Jenny in Florida Posted January 5, 2022 Author Share Posted January 5, 2022 8 minutes ago, City Mouse said: Could they purchase an RV to live in? I once gave an old but not leaking travel trailer to a local young couple who needed to move out of parent’s apartment. 7 minutes ago, WildflowerMom said: Jenny, do they have enough money to buy a cheap RV and put it in an rv park? It could also be something they take with them when they're ready to move on. I don't know how much an RV costs, but I can't imagine that is financially feasible for them, no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted January 5, 2022 Author Share Posted January 5, 2022 @teachermom2834 Unfortunately, yes, I think that's where we are. I have very gently introduced into my conversations with her that when I was first starting out, I lived in some very questionable places (rented trailer in an extremely no-frills trailer park way outside of town; half of a "duplex" that was really not much more than a converted garage and in which my "kitchen" consisted of a convection oven, two-burner hot plate, mini-fridge and utility sink tucked into what had been a laundry room in the past; third-floor walk-up that was former attic space and, again, had a "kitchen" cobbled together with counter-top appliances . . .). She is in that phase of life, though, in which she is convinced that "things were different then," so I am not sure how much is getting through. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted January 5, 2022 Share Posted January 5, 2022 2 minutes ago, Jenny in Florida said: @teachermom2834 Unfortunately, yes, I think that's where we are. I have very gently introduced into my conversations with her that when I was first starting out, I lived in some very questionable places (rented trailer in an extremely no-frills trailer park way outside of town; half of a "duplex" that was really not much more than a converted garage and in which my "kitchen" consisted of a convection oven, two-burner hot plate, mini-fridge and utility sink tucked into what had been a laundry room in the past; third-floor walk-up that was former attic space and, again, had a "kitchen" cobbled together with counter-top appliances . . .). She is in that phase of life, though, in which she is convinced that "things were different then," so I am not sure how much is getting through. I understand. So many of us I’m sure could tell stories of places we have lived or our dhs or friends or siblings lived that were less than desirable yet we lived to tell about it. I always thought that was just part of coming up and making your way in the world. Though I will admit I do feel like things are harder now and absent really bad choices requiring really tough love I don’t see myself having my dc just suck it up when I could help them figure out how to be a little safer. However. This is not your dc and you have gone way above and beyond. And it has to stop somewhere and your dh and ds have told you now is time. And they will find somewhere to live. It just won’t be very nice. It’s FL so it might have a bug problem. There might be neighbors that make her uncomfortable. But that really is OK. They could live in a very nice place and still have bugs and cringey neighbors. They might need to live somewhere like this to help figure out their own priorities. Good luck to you. You have done a good thing and you are still doing a good thing. And I sure hope there is a peaceful resolution. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toocrazy!! Posted January 5, 2022 Share Posted January 5, 2022 I Agree you are going above and beyond here. You have been so supportive to allow her to stay with you, it sounds like she has a sad situation, which makes this so much harder in you I’m sure. It is hard for young adults who don’t have a fallback. It’s hard for lots of people! I know nothing about Orlando, but since it is a vacation area- are there hostels? Couch surfing arrangements? House sitting? Dog sitting? It does seem like there are no easy answers here. Something is going to have to give. What would happen to people their age without homes? Are there shelters? what’s their fallback when they both have to move out? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted January 5, 2022 Share Posted January 5, 2022 3 hours ago, Jenny in Florida said: I mentioned earlier that the bus thing is not something that she will be able to manage anytime soon. Seriously, y'all are just going to have to trust me. I've known this young woman for four or five years now, and she's made tons of progress, but there are some real sticking points that we're not going to be able to break through in the next three weeks. Just no. In terms of biking and walking paths, Orlando makes the list every year as one of the most dangerous cities in the country for bicyclists and pedestrians. And the area right around her work location is a nightmare, right on a major street and in not a great part of town. I'm pretty fearless about these things (to the point at which it makes my husband very nervous), and I get twitchy at the idea of her trying to walk or bike in that area, especially knowing that she would be doing so already feeling anxious and distracted. There is no campus nearby. I was going to post this, but you beat me to it. It is terrible for pedestrians/bikers. And then the public transit system also really sucks. I looked into buses when DS22 was doing dual enrollment and what was a 30-40 minute trip by car was 3 hours by bus. Each way. 6 hours of transport time a day is just not feasible when working or what not. Maybe she can ask around at work if anyone is looking for a roommate, so she'd have a built in ride to work? If there is some kind of bulliten board or virtual equivalent for the company that might be an avenue to explore? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 5, 2022 Share Posted January 5, 2022 2 hours ago, teachermom2834 said: I understand. So many of us I’m sure could tell stories of places we have lived or our dhs or friends or siblings lived that were less than desirable yet we lived to tell about it. I always thought that was just part of coming up and making your way in the world. Though I will admit I do feel like things are harder now and absent really bad choices requiring really tough love I don’t see myself having my dc just suck it up when I could help them figure out how to be a little safer. I do think it is different now. My first husband and I got an apartment in a mid size city for $155 per month. It was a nice apartment in a so so area....the same apartment now would not be considered 'nice', but probably basic. And something like that now would be at minimum $600 per month. LCOL area. So basically 4 times as much now. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted January 5, 2022 Author Share Posted January 5, 2022 (edited) 43 minutes ago, Scarlett said: I do think it is different now. My first husband and I got an apartment in a mid size city for $155 per month. It was a nice apartment in a so so area....the same apartment now would not be considered 'nice', but probably basic. And something like that now would be at minimum $600 per month. LCOL area. So basically 4 times as much now. I do think that's true. When I got my first "real" job 35-ish years ago, my salary was about the same as what my bonus YA makes now. And I paid about $350/month for a decent two-bedroom apartment in a not-fancy but nice, safe complex in Missouri. A very similar apartment in the same city -- which has a significantly lower cost of living than what we have here -- now starts at $900. In this area, a comparable two bedroom unit starts at $1,200. Edited January 5, 2022 by Jenny in Florida 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted January 5, 2022 Share Posted January 5, 2022 Things really have gotten more expensive and with that and the housing market getting so tight landlords have become pickier about who they rent to, income qualifications, credit checks, number per room etc. It just is harder. I never remember my parents co-signing for apartments for me. But that is why I think bonus kid and boyfriend are going to end up someplace not so nice for now and that Jenny has done all she could to help. Now- I don’t think this will help you at all- My 21 yo ds and his gf recently got an apartment in Sarasota and he had rented in Tampa and St Pete so we have done a little of this. It took a couple months on waiting lists for multiple places before something opened up. They were getting discouraged. They had a decent budget and good references and good credit. What I think happened is that my son’s girlfriend called the apartments every week asking about their status on the waiting lists. One day they had suddenly moved to the top of one list and were in an apartment the next week. So for a couple of young people with all their ducks in a row, full time jobs, rental and credit histories, and organized and aggressive enough to call and follow up repeatedly with these apartments, it still took a few months. So I really think the idea of getting them in any kind of traditional apartment that way is not going to happen by your deadline if ever. I think I would help them find an Airbnb as a short term measure to get her out of your house by the deadline. I know that sounds super cold. I’m just worried you are not going to be able to get her out and that seems like the thing that can happen on shortest notice. And then the AirBnB host can be the one to really tell them they need to leave 😞 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted January 5, 2022 Share Posted January 5, 2022 Also maybe looking at extended stay hotels that have studio apartments? Some not so nice ones, but might work. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 5, 2022 Share Posted January 5, 2022 https://www.apartmentguide.com/blog/can-you-rent-an-apartment-if-you-have-bad-credit/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 5, 2022 Share Posted January 5, 2022 https://apartmentabc.com/bad-credit-and-no-cosigner/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted January 5, 2022 Share Posted January 5, 2022 (edited) 6 minutes ago, ktgrok said: Also maybe looking at extended stay hotels that have studio apartments? Some not so nice ones, but might work. Where I live a lot of people in these situations do live in hotels, actually. Obviously they are a collection of people hard on their luck in various ways but it is a place to live. We have recommended extended stay hotels to our kids in various transitional phases. By the time you figure in utilities and not having to commit to a long term lease it might not be the worst thing even for a decent one short term. Edited January 5, 2022 by teachermom2834 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted January 6, 2022 Share Posted January 6, 2022 (edited) This is one company that has studios for a monthly rate - not sure if there is one near where they want to be. Works out to about 1300 a month, which is crazy, but it does include utilities, so there is that...https://www.redroof.com/checkout/select-rooms?DestId=HTS1085 Edited January 6, 2022 by ktgrok Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted January 6, 2022 Share Posted January 6, 2022 22 hours ago, Jenny in Florida said: He can't stay in his situation, because his lease is ending and his current roommates are moving out of state. As for the rest, she has explored those options but hasn't found anything workable. Could he extend the lease at the complex they are at or move to a different unit in the complex and get another couple to room with them? People pile four deep into two bedrooms here because rent is just expensive. Also, sadly, a reminder that this is their problem to solve. You've been more than generous, and I would encourage you to hold to the deadline. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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