Elderly dogs - JAWM

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Watching your buddy of 15 years decline and not knowing when to make the final, difficult decision sucks. It just does.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

If someone could come take this lump from my throat, the pain from my heart, and the guilt from my soul, it would be greatly appreciated.

[YaelAldrich]

Watching the decline of a beloved pet-family member is so difficult.  My thoughts and prayers go out to you in making a hard decision.

[Catwoman]

I’m so sorry. I wish I had some advice that would make you feel better, but all I can do is commiserate with you because I know how terrible it feels.

Sending you lots of hugs and support as you make an incredibly tough decision.

[Tiberia]

We just had to put our beloved 13-year-old yellow lab down a few weeks ago. It was agonizing to watch him decline, but he sort of let us know the day he was ready to go. He couldn’t hold his bowels, he wouldn’t eat or drink, and he had a blank look in his eyes. He was ready to rest.
 

I am sorry you are having to go through this, but it is a blessing to have an old dog. We lost two young dogs to cancer, so having an old dog is a different kind of joy but has a different kind of pain when it comes time to say goodbye.
 

I hope your friend lets you know when the time comes. You just do your best and know this is the last gift you can give them. You have given all a dog can hope for. You are a trusted leader, a gentle friend, someone they can pledge their lives to. You will do the right thing by them, no guilt or shame. Make sure you stay in the room if you go to the vet. Your presence will be all that matters. 

 

[Pawz4me]

Hugs.

The common wisdom is you'll somehow magically know when it's time, but I've not found that to be true at all. The only times I've found it to be even close to the vicinity of truth was with pets who had a terminal/incurable disease diagnosis. With "just" general old age issues -- it's so hard to know if you're getting it right. So you do the best you can, and hold on to that.

[KSera]

I’m so sorry. It’s incredibly difficult and we have consistently had a hard time knowing when was the right time. Twice we have had scenarios where we were waiting to know it was time and then had something happen that caused us to regret letting it get to that point. It’s hard though that only in hindsight can you know that you waited too long. But based on those experiences, I hold a “better a week too soon than a day to late” philosophy. We still missed the right time last time around though. It’s just so hard to make the decision. I’m sorry and I hope you have some good time together and clarity when the time has come. 

[fraidycat]

I'm sorry. We are dealing with the exact same thing with a beloved cat at the moment. We're gonna have to make that call really soon, likely within a week. 🥲

[Indigo Blue]

I don’t believe I can help with the lump in your throat or the pain in your heart, but maybe I have a few words to ease the guilt in your soul. Your friend has given you unconditional love and joy for the past 15 years. You can repay that by giving him that final, compassionate gift of an easy, peaceful final rest. And it is a gift. A huge gift. 

[katilac]

I'm sorry, it's so hard. 

If it's available and affordable, anyone dealing with this might look into mobile vets that offer this service. It can be comforting all around to have it happen at home. 

[JustEm]

It really does suck.  We have a 14 year old dog and a 13 year old dog.  The decline is awful to watch.

[DawnM]

We did this a few months ago.   It sucks.   It was the hardest thing ever.   14 years we had her and she was such a wonderful dog.   

I found that having someone from the outside looking in helped more than anything.   When friends tell me "Dawn, she is suffering, we can see it, it is time," it helped me finally do it and know it was time.

[OH_Homeschooler]

I've had to put a couple of pets down as an adult, and I know a third is around the corner. I realized that it felt like I was doing it too soon (what if there were still good days left?) AND I was doing it too late (why did I let the suffering go on for so long?). I think it simply sucks to have to make the decision to end a life, even when it is the 100% right thing to do. 

[GailV]

I did the same for 19.5yo Geriatric Cat last fall, and I'm about to start crying once again reading through this.

I don't know if I chose the right day -- too soon? too late? -- but I absolutely focussed on him in those final hours, and made sure it was about him and not about me and my feelings. When I was holding him while the vet prepped things, I set aside my sadness and grief, and concentrated on loving him.

Okay, now I'm crying.

[stephanier.1765]

I have been there and done that and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I am so sorry your family is going through this. For us, the moment became obvious. One morning she woke but she wasn't really there any more. One of the hardest moments of my life and even just typing this is bringing tears to my eyes. Truly, hugs to you all!

[Kassia]

I'm so sorry.  We've been there too and it's unbelievably hard knowing if/when and doubting your decision.  Sending hugs.

[wintermom]

Been there, and know exactly how difficult it is to make that decision. Sorry you're going through this. 

The things that helped ease my 'guilt' was trying to determine whether he was in any kind of pain, and taking stock of his quality of life now and going forward. When in doubt about the pain, I opted to assume he was in pain and acted accordingly. 

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Thank you for the replies.

@DawnM - I have thought about you a lot this last few days knowing that you went through it recently and my 'advice' at the time. ((DawnM))

My Silver Muzzle is in pain. He's on three pain medications twice a day.

He doesn't walk well anymore. He hunches a lot and his gait is so off that he has worn his nails to the quick and he bleeds. He slips and his back legs are regularly crossed. He's had a few pretty bad falls and I'm fairly certain his tail is fractured. It has a new kink in it but it doesn't appear painful.

He's losing his vision and hearing. He cannot be left alone as he will use the bathroom in the house. I've had to steam clean multiple times the past week; three times in less than two hours. 

He wants to be by my side and, if I leave the room, he paces and pants until I settle down again.

I haven't slept in my own bed for weeks because he can no longer make it upstairs and needs to be let out at night. When I do sleep in my room, the puppy alerts me as often as he can that Big Brother is in need. It's really sweet. Oftentimes Big Brother has already had an accident but sometimes I can get there early enough to help him outside. Lots of late night steam cleaning happening here. It's easier to sleep on the couch and hear him struggle to rise; then I can help him outside.

About which - he can no longer get off the deck and I have to clean it daily. It will need to be completely sanded and restained this summer.

We took him to his favorite nature trail yesterday and he walked to the trail head and just sat down. He tried to keep up with DGD a couple of times but only made it  about 100 feet before stopping. She was so proud of him. Three weeks ago he walked the entire bottom trail section.

I had him to the vet on Friday.  He's deteriorating quickly. The vet said maybe a few more months but his needs will increase.

The past few days have been awful. DD and DGD came to say their final goodbyes. DGD spent the night with me on Sunday and we pampered him. Gave him all the treats and pats. Took him to Starbucks for a pupcup. Gave him an oatmeal bath and brushed him. Bought him a puppy cookie.

Today, it's just me, the puppy, and my Silver Muzzle. I'm sitting here, binging tv while he sits next to me. I've combed out his coat and he is silky smooth and so handsome. I'll take him for ice cream later.

DS is coming tomorrow to say his final good-bye and accompany me to the vet clinic. The dog was originally his until he went to college. Then DGD became his favorite person. When DGD moved away, I became a poor substitute for his first loves.

 

[KSera]

I'm very sorry. What a handsome boy. From your description, that sounds absolutely like the right choice. Enjoy spoiling him today. It brings me a little comfort that even though we waited too long, our last doggo still had an appetite on her last day and had treats constantly from when she woke right up until the time (we were able to do at home), even though she couldn't even stand up. She loved food, so I know that gave her some happiness. Gentle hugs to you all.

[Lisa]

He looks adorable! Its so hard when our furry friends are suffering and we have to say goodbye. Hugs!

[I talk to the trees]

 I am so sorry! I have been there too many times. (Twice, it has been in the month of April. I'm basically a weepy mess for most of the month now, and seeing the picture of your beautiful old man made me start up again.) It just plain stinks. 

[Serenade]

What a beautiful doggie!  

It's never an easy decision whether the pet is young or old.  

[easypeasy]

Amen. It is such a difficult time - trying to do the "right" thing, but omg it hurts as you rip your heart right outta your chest.

He is precious. He's been loved soooo much in his life - what a good doggy life.

Doesn't make it much easier, but at least you know you did what you could for him.

{hugs}

[Selkie]

What a gorgeous boy who has lived such a long and wonderful life.

I have unfortunately been through this dozens of times (have had many, many rescue dogs, cats, and horses over the past 30 years) and it has never gotten easier. Just know that by helping him leave his failing body, you are showing him the greatest and most selfless love.❤️

[MercyA]

I am so very sorry. From your description, I think it is time. I don't think you've waited too long and I don't think you're doing it too soon.

Please do not feel guilty. It sounds like you have done everything right and have shown your boy true love and given him a wonderful life. This is a final act of love. 

Huge hugs to you. Know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. ❤️

[Catwoman]

He is absolutely gorgeous! What an adorable face — his eyes are so beautiful and sweet! And his fur is amazing!

From everything you have described, I know you are doing the right thing, but that doesn’t make it any less heartbreaking. You have been an amazing dog mom to him, and I will be praying for you, your dog, and your family tonight and tomorrow. 

Sending lots of hugs. 

Edited April 6, 2022 by Catwoman

[wintermom]

Fantastic photo! What a beautiful boy. Big hugs to you all.

[Tiberia]

He is beautiful and he looks well-loved. What a sweet dog. Hugs to you all.

It's ok to cry. A lot. Dogs can touch a place in our hearts that no-one else can. 

[Spryte]

Beautiful, beautiful boy! 
 

Sending big hugs.

[kristin0713]

So sorry you are going through this. He’s clearly beautiful and amazing and has had a wonderful life with your family. Thank you for sharing about him here. What a sweet guy. 

[Kanin]

He is so beautiful! 

I am actually putting off considering getting a dog out of fear of this very thing... even though I know we would likely have over a decade of love and fun together. My cat is 18 and I constantly think about what's going to eventually happen. 

My throat is choked up for you. Sending lots of ❤️

 

[Catwoman]

@Granny_Weatherwax — I have been thinking about you and praying for you and your family all day. I hope you feel up to getting back online soon. I’m sure today was incredibly hard for you, but please know that we are thinking about you and we are here for you.