How to drink less alcohol?

[lauraw4321]

I need ideas / suggestions / tips on drinking less. I usually have 1-2 drinks 5 nights a week, but sometimes it’s more. I know it’s bad for me. I haven’t been able to get a handle on this. Any suggestions?

Edited February 13, 2022 by lauraw4321
More clear headline.

[Sneezyone]

Alcoholic or non?

[Melissa Louise]

Switch one of your drinks to low  alcohol version. So you still have the ritual/taste/bubbles but cut alcohol content.

Make one of your days a mocktail day.

Think about what alcohol gives you - relaxation, relief, a treat, me time- and choose a non-alcohol based way to meet that need once or twice a week. 

Change up your evening ritual. At the time you'd open the wine or whatever, go for a walk, call a friend etc.

Find ways of managing underlying stress, if that is a factor. Yoga, massage meditation, connecting with a friend. 

Buy less alcohol. Save the $ for something else you want . 

Find an alternate drink that meets sensory needs. Water might not work but carbonated mineral water might. 

Find a cut back buddy. Support each other to cut down on drinks.

Good luck! 

 

 

 

[lauraw4321]

Just now, Sneezyone said:

Alcoholic or non?

Alcoholic. I mean how to drink less alcohol. I’ll revise again. 🤦‍♀️

[Melissa Louise]

Ha, I assumed alcohol. 

If it's soda, I guess the same applies. Just go low sugar versions, or make your own flavoured mineral waters or something. 

 

[Sneezyone]

1 minute ago, lauraw4321 said:

Alcoholic. I mean how to drink less alcohol. I’ll revise again. 🤦‍♀️

Taper. Gradually. Alternate a flavored sparkling water with a glass of wine. Start talking to someone, think AA sponsor,  when when you’re bored vs pouring another glass.

[Slache]

Stop completely for 30 days, then start again and you will drink much less.

[lauraw4321]

3 minutes ago, Slache said:

Stop completely for 30 days, then start again and you will drink much less.

I’m not sure I can. 😭

[Sneezyone]

Just now, lauraw4321 said:

I’m not sure I can. 😭

I would not go cold turkey if you've developed a dependency/habit without medical supervision.

[EKS]

9 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

I would not go cold turkey if you've developed a dependency/habit without medical supervision.

There is literally no way that a person who drinks 1-2 drinks per day is physically dependent.

[matrips]

Is it a habit?  Like relaxing on the couch and drinking wine?  Or is it hard alcohol for a different purpose?  If the former, I would buy non alcoholic versions and continue your routine.  If the latter, maybe add more mixer and less alcohol each night?  

[Brittany1116]

1 minute ago, EKS said:

There is literally no way that a person who drinks 1-2 drinks per day is physically dependent.

I'd disagree, especially when the OP admits it can be more and she can't get a handle on it. 

[Sneezyone]

4 minutes ago, EKS said:

There is literally no way that a person who drinks 1-2 drinks per day is physically dependent.

"I'm not sure I can" is a pretty good indication that someone is more dependent than they should be/would like to admit.

Edited February 13, 2022 by Sneezyone

[wintermom]

How long has it taken you to get to this point? Is it a long-term thing, or has it crept up on you after a difficult situation?

When I got to a point where the amount I drank was sneaking up higher than I wanted, I asked myself a couple questions. Why are you drinking? What are the negative impacts you are feeling when you drink? At first, drinking helped me get to sleep, and I needed the help. But then it wasn't helpful anymore. I wasn't drinking socially; it was a sleep aid at a stressful time in my life. I was able to quit cold turkey. I just set a date, let my dh know, and stopped buying alcohol. If someone else in the house is drinking with you, you could both agree to stop for a period of time. 

 

[lauraw4321]

During the worst of the pandemic, it was easily 3-4 drinks a night. I’ve cut way back. I will not drink at all a couple nights a week. But it feels like a reward and a way to unwind. I drink beer or wine. I don’t drink hard liquor. 

[Brittany1116]

Just now, lauraw4321 said:

During the worst of the pandemic, it was easily 3-4 drinks a night. I’ve cut way back. I will not drink at all a couple nights a week. But it feels like a reward and a way to unwind. I drink beer or wine. I don’t drink hard liquor. 

Ok so you have already made some progress.  That's good news. How did you get from 3/4 to 1/2? 

 

[Jean in Newcastle]

7 minutes ago, EKS said:

There is literally no way that a person who drinks 1-2 drinks per day is physically dependent.

That is not true. At all. 
 

Someone can be dependent at that level. They can also be functional at that level. Being a functional alcoholic is a problem. A doctor is definitely the place to start. 

[lauraw4321]

1 minute ago, Brittany1116 said:

Ok so you have already made some progress.  That's good news. How did you get from 3/4 to 1/2? 

 

My mom got diagnosed with cancer and the increase cancer risk scared me? 🤷‍♀️ But I rationally know that my level of drinking also increases risk and yet here I am. 
 

I think I may have to buy myself ice cream or something to replace it with. Something really decadent. And then scale that back. It’s hard to judge which is worse. 

[saraha]

((( @lauraw4321)))

[Sneezyone]

8 minutes ago, lauraw4321 said:

During the worst of the pandemic, it was easily 3-4 drinks a night. I’ve cut way back. I will not drink at all a couple nights a week. But it feels like a reward and a way to unwind. I drink beer or wine. I don’t drink hard liquor. 

So...TMI ahead. Are there any other rewards that you could substitute that won't add a ton of calories (although wine does too)? A long soak in the tub, uninterrupted, or time reading a steamy novel? Or, yeah, I use DH. Can you wear yourself out physically by working in the yard or bicycling?

Edited February 13, 2022 by Sneezyone

[lauraw4321]

@Sneezyone Good suggestions, but tea is very rare here. We don’t have a lot of privacy. And alcohol is pretty much always involved in tea. But it’s an interesting thought. 

[Slache]

28 minutes ago, lauraw4321 said:

I’m not sure I can. 😭

Honey, that's alcoholism. You need to stop now.

[Sneezyone]

5 minutes ago, lauraw4321 said:

@Sneezyone Good suggestions, but tea is very rare here. We don’t have a lot of privacy. And alcohol is pretty much always involved in tea. But it’s an interesting thought. 

Any outdoor opportunities? I would seriously consider attending an AA meeting or two. Even as an observer. They don't make you talk. My dad has gone for years and he stopped drinking 20 years ago. It's just a good place to fellowship. There may even be some that specifically cater to women.

Edited February 13, 2022 by Sneezyone

[lauraw4321]

1 minute ago, Slache said:

Honey, that's alcoholism. You need to stop now.

I don’t think you understand. I have tried to stop. It’s not so easy as just stopping. It’s an addictive substance. I’m 100% functional. I’m looking for suggestions to help me get control. “Just stop” isn’t a helpful one. 

[Slache]

2 minutes ago, lauraw4321 said:

I don’t think you understand. I have tried to stop. It’s not so easy as just stopping. It’s an addictive substance. I’m 100% functional. I’m looking for suggestions to help me get control. “Just stop” isn’t a helpful one. 

No, I don't. I hear you completely, but I haven't been there. Have you considered a rehab facility?

[Slache]

Alcoholics cannot control alcohol consumption. Sobriety is the only answer.

[Sneezyone]

Just now, Slache said:

No, I don't. I hear you completely, but I haven't been there. Have you considered a rehab facility?

OMG, are you serious RN? Most people a) cannot afford rehab and b) she has small children and a spouse who presumably cannot handle the children AND WORK FT in her absence. Sobriety doesn't always happen all at once. Women are particularly inclined to downplay overconsumption as relaxation and unwinding. Talk therapy (via AA or something/someone else), time-killing replacement activities (volunteerism, kids' activities, personal gym membership), tapering off over time to reduce withdrawal symptoms...that works.

[lauraw4321]

8 minutes ago, Slache said:

No, I don't. I hear you completely, but I haven't been there. Have you considered a rehab facility?

Absolutely not. Not an option. 

[Slache]

3 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

OMG, are you serious RN? Most people a) cannot afford rehab and b) she has small children and a spouse who presumably cannot handle the children AND WORK FT in her absence. Sobriety doesn't always happen all at once. Women are particularly inclined to downplay overconsumption as relaxation and unwinding. Talk therapy (via AA or something/someone else), time-killing replacement activities (volunteerism, kids' activities, personal gym membership), tapering off over time to reduce withdrawal symptoms...that works.

Her children are old enough to be left at home alone in most states and if not you do not know whether or not she can afford a babysitter. There are outpatient facilities and there are scholarships. You don't know what resources she has, you don't know what is available to her and your response is not helpful.

[lauraw4321]

31 minutes ago, wintermom said:

How long has it taken you to get to this point? Is it a long-term thing, or has it crept up on you after a difficult situation?

When I got to a point where the amount I drank was sneaking up higher than I wanted, I asked myself a couple questions. Why are you drinking? What are the negative impacts you are feeling when you drink? At first, drinking helped me get to sleep, and I needed the help. But then it wasn't helpful anymore. I wasn't drinking socially; it was a sleep aid at a stressful time in my life. I was able to quit cold turkey. I just set a date, let my dh know, and stopped buying alcohol. If someone else in the house is drinking with you, you could both agree to stop for a period of time. 

 

I’m in therapy. I will try to make this issue the focus of our work. 

[Slache]

I'm sorry you're going through this.

[whitestavern]

I’ve been there. It’s tough. Does your husband drink as well? Me and dh felt we were drinking more often than we were comfortable with. We agreed to stop drinking during the week. The vast majority of the time we comply, but every once in a while we fall off. A dinner with friends or a vacation etc. We feel good where we are at now. Timing an activity during cocktail hour might help. Like taking a walk or doing exercise, calling a friend or working on a hobby. Feel free to PM if you need to talk more/need support. 

[prairiewindmomma]

You are in a whole lot of hard—working FT, challenging kids, challenging family, really sick mom…. How is the rest of your self care going? (You don’t need to answer here, but when I am not coping well with life, something here has fallen off.)

If you haven’t been able to cut back in quantity, can you cut back in ABV while you work out your next steps in therapy? Can you create a rule for yourself that you walk around the block or do some type of interrupting thing before you crack the next bottle? 
 

You are being super brave in being so forthcoming. I just wanted to commend you for that and thank you for sharing. I’d .02 that there are others here who see this and think that it could apply to them too. Hugs!!
 

 

[Terabith]

Honestly, the line between addiction and physical dependency is fuzzy and confusing to me, and I am in no way an expert in this, or even a knowledgeable amateur.  But I've heard from some experts in the field that the line about "Sobriety being the only solution," actually can make things worse and that sometimes working on harm reduction and ways to reduce usage without completely stopping can work better for some people, even for some addicts.  

[Katy]

Quitting drinking when you’re dependent can kill you. Talk to your doctor.

ETA: be totally honest. There are medications and rapid detox methods, but I’m not up to date. If it’s that hard it may be because it’s dangerous. 

The difference between dependence and addiction is emotional. If you use a substance to numb your emotions it’s addiction. If you develop a dependence to something you take for medical reasons but emotions aren’t involved it’s much easier to stop. 

Edited February 13, 2022 by Katy

[lauraw4321]

1 minute ago, whitestavern said:

I’ve been there. It’s tough. Does your husband drink as well? Me and dh felt we were drinking more often than we were comfortable with. We agreed to stop drinking during the week. The vast majority of the time we comply, but every once in a while we fall off. A dinner with friends or a vacation etc. We feel good where we are at now. Timing an activity during cocktail hour might help. Like taking a walk or doing exercise, calling a friend or working on a hobby. Feel free to PM if you need to talk more/need support. 

DH and I just talked and agreed no alcohol until Friday. It would be the longest I’ve gone without a drink in 2 years probably. He wants to help and has less of an issue than I do. We’ll see.  I know I should be able to do that. If I can’t, that’s a really bad sign. 

[Sneezyone]

1 minute ago, lauraw4321 said:

DH and I just talked and agreed no alcohol until Friday. It would be the longest I’ve gone without a drink in 2 years probably. He wants to help and has less of an issue than I do. We’ll see.  I know I should be able to do that. If I can’t, that’s a really bad sign. 

If you need support, we can even create it here. Start a thread when you're bored and have the urge to sip. I'm POSITIVE there will be many of us awake and alert enough to talk about everything and nothing.

Edited February 13, 2022 by Sneezyone

[lauraw4321]

1 minute ago, Katy said:

Quitting drinking when you’re dependent can kill you. Talk to your doctor.

If I can go 2-3 days with no side effects I don’t think I’m physically dependent. 

[lauraw4321]

3 minutes ago, Terabith said:

Honestly, the line between addiction and physical dependency is fuzzy and confusing to me, and I am in no way an expert in this, or even a knowledgeable amateur.  But I've heard from some experts in the field that the line about "Sobriety being the only solution," actually can make things worse and that sometimes working on harm reduction and ways to reduce usage without completely stopping can work better for some people, even for some addicts.  

I’ve cut back the ABV a lot. But thanks for this. 

[Slache]

Beautiful first step!

[Sneezyone]

2 minutes ago, lauraw4321 said:

If I can go 2-3 days with no side effects I don’t think I’m physically dependent. 

Side effects aren't just physical. It's the emotional/mental pull too. I've done so well for three days! I can have a glass now! That's part of it too. You can go a week, or two, or six and then slip back.

Edited February 13, 2022 by Sneezyone

[whitestavern]

Just now, lauraw4321 said:

DH and I just talked and agreed no alcohol until Friday. It would be the longest I’ve gone without a drink in 2 years probably. He wants to help and has less of an issue than I do. We’ll see.  I know I should be able to do that. If I can’t, that’s a really bad sign. 

That’s great. Feel good about taking this step! If rewards help, give yourself a treat on Wednesday. I’m not familiar with your circumstances but it sound like you’re under a lot of stress. Can you get out for a quick pedicure or massage? Or could dh make dinner and clean up afterwards? An hour to yourself for a book and bath? If ice cream will help, indulge a little this week. Maybe go to bed a little earlier each night too. 

[lauraw4321]

8 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

You are in a whole lot of hard—working FT, challenging kids, challenging family, really sick mom…. How is the rest of your self care going? (You don’t need to answer here, but when I am not coping well with life, something here has fallen off.)

If you haven’t been able to cut back in quantity, can you cut back in ABV while you work out your next steps in therapy? Can you create a rule for yourself that you walk around the block or do some type of interrupting thing before you crack the next bottle? 
 

You are being super brave in being so forthcoming. I just wanted to commend you for that and thank you for sharing. I’d .02 that there are others here who see this and think that it could apply to them too. Hugs!!
 

 

Thank you. Honestly, I’m doing all the things I’m supposed to!!! I walk 3 miles outside every day. I take my antidepressants. I do things I enjoy -knit, read, podcasts. I’m in therapy. I do something social at least once a week (even though I have to make myself -I always enjoy it afterward). I eat WPB  around 70% of the time. I don’t have any more time for any more self care. 🤪

Edited February 13, 2022 by lauraw4321

[Slache]

My husband, a recovered addict, asked me to post this:

The question you really need to ask and honestly answer to yourself is whether it's a matter of being unable to stop, or unwilling. The fact that you say it's five days a week suggests to me that you can quit. It sounds like a psychological addiction, rather than a physical one. 

Psychological addictions are often associated with a routine. For example, you work Monday through Friday, and when you get home, you have a couple of drinks. I would recommend instead of drinking, maybe go for a walk, work out, paint for an hour each day, etc. Maybe even consider dialing it back incrementally. Go from five days a week to four. Do that for a couple of weeks, then take it back to three, and so on.

A physical addiction would be a bit trickier to beat, and in such a case I would say that total abstinence would be the only solution, but a physical addiction would most likely have already become a daily habit. However, if you believe it may be physical, then I would definitely recommend some form of rehab.

[lauraw4321]

3 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

Side effects aren't just physical. It's the emotional/mental pull too. I've done so well for three days! I can have a glass now! That's part of it too. You can go a week, or two, or six and then slip back.

Hmm. Maybe I’m not sure what physically dependent means then. But I don’t think I’m harming myself by not drinking. I don’t think I need a doctor’s supervision to stop safely. I’ve recently had liver tests - totally healthy- so I haven’t destroyed my body. Yet. 

[Anne Elliot]

I started buying those little cartons of wine. Just one at a time. I basically made it inconvenient to drink more.

For me, I noticed that the craving for wine was linked to the craving for sugar. So when I reduced the amount of sugar I was taking in (I stopped drinking soda), I wanted wine less. 

[lauraw4321]

4 minutes ago, whitestavern said:

That’s great. Feel good about taking this step! If rewards help, give yourself a treat on Wednesday. I’m not familiar with your circumstances but it sound like you’re under a lot of stress. Can you get out for a quick pedicure or massage? Or could dh make dinner and clean up afterwards? An hour to yourself for a book and bath? If ice cream will help, indulge a little this week. Maybe go to bed a little earlier each night too. 

Going to bed early is how I avoid alcohol 99% of the time. It’s a good habit anyway because I’d like to get up earlier and have some time to myself. So two birds, one stone. 

[Laura Corin]

I replaced my relaxation drink with hot milky decaff tea. I wanted something relaxing to mark the end of the day, but I discovered it didn't really matter whether it was alcohol or not.

[Sneezyone]

 

 

Just now, lauraw4321 said:

Hmm. Maybe I’m not sure what physically dependent means then. But I don’t think I’m harming myself by not drinking. I don’t think I need a doctor’s supervision to stop safely. I’ve recently had liver tests - totally healthy- so I haven’t destroyed my body. Yet. 

Recent liver tests are a good indication that you're not currently at risk of permanent harm. Psychological dependence (using it to deal with boredom, difficult feelings, pent up emotions) is also a physical indication of dependence tho. The brain isn't separate from your body. If you can manage that piece you'll be good. :)

[Toocrazy!!]

There’s a good book and podcast called this naked mind that deals with this. If you’re on Facebook or Instagram there’s a huge movement of sober sisters, dry January that you might find helpful. Once you find one, it will lead you to others.
I drink more often than I should, so I give it up for a month at a time every once in awhile to cut back. It’s a bad habit for me. Once I go a few days without, I’m ok. But it’s hard. It’s part of my life. 
I do not like non alcoholic wine, but n/A beer does satisfy me.