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Posted (edited)

She’s 34.  31 weeks pregnant. Two young daughters. No underlying medical conditions.

Intubated, proned, declined remdesivir treatment early on, unvaccinated. It’s Florida so no masks ever. They’re doing a c section because Mom isn’t expected to survive the weekend.  Her grandfather and mother died of Covid last week.

my sister is so upset, and sending me the medical records the husband is showing her because they’re struggling to get information out of the hospital and understand it, but can access a lot on the hospital’s internet patient portal, and I can explain it to them. Her vent settings are horrible.  She’s maxed out on Fi02 and Peep—basically oxygen and the pressure pushing it into her lungs.

I am struggling within myself to find compassion for people who don’t get vaccinated because they don’t believe in Covid and then decline scientifically based treatment. I know I’m just done. But I also don’t want to not have compassion. 
(also, I’ve had a remarkable number of patients with Covid and a low Spo2, struggling to breathe, the last week who told me they weren’t vaccinated because they “didn’t believe in Covid,” and I’m having the worst time not saying, “Well, Covid believes in you.”  This isn’t the person I want to be.)

 

update: 

From my sister:

Baby girl was born two months early Saturday morning. She’s doing very well and is off the vent.  They have not named her yet; they’re hoping Mom can wake up and choose the name. 

Mom is on ECMO now as a last ditch effort. Her name is Brittany, if you want to pray/light candles/keep her in your thoughts by name.

Edited by Mrs Tiggywinkle
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Posted

See it's stories like this that actually create/revive compassion in my heart for people making these very foolish choices. When I think of the ones who are 'idiots and getting away with it' -- I'm bothered. At Walmart and the library! That's not okay. I want them to take serious things seriously. I want them to stop risking themselves and others. I almost want them to see some consequences.

But when they are actually struggling to breathe; lying dying; having a C-section to rescue a baby they can no longer gestate; leaving children without a mother. That's when my sense of caring comes back to me. In my deep heart, I don't actually want them to have any consequences. I want them to be stupid and alive and back at Walmart shooting their opinions and making fools of themselves. If only they could be.

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Posted (edited)

I have zero patience left with people who spread the disinformation she undoubtedly based her decision on. 

(When prolife Christians pass along disinformation, then I think they need to be disfellowshipped by their churches.)

Edited by kbutton
fixed typo
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Posted

I am so very sorry.

I never thought in my life time, with all the advances we would have something that would kill entire families and leave children without a parent or orphaned. :sad:

 

 

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Posted

How heartbreaking. 😞

A friend of mine from high school was in a similar position during the H1N1 flu in 2009.  Her baby -- her first child -- made it, but my friend did not.

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Posted

There was an eerily similar story here, 30s pregnant mom, vocal antivaxxer They we're just talking induction when a new drug was tried and there was a quick turnaround. No change, saying it was a good thing they didn't vax posting some BS from Fox, entirely ignoring the affect on vac of hospitalizations. It is very sad and unnecessary. So many people with blood on their hands. News group, personalities, Facebook.

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Posted

I admit it, sometimes I want retribution and justice.

But I've been really stupid, too, sometimes, and thankfully most of the time I haven't gotten what I deserve.

She is so young to die, and her kids are so young to be without a mom. It's terrible.

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Posted
3 hours ago, DreamerGirl said:

 

I never thought in my life time, with all the advances we would have something that would kill entire families and leave children without a parent or orphaned. :sad:

 

 

My stepson is a firefighter/paramedic but he usually works the paramedic aspect. He's transported numerous people to the hospital. Since the vaccine became available virtually all of the people he transported have been unvaccinated. His most heartbreaking story was transporting an unvaccinated father who later died at the hospital. Not 2 weeks later he was called to the same house because the mother was ill. There were 3 children 8 and under. He's the father of 3 children 9 and under himself. He didn't know what to do about the kids and couldn't leave them home alone, so he brought them with him to the hospital until they could contact a family member. The mother later died as well leaving those poor kids orphaned. 😢

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Posted
4 hours ago, bolt. said:

See it's stories like this that actually create/revive compassion in my heart for people making these very foolish choices. When I think of the ones who are 'idiots and getting away with it' -- I'm bothered. At Walmart and the library! That's not okay. I want them to take serious things seriously. I want them to stop risking themselves and others. I almost want them to see some consequences.

But when they are actually struggling to breathe; lying dying; having a C-section to rescue a baby they can no longer gestate; leaving children without a mother. That's when my sense of caring comes back to me. In my deep heart, I don't actually want them to have any consequences. I want them to be stupid and alive and back at Walmart shooting their opinions and making fools of themselves. If only they could be.

I am right there with you. I can only feel sad for people in this situation. I feel like they have been lied to and fell for misinformation. It is horrible that this is happening in a country with widely-available vaccines 😞

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Posted

I am so sorry. 
 

Since my two childhood friends died last week, I am now hearing several horrifying stories about relatively young, otherwise healthy folks dying from COVID. I suppose it makes statistical sense because it was so obvious we had an extreme surge of cases here around and just after Christmas. Even just as anecdata, I personally knew SO many positive cases, vaxed and unvaxed, it makes sense (though it’s still horrible) that some of those people are dying now. 
 

Just talked to a client today who said it went through their family and, like most families, there were anti-vax factions and vax factions. One of the antis, the client’s nephew, 40 years old, only asthma as a comorbidity, died. Leaves four kids without a dad. 
 

Another client I was talking to said a fellow nurse at her medical practice just lost two brothers-in-law three days apart. Less than 50 years old, both were brothers. 

This nurse was also telling me that is the biggest misconception she sees: people thinking younger people “don’t” die from Covid. She also talked at length about the difference made by viral load; she said when people die, they are much more likely to have gotten it from a spouse or partner. People who get it, say, from a clerk at Walmart have a lower viral load and are less likely to have a severe outcome. Anecdotally, that jibes with what I have seen. 

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Posted
38 minutes ago, Quill said:

I am so sorry. 
 

Since my two childhood friends died last week, I am now hearing several horrifying stories about relatively young, otherwise healthy folks dying from COVID. I suppose it makes statistical sense because it was so obvious we had an extreme surge of cases here around and just after Christmas. Even just as anecdata, I personally knew SO many positive cases, vaxed and unvaxed, it makes sense (though it’s still horrible) that some of those people are dying now. 
 

Just talked to a client today who said it went through their family and, like most families, there were anti-vax factions and vax factions. One of the antis, the client’s nephew, 40 years old, only asthma as a comorbidity, died. Leaves four kids without a dad. 
 

Another client I was talking to said a fellow nurse at her medical practice just lost two brothers-in-law three days apart. Less than 50 years old, both were brothers. 

This nurse was also telling me that is the biggest misconception she sees: people thinking younger people “don’t” die from Covid. She also talked at length about the difference made by viral load; she said when people die, they are much more likely to have gotten it from a spouse or partner. People who get it, say, from a clerk at Walmart have a lower viral load and are less likely to have a severe outcome. Anecdotally, that jibes with what I have seen. 

So sad. So scary. With omicron, so many don’t even know they have it. Can you still get a damaging viral load from an asymptomatic person?  

Posted
1 hour ago, PeppermintPattie said:

Why might someone refuse remdesivir treatment? I didn't realize it was controversial.

 

This is such a heartbreaking story. 

 

There was a horrible post going around social media several months ago saying whatever you do if you get covid do not go to the hospital. Their treatments are worse than this "cold". If you go refuse remdesiver because that is that is actually killing people, not covid.  True story I saw it and saw it shared by people I know. I got in an person "discussion" with someone about it as well. 

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Posted
7 hours ago, PeppermintPattie said:

Why might someone refuse remdesivir treatment? I didn't realize it was controversial.

 

This is such a heartbreaking story. 

 

I don’t know.  I didn’t ask my sister. But it was right in the medical records that they sent me asking me to explain some of it—that she’d refused remdesivir. Since her mother and grandfather recently died of Covid I wondered if she was one who believed the treatment made it worse, but that’s just speculation.

It is just heartbreaking everywhere I turn. 

8 hours ago, Lady Florida. said:

My stepson is a firefighter/paramedic but he usually works the paramedic aspect. He's transported numerous people to the hospital. Since the vaccine became available virtually all of the people he transported have been unvaccinated. His most heartbreaking story was transporting an unvaccinated father who later died at the hospital. Not 2 weeks later he was called to the same house because the mother was ill. There were 3 children 8 and under. He's the father of 3 children 9 and under himself. He didn't know what to do about the kids and couldn't leave them home alone, so he brought them with him to the hospital until they could contact a family member. The mother later died as well leaving those poor kids orphaned. 😢

The same here—I’ve transported a couple vaccinated people with Covid who have been feeling lousy or had a low Spo2 that came right up when I gave them from oxygen, but anyone who has been significantly ill was unvaccinated. 

Last fall I had a patient, a middle age father, who woke up unable to breathe in the middle of the night. He was bad enough that I asked the wife to wake up their young children before I took him so they say goodbye.  I was pretty sure he wasn’t coming home. He was a local pastor of a local “just trust God, not the vaccines” church, and I followed his progress on their FB page. I was right; he never came home, and now his homeschooling, never held a job wife is struggling.

Its all so unnecessary at this point, and that makes it doubly worse.

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Posted
7 hours ago, KrisTom said:

So sad. So scary. With omicron, so many don’t even know they have it. Can you still get a damaging viral load from an asymptomatic person?  

It’s possible I dont know what I’m talking about but I *think* it’s unlikely, because sicker people have a higher viral load while less symptomatic or asymptomatic have a lower viral load. We know that kids are likeliest to have asymptomatic cases and they have lower viral loads. 

From pure anecdote: when dh got Covid, he most likely got it at a keroke bar. His case was pretty mild and it is likely his viral load was low. 

Posted (edited)
10 hours ago, Lady Florida. said:

My stepson is a firefighter/paramedic but he usually works the paramedic aspect. He's transported numerous people to the hospital. Since the vaccine became available virtually all of the people he transported have been unvaccinated. His most heartbreaking story was transporting an unvaccinated father who later died at the hospital. Not 2 weeks later he was called to the same house because the mother was ill. There were 3 children 8 and under. He's the father of 3 children 9 and under himself. He didn't know what to do about the kids and couldn't leave them home alone, so he brought them with him to the hospital until they could contact a family member. The mother later died as well leaving those poor kids orphaned. 😢

167,000 children (and counting) have been orphaned as a result of one or both parents dying of Covid. The US is still losing ~2,500 people a day to Covid, but just this morning I saw a FB post by someone claiming that, since the total # of dead in the US is still <1%, that the whole Covid thing has been vastly overblown.

8 hours ago, PeppermintPattie said:

Why might someone refuse remdesivir treatment? I didn't realize it was controversial.

*Many* anti-vaxxers believe that remdesivir (and ventilators) are what's killing people in the hospital, not Covid. HCWs in my extended circle say that a # of Covid patients come in to the hospital with cafeteria lists of what is allowed and not allowed (no remdesivir and no ventilation are the most common....and, of course, 'no vaccination').

 

Edited by Happy2BaMom
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Posted

I'm sorry to hear about that neighbor and sorry to hear you're struggling with having compassion. I completely understand how you feel and would likely be in the same situation you are if I had to care for so many covid patients.

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Posted

That's terribly sad.  Sometimes I wish everyone would hear more stories like this so that they'd realize their anti-vax theories were baseless.  But of course, I don't want people to die in order to have a story to teach a lesson.

What helps give me compassion toward them is the realization that they're a product of their own environment and upbringing.  I'm a product of mine, too.

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Posted
2 hours ago, Quill said:

It’s possible I dont know what I’m talking about but I *think* it’s unlikely, because sicker people have a higher viral load while less symptomatic or asymptomatic have a lower viral load. We know that kids are likeliest to have asymptomatic cases and they have lower viral loads. 

From pure anecdote: when dh got Covid, he most likely got it at a keroke bar. His case was pretty mild and it is likely his viral load was low. 

Thank you. Glad he had a mild case only, and that makes sense. I’m still afraid getting it and having something bad happen, despite vaccination. 

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Posted
9 hours ago, busymama7 said:

There was a horrible post going around social media several months ago saying whatever you do if you get covid do not go to the hospital. Their treatments are worse than this "cold". If you go refuse remdesiver because that is that is actually killing people, not covid.  True story I saw it and saw it shared by people I know. I got in an person "discussion" with someone about it as well. 

1 hour ago, Happy2BaMom said:

*Many* anti-vaxxers believe that remdesivir (and ventilators) are what's killing people in the hospital, not Covid. HCWs in my extended circle say that a # of Covid patients come in to the hospital with cafeteria lists of what is allowed and not allowed (no remdesivir and no ventilation are the most common....and, of course, 'no vaccination').

The purveyor of this nonsense that the right wingers in my circles pass around is a right wing radio/podcast talk show host Kate Dalley. I watched her entire 20-minute expose on her husband's hospitalization for Covid to see what people around me are listening to (someone had posted it in the comments of a friend's FB page).

The person who posted it claims to get a lot of "persecution" for telling the truth by posting stuff like this, but every time I saw her post stuff like this in someone's thread, she was roundly applauded, and any pushback was MILD. I unfriended her very, very early on, which is something I'd only done to people once or twice prior to 2020, so I am guessing her page was full of this. I am pretty sure I didn't get much past March or April of 2020 before unfriending her because she posted so many, many lies, including lies about vaccines that had not been developed yet. She has high trust and sky high loyalties in the church we left during the pandemic (even though I think she goes elsewhere now) and in the local homeschooling community. I cannot believe that (at least prior to our leaving), the most my pastor said while these vile lies have ripped through my church is something like, "Don't fall for that conspiracy theory nonsense." That's it. A one-liner, timed mostly as if it's not real, and he just wants to not be bothered to have to deal with it. People who still attend tell me that every Sunday is like the pandemic is not happening. They don't talk about it at all.

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Posted

I am so sorry. I feel for the children of adults who make these decisions. 

Hospitalizations in my town are at an all time high. Still, the social media comments from my city are mostly anti-science and talking about how Covid is just a cold. 

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Posted
16 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle said:

She’s 34.  31 weeks pregnant. Two young daughters. No underlying medical conditions.

Intubated, proned, declined remdesivir treatment early on, unvaccinated. It’s Florida so no masks ever. They’re doing a c section because Mom isn’t expected to survive the weekend.  Her grandfather and mother died of Covid last week.

my sister is so upset, and sending me the medical records the husband is showing her because they’re struggling to get information out of the hospital and understand it, but can access a lot on the hospital’s internet patient portal, and I can explain it to them. Her vent settings are horrible.  She’s maxed out on Fi02 and Peep—basically oxygen and the pressure pushing it into her lungs.

I am struggling within myself to find compassion for people who don’t get vaccinated because they don’t believe in Covid and then decline scientifically based treatment. I know I’m just done. But I also don’t want to not have compassion. 
(also, I’ve had a remarkable number of patients with Covid and a low Spo2, struggling to breathe, the last week who told me they weren’t vaccinated because they “didn’t believe in Covid,” and I’m having the worst time not saying, “Well, Covid believes in you.”  This isn’t the person I want to be.)

There’s more likely to be a complete cure for covid than stupidity.  So my compassion comes down to: “Forgive them, they know not what they do.”

Because they really don’t. We could spend years on the psychology of why that is but it isn’t going to change it anytime soon.

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Posted
4 hours ago, Happy2BaMom said:

 

*Many* anti-vaxxers believe that remdesivir (and ventilators) are what's killing people in the hospital, not Covid. HCWs in my extended circle say that a # of Covid patients come in to the hospital with cafeteria lists of what is allowed and not allowed (no remdesivir and no ventilation are the most common....and, of course, 'no vaccination').

 

I've heard of patients, even non-covid pts, who refuse blood because it's not screened for vaccination. As in, if I can't have non vaccinated blood, I don't want any blood at all. It's stunning.

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Posted

Meanwhile, I found out I have an elderly relative currently having a heart attack who has had chest pain since Sunday but wouldn't go in until today because he's afraid of getting Covid. When I say elderly, it's only a number--he's the poster child for likely to live an active life to age 100. He wouldn't have to fret a trip to the ER if people weren't so stupid (and I don't know if he is vaccinated or not--he might be lying low out of both a fear of Covid and a fear of the vaccine). His wife got Covid while in hospice in 2020. 

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Posted
19 minutes ago, sassenach said:

I've heard of patients, even non-covid pts, who refuse blood because it's not screened for vaccination. As in, if I can't have non vaccinated blood, I don't want any blood at all. It's stunning.

Geez, maybe these people shouldn't even both getting medical care and wasting other people's time.  I know not everything is pleasant, but I still believe doctors and nurses know more than I do in terms of medical care, seeing that I didn't go to medical school and don't have a nursing degree.  I just wonder what these same people did before Covid.

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Posted (edited)
2 minutes ago, kbutton said:

Meanwhile, I found out I have an elderly relative currently having a heart attack who has had chest pain since Sunday but wouldn't go in until today because he's afraid of getting Covid. When I say elderly, it's only a number--he's the poster child for likely to live an active life to age 100. He wouldn't have to fret a trip to the ER if people weren't so stupid (and I don't know if he is vaccinated or not--he might be lying low out of both a fear of Covid and a fear of the vaccine). His wife got Covid while in hospice in 2020. 

That's been another issue during the pandemic. 😞  I am glad he went in to get care.  I do hope he will be okay.  Yeah, the same people who think Covid was designed to depopulate the earth make icky statements such as the elderly and immunocomp not mattering.  

Edited by KrisTom
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Posted
8 minutes ago, kbutton said:

Meanwhile, I found out I have an elderly relative currently having a heart attack who has had chest pain since Sunday but wouldn't go in until today because he's afraid of getting Covid. When I say elderly, it's only a number--he's the poster child for likely to live an active life to age 100. He wouldn't have to fret a trip to the ER if people weren't so stupid (and I don't know if he is vaccinated or not--he might be lying low out of both a fear of Covid and a fear of the vaccine). His wife got Covid while in hospice in 2020. 

Oh poor man.

Dd got a concussion at work this week and we really tried to avoid the ER but work made her go. Didn’t want to leave with Covid and a head injury!

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Posted

The sentiment that "this is not who I want to be" really resonates with me.

Dh thinks there is a lot of political space right now for someone who comes in and really hardcore demonizes the people who refuse to do these basic things. Like, there's a lot of hate building up against the people who are conspiracy nuts - the people who don't believe in Covid, the people sucked into Qanon stuff, the people who tried to overthrow the election (and are still trying), people who are just generally anti-education, anti-science, anti-life. Instead of the traditional, we need to do better and educate, we need to do more to help, we need to serve everyone no matter their stance, reach out, etc. - I think a lot of people are ready to cut them loose, including from medical treatment.

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Posted
3 minutes ago, Farrar said:

Dh thinks there is a lot of political space right now for someone who comes in and really hardcore demonizes the people who refuse to do these basic things. Like, there's a lot of hate building up against the people who are conspiracy nuts - the people who don't believe in Covid, the people sucked into Qanon stuff, the people who tried to overthrow the election (and are still trying), people who are just generally anti-education, anti-science, anti-life. Instead of the traditional, we need to do better and educate, we need to do more to help, we need to serve everyone no matter their stance, reach out, etc. - I think a lot of people are ready to cut them loose, including from medical treatment.

My area would become a powder keg with this approach. I am really concerned about what will happen going forward. I think a hard stance from the left will galvanize the nut jobs and confirm their paranoia. We need community leaders on the right to stop the nonsense. I keep hearing reports of people in leadership who are just too intimidated to act, including leadership on the right. The "If I stick my neck out, they'll vote in someone really crazy" fear is real (at least here), but they are nuts if they think there will be a better moment to speak into the situation. Local stuff has been really close--a local election where the top 2 of 3 candidates get the job was almost an even split three ways, and crazy man lost by a very slim margin. 

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Posted
7 minutes ago, kbutton said:

My area would become a powder keg with this approach. I am really concerned about what will happen going forward. I think a hard stance from the left will galvanize the nut jobs and confirm their paranoia. We need community leaders on the right to stop the nonsense. I keep hearing reports of people in leadership who are just too intimidated to act, including leadership on the right. The "If I stick my neck out, they'll vote in someone really crazy" fear is real (at least here), but they are nuts if they think there will be a better moment to speak into the situation. Local stuff has been really close--a local election where the top 2 of 3 candidates get the job was almost an even split three ways, and crazy man lost by a very slim margin. 

I don't disagree with this. My point is that I think conditions for a leftist populist are really strong right now essentially.

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Posted

On a separate (but I think related) topic:

Russia sees record population decline in 2021, with 1,000,000 excess deaths during the pandemic (start to end of 2021). Not all of those were Covid, but many were also related to the pandemic (lack of health care, drugs, depression, etc) and, according to many sources, Russia has been undercounting Covid deaths all along.

The US also has many more excess deaths than Covid deaths, as do many other countries in the world (depending on sources, somewhere between 2x - 4x more).

People seem to be willing to do/believe almost anything other than face reality with this virus.

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Posted
1 minute ago, Farrar said:

I don't disagree with this. My point is that I think conditions for a leftist populist are really strong right now essentially.

Not to derail this thread, but I am also really concerned about this occurring as well (said as a lifelong Left-supporting person). I don't see it happening for another 3-5 years (tho I certainly could be wrong), but I think the Right is completely missing the fact that all the norm-smashing, populist-rage-inducing, vote-suppressing moves, etc. they are making now could all easily be turned against them (& others) when a norm-smashing, charismatic, power-hungry Millenial(ish) leader rises on the Left in a few years, one who plays on the rage felt by minorities, women, and youth now. 

And even though I have my political leanings, I don't want that. It's why behavioral norms are so important, as well as protections for the minority party(ies).

****I now return you to your regularly-scheduled on-topic post(s).***

 

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Posted
13 hours ago, PeppermintPattie said:

Why might someone refuse remdesivir treatment? I didn't realize it was controversial.

 

This is such a heartbreaking story. 

 

An anti-vax family member had remdisivir and the family are convinced it *gave him* blood clots.  Not the virus, but the remdisivir.

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Posted
5 hours ago, Quill said:

It’s possible I dont know what I’m talking about but I *think* it’s unlikely, because sicker people have a higher viral load while less symptomatic or asymptomatic have a lower viral load. We know that kids are likeliest to have asymptomatic cases and they have lower viral loads. 

 

There was an initial thought (though honestly, never subscribed to by any of the people who were actually experts in the field) that kids carried low viral loads and didn’t spread much. Research has shown that not to be true, and the kids carry just as high viral load as adults.

https://www.health.harvard.edu/diseases-and-conditions/coronavirus-outbreak-and-kids

“Though the studies varied in their methods, their findings were similar: infected children had as much, or more, coronavirus in their upper respiratory tracts as infected adults. And a November 2021 study conducted by Harvard researchers again confirmed that children carry live virus capable of infecting others.

The amount of virus found in children — their viral load — was not correlated with the severity of their symptoms. In other words, a child with mild or no symptoms may have just as many viral particles in their nose and mouth as a child that has more severe symptoms. So, the presence of a high viral load in infected children increases the likelihood that children, even those without symptoms, could readily spread the infection to others.”

 

There have been a lot of studies trying to determine the correlation between viral load and disease severity, but so far, they have been inconclusive. Some show a correlation and some show no correlation.

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