THIS is what I get......JAWM

[LMD]

30 minutes ago, stephanier.1765 said:

I really hope this question doesn't derail this thread because the audacity of these people is just mind blowing.

What do you say if people ask you why? I know there are several around me who would and my true answer, "because I just don't want to", wouldn't fly very far.

If they say why, you say 'you are asking me to commit to something that requires a lot of time/effort/expense/whatever from me, I need to balance my own commitments first.'

Puts it back on them that they are imposing in your, likely already busy, life.

[Catwoman]

2 hours ago, DawnM said:

I am honestly concerned they want me to keep the dog.   

It sounds like you need to make it very clear that you don’t want their dog. 

Even if you’re willing to keep the dog until they get back, I think it’s time to let them know that this has turned into a huge imposition. You could also ask who can come and get their dog and keep him until they get back. 

One other option is to say you are going out of town and the dog will need to be boarded somewhere, so they should make the financial arrangements and let you know where to drop off their dog because he obviously can’t be left alone in your home for all that time. 

Honestly, if it was me, I would be angry, but I wouldn’t have the heart to put the dog in a kennel if he’s basically a nice dog. It’s not his fault that his owners are inconsiderate jerks. 😞 

[Terabith]

I mean, I totally get that this is a massive inconvenience, but they don't necessarily seem like horrible people to me.  They went to Europe in a pandemic to see family, contracted covid (what else could the 10-14 day thing be), and can't fly back until they test negative?  This seems awful, and inconvenient for you, but it seems different than if they just decided on a spur of the moment to extend their stay another couple of weeks.  

[PeppermintPattie]

Have they said they have/had tested positive for Covid, or did they give another reason for not coming home as planned? 

 

[TexasProud]

Also, by any chance are they flying standby? We have a man that goes on our mission trips who worked for airline or rather part time, doing what I don’t remember. He was a delivery guy or something. But he was able to fly standby.  So he was never sure about his flights until the day of. Just wondering if that was the reason why they don’t have tickets left. 

So they may be waiting until they get over Covid and then going to airport to find a flight.

Regardless, when they call again, tell them you have to board it. Th is isn’t fair to you.

[LMD]

I'm sure it would be easier to give them the benefit of the doubt if they had actually planned for care of their dog, including emergencies, before leaving the country in a pandemic 🤷‍♀️

Dawn is an angel imo. 

[DawnM]

I didn't get the impression that they got Covid, but who knows.

[DawnM]

1 hour ago, Catwoman said:

It sounds like you need to make it very clear that you don’t want their dog. 

Even if you’re willing to keep the dog until they get back, I think it’s time to let them know that this has turned into a huge imposition. You could also ask who can come and get their dog and keep him until they get back. 

One other option is to say you are going out of town and the dog will need to be boarded somewhere, so they should make the financial arrangements and let you know where to drop off their dog because he obviously can’t be left alone in your home for all that time. 

Honestly, if it was me, I would be angry, but I wouldn’t have the heart to put the dog in a kennel if he’s basically a nice dog. It’s not his fault that his owners are inconsiderate jerks. 😞 

I will def. say no to keeping the dog.

[Ethel Mertz]

My response in a similar situation: “Oh, thank you so much for thinking of me. But I’m afraid it’s just not possible.”

[SanDiegoMom]

We just went on a five day trip and paid a dog sitter to come to our house to watch our two puppies.  We paid her over 500 dollars.  You could be making mad money! (These are California rates of course, but still)

[Jean in Newcastle]

We got stuck recently through (domestic) cancelled flights and my pet sitter had to take care of my animals for three extra days. But I let her know exactly what I knew when I knew it. And she knew that it was totally out of my control. 

[Grace Hopper]

5 hours ago, DawnM said:

They said 6 days ago, "around 10 more days, we are working on a flight today"

And they don't even have a flight yet.

Make a reservation at a kennel starting on the 11th day. 
 

I know you “aren’t that person” but, c’mon. These people have grossly over imposed. 

[Catwoman]

1 hour ago, Terabith said:

I mean, I totally get that this is a massive inconvenience, but they don't necessarily seem like horrible people to me.  They went to Europe in a pandemic to see family, contracted covid (what else could the 10-14 day thing be), and can't fly back until they test negative?  This seems awful, and inconvenient for you, but it seems different than if they just decided on a spur of the moment to extend their stay another couple of weeks.  

I think the real problem here is the total lack of acknowledgement or appreciation for Dawn having gone the extra mile (and then some!) for them. They don’t even seem apologetic.

[Grace Hopper]

1 minute ago, Catwoman said:

I think the real problem here is the total lack of acknowledgement or appreciation for Dawn having gone the extra mile (and then some!) for them. They don’t even seem apologetic.

True, but I think it’s actually problematic now that the dog is not fond of Dad’s cane and barking (maybe or maybe not aggressively). Also, I’d personally feel exhausted from being on high alert with a not-my dog and an active preschooler in the house for so many days on end. 

[Terabith]

Wrong thread

 

Edited January 18, 2022 by Terabith

[Murphy101]

4 hours ago, stephanier.1765 said:

I really hope this question doesn't derail this thread because the audacity of these people is just mind blowing.

What do you say if people ask you why? I know there are several around me who would and my true answer, "because I just don't want to", wouldn't fly very far.

1) It flies exactly as far as I need it to - approx one foot in front of me.  It’s a boundary. They don’t have to agree with it or like it, but I don’t have to move it for them either.  Though I do reserve this attitude for people that frankly, I don’t care if they like it or not.

2) like PP suggested if they ask why, pending relationship closeness or how fed up I am -  I may response with anything from a a vague “I have other commitments that need to take priority” to self-depreciating “I just don’t think I can handle this well right now” to “frankly, your dog doesn’t get along with my family members and that made the time we originally agreed to very hard to manage and it’s gone way past that and I have other plans that didn’t include your dog - so this is no longer going to work. What boarder are you calling for me to drop off at or who are you sending for the dog?”

4 hours ago, importswim said:

Yeah, this is probably an expected response to that statement. I don't read anything into it, just a comment on why the dog might be barking at him. You can't make hints with this family an expect them to pick up on them.

I do agree with this. I despise hints and suggestions and my children actually get in trouble for doing it. People are mind readers and they actually really suck at this kind of thing. Saying my dog barks =\= my dog is making you unhappy/nervous. 

1 hour ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

We got stuck recently through (domestic) cancelled flights and my pet sitter had to take care of my animals for three extra days. But I let her know exactly what I knew when I knew it. And she knew that it was totally out of my control. 

what would you have done if your pet sitter had said, “Hey I know it’s not your fault, but it’s not mine either and I just can’t continue.  So I need to know what you want me to do?”

I had a friend that went out of country with her husband for a week a couple months ago and she hired a live in nanny for her 5 and 14 year old. When she had problems getting home (2 days late) the nanny just quit!  Called and said she just couldn’t deal and that someone better come to replace her bc she needed to leave. 😳. Keep in mind the kids were in school all day so all she had to do was make sure they got home from school ate dinner and didn’t burn the house down. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

13 minutes ago, Murphy101 said:

 

what would you have done if your pet sitter had said, “Hey I know it’s not your fault, but it’s not mine either and I just can’t continue.  So I need to know what you want me to do?”

I had a friend that went out of country with her husband for a week a couple months ago and she hired a live in nanny for her 5 and 14 year old. When she had problems getting home (2 days late) the nanny just quit!  Called and said she just couldn’t deal and that someone better come to replace her bc she needed to leave. 😳. Keep in mind the kids were in school all day so all she had to do was make sure they got home from school ate dinner and didn’t burn the house down. 

I would have been in deep doo doo since my Rottweiler mix is not friendly to just anyone. And I have three animals (two rabbits and an old ill cat) at home. It would have been hard to find a replacement on the fly. Especially since all the vet offices in my area have stopped offering boarding facilities since they are swamped with actual vet business. But I would have started making calls. 
 

I should note though that the person taking care of my animals does this as her business and I paid her very well (ie paid her extra for the trouble). 

[DawnM]

They bought a ticket!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It is a week out, but at least there is an end in sight.   And they did offer to try to find someone else for the rest of the time.

[Laura Corin]

1 minute ago, DawnM said:

They bought a ticket!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It is a week out, but at least there is an end in sight.   And they did offer to try to find someone else for the rest of the time.

I'm glad, but they have still treated you badly. 

[KungFuPanda]

20 minutes ago, DawnM said:

They bought a ticket!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It is a week out, but at least there is an end in sight.   And they did offer to try to find someone else for the rest of the time.

Did you take them up on that offer?

[Scarlett]

36 minutes ago, DawnM said:

They bought a ticket!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It is a week out, but at least there is an end in sight.   And they did offer to try to find someone else for the rest of the time.

Yah!  I can handle a lot of things when I know the ending time.

[DreamerGirl]

I've been silently reading this thread, secretly feeling better I did not cave in and get the cute pandemic puppy or kitten DD begged for. I have second guessed myself multiple times.

International travel at a moment's notice has been our norm for a number of years. DH and I once had to go in 5 hours because of a death and came back to a fish tank full of dead fish. We forgot in the rush to get tickets, pay bills (in the dark ages when autopay was not a thing), pack and leave. It was horrible to dispose of them.

Our international joint trips have lessened but there might be a time when if we need to go, we could have friends take DS who is pretty self sufficient in and we could rotate him, not sure about a pet. DD would come with us. But a pet will be harder to place when sometimes you may have to travel with an open ticket or not have a firm return date. Even in non-COVID times it has happened  far too many times not to be taken into consideration. One of the reasons we never had a pet was because we go for a long time or multiple times a year internationally  and I am never comfortable with the idea of boarding a pet or disrupt it multiple times a year because of our lifestyle.

You are awesome OP. Your friends better buy you a nice gift. 

[Scarlett]

28 minutes ago, DreamerGirl said:

I've been silently reading this thread, secretly feeling better I did not cave in and get the cute pandemic puppy or kitten DD begged for. I have second guessed myself multiple times.

International travel at a moment's notice has been our norm for a number of years. DH and I once had to go in 5 hours because of a death and came back to a fish tank full of dead fish. We forgot in the rush to get tickets, pay bills (in the dark ages when autopay was not a thing), pack and leave. It was horrible to dispose of them.

Our international joint trips have lessened but there might be a time when if we need to go, we could have friends take DS who is pretty self sufficient in and we could rotate him, not sure about a pet. DD would come with us. But a pet will be harder to place when sometimes you may have to travel with an open ticket or not have a firm return date. Even in non-COVID times it has happened  far too many times not to be taken into consideration. One of the reasons we never had a pet was because we go for a long time or multiple times a year internationally  and I am never comfortable with the idea of boarding a pet or disrupt it multiple times a year because of our lifestyle.

You are awesome OP. Your friends better buy you a nice gift. 

I am kinda there with you. We got a puppy about 6 weeks before lock down and man we take that pup now 2 year old dog everywhere with us.  We left her at a doggy day care/boarder with her litter mate sister for 5 days when we went to the beach and we have said never again.  It really is a problem.  But she is so so worth it.  

[DawnM]

10 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

I am kinda there with you. We got a puppy about 6 weeks before lock down and man we take that pup now 2 year old dog everywhere with us.  We left her at a doggy day care/boarder with her litter mate sister for 5 days when we went to the beach and we have said never again.  It really is a problem.  But she is so so worth it.  

We went on a lake vacation this past summer and rented a house where we could bring the dog.   We may even do that when we go to Disney next Fall!

[Scarlett]

3 minutes ago, DawnM said:

We went on a lake vacation this past summer and rented a house where we could bring the dog.   We may even do that when we go to Disney next Fall!

That is what we said we will do if we go back to the  beach.  But we were kinda glad we didn't have them this trip...there were ALOT of stairs and we were RIGHT on the water.  It would have been stressful for all I think.  

We took them to the lake when they were just under a year old.  They did fine there.  

I never thought I would be this kind of dog owner but if we can't take her or if we can't find a trusted friend to house sit with her and our cat we just won't go. 

[KungFuPanda]

I think it would be much easier to live with someone's pet for an undisclosed number of days than someone's kid!  Another person in your house without a clear end date is a whole different level of stress.

[DawnM]

1 hour ago, KungFuPanda said:

I think it would be much easier to live with someone's pet for an undisclosed number of days than someone's kid!  Another person in your house without a clear end date is a whole different level of stress.

Definitely.   Although I don't know that I would agree to a person.....unless it was a dire situation/emergency of a very close friend or relative.

[Arcadia]

1 hour ago, KungFuPanda said:

I think it would be much easier to live with someone's pet for an undisclosed number of days than someone's kid!  Another person in your house without a clear end date is a whole different level of stress.

 

1 minute ago, DawnM said:

Definitely.   Although I don't know that I would agree to a person.....unless it was a dire situation/emergency of a very close friend or relative.

When I picked up my neighbor’s daughter (DS17’s classmate) from kindergarten pick up years ago, I had to be already listed under the authorized pickup person else the child would be sitting in the school office to wait it out. 

We won’t have the guts to take a child with the parents not within driving distance due to medical reasons. 

[DreamerGirl]

1 hour ago, KungFuPanda said:

I think it would be much easier to live with someone's pet for an undisclosed number of days than someone's kid!  Another person in your house without a clear end date is a whole different level of stress.

 

9 minutes ago, DawnM said:

Definitely.   Although I don't know that I would agree to a person.....unless it was a dire situation/emergency of a very close friend or relative.

We have taken in our different friends kids because their parents had to go to their country of origin for the death of the grandparent of the kid. These kids were in PS and could not travel. They are polite kids who pick up after themselves and not picky eaters. It was easy to slot them into the family. DS has been raised with this expectation though we did not have to. But we might have to soon.

But all this did not happen by accident. It was something we as parents thought might happen and raised our kids with that as a possibility. Our kids are used to being in the homes of relatives in other countries by themselves to visit especially summer. DS has done that several times in the UK and home country. We have had our niece and nephew visit regularly and stay without an end date. They usually travel on an open ticket. All parents work PT or FT. An adult usually accompanies them to and fro. But it could be a person from the UK who takes them and another from the US who drops them and vice versa. This was pre-pandemic and DD is too little for this. But pre-pandemic we would have kids travel a lot  up and down and parents will come together for a short vacation or one might come to accompany.

 

[DawnM]

UPDATE!

Dog has been picked up!

[Kassia]

2 hours ago, DawnM said:

UPDATE!

Dog has been picked up!

Yay!  I have to tell DH - this was such an amazing story I had to share with him and he wanted updates!  🙂  

Edited January 28, 2022 by Kassia

[MEmama]

Yay! Great news! Enjoy your freedom.

Did they at least get you something nice? I hope they were beside themselves with gratitude. 

[DawnM]

58 minutes ago, MEmama said:

Yay! Great news! Enjoy your freedom.

Did they at least get you something nice? I hope they were beside themselves with gratitude. 

They brought some gifts and have offered to do a few things for us in return.   

I was able to snuggle with my dog this morning, which I haven't been able to do for the last 6 weeks.   

Edited January 28, 2022 by DawnM

[mommyoffive]

44 minutes ago, DawnM said:

They brought some gifts and have offered to do a few things for us in return.   

I was able to snuggle with my dog this morning, which I haven't been able to do for the last 6 weeks.   

6 weeks my gosh!!  Glad they finally got the dog. 

[wintermom]

1 hour ago, DawnM said:

They brought some gifts and have offered to do a few things for us in return.   

I was able to snuggle with my dog this morning, which I haven't been able to do for the last 6 weeks.   

That's great news. Enjoy your suggling time and the gifts.

(Based on their behaviour in this situation,  I wouldn't be holding my breath about them doing anything timely. I'm just sceptical that way.)

[DreamerGirl]

4 hours ago, DawnM said:

UPDATE!

Dog has been picked up!

Yes !

OP, I know you said JAWM, but I hope it is ok to say this now that the dog has been picked up and they can make it up to you.

I initially went for less than 15 days to my home country on a ticket with a confirmed return date. I did not want to go longer because DH was the one working and holding the fort down, DD was little and was having separation anxiety. But I had to and ended up going for more than a month because of personal circumstances and that time was precious. I never had to worry about the kids or house though as DH was there. That was an enormous gift and so was the extended time with my family. I honestly don't know if I will ever see both my parents alive again.

So what you did though tough for you was a enormous gift for them. I think it gave them peace of mind that their dog was safe and it is peace of mind when you are so far away and your family here is taken care of. Not scrambling to arrange alternate care and most of all, the gift of face to face with their family members in another country some of whom they may not see again. 

So from where I am standing OP, you did a beyond awesome thing for them even if they may not say it in words.

[Terabith]

I referenced this thread in real life to friends yesterday.  

We have some friends with a rather itinerant lifestyle.  Job wise, for three seasons out of the year they work at various Renaissance Fairs.  During the spring and fall, they generally commute down for weekends, but in the summer, they go up there and stay for 6-8 weeks.  This year they are also going to go to the UK for a visit for three weeks.  When they are out of town in the summer, we host their cats at our house.  In the discussion about them going to the UK for three weeks, we were discussing whether it would be better for us to go to their house and care for the cats there or for the cats to come hang at our place.  

Three weeks is a kind of borderline period of time.  It's long enough that it's a pain to drive over to their place twice a day, but it's short enough that it's hard for their cats to acclimate to our place.  I said that I'd prefer it if they came to our house, since there's the chance that they'll contract covid and have to extend their stay, referencing this thread.  (I know that the reason for Dawn's friends extending their stay is unknown; it just seemed like a plausible point to me.)

These incredibly intelligent, very educated folks were genuinely shocked and appalled at the notion that they could get covid during a pandemic while overseas and were like, "That would be awful, because it runs right into X Ren Faire season."  

I think they'd just been so focused on the details of the trip, that this possibility hadn't really occurred to them.  Now they are rethinking the trip.  

[DreamerGirl]

1 hour ago, Terabith said:

In the discussion about them going to the UK for three weeks, we were discussing whether it would be better for us to go to their house and care for the cats there or for the cats to come hang at our place.  

 

IDK if they will ever have plans to take the cats with them, but I am pretty sure UK had a pet quarantine policy even before the plague. I do not know if it was for visiting animals or brought in as future pets from a breeder in another country.

 

[Terabith]

3 minutes ago, DreamerGirl said:

IDK if they will ever have plans to take the cats with them, but I am pretty sure UK had a pet quarantine policy even before the plague. I do not know if it was for visiting animals or brought in as future pets from a breeder in another country.

 

No, they have no plans to take the cats to the UK with them.  The question is if the cats stay at their house and I pop over twice a day to feed them, or if the cats come here and hang out with Scout and Obama.  

[bolt.]

20 minutes ago, Terabith said:

No, they have no plans to take the cats to the UK with them.  The question is if the cats stay at their house and I pop over twice a day to feed them, or if the cats come here and hang out with Scout and Obama.  

I'm surprised at twice-a-day cat sitting. When someone watches our cats, they come once every two or three days to give them a nice treat of wet food, top up the dry food if it is running low, and clear the litter boxes. I guess some cats live better than other cats!

[DreamerGirl]

17 minutes ago, Terabith said:

No, they have no plans to take the cats to the UK with them.  The question is if the cats stay at their house and I pop over twice a day to feed them, or if the cats come here and hang out with Scout and Obama.  

Oh thank goodness !

We've seen enough cats or small dogs travel in a small pet carrier in the cabin and people trying to shove them under the seat in front of them. Often a single person with multiple cats or two carriers with a cat and dog each in the cabin and since they have one seat, they will try to have their stranger seat mate keep them in front of them. People refuse and always causes issues.

On another completely unrelated note, if we ever get a cat, you get a huge vote in picking the name. I love both the names of Scout and Obama of course. In fact, Scout was one of the names I wanted to name DD.
 

[MEmama]

3 minutes ago, bolt. said:

I'm surprised at twice-a-day cat sitting. When someone watches our cats, they come once every two or three days to give them a nice treat of wet food, top up the dry food if it is running low, and clear the litter boxes. I guess some cats live better than other cats!

Our kitties would be so sad! Our cat sitters always come over twice a day and spend time playing with them. We have very social kitties, I know not all cats care but ours would be desperate for human time. It was after a trip when our sitter mentioned Original Kitty seemed lonely that we got her her own kitten. 🙂  Both kitties follow us around the house and are pretty much attached to us all day. Making sure they get played with while we are away is very important to us.

[Terabith]

1 hour ago, bolt. said:

I'm surprised at twice-a-day cat sitting. When someone watches our cats, they come once every two or three days to give them a nice treat of wet food, top up the dry food if it is running low, and clear the litter boxes. I guess some cats live better than other cats!

When they are gone for weekends, they do dry food and often don't even have us stop by.  But one of their cats is on a special diet with kidney food, and she does a lot better with wet food, so for extended absences, twice a day is better.  And one of their cats is very, very social and gets lonely.  For a week or more, he'd be very sad.  

Scout does not have many teeth and has chronic mouth inflammation, so she really struggles with dry food.  So between her need for wet food and Obama's desires to go in and out of the house, I ask for our cat sitters to come twice a day, too.  It's not a deal breaker, but it's handy.  

I flew from San Antonio to Roanoke with Scout as a kitten.  I also had a 2 and a 3 year old with me.  It really rather sucked, although it might have been better than my husband driving that same distance with two cats, one of whom has major claustrophobia and couldn't handle being in a carrier for hours.  So they were loose in the car, and Trinity (the then cat with claustrophobia) sat in his lap most of the trip.