How to delete/deactivate my account?

[Ting Tang]

I sent a message to the help desk. Is there a way to delete my account on this forum? 

[Helpdesk]

We don't delete accounts, but you can delete or edit individual posts.

I already responded to you in a message, Ting Tang, but for others who might read this post:

Most of the time (not speaking to this particular request), when people want their account deleted, it is for one of three reasons:

• They've overshared.
• They've gotten into a scrum.
• They've found it impossible to step away, and want their time back.

Here are some friendly suggestions to deal with each of these:

• I've overshared. OK. Most of us have done that at one time or another.  You can go back and edit your oversharing post, deleting the entire content or just the oversharing part.  It might help if you also changed your screen name. And take a moment before you post to remember that the internet is forever.  
   
• I've gotten into a scrum. OK. I have done that, too, in my civilian account. One thing you can do is to edit your posts as above, or you can back away and stop posting, without making a "scene" about it. Just back away. Others may have suggestions about this situation, but I've found that backing away works for me..not having to have the last word, not pouring gasoline on a fire. 
   
• I'm addicted and I can't stop posting. OK. In the 20 years I have been on the forums, I have had to do a "board fast" from time to time.  (Same with Facebook...other things that take too much of my time or get me riled up for no benefit. Right now I am on an Instagram fast...I want my time back.) People have handled this in a few ways.
  
  One that works for many people who can't control themselves is to have a trusted friend reset the password and log off. When you want to come back on, the friend can give you the password. 
  
  One way to help increase self-control is to devise a pleasant and profitable substitute (that's what I did to develop self-control re: the forums).  "When I feel like running to the forums and making a post, instead I am going to ____ for 15 minutes." (knit, garden, go outside, fury-clean a drawer, write a note to a friend...you fill in the blank). Note: I discovered that "have a bowl of ice cream" WORKED but had other side effects.  

One option that is not helpful to a discussion board is to create a new account.  It diminishes the integrity of the relationships among the people on the forums, and it tends to lead to bad behavior overall.  If you have duplicate accounts, please let me know so I can merge them into the one you prefer.  

Integrity, internet hygiene, and self control are traits we want to teach our children...we can practice them ourselves in our own internet (and other) activities.  

I hope these suggestions are helpful to those who have had this question themselves.  Others may have helpful suggestions, as well.  

Helpdesk

 

 

[Slache]

This is so belittling. When I started my account we could have them deleted. Now you say we can't and lecture us like children as to why you've taken that ability away. There are multiple valid reasons to want your account deleted. If someone is going through a divorce or domestic violence situation they do not have the time to painstakingly search their old posts for the relevant content. It is absolutely not your place to tell someone how to handle an addiction. Who do you think you are? Our therapist? Our mother?

I get that you people work your butts off for probably no pay, and I appreciate this site and you guys more than I can say, but be honest about the fact that deleting accounts is just too much and don't lecture us. We aren't children.

[Jean in Newcastle]

It has been a board rule for over a year (maybe even longer) that accounts are not deleted by moderators.  There are good points about the integrity of the discussions here on this board that are behind that. 

Adults can moderate their own internet behavior and it isn't belittling to point that out.  Or if it is, there is a problem. 

[Helpdesk]

14 hours ago, Slache said:

This is so belittling. When I started my account we could have them deleted. Now you say we can't and lecture us like children as to why you've taken that ability away. There are multiple valid reasons to want your account deleted. If someone is going through a divorce or domestic violence situation they do not have the time to painstakingly search their old posts for the relevant content. It is absolutely not your place to tell someone how to handle an addiction. Who do you think you are? Our therapist? Our mother?

I get that you people work your butts off for probably no pay, and I appreciate this site and you guys more than I can say, but be honest about the fact that deleting accounts is just too much and don't lecture us. We aren't children.

I apologize for the tone that came across.  It wasn't meant to be belittling.  To tell the truth it would be a lot less work for me to delete an account than to repeatedly go through these discussions privately with multiple people.  It' has always been board policy  that we don't delete accounts.  In my early days, I deleted a few before I knew of the policy, but that was my mistake.  

Again, I apologize that the tone came across belittling.  However, I'll leave it alone so people can understand the thread in context.

Oh, and Ting Tang, my response was certainly not directed at you personally! The question was the occasion for my response, not the cause.

[Rosie_0801]

14 hours ago, Slache said:

This is so belittling. When I started my account we could have them deleted. Now you say we can't and lecture us like children as to why you've taken that ability away. There are multiple valid reasons to want your account deleted. If someone is going through a divorce or domestic violence situation they do not have the time to painstakingly search their old posts for the relevant content. It is absolutely not your place to tell someone how to handle an addiction. Who do you think you are? Our therapist? Our mother?

I get that you people work your butts off for probably no pay, and I appreciate this site and you guys more than I can say, but be honest about the fact that deleting accounts is just too much and don't lecture us. We aren't children.

Neither Helpdesk nor the moderators make the rules.
You are scolding us for the board owner's choices.

Speaking of board rules, a quote from them: "Threads about how the boards should be run differently, laments about how much more/less welcoming the board is/was now/in the past, and criticisms of the moderators should be posted on...someone else's board. "