I need help for trauma

[GracieJane]

I am a pretty type-A, private person. For a variety of reasons, therapy doesn’t work for me (I’ve tried!). For the past two years, I’ve been the stability in my children’s/loved ones’ lives, which makes me happy. But it has also made me suppress a lot (most?) of my anxieties and sorrows. I think I have trauma that I can’t process with others, but I would like to deal with privately this year. Can you recommend a book or exercise that might help? 

[Melissa Louise]

I wonder if tapping might be helpful to you? I don't really understand it, but I know people who have found it helpful.

There is someone here who kindly sent me some exercises at a particularly awful time. Hopefully she will see this thread. 

[Rosie_0801]

The 'UnF*** Your Boundaries Workbook,' by Faith Harper, if boundaries are a problem for you.
Chapters 6-10 of 'The Tao of Trauma' has also been valuable here.
'The Artist's Way' by, I think, Julia Cameron might be worth a look.

Being the stability in other people's lives doesn't mean you aren't allowed to have emotions. Let a few out. Probably your people will cope, and if they don't, they need a polite reminder that you are a person too.
 

[Katy]

Have you tried Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?

[GoodGrief3]

I don't have a specific title, because I'm drawing a blank right now, but searching for books on dialectical behavior therapy and choosing a workbook could be useful. Important skills to be had with that method. Working with a skilled DBT therapist would be best, but I do understand the right therapist can be hard to come by.

[Melissa Louise]

I don't think CBT is great for trauma. EMDR might be an option. 

 

[mathnerd]

@OP, sorry to hijack your thread. I might be in the same boat as well and am wondering if I could use vigorous exercise to help me deal with trauma - if anyone on this thread knows about it, it would help me as well. Thank you.

[Lisa]

I have read this book twice and found it very helpful in dealing with my anxiety.

Anxiety: Knowing God's Peace by Paul Tautges

https://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Knowing-Peace-31-Day-Devotionals/dp/1629956228/ref=sr_1_1?crid=54186N7F9AAM&keywords=knowing+anxiety&qid=1641430041&sprefix=knowing+anxiety%2Caps%2C109&sr=8-1

Sorry you are struggling. I hope you can get the help you need.

Edited January 6, 2022 by Lisa

[Lori D.]

@PeterPan has posted about shaking therapy for releasing trauma stored in the body -- here's one post in a different thread in which she briefly describes it and links to a video that you can do at home.

Also, I believe deep pressure massage can help with releasing trauma and stress stored in the body.

But, those deep with the physical symptoms of trauma, they don't actually address the actual trauma or help you resolve the trauma emotionally/psychologically.

Agreeing with previous posters about tapping -- I believe that one does help you mentally release the trauma so that it no longer triggers in you.


(((((@GracieJane))))), and best wishes for quickly finding what helps.

Edited January 6, 2022 by Lori D.

[fraidycat]

 

 

[fraidycat]

I am a Tapping Practitioner and am happy to answer any questions you (or anyone) has about tapping, how to use it, what to expect, etc.

[PeterPan]

3 hours ago, GracieJane said:

I think I have trauma that I can’t process with others, but I would like to deal with privately this year. Can you recommend a book or exercise that might help? 

https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/B08TX585RN/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=the+body+keeps+the+score&qid=1641433892&sprefix=the+body+%2Caps%2C96&sr=8-1  

and TRE. There are other methods of trauma release. No EFT/Tapping did not do it for me. This video below will show you how to do TRE yourself. If you've had significant trauma, you may need a counselor to work through things with. Yes, trauma causes dissociation and affects your social, etc.

I did TRE daily for about 40 days and it was pretty life altering. You are able to release sensory memory stored in the body for both things you remember and things *pre* declarative memory. This is important because if some of your trauma was from childhood, that's very hard to access and release. Mine was pretty astonishing when it came out. I sort of knew it was there, but I didn't realize the degree to which it had affected me. Health problems reversed, my social life radically changed. It was AMAZING.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQBUpMZajv8

[PeterPan]

1 hour ago, Lori D. said:

Also, I believe deep pressure massage can help with releasing trauma and stress stored in the body.

Ok, so I had massage twice a week for many years before I ever did trauma therapy, and massage didn't do anything for my stored trauma memory. However cranial sacral has been able to release some things. I've done so much TRE that at this point I don't have to go through all the steps but can just lie down and do it. So when I get cranial sacral, things seem to release from me readily. And I like CST in that sense because it can tap into other areas of the body that are maybe hard to get to and get them to release. Releasing the fascia can release things stored there. So complementary I guess.

TRE is the stronger tool. There are some others, but I really don't know them because TRE was enough for me. If op seriously has experienced trauma, then she'd be well advised to find a trauma counselor who does body work. I only went to maybe 5 sessions total, but we spaced them to let me debrief and discuss what I was doing at home. It can be worth the money and help problem solve. There were a couple times where what came out was SO profound, so disturbing, I really needed some professional help to work through that and get to a better place. So you don't need to read and just do things on your own. A few $$ carefully spent could be well spent.

Fwiw, I found my trauma counselor through the Focus on the Family referral search engine and the person had a phd and significant experience with trauma.

[MercyA]

If a Bible study specifically written for women who have experienced trauma would be helpful to you, you might consider The Hem of His Garment. This is an explicitly Christian study. If this is not what you're looking for, please disregard.

Sending you hugs. 

[GracieJane]

1 hour ago, mathnerd said:

@OP, sorry to hijack your thread. I might be in the same boat as well and am wondering if I could use vigorous exercise to help me deal with trauma - if anyone on this thread knows about it, it would help me as well. Thank you.

I‘m laughing because I totally thought of the same thing! Somehow, „super hard exercise“ codes for therapy in my head. 😄

ETA: maybe we can start a thread on Sweating Out Trauma 😉

Edited January 6, 2022 by GracieJane

[Carol in Cal.]

Revolution From Within by Gloria Steinem is about self-esteem particularly, but a lot of the exercises can address trauma, I found.  Particularly the ones about 're-parenting'.

[BeachGal]

Two more recommendations:

Emotional granularity. The gist of it is that people who are able to very specifically label how they feel are able to better help themselves. Yale has been using this to help at-risk youth. Yale also developed a free app called Mood Meter which anyone can use. Mark Brackett is one of the directors and has written articles and at least one book about it.

https://moodmeterapp.com/science/

Polyvagal Theory by Stephen Porges is also interesting.

https://www.stephenporges.com/

[Carol in Cal.]

My Grandmother's Hands is very good, and it's processes can be applied to various kinds of trauma, but it's focussed on racial trauma specifically.  

[Slache]

I would want to know more specifics, but I'm sure you didn't list them on purpose. So do this.

Google (your personal trauma) subreddit. You will find a support group like r/raisedbynarcissists. Go to the information page and there will be a list of specific books that were picked by those who know. You do not have to be a member of Reddit to do this and the support groups are great, unlike the rest of Reddit.

I've gotten more from books than therapy.