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Good Hostess attempt (coffee question)


heartlikealion
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1 hour ago, skimomma said:

Dh and I are huge coffee snobs.  It is a serious problem and I really wish it weren't so.  We have an insanely expensive and ridiculous espresso machine at home.  I cannot even justify it.  I am a frugal frugal person.  This is out of my normal character that it is almost a dirty secret.  

I am a very frugal person, also, and DH gave me a very nice espresso machine about four years ago for a present.   It has a counter in the memory that we can see how many cups we have made over the life of the machine--when we see the thousands and thousands of cups we have made the machine doesn't seem so expensive--and when we think of how much all of thsoe cups would have cost at Starbucks we feel very frugal.  

It shocks me when we go to a nice restaurant and want a capuccino or espresso and the restaurant doesn't have an espresso maching or a way to make decent coffee.  In Italy, you find them everywhere--not just restaurants but cafes, gas stations, train stations... It couldn't be that expensive of an investment for a nice restaurant to amortize the expense. 

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13 minutes ago, Bootsie said:

If it were, Cafe Du Monde would have been out of business a long time ago.  

Growing up in south Louisiana, I never heard anyone say it was too hot for coffee.  I think my grandmother had a pot on the stove almost 24/7.   Now, tea was a different thing; I was an adult before I had anything besides iced tea.  

Their beignets alone can probably keep them in business. 

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18 hours ago, heartlikealion said:

For perspective — the nearest DD is an hr away and the nearest Starbucks is 45 min away. There are no close by mom & pop coffee shops, either. I think nearby you can maybe order a sweet tea but not sure about coffee. And they serve lunch so not open in morning probably. That’s why when family came at Christmas and kept asking questions about coffee it stressed me out. One sister slept here one night and in the hotel another and just used what I had (the iced thing) or went without that one day. We don’t have any major chains here. Another town over you can get locally made coffee I think but it’s out of the way. 

They know I am not a coffee drinker. I suggested they bring what they wanted over or tell me specifically what to get at the store. Originally I was expecting 3 coffee drinkers - my aunt and 2 sisters. And they are all different in their tastes. But in the end my aunt didn’t come because the drive was too hard on her knees (long car ride) and one sis got Covid. We weren’t sure who was sleeping here when at first. When the kids aren’t here I offer their bedrooms. 

I don’t have a garage or basement but I could squeeze a small appliance in the back of a cupboard. 

I know it sounds stupid but it causes me anxiety so I thought I’d rather just have the stuff than field 20 questions. Now the creamer is a good point… I hadn’t thought of that. Nor do I really want to keep coffee in my fridge 365 days to use one day a yr or so lol I’d probably just send the coffee home with them ha. 

Keep a French press on hand. (Under $10, and they don't take up much room.) Before family comes, ask them to bring a baggie of their favorite ground coffee with them, and they can make it in the french press. Buy fresh cream or half-and-half according to their preference, and you're all set. Simple, low, cost, no waste, and you've been a marvelous hostess. :-) 

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On visiting family members while being a coffee addict, I really need my afternoon coffee. Part of it is that I have a health issue that makes me tired and an espresso shot is better than adding an extra med dose at 2 pm, part is just that I am addicted. We were at an all day family party a few years ago, and I knew the hostess was a coffee drinker so didn’t bring a travel cup. Oops. At 2:30 or so, I was gasping. So, embarrassed though I was, I asked if we could make a cup. She has a K-cup machine, so I figured a one off would work. Oh my. She was so sweet, she said, “yes! I was just about to serve coffee! Give me a hand!” (I adore her!) … We then made individual cups, one at a time (wow, they take a while, when you’re desperate for caffeine!), and served them, one at a time to every adult in the house and yard. Maybe 22 cups? I thought I would die waiting for my turn. 🤣 Now I show up with an insulated travel mug. And I would just die if she ever learned this story, because she would feel bad, but wow did I learn my lesson!

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17 hours ago, Frances said:

So for the coffee experts, is there a difference in taste between using a French press and just the plastic cup insert with a paper filter? We have both, but for the rare times when my husband needs to make it rather than go pick one up for free (more often during the pandemic), he usually doesn’t use the French press because he says it’s messier to clean up and sometimes grounds get in the coffee. He doesn’t feel there is a taste advantage, but I’d say he has fairly simple coffee tastes. He could get whatever coffee drinks he wanted everyday for free at one of the local coffee shops, but always just gets the basic house blend with cream and Turbinado sugar.

Yes, I've heard a number of coffee lovers say they don't care for the pour-overs because they make a weak cup of coffee. 

I'm not a coffee drinker, so I've always wondered why you couldn't pour it through the grounds twice, but what do I know.  I'll have to ask one that I work with. (Maybe it would be too cool on the second time around unless the mugs were pre-heated.)

 

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12 minutes ago, Bootsie said:

 

It shocks me when we go to a nice restaurant and want a capuccino or espresso and the restaurant doesn't have an espresso maching or a way to make decent coffee.  In Italy, you find them everywhere--not just restaurants but cafes, gas stations, train stations... It couldn't be that expensive of an investment for a nice restaurant to amortize the expense. 

I suspect that our travels to Europe, including Italy, is where my coffee snobbery started.  They do not mess around!

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46 minutes ago, ktgrok said:

I mean, maybe if they are roasting two they have a mail order business that pays the bills? But that description makes me think they are out… Less than practical.

I can't stand my parents coffee. I actually don't think it is them I think it is the water at their residence. Because I brought my own coffee before I made it myself and it still tasted weird. For years I would need to run to target across the street which happen to have a Starbucks, lol. And we would hit the gas station on the way home for coffee. This past year they put in a Starbucks down the street right on the way to the highway which is awesome. 

I call a certain popular brand of coffee the F word of coffee. Nasty stuff.  I’m a firm believers that nasty coffee is why so many people have to pour a ton of cream and sugar into it to make it palatable. I used to drink my coffee that way and once I weaned to black coffee, I found that I’m very picky about it has to be fresh and decent coffee. I love my Kirklands coffee tho. It doesn’t have to be crazy twin priced. 

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If space is a big deal, I used one of these travel/collapsible silicone pour overs for a few years. https://www.amazon.com/Kuissential-SlickDrip-Collapsible-Silicone-Dripper/dp/B0051HEFAS/ref=mp_s_a_1_8?crid=2ZHFK38XVW0R1&keywords=travel+pour+over+coffee&qid=1642441958&sprefix=travel+poir+ov%2Caps%2C168&sr=8-8

I will say: it worked perfectly fine but it does require trial and error to determine how to make satisfactory coffee for an individual’s preference. Also, there’s all this stuff about water temp and coffee bloom and etc, lol. It’s probably more trouble than it’s worth. 😂

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8 minutes ago, Murphy101 said:

I call a certain popular brand of coffee the F word of coffee. Nasty stuff.  I’m a firm believers that nasty coffee is why so many people have to pour a ton of cream and sugar into it to make it palatable. I used to drink my coffee that way and once I weaned to black coffee, I found that I’m very picky about it has to be fresh and decent coffee. I love my Kirklands coffee tho. It doesn’t have to be crazy twin priced. 

Well and personal taste. There are SOOO many roasts,type,etc. What I llike others say is burnt. 

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Just now, ktgrok said:

Well and personal taste. There are SOOO many roasts,type,etc. What I llike others say is burnt. 

And this is why it is SO HARD to get coffee right for other people. It's extra hard for people who don't drink coffee. 

I drink coffee, though I don't drink it black; I need a minimum a splash of half & half or cream. (My ideal cup of coffee has some unsweetened cocoa blended in.) The Kirkland brand beans we buy at Costco, brewed through the drip coffee maker, work fine for my husband and me. (He drinks it black.)

But I have paid attention when we have company, and I've noticed who does not take a second cup, or doesn't finish their first cup. And I know they are coffee drinkers, as in, usually have a large travel mug at hand at all times. So I know our coffee is not good enough for many people. No one has been rude enough to mention it.  Based on replies here, I am quite sure many people would consider our coffee pure swill. That's OK, I get it; people like what they like and I have my strong preferences in other areas. 

So I think if person who does not drink coffee wants to provide a method for brewing it for guests, their best bet is to choose the one that seems simplest to store and clean, and when guests are coming let them know what the method is, and ask them to bring their own ground coffee.  Or ask what supermarket brand you should pick up to have on hand for them. (I say supermarket brand because even if there is a shop with nice coffee nearby, it may not be right for them.)

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7 minutes ago, marbel said:

And this is why it is SO HARD to get coffee right for other people. It's extra hard for people who don't drink coffee. 

I drink coffee, though I don't drink it black; I need a minimum a splash of half & half or cream. (My ideal cup of coffee has some unsweetened cocoa blended in.) The Kirkland brand beans we buy at Costco, brewed through the drip coffee maker, work fine for my husband and me. (He drinks it black.)

But I have paid attention when we have company, and I've noticed who does not take a second cup, or doesn't finish their first cup. And I know they are coffee drinkers, as in, usually have a large travel mug at hand at all times. So I know our coffee is not good enough for many people. No one has been rude enough to mention it.  Based on replies here, I am quite sure many people would consider our coffee pure swill. That's OK, I get it; people like what they like and I have my strong preferences in other areas. 

So I think if person who does not drink coffee wants to provide a method for brewing it for guests, their best bet is to choose the one that seems simplest to store and clean, and when guests are coming let them know what the method is, and ask them to bring their own ground coffee.  Or ask what supermarket brand you should pick up to have on hand for them. (I say supermarket brand because even if there is a shop with nice coffee nearby, it may not be right for them.)

this is why I suggested a variety pack of k cups so people could pick what they want. 

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32 minutes ago, ktgrok said:

Well and personal taste. There are SOOO many roasts,type,etc. What I llike others say is burnt. 

Yep. I'm kind of a reverse coffee snob, I think. I detest espresso and dark roast coffees. I'm somewhere in the fairly large space between instant coffee (ick!) and coffee snob stuff (also mostly ick, IMO). I'm like "I'll take the extra large cup of your basic breakfast blend, please." Beyond that I'm not picky. I prefer a splash of milk or half and half and maybe a bit of sweetener, but I'll happily drink it black, too.

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11 minutes ago, ktgrok said:

this is why I suggested a variety pack of k cups so people could pick what they want. 

Not to put my crazy coffee snobbiness out there for the whole world to see but I haven't had a cup of coffee out of a Keurig I thought was good.  The waste bums me out as well.  I'd go the french press route and tell relatives to pack coffee.

That said, I think whatever decides to do or if she decides to do nothing is absolutely fine.    People should be gracious regardless.

Oh - I don't particularly like dark roast either.  I prefer light to medium roasts.  I don't know, we are still buying locally roast fresh ground coffee.  It's high quality.  The water process decaf we buy this way is great too.  I don't paint dark roast lovers as necessarily more coffee snobs as those who prefer a breakfast blend or whatever.  That is just a preference.  We knew this guy who worked for a local high end coffee shop that went on bean buying trips and was in charge of roasting.  He hated dark roast and said that dark roast covered up the flavor of lower quality beans.  🤷‍♀️

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I'm not a coffee snob; I'll even drink instant if I have creamer to put in it -- but I don't care for K-cups.    We had K-cup machines at my work for several years (provide your own) and even though I tried many brands, I never found one I liked --they are like instant coffee to me: drinkable only if you put other stuff in with it.   In which case I'd rather buy the instant coffee than the expensive K-cups 🤣

Additionally even the small K-cup machines I've seen are the same size as a small drip machine.  And the K-cups themselves take up much more room than a small pkg of ground coffee. 

This is really the problem with trying to make your coffee drinking guests happy -- there are so many choices and so many opinions.    Really I would probably go with the cheapest smallest easiest choice (probably a tiny drip machine), keep in the garage and pull it out only when the guests are visiting 😁

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I drink black coffee.

I love different blends and note the differences the way one might with wine.

I seek out micro-roasters and other unique beans.

My day-to-day cup is...instant!  I think an important key is measuring and tweaking until you know the amount of coffee to the amount of water you like best.  Just dumping in a spoonful into any sized mug won't do!

Trader Joe's has a tasty instant that is inexpensive.  My favorite though is spendier, Mount Hagen.  I buy the jar but they also sell individual packets, iirc.

I don't expect everyone to change their minds but had to pipe up that instant isn't universally hated!  (Though I also like fruitcake so what do I know, lol!)

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My husband likes instant!  We brew real coffee in the morning.  And crazily enough we usually use a drip machine.  We have a high end drip that is supposed to brew at a better temp or something and does a slow drip for a stronger flavor, It makes a great cup of coffee.  We also have an espresso machine and a couple french presses but we drink enough that being able to do a big pot in the morning works well, especially with DH working at home the past 2 years!?  And really this drip makes a great strong cup of coffee pretty comparable to the french press IMO.  My college student drinks coffee when he is home too.  Anyway, if DH wants coffee later in the day, he buys a good quality instant.  I switch over to herbal teas in the afternoon, though I do drink green and black teas too.

We buy about 90% of our coffee out of a local roaster, though we mix beans and blends, we don't always buy the same roast/bean, etc.  

So I'd also be happy to drink tea at a non coffee drinkers house.  I'd still bring my travel french press for an overnighter though lol.  

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1 hour ago, ktgrok said:

this is why I suggested a variety pack of k cups so people could pick what they want. 

And then there’s me. I don’t use k cups. Unnecessary pollution. (ETA And yeah I don’t generally think they taste good either.) If I have to choose between k-cup coffee or tap water - I’ll just politely take the tap water with no comment on the plastic waste issue in someone else’s home.

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1 hour ago, FuzzyCatz said:

Not to put my crazy coffee snobbiness out there for the whole world to see but I haven't had a cup of coffee out of a Keurig I thought was good.  The waste bums me out as well.  I'd go the french press route and tell relatives to pack coffee.

That said, I think whatever decides to do or if she decides to do nothing is absolutely fine.    People should be gracious regardless.

Oh - I don't particularly like dark roast either.  I prefer light to medium roasts.  I don't know, we are still buying locally roast fresh ground coffee.  It's high quality.  The water process decaf we buy this way is great too.  I don't paint dark roast lovers as necessarily more coffee snobs as those who prefer a breakfast blend or whatever.  That is just a preference.  We knew this guy who worked for a local high end coffee shop that went on bean buying trips and was in charge of roasting.  He hated dark roast and said that dark roast covered up the flavor of lower quality beans.  🤷‍♀️

My understanding is that true coffee snobs don't like dark roast. Third wave coffee or whatever it is called is much lighter. I think the dark roast Starbucks and Pete's he's considered second wave? With I guess Maxwell house first wave?

I like the coffee snob later roast in the afternoon but in the morning I went dark bitter coffee with cream and sweetener. I like the mix of bitter and sweet together.

48 minutes ago, Murphy101 said:

And then there’s me. I don’t use k cups. Unnecessary pollution. (ETA And yeah I don’t generally think they taste good either.) If I have to choose between k-cup coffee or tap water - I’ll just politely take the tap water with no comment on the plastic waste issue in someone else’s home.

I stopped using him for this reason but compared to throwing away a bag of coffee because she only has guests every now and then I figured it was better. Especially if her guests all like different kinds of coffee. Personally I do the French press. But a lot of people dont like french press. 

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45 minutes ago, Murphy101 said:

And then there’s me. I don’t use k cups. Unnecessary pollution. (ETA And yeah I don’t generally think they taste good either.) 

Yep.  I think the K cups taste terrible.  But, I will sub in a good black tea for coffee if I need to and I certainly would not think ill of any host that did not provide coffee to my insane standards.  Unless it is my MIL who I am SURE is doing it on purpose.  In actuality, despite my severe case of the snobbies, just about any coffee (again, NOT MIL's...what the actual heck?) is better than no coffee. 

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A reminder. Almost no one has to buy a pound of coffee anymore.  Just get some from the bulk section.  Also. Ground coffee stays good on the freezer for 4-5 months.

If I didn’t think it happened often enough to use it over 5 months - I wouldn’t go to the trouble at all. I’d just wait to buy it (or tell them to bring their own) when I knew they were coming over.

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I didn’t read all the replies but I am a very serious coffee drinker. I only drink it in the morning and I’m not fussy about the brand or the fixings. I just drink it black. But I really do need my big mug of black coffee every single day. I am low maintenance in about every way. Can’t think of anything else I really much need. But I would rearrange just about anything in my life for that morning coffee. Really. You wouldn’t be interested in visiting with me if I didn’t have it anyway. 
 

I wouldn’t want you put out by my addiction but I would want to know that I needed to make arrangements. I would happily bring my own supplies and fix it and clean up myself. If I was going to be a repeat visitor I would purchase the apparatus and supplies to keep at your home (if you wished). 
 

Tea would not be a substitute. 
 

I’m not proud but I’m just being honest. I wouldn’t enjoy a visit anywhere I couldn’t have a morning coffee either in house or within a five minute drive. 
 

I’ll cook you dinner. I’ll help with your kids. I’ll bring you wine and chocolate and tell you that you are beautiful. But I’m going to need my morning coffee. 
 


 

 

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I do not think it is necessary to have coffee on hand to be a good hostess. None of us drink coffee so I don't have anything like that on hand. Nor have I had any gift that seemed disappointed not to have coffee available at the house. My mom will occasionally buy a coffee while out and about but even she does not expect to make it at our house.

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13 minutes ago, Murphy101 said:

A reminder. Almost no one has to buy a pound of coffee anymore.  Just get some from the bulk section.  Also. Ground coffee stays good on the freezer for 4-5 months.

If I didn’t think it happened often enough to use it over 5 months - I wouldn’t go to the trouble at all. I’d just wait to buy it (or tell them to bring their own) when I knew they were coming over.

My local stores dont have the bulk ones anymore. But I think sending lefovers home with guest makes sense.

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I don’t make coffee. I don’t drink it and coffee drinkers like what they like. If we didn’t have dh’s paraphernalia I’d just buy a small coffee pot to store it in my house. I might keep some coffee grounds in the freezer. I’d make sure to tell my friends what I had so they could bring anything else they want. I’ve definitely had coffee drinkers brew their own because, more than excellent host services that really just want decent coffee. 
 

If you want a cheap stovetop espresso maker, I got this from IKEA recently when dh broke is old aluminum one. 

8DA63854-B99A-40FC-A86B-A4C8FB49B194.jpeg

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Of course when I finally make a decision and add to cart it says out of stock. I can get the same one for a few bucks more on Amazon or pick another. Was just trying to stay close to $20 range. Nearest Goodwill is 45 min away so not sure about looking for second hand. 

My aunt and sisters are all on board with a French press. And apparently one sister left Mardi gras coffee for the other at my dad’s house (what the heck is Mardi gras coffee supposed to taste like I don’t know haha). 

E95F0C68-F3A3-432E-A66F-60E026089BA8.jpeg

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8 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

 

My aunt and sisters are all on board with a French press. And apparently one sister left Mardi gras coffee for the other at my dad’s house (what the heck is Mardi gras coffee supposed to taste like I don’t know haha). 

 

Community Coffee has a Mardi Gras flavor; it has a hint of pastry/powdered sugar glaze taste, in honor of a King's Cake.  

I grew up in south Louisiana and my grandparents drank Community Coffee.  I remember them packing it when they went to visit relatives in Arkansas and Kansas over fifty years ago.  So, the question of what coffee to serve isn't a new one...

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5 hours ago, heartlikealion said:

So far the sisters both said they usually use milk instead of creamer. The one in England said they don’t sell half n half there? And doesn’t know what a Kcup is. The other, like me, is sensitive to certain dairy. Said she usually uses almond milk. 

I’m learning so much ha 

Yes. No half n half in the UK that I have seen. Coffee is often served with whole milk, although many people use semi-skimmed, which is 1.5 percent fat.

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re what addiction looks like

17 hours ago, teachermom2834 said:

I didn’t read all the replies but I am a very serious coffee drinker. I only drink it in the morning and I’m not fussy about the brand or the fixings. I just drink it black. But I really do need my big mug of black coffee every single day. I am low maintenance in about every way. Can’t think of anything else I really much need. But I would rearrange just about anything in my life for that morning coffee. Really. You wouldn’t be interested in visiting with me if I didn’t have it anyway. 
 

I wouldn’t want you put out by my addiction but I would want to know that I needed to make arrangements. I would happily bring my own supplies and fix it and clean up myself. If I was going to be a repeat visitor I would purchase the apparatus and supplies to keep at your home (if you wished). 
 

Tea would not be a substitute. 
 

I’m not proud but I’m just being honest. I wouldn’t enjoy a visit anywhere I couldn’t have a morning coffee either in house or within a five minute drive. 
 

I’ll cook you dinner. I’ll help with your kids. I’ll bring you wine and chocolate and tell you that you are beautiful. But I’m going to need my morning coffee. 
 

Every.Word.Of.This.

 

Going on 20 years ago, my husband and SIL and BIL left our respective sets of kids with grandparents and traveled together to converge on the other set of SIL and BIL, who had to get their house ready to put on the market quickly. The idea was a full Work Weekend, repairing & repainting walls, carrying detritus out of the basement, lugging stuff to Goodwill and the dump, and etc.

We got up there late Thursday night, laden with brushes/ rollers/ spackle, and contractor-weight garbage bags/mops/ cleaning solvents.  We ate a lasagna, set out a workplan, and settled into the sleeping bags we'd also brought. All was fine. Until..

... morning, when house-selling BIL and SIL announced brightly that in a burst of health consciousness they'd Given Up Caffeine!! and they felt So Much Better!! and [**insert evangelical screed here**] and...

.. my husband blinked.

And said:

Quote

Oh no. No. No, that isn't good to work. At.All.

and without another word, got his keys and departed.

Fellow-traveling SIL: Is he... going to Starbucks?

Me: Mmmmm. No, I don't think so.

Fellow-traveling SIL: Because he... really, really needs to get me a cup of coffee.  Otherwise I'll go myself.

Me: Oh, he knows that.  Believe me: he knows that.

 

Twenty minutes later, he returned not with a fourpack of Starbucks cups. But with a French press and a pound of grounds. Because this is not something you mess around with.

 

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The absolute cheapest, easiest, low-maintenance option is a plastic Melitta cone you can put in a drawer and a box of paper filters.  Keep grounds in the freezer till you need them.  Put cone with paper filter and a scoop of grounds over cup, pour boiling water from kettle into it.  Throw grounds and filter in trash.  Rinse cone under running water.

No moving parts, no breakage, no counter space, no parts to wash.  Cone costs a couple of bucks.  AND makes actual good coffee.  (ew, instant).

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image.png.897228fa6ec4511dfb9e75b662e98dc4.png

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54 minutes ago, Matryoshka said:

The absolute cheapest, easiest, low-maintenance option is a plastic Melitta cone you can put in a drawer and a box of paper filters.  Keep grounds in the freezer till you need them.  Put cone with paper filter and a scoop of grounds over cup, pour boiling water from kettle into it.  Throw grounds and filter in trash.  Rinse cone under running water.

No moving parts, no breakage, no counter space, no parts to wash.  Cone costs a couple of bucks.  AND makes actual good coffee.  (ew, instant).

Like this
image.png.897228fa6ec4511dfb9e75b662e98dc4.png

I had that in my Amazon cart and it was like $13 while a press was around $20. I ended up getting the press. 

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1 hour ago, heartlikealion said:

I had that in my Amazon cart and it was like $13 while a press was around $20. I ended up getting the press. 

 Given that the people you're most likely to serve it to you so they prefer the press, and it takes less skill, and others will likely be impressed because it looks fancy, good choice.

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My sis & bil have officially booked their new tickets to the US (St. Patrick’s day). If they cannot make the drive to my home I’ll meet up with them at my dad’s. Originally for Christmas they were all coming to my home.

It arrived the other day and is on the corner where two rows of cabinets meet. It’s not in the way as I never really reach that far back. 

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