy to unconsciously model your homeschool after the schools that you have experience with - but you don't have to!

You don't need worksheets or desks or tests or extracurriculars scheduled "after school". Educating your own child is a huge responsibility, but you have lots of freedom to do it in ways that best suit your child and your family. All you have to do is keep an open mind, and be willing to focus on you goals and all the diverse ways you can work toward them...and all the busywork and contrivances you can get rid of if they don't contribute to your goals.

If I reading your post correctly, then your daughter will be in third next year. This is a thread where lot of board members talk about what resources they will be using next year with their third graders. This can give you a lot of ideas. There are similar threads for each grade level that you can search for, so I often browse through the threads for my kids upcoming grades and and other grades to get more ideas.

[FreyaO]

Thank you, Wendy. She will in 2nd next year, but I found the corresponding thread. I've browsed around for a couple of weeks and I've come across more practical information, but I think I'm stuck to what you alluded to: how to choose goals, short-term, long-term, how to set objectives. I feel I need some deeper thinking to achieve that.

 

[HomeAgain]

I am going to say,

You will miss things.

You will do something wrong.

This is something you haven't done before!  You've taught other things, like how to walk and table manners and patience....but this is new.  You're learning together. 🙂

I highly suggest checking out the free resource thread in General Education.  It's a good place to begin to figure out what sort of materials you're drawn to and how your day can look.   It's also a fabulous way to make mistakes. 😄You'll see a thread pop up around October/November every year about how things are going - how it's working out and what just wasn't a good fit after all.  So, when you start with free, or pretty cheap, it's not too disheartening to drop it and go a different direction. 

I have a kid who does best with hands on materials.  No matter what, I end up using something and then looking online for additional ideas to change the written lesson to a more active one.  So we have materials we use, but it just doesn't look the same sometimes as another house using the same thing.  One of the big ones is Story Of The World.  The usual order is to read, answer discussion questions, do the map work, and follow up with an activity.  In our house, that went a whole different way.  I would read and take notes, then use my notes to retell the story as we did an integrated activity or followed along with the map.  The next day was often my kid acting it out or using the materials to retell it back in some way.  Less sitting, more active lesson time.

You're going to find your own way.  I promise you. 🙂  And it will look different than anyone else's.  I think the only other piece of advice I would give is: listen to your kid.  Like I said, it's a learning time for both of you.  Sitting down once a month together helps us see what is working and what isn't, and really hone in on what my objectives are and how they're being met.

[Brittany1116]

This typically makes new homeschoolers and non-homeschoolers bristle but here it is: if your state does not require specific subjects, consider skipping SS or science or other subjects for a year (or more). Focus on the 3 Rs, character-building, and your relationship. If you don't have to do 5 subjects a day for 4 hours a day, don't. There is no reason for you both to burn out because a second grade class somewhere is learning about life cycles of a frog and Aztec pottery, and all you want to do is read the classics and practice handwriting on pretty paper. The first 2 years were a learning curve for us and most of our homeschooling friends. 

[wendyroo]

32 minutes ago, FreyaO said:

Thank you, Wendy. She will in 2nd next year, but I found the corresponding thread. I've browsed around for a couple of weeks and I've come across more practical information, but I think I'm stuck to what you alluded to: how to choose goals, short-term, long-term, how to set objectives. I feel I need some deeper thinking to achieve that.

I would start with where your daughter is right now in various areas...and then, crucially, decide which areas you want to prioritize. You can't do all the things, and if you try, it will probably make you all miserable.

One place that I start is by considering what I think a balanced life would look like for each of my kids. Each week has 168 hours - what do I think would be a healthy, balanced way for each of my kids to spend those hours. I think about things like sleep, helping around the house, spending time outside, free play, time with friends, free reading time, etc. I only start thinking about school time once I have allocated hours for all the activities that I prioritize higher...and made sure there will be plenty of margin in our days to account for the unexpected.

Once I have an idea of how many hours I want to devote to school for each child, then I can start deciding how I want to spend that time. I've found that going the other way, choosing a bunch of resources and then trying to cram them in, only leads to burnout, unhappiness, and no real learning.

[Clarita]

If you have time two books I found super helpful to start is Well-Trained Mind and The Brave Learner. For Well-Trained Mind read the introduction stuff then you can skip to where your child is (like you don't have to read about high school right now).  Well Trained Mind has some solid curriculum suggestions and well as "what to cover" suggestions. The Brave Learner shows you how to teach your children without having to replicate the school environment.

[FreyaO]

18 hours ago, Brittany1116 said:

This typically makes new homeschoolers and non-homeschoolers bristle but here it is: if your state does not require specific subjects, consider skipping SS or science or other subjects for a year (or more). Focus on the 3 Rs, character-building, and your relationship. If you don't have to do 5 subjects a day for 4 hours a day, don't. There is no reason for you both to burn out because a second grade class somewhere is learning about life cycles of a frog and Aztec pottery, and all you want to do is read the classics and practice handwriting on pretty paper. The first 2 years were a learning curve for us and most of our homeschooling friends. 

That's interesting - it so happens that our state does require X hours per semester and several subjects per year, although I suspect the definition of what counts as each subject is somewhat vague. But thanks for the "permission" to let things go, I definitely needed it!

[FreyaO]

18 hours ago, wendyroo said:

I would start with where your daughter is right now in various areas...and then, crucially, decide which areas you want to prioritize. You can't do all the things, and if you try, it will probably make you all miserable.

One place that I start is by considering what I think a balanced life would look like for each of my kids. Each week has 168 hours - what do I think would be a healthy, balanced way for each of my kids to spend those hours. I think about things like sleep, helping around the house, spending time outside, free play, time with friends, free reading time, etc. I only start thinking about school time once I have allocated hours for all the activities that I prioritize higher...and made sure there will be plenty of margin in our days to account for the unexpected.

Once I have an idea of how many hours I want to devote to school for each child, then I can start deciding how I want to spend that time. I've found that going the other way, choosing a bunch of resources and then trying to cram them in, only leads to burnout, unhappiness, and no real learning.

I do need to keep in mind avoiding over-scheduling and your suggestion may work, i.e. start with the other things, so that they don't get neglected. Sleep for sure, time outside for physical activity, time to explore the city. 

[Clemsondana]

There are lots of approaches that you can use, and they'll all have strengths and weakness, just like any other school option you could choose.  When I was first starting out (next year I'll have a junior and an 8th grader) I set a goal of having them learn as much as possible, as pleasantly as possible, while having as much free time as possible.  In other words, i wanted them to learn a lot in a relatively enjoyable way, but I wanted to be efficient.  That has meant different things to my 2 kids.  One focused on the 'efficient', preferring books to hands-on activities, while the other was more interested in 'enjoyable' and liked documentaries.  

I started by picking a math program (we used Singapore, but there are tons of others) and handwriting (we used handwriting without tears, but there are other recommendations on this site).  I'd choose something to add vocabulary, or spelling, or reading comprehension, inference-making, or phonics, or writing, depending on the age and needs of the kid.  I then used ED Hirsh's 'What your x grader needs to know' series.  It guided our topics until the end of elementary.  I'd just buy and check out stacks of books on topics, or choose videos or craft projects or whatever was appropriate.  I divided our year into sections that were 2-6 weeks long, and we'd do geography, world history, physical science, and art in the fall and human biology/anatomy, US history, ecology, and music in the spring.  Other people prefer to do those topics on certain days each week, but my kids did better with longer units where we could play around with a subject until we got tired of it.  Others use a different sequence, or are entirely interest-led, or they like using a 3 or 4 year history cycle.  We did what worked for us - this plan was great because even though my 1st grader and 4th grader would be learning different things, I could pull out our human body floor puzzle and diagram books and both could be using them to learn the topics covered in their grade's plan.  

But, for every choice you make you are choosing not to do something else.  My kids learned far more poetry and art than I did, but it's nothing like some of the families describe on here.  I love museums and historic sites, so many years we've planned vacations that  include several days that I count as school when we explore a new museum or hike at a historic state park and read signs and discuss.  Some families schedule weekly or monthly field trips.  Mine tended to do better with a regular routine and then occasional multi-day road trips.  We often dedicated the last 3-5 days of each semester to local outings.  I was also intentional about having time for play and letting them explore through extracurriculars.  When they were young, they could choose 2 (one sport each season plus one other).  You'll have to decide how to work things like that into your family routine - do you participate in the morning homeschool karate class and start school after lunch, or do you take the afterschool class that interrupts dinner.  🙂  You can also decide about the use of co-ops.  Some people love to outsource classes, others don't use them at all, and others (like us) just use them for some enrichment classes when their kids are young.  My kids took some fun hands-on classes and art when they were little and they enjoyed the social time.  Others find that giving up a morning or day to co-op isn't beneficial.  Figuring out a routine that works can be the biggest challenge if you do things outside the home.  But, we've had a lot of fun and learned a lot - both the kids and adults.  

Edited April 8, 2022 by Clemsondana

[FreyaO]

Clemsondana, thanks so much for the time and effort! You're giving me an outline to start putting my thoughts together. Thinking aloud here, for my benefit and in case anyone wants to add comments, what I have so far:

Aims:

1. Improve well-being (improve sleep patterns, reduce anxiety - no morning commute, pick-ups, transit delays, etc, adapt learning schedule to child - too many and quick transitions are not good for her, less distracting learning environment).

2. Accelerate and diversify learning (compared to public school). DH is definitely a Hirsch fan and DD seems to welcome and enjoy content-rich activities as well. 

3. Allow free-time on a daily basis (ballpark 2h? 3h?) for her to decide to spend as she wishes (we don't have electronics fights so far, will regulate as need arises). Most of it outside. She doesn't have much now; directly related to Aim 1. 

Content:

1. Math, probably BA (she is doing Singapore at school and a bit of BA at home during breaks - she seems to prefer BA and to gain more from it - can't see a reason to change, maybe add occasional more hands-on activities?).

2. ELA - this is difficult. We read a lot - she reads fluently and is a natural speller, but this seems to happen mostly by osmosis. Needs a structured program? She used to love writing - school has dampened her enthusiasm, how to revive? Handwriting is lagging behind, poor endurance too.

3. Science/SS - she loves these and DH does too 🙂  hopefully they can mostly work together.

4. Second language (my own first language, small but historical, Indo-european but distant to English).

Out-of-home activities:

1. Dance - her request to join, she is very serious about it and enjoys it at the same time. Opportunity to socialize, participate in two shows/year, all good, will continue.

2. Maybe join moms-country-of-origin weekly "school" for extra exposure to language and culture, definitely choir.

3. Investigate co-ops more, what I have come across so far doesn't seem particularly appealing (costly, inconvenient, different attitude). Try library programs. 

4. Maybe join garden group - as a medium/long-term project, to interact with other adults, apprenticeship. Nice idea, will have to evaluate time availability.

5. Explore the city - different neighborhoods, museums (DH), kids' events, will try different approaches as to how best to incorporate.

Other:

1. Use yearly big trip as opportunity to read fiction/non-fiction, geography, cooking, etc (doing that anyway). 

2. Executive function - think more on this. No one in our family is a natural - will be good to improve. 

 

 

 

[Clemsondana]

It sounds like you have a good framework.  We tried different things with ELA.  One kid was a prolific reader and natural speller.  I did a root words-based vocab program with this kid, and then at the end of the week we'd use some words for a low-stress spelling test - the words were a lot harder than any age-appropriate words would have been, but kid liked learning vocabulary and on-grade spelling would have been pointless.  Sometimes we didn't do spelling at all.  I did the book SpellingWorks by Halvorsen in late elementary and again in middle school as a general review of spelling rules - it was a good quick review, but otherwise we didn't do a ton of spelling. 

I delayed writing for both kids.  One kid had apraxia, which slowed their development of writing endurance and also made sequencing activities (like in story writing and essays) challenging when kid was younger.  We started doing Michael Clay Thompson's language arts program in late elementary and it was a big success with older (and younger kid liked the first 3 levels).  It's not the only thing that we did, but kid likes it and we've continued to use it in combo with other things in high school.  We did a lot of it orally so that we weren't combining the frustration from the physical act of writing with the learning of composition.  Both kids struggled somewhat with inferences, so we used the Inference Jones workbooks from the Critical Thinking Company (which also has good puzzle books - mindbenders and balance benders were both good).  For my kids, doing a lot of writing in the early grades would have taken an inordinate amount of time and slowed their intake of information.  Somewhere in 5th-6th grade we started working more intentionally on writing essays and such.  Other families do a lot more writing with younger kids, but as part of working with the kids in front of me, we went a different way - this isn't where I wanted to spend time on 'struggle' at that age.  

The biggest struggle we've had is discerning when to press through a struggle and when to switch gears.  There are some things that I used with both kids for years, other that I chose specifically, and successfully, for each kid, times when we've switched gears and found greater success, and times when I wish we'd done something differently, although there's no way to know if it would have come out any better.  But, as long as we don't become too attached to a plan and adapt when needed, to usually turns out OK.  

[chocolate-chip chooky]

Hello @FreyaO. Welcome 🙂 

My homeschool beginnings were similar to yours. My youngest was in school and it just wasn't working.

I pulled her out to homeschool at age 5, really having zero idea what I had to do or how to do it.

Firstly, give yourselves time to readjust and find what works for you both. It took me a while to realise that what I thought would be good wasn't always the best thing for my daughter.

Secondly, accept and expect that what works will change over time. 

Thirdly, don't feel like you have to do everything right away. I think we all fall into this trap, even when we are warned of it.

Regarding setting goals - the first thing is making sure you're meeting the legal requirements where you live. This varies everywhere, so we all have had very different ways of meeting our children's needs within our local rule frameworks.

Once you know those legalities, I'd suggest you brainstorm what your main overall goals are for your child. This will vary for everyone. Some of these goals will be shorter term, and some will be long term. Having clear goals really helped me plan well. 

I'm glad you've found this forum. It has been a lifesaver for me over the 9 years I homeschooled my daughter.

I wish you all the best 🌻

[sabrinatowa]

On 4/13/2022 at 10:35 PM, chocolate-chip chooky said:

Hello @FreyaO. Welcome 🙂 

My homeschool beginnings were similar to yours. My youngest was in school and it just wasn't working.

I pulled her out to homeschool at age 5, really having zero idea what I had to do or how to do it.

Firstly, give yourselves time to readjust and find what works for you both. It took me a while to realise that what I thought would be good wasn't always the best thing for my daughter.

Secondly, accept and expect that what works will change over time. 

Thirdly, don't feel like you have to do everything right away. I think we all fall into this trap, even when we are warned of it.

Regarding setting goals - the first thing is making sure you're meeting the legal requirements where you live. This varies everywhere, so we all have had very different ways of meeting our children's needs within our local rule frameworks.

Once you know those legalities, I'd suggest you brainstorm what your main overall goals are for your child. This will vary for everyone. Some of these goals will be shorter term, and some will be long term. Having clear goals really helped me plan well. 

Homeschooling is a pretty good option, it makes studying easier and more comfortable. Moreover, there are lots of services that can help with the homeworks, like for example https://studyhippo.com/essay-examples/employment-law/ where it is possible to find essay examples. I consider this a really good option.

I'm glad you've found this forum. It has been a lifesaver for me over the 9 years I homeschooled my daughter.

I wish you all the best 🌻

was it difficult for you to take that decision? I really want to try homeschooling, but I am afraid that it can be even worse for my kid.

[chocolate-chip chooky]

2 hours ago, sabrinatowa said:

was it difficult for you to take that decision? I really want to try homeschooling, but I am afraid that it can be even worse for my kid.

No, it wasn't difficult because we were experiencing school refusal.

When my daughter, at age 5, started to hide my car keys, I knew that things needed to change.

I do understand that it is a big leap though, and everyone's situation is different.  

Good luck with your decision!

[Malam]

On 4/6/2022 at 11:05 AM, FreyaO said:

Planning to homeschool next year, my then 7yo - 2nd grader. She has been in school so far, but it's not going well. She is not challenged academically and is emotionally unwell. She is highly sensitive and puts a lot of pressure on herself to please teachers and classmates. So I think she is internalizing a conflict between liking the people but not fitting in the school activities/life. 

 

I could do with some help on how to choose curricula and plan learning overall. Secular only (albeit happy to discuss religion as part of culture/society, we are doing that anyway). She reads fluently and seems to absorb spelling somehow - handwriting is lagging behind. She is doing a bit of Beast Academy on school breaks and seems to like it enough. She enjoys hands-on activities. One thing I suspect hinders her at school is the frequent transitions and short activities - 10 min on X, now quickly switch on Y, etc, all while in a distracting environment. My kid seems to need some time to start X, but if/ when she does get focused on something she will happily keep going for considerable amounts of time and oftentimes makes impressive observations/conclusions. That's something I want to offer her more opportunities with. She is naturally inclined to notice patterns or links (or discrepancies) across subjects and experiences and I feel this is an essential part of true learning.

 

I am excited about this prospect, but also a bit apprehensive - will I miss something or do something wrong? I guess I feel I need some guidance as to how to maximize the benefits and avoid the pitfalls of homeschooling from those who have already been there. 

When you hear people mention other curricula (MEP, Miquon) don't immediately assume that it must be better than what you're doing right now. 

Speaking of which, do you want curricular recommendations?

[FreyaO]

5 hours ago, Malam said:

When you hear people mention other curricula (MEP, Miquon) don't immediately assume that it must be better than what you're doing right now. 

Speaking of which, do you want curricular recommendations?

Yes, I'm still overthinking all this and haven't committed (i.e. bought) anything. Our state does require a plan and quarterly reports and specifies individual subjects to be taught as: Reading - Spelling - Writing - English Language - Arithmetic - Geography - US History - Science - Health - PE - Visual Arts - Music. 

[The Governess]

For writing, I discovered The Writing Revolution after my girls were in high school, but feel it is an excellent framework for teaching writing from K-8.  I also like the Killgallon sentence composing series for teaching sentence variety and light grammar.

A few things from the younger years that our family really enjoyed:

We invested in some Waldorf art supplies when my girls were young - high quality colored pencils, paper, pastels, etc. and I taught handcrafts like finger knitting and then regular knitting. 

Michael Clay Thompson’s Poetry curriculum was a hit.  We also enjoyed Story of the World. Many, many picture books. Lots of reading while snuggled on the couch. I always read to them while they ate lunch too.

Lots of “field trips” to museums, theater, days at the park, educational travel opportunities, etc. These are the things they remember most fondly.

It sounds like your dd might work best with a block schedule - longer periods where you can immerse yourself in a subject. Some subjects like math and reading could be done each day, and others like science or history could be done once or twice a week in longer chunks.

If writing is a challenge don’t let it become overwhelming. Work on it a bit each day. Then let her dictate to you for the rest. Incorporate a lot of discussion as well. I really like Spaulding’s method of teaching handwriting. 

I hope you have a wonderful first year!
 

[Malam]

1 hour ago, The Governess said:

It sounds like your dd might work best with a block schedule - longer periods where you can immerse yourself in a subject. Some subjects like math and reading could be done each day, and others like science or history could be done once or twice a week in longer chunks.

Or perhaps even and odd days, with every subject being represented at least once per two-day period. Maybe even a standard schedule with 30-45 min per subject. It really depends on whether her attention span goes up to 30-60 min (standard),  60-120 min (two day), or even longer (weekly blocks).

[Malam]

2 hours ago, FreyaO said:

Yes, I'm still overthinking all this and haven't committed (i.e. bought) anything. Our state does require a plan and quarterly reports and specifies individual subjects to be taught as: Reading - Spelling - Writing - English Language - Arithmetic - Geography - US History - Science - Health - PE - Visual Arts - Music. 

Do each of these need to be taught every year, or for at least one year over the course of k-12? Most public schools wouldn't have a separate subject for each of these every year, so you shouldn't feel the need to either. Are you comfortable sharing which state you're in?

For science, check out BFSU (takes a lot of prep), Early Elementary Science Education (based off BFSU, more direct lessons), or Scientific Connections Through Inquiry (based on BFSU, more of a traditional curriculum). You can also look here for some gifted-specific science programs.

for ELA, Michael Clay Thompson is all-in-one and meant for gifted children, but is expensive. Another option is Jacob's Ladder. The college of William & Mary's Center for Gifted Education has curricula for math, ELA (not just the Jacob's Ladder comprehension), science, and social studies (see here). More ELA

Edited July 12, 2022 by Malam