Hilarious translations

[4KookieKids]

Actual conversation today:

12 yo: Heilige Kuh! Ich war —-
Me: ???
12 yo: Heilige Kuh!!
Me: ???
12 yo: Come on, mom, it’s German for "holy cow!"
Me: I actually knew that (thinking: I’m the one who taught you German…)…. But do you remember how we talked about idioms not translating verbatim very well??
12 yo: (blank stare)
10 yo: I think you meant, “Donnerwetter!” Auf Deutsch sagt mann Donnerwetter.

I almost died laughing at the idea of an actually holy cow.

FWIW: "Donnerwetter" translates to "Thunder weather." And yes, as ridiculous as it sounds in English to say something like, "Thunder weather!" when you're amazed at something (not weather related) is about how ridiculous it sounds to translate "holy cow" into German unless you're actually talking about sacred bovines.

Anyone else have any funny translations to share?

[Matryoshka]

50 minutes ago, 4KookieKids said:

Actual conversation today:

12 yo: Heilige Kuh! Ich war —-
Me: ???
12 yo: Heilige Kuh!!
Me: ???
12 yo: Come on, mom, it’s German for "holy cow!"
Me: I actually knew that (thinking: I’m the one who taught you German…)…. But do you remember how we talked about idioms not translating verbatim very well??
12 yo: (blank stare)
10 yo: I think you meant, “Donnerwetter!” Auf Deutsch sagt mann Donnerwetter.

I almost died laughing at the idea of an actually holy cow.

FWIW: "Donnerwetter" translates to "Thunder weather." And yes, as ridiculous as it sounds in English to say something like, "Thunder weather!" when you're amazed at something (not weather related) is about how ridiculous it sounds to translate "holy cow" into German unless you're actually talking about sacred bovines.

Anyone else have any funny translations to share?

Well not a translation, bur reminds me of one of my favorite German rhymes... 😁

Wunderbar, wunderbar, ist die Kuh mit Pferdehaar

Hat die Kuh kein Pferdehaar, dann ist sie auch nicht wunderbar

And yeah, doesn't translate so well! But maybe your 12yo will enjoy... 😆

[Tree Frog]

 I lived in Berlin as a teen with a German family. One day, I wanted to go window shopping. My German wasn't very good, so I tried the direct translation of fenster kaufen to try to explain what I was going to do. When I got blank stares, I had to explain that no, I wasn't going to buy windows. 

[HomeAgain]

Not exactly a hilarious translation, but I thought ds11 would enjoy taking a break from his Latin book last month and gave him Cattus Petasatus to work through.  He loved it.  Just adored it.  BUT - when I then made him sit down and translate it into English he got so mad. 
"This is a stupid book!  It doesn't even rhyme!"

And it took me a few minutes to realize that he had never read The Cat In The Hat in English, so when I asked him to translate it the story turned into a very prosy-prose version instead of the delightful romp it was in Latin. 😄

[Miss Tick]

We are all German learners here, but last week we had a good chuckle about "Guten Tschüss!"

[Matryoshka]

25 minutes ago, SusanC said:

We are all German learners here, but last week we had a good chuckle about "Guten Tschüss!"

A fun reverse literal translation is to say hi with the good old southern German greeting of "Greet God!"

[Miss Tick]

2 hours ago, Matryoshka said:

A fun reverse literal translation is to say hi with the good old southern German greeting of "Greet God!"

That could really inflate some egos!

[ieta_cassiopeia]

In my Japanese entry-level exam about transport, I tried to order a reserved seat. Being quite certain of the translation, I repeated the same phrase when challenged, whereupon the examiner nearly fell out of her chair laughing.

After wiping away her tears, she told me I had somehow accidentally ordered an oxygen seat.

(I failed the exam. For anyone wondering, "reserved" (shiteiseki) and "oxygen" (sansoseki) sound nothing like each other, and as I was informed in the exam room, most Japanese trains lack an oxygen seat!)

Edited January 22, 2022 by ieta_cassiopeia

[GracieJane]

On 1/19/2022 at 7:58 PM, Matryoshka said:

Well not a translation, bur reminds me of one of my favorite German rhymes... 😁

Wunderbar, wunderbar, ist die Kuh mit Pferdehaar

Hat die Kuh kein Pferdehaar, dann ist sie auch nicht wunderbar

And yeah, doesn't translate so well! But maybe your 12yo will enjoy... 😆

I speak what my family affectionately calls Germalish, which is when you throw the German word you can never remember into your conversation. I can never remember the English word for Schrank, it’s like a mental block, so everyone in my vicinity is forced to learn it’s meaning (same for Geschwindigkeit, Buntstifte and „doch!“).

[HomeAgain]

2 minutes ago, GracieJane said:

I speak what my family affectionately calls Germalish, which is when you throw the German word you can never remember into your conversation. I can never remember the English word for Schrank, it’s like a mental block, so everyone in my vicinity is forced to learn it’s meaning (same for Geschwindigkeit, Buntstifte and „doch!“).

My sister and I lived next door to each other after traveling.  She said schrank, I said shkaf, and both of us knew what the other was talking about but never bothered to think of it in English.  Our kids now use the words interchangeably as the only vocabulary for that. 😄

[GracieJane]

1 minute ago, HomeAgain said:

My sister and I lived next door to each other after traveling.  She said schrank, I said shkaf, and both of us knew what the other was talking about but never bothered to think of it in English.  Our kids now use the words interchangeably as the only vocabulary for that. 😄

There must be something „sticky“ in the brain about Schrank. I think it’s the „platonic ideal“ of the word for „tall wooden structure in the room“; that‘s why even English speakers reach for it as soon as they learn it. 😉 

[mellifera33]

2 hours ago, GracieJane said:

There must be something „sticky“ in the brain about Schrank. I think it’s the „platonic ideal“ of the word for „tall wooden structure in the room“; that‘s why even English speakers reach for it as soon as they learn it. 😉 

Maybe that's why one of the few words I remember from college German is Kuhlschrank.

[wisdomandtreasures]

We used to live a block away from the grocery store and would walk over if I needed something small for dinner, like a bunch of cilantro. I tried telling my husband "We went on foot" in Spanish, but instead "We went by farts".