When should/can a child have their own e-mail?

[coffeefreak]

Obviously, if we decide to give the 9 year old princess her own address, it will be UNDER ours, I will have ALL parental controls intact and I will be double checking to make sure no, "junk" is getting in there. I'm not sold on this idea yet, but some of her friends have their own accounts (under parent's) and she wants her own. I am really pondering the necessity and the benefits of this. I thought I'd bring it to the "hive" and see what everyone else has done (I'm all about research), while I pray and thoughtfully consider whether she's ready or not.

 

Thanks!

Dorinda

[Jan in Utah]

I just don't think 9yo is old enough and responsible enough for their own email account.

 

There are too many variables to consider and too many ways for unwanted things to sneak past you, IMO, even if it is under your account.

 

And I'm thinking why it is even needed except because her friends have one?

 

I know I'm too protective but those are my thoughts.

 

Jan

[Karenciavo]

My 6 yo has an email account. He only emails family though, especially dad, and it comes through my Thunderbird application.

[Pamela H in Texas]

My kids have had one all along. I saw no reason to keep them from having one. There has never been an issue.

[Plucky]

I wait until 11 and I use Zoobuh. My dd only receives and sends email to approved addresses. Every email is sent to my email, too. It does cost a small fee but has been very worth it to me. I wouldn't have a problem with a 9 year old using Zoobuh.

 

 

http://www.zoobuh.com/

[elegantlion]

My ds 11 just got one. So far he has e-mailed us and his grandma about 100 tiimes each. No one else he knows has e-mail, so he's stuck with us for a while.

[Melanie]

My kids had email addresses at one time, but when they started receiving emails saying, "Anser my email if i like You I will anser back if i dont like you i wont" we cancelled their accounts. If they want to send someone in the family an email, they just use my account and put their names in the title.

 

We'll try the email thing again in high school. They'll probably still be subjected to emotional manipulation, but maybe their friends will have learned how to write by then. :tongue_smilie:

[Retired]

my boys have had there own email address since about 1st grade

 

we moved around so much it gave my boys the opportunity to keep in touch with friends

 

 

we have never had a problem

[xxxxxxxx]

but then only under our supervision. They know that we can read them whenever we want. They are also educated on spam emails and forwarded emails. And also taught about viruses and such.

[momofkhm]

And have had them for about a year. But it's only been in the last 6 months or so that they could email friends. Before that it was just grandparents.

 

They are only allowed to send and receive to addresses I approve of. And I can check their email at any time.

 

So far it's mostly to keep up with friends who they don't see often.

[Mama Lynx]

I think mine were 8 and 6 when I made theirs. They never really used them until they were 11 and 9, though.

 

We don't find it to be a big deal. If you use gmail, you can have every email that is sent to them forwarded to your email, as well.

[AnnetteB]

We use a family account and the older teens signed themselves up for their own accounts when they were around 18. We mostly IM family anyway.

[runamuk]

We have a family account and our 8yo dd has her own email address, and all incoming mail is delivered to one inbox.

 

She uses her account to email friends and family, and is only allowed to give it out with our permission.

[Aubrey]

I set one up for ds when he was about 5 so he could email his grandparents--writing practice, mostly. I think he used it 2-3 times because I'm inconsistent like that.

 

I treated it like my acct that he could use. He still doesn't get on the computer unless I set him up w/ something--maybe 5-10 times in his life.

 

As far as the usefulness of email, though, he still uses my acct for penpal purposes. We have missionary friends in Africa w/ 2 younger sons, & we try to stay in touch w/ them. So family, school, penpal. Friends, maybe. Esp if you've moved away from someone special. I think it might help the friendship fade a little more slowly.

[TraceyS/FL]

I can set up Mac Mail to send everything they get to me too - and limit who they can email.

 

I had one for them, but it's mucked, so i'll give one back to her for her birthday i think....

[Susan in TN]

When they are old enough to sign up and pay for the account themselves. In other words, when they move out. We have a family email account and it is available for everyone to use.

[Renee in NC]

Mine was under my email account (so I had access) until he was 13. Then, he signed up for his own. I can get in to his, though, because I have the password - I don't, but I could.

 

My 10yo hasn't asked for his own yet and won't get one anytime soon only because we won't *have* internet anymore!:D

[Colleen]

When they are old enough to sign up and pay for the account themselves. In other words, when they move out. We have a family email account and it is available for everyone to use.

 

Yep. I can't think of one good reason why I'd establish separate email accounts for my children. They don't need their own account in order to email friends or family. I don't understand that rationale.

[angela in ohio]

Any email to my daughters (12 and 10 yo) must come through our family account (read: her father can read it.) :)

 

I know too many homeschool (and other) children/teens who are making fools of themselves with their email and online antics. Plus, our dc write letters to friends instead, and it is good for them.

[dtsmamtj]

Agree with Susan and Coleen.

 

T

[ereks mom]

We monitored them closely, of course. We set the passwords and checked the inbox & sent items regularly.

[Kimm in WA]

I agree with Susan and Coleen. We have a family account with separate folders for each of the older kids, so if they get an e-mail I just move it over there for them to check.

 

Kimm in WA

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

Kiddos have their own email. But I own the domain name, and I set up their accounts so that I receive a blind copy of everything they receive.

 

However, I can sense the day coming soon where my son will set up his own Yahoo account. Some of his friends are already there, and I know I'll lose control over his email when he does that. But he doesn't know it yet! It will be soon though.

[coffeefreak]

We have a family account with separate folders for each of the older kids, so if they get an e-mail I just move it over there for them to check.

 

Kimm in WA

 

This is what we've been doing. She only corresponds with a pen pal right now (I'm good friends with the other girl's Mom). But, she gets mad that I've read the e-mails. Not that I care:D, I am the Mom:D. But this brings up a good question. She wants it for more privacy, I'm not willing to give her that privacy yet. UGH! I wish I lived back with Ma and Pa Ingalls (haha!)

 

What I'm seeing from the responses is, it's not necessarily whether you give your kids their own e-mail or not, it's the expectation of privacy that's the issue. If you give a child their own e-mail under your account, you will still be able to read it, so it's like not giving them their own. But, they FEEL like they have their own and FEEL like they have an expectation of privacy.

SO, when should kids be allowed privacy? Do you open their letters (snail mail and e-mail) until their teens? Or do you allow them privacy until they lose your trust? What a can of worms! Am I making sense? :001_huh:

 

Also, what do you tell your child about e-mail? Do you say, "I'm the parent and until you're 18 you have no privacy," or do you say something else?

 

We haven't decided what to do yet, and the responses have been a big help. Please keep them coming!

 

Dorinda

whose 9 year old is OBVIOUSLY going through a growth spurt mentally (just last month we were still playing with stuffed animals:glare:)

[Wendi]

On my Mac, ds has an account that I control. He can only send/receive messages from addresses I approve of (with my password). If he tries to send something to a different account, or if he receives something from a different account, it comes to me for approval.

 

He emails his grandmothers, his dad and me, and sometimes his friends. I feel safe with our Parental Controls.

 

Wendi

[fivetails]

dd11 has her own gmail account - I set it up though, so I have the password and whatnot....I also view all emails before she does (both the ones she recieves and the ones she is sending - I read those before she sends them)...and she's not allowed to look in the spam folder just in case. Gmail is good about less spam than yahoo and when it *does* get some, it's really good about dropping it in the spam spot...nonetheless, we've discussed spam and all that.

 

She uses her email to email her friends back home - we just moved 5000km away, so it's important to her to have that contact with them :)

 

ds10 is just learning what email is - he dictates a few short ones now and then to me and I type them & send. :)

[TraceyS/FL]

I think mine were 8 and 6 when I made theirs. They never really used them until they were 11 and 9, though.

 

We don't find it to be a big deal. If you use gmail, you can have every email that is sent to them forwarded to your email, as well.

 

A friend is wondering if there is a way to set up so it sends a copy of what they send to you too? Thank you for posting this - she made this change tonight after i told her it was there.

[JoyfulMama]

I use email for communication on a daily basis, and have used the computer myself since I was about 5 yo.

So it did not surprise me when my 6 yo dtr wanted her own email account. I own the domain, so I got her one... and she started sending emails to her aunt and grandparents. To me, it was a way for her to practice spelling and grammar.

Computer use is only an earned priviledge, and must be done in front of me (that's why we got the laptop). It has also allowed for teaching internet and email safety.

Use was sporatic, as she realized it was hard to spell. :glare:

When we moved last year, at 7 yo, she traded email address with some friends. Email has been sporatic. Mainly, they send eachother American Girl e-cards. But she continues to get email from her aunt and grandparents. I continue to encourage it for hidden learning time.

And sometimes I get a "surprise" email from her as well.

It is one way I allow her to have more independence, but it is an earned priviledge, and therefore can be removed.

Also, I want her to be comfortable using a computer. I want her to learn the opportunities that a computer can offer, but also to recognize the dangers that are there as well. I am preparing her for when she is not under my watchful eye, so that she may make choices that won't come back to bite her.

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

A friend is wondering if there is a way to set up so it sends a copy of what they send to you too? Thank you for posting this - she made this change tonight after i told her it was there.

 

Yes, it's feasible. I didn't do it but I still plan on doing it.

It has to be done within the mail reader you use. For us, that's Thunderbird. One of the hard to reach options, when you set up an email, is for it to send an automatic blind copy for every email sent.

 

In the "Copies and Folders" options, there's "Bcc these email addresses"

 

That would send me any copy of what the kids send out.

 

EDIT:

oops, I thought this was an answer to my earlier post. It does not apply to gmail, I think.

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

Do you say, "I'm the parent and until you're 18 you have no privacy," or do you say something else?

 

I say "like everywhere, the internet has good people and bad people on it. I monitor what's happening to you because I love you, and I can detect the bad people better than you for now. When you develop your 6th sense, you'll be on your own, but for now, I protect you."

 

I also do not snoop on grandma's emails. I leave my children unsupervised with her, I do not see why I should read what she sends them.

[Mekanamom]

My kids earn their email accounts when they complete their typing programs. ;) If they're going to email, they need to know how to type properly! (This is a most excellent incentive to put the time in on the typing program, btw.)

 

We use Zoobuh. It has worked out very well for us!