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I'm feeling like Christmas is a bust...

theelfqueen

By theelfqueen,
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theelfqueen

theelfqueen

Posted
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I have struggled to have any motivation. I failed at shipping gifts to DS and DDIL (sent them money instead oh well). A package will find it's way their direction next week. I've been sick all of this week and that has impacted everything.  There are zero presents I'm excited about giving..there are gifts and they're fine but not great... I just feel....blah. I've been sick this week and that hasn't helped. 

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Harriet Vane

Harriet Vane

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Aww, there there. It's hard when you're sick. You've not failed at all--you have shown them that even suffering illness you love them and you keep them in mind and you want them to have something tangible from you. Tell your kids you love them--they treasure those words more than anything else. Rest and pamper yourself so you can gain new strength.

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Faith-manor

Faith-manor

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22 minutes ago, theelfqueen said:

I have struggled to have any motivation. I failed at shipping gifts to DS and DDIL (sent them money instead oh well). A package will find it's way their direction next week. I've been sick all of this week and that has impacted everything.  There are zero presents I'm excited about giving..there are gifts and they're fine but not great... I just feel....blah. I've been sick this week and that hasn't helped. 

💓💓💓

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*****

*****

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I hear where you are coming from. I have had a sinus infection all week that knocks me down, so I totally understand how you feel.  It happens. I am sure your family will understand. Hope you can have some time together, play some games or share a meal. Togetherness is what is important. 

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DreamerGirl

DreamerGirl

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I am typing this as I sit by the lit but barely ornamented tree as instrumental carols play. We had to cancel holidays with family we have not seen for 2 years. It was the big present, so rather blah presents as well. There is a wreath hung at the door but inside barely any decorations. No advent wreath or candles. But a candle is lit when we like.

Both DH and I are a little burned out.  So I get it and I am telling you what I tell myself. 

Do what you can. Don't feel pressure to do anything or feel anything you do not feel.

If you do not feel joy or excitement it is ok especially if you are sick.

Just do what you can, it will be more than ok.

I am focusing on simple joys and I wish you the same.

((Hugs))

 

Edited by DreamerGirl
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J-rap

J-rap

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Aww, I'm sorry.  Several years ago when our lives started to get a little crazy, it finally occurred to me that we could have a thrown-together meal and no presents, and still find beauty and mystery in it, beyond our expectations and traditions.   I hope you can find little pockets like that in your Christmas.  (And please give yourself a break!  You've been sick!  Your family will learn that that's just life, and that it's okay.)

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regentrude

regentrude

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I am sorry you are sick and feeling blah. 
I am not ill, but I can completely relate. Let go of the pressure. Christmas is just a day. The amount of presents and trimmings doesn't define relationships. (And people have too much stuff anyway.)
I hope you feel better soon.

Edited by regentrude
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prairiewindmomma

prairiewindmomma

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A few thoughts:

1. Christmas is whatever we want it to be. There is no rule that we have to have a tree or presents or special food. We often burden ourselves with expectations when there is no need.

2. If, as a family, you choose to do special things, it shouldn’t be our sole responsibility to bring the Christmas magic. That is a huge weight and while it has traditionally been placed on women/mothers, the reality is that there are lots of family members in a family and if you have a partner/spouse, they should be contributing to the holiday. 
 

3. If you are sick (physically or mentally), give yourself a lot of extra grace. You aren’t a failure for failing to do things when you are unwell.

—-signed, the lady is who is no longer pulling out the crystal and china for a multi course meal, but is ordering takeout tonight & watching Netflix

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fraidycat

fraidycat

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I haven't been sick, but I do not have much Christmas spirit at all this year. The tree is up (DH and DS brought it up and assembled it), it is undecorated. I did not even look in the Christmas containers of decorations. I bought two little gnome wooden ornaments and set them on the entertainment stand, and painted the snowman in my window. So far, we've all managed to survive and I agree with a PP that if my family wanted more, they are all old enough and capable enough to make it happen.

I'm not particularly excited about any gifts, though I hope the recipients like and enjoy them. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I'm really trying to simplify my life and only maintain the traditions that matter to my family. So far, that is the tree being up, watching Christmas movies, monster cookies, and having a (non-extravagant) gift exchange.

It's not failure, though. It is adapting and changing and making choices that fit within my time, budget, and energy level. 
 

Hugs. I hope you are able to let go of beating yourself up and are able to enjoy the holiday.
 

 

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popmom

popmom

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I’m in the same boat. First Christmas since going NC with my parents. One adult dd is spending Christmas with her boyfriend’s family, two dds have decided to go to my parents’ big gathering, and my youngest is broken hearted over it because she doesn’t want to be around my mother. I feel so bad. 
 

As my youngest just said, “This Christmas SUCKS.” 
 

Trying to figure out how to make it special for her tomorrow.

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Jenny in Florida

Jenny in Florida

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I am on the "this sucks" bus, too. Sorry to find I have so much company.

Unlike some other folks, I have done almost everything that needs doing. We did cut back a bit on the number of items purchased, but the shopping got done. Gifts that needed to be shipped went out on time and arrived on schedule. With the exception of one wonky thing we are still trying to figure out, everything is wrapped and under the tree. 

I spent this afternoon cooking and prepping everything that can reasonably be done ahead for tomorrow night's dinner.

So, what's my problem?

Well, I was already hanging on by a thread, emotionally, just because. We had a very topsy turvy couple of weeks (worst thing: death of a pet, best thing: promotion and big raise for me, and all kinds of thing in between), but I thought I was managing to rally. Things even came together so that my son and his girlfriend were going to be able to come spend part of Christmas day and have dinner with us.

Then one of their roommates was exposed to covid at work and tested positive yesterday.

So now it's extremely possible that the one year I am actually ready for the holiday with time to spare, there will be no one here with whom to celebrate.

At this point, any motivation I had to push through and attempt cheerfulness has drained out my fingertips.

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Corraleno

Corraleno

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I'm so sorry things are so hard this year, elfqueen. Sending big hugs and wishes for a speedy recovery.

Things are pretty subdued around here, too. For the first time in my life there are NO presents under the tree this year. The kids only wanted clothes, and they've already gotten everything I bought. I have a little candy for them tomorrow, but that's it. We live far from any relatives (on purpose), so it's just me and two adult kids who are both in the middle of breakups and are not feeling remotely festive. DD is breaking up by choice, but is still sad that a 2+ year relationship is ending, and DS is absolutely devastated that his college girlfriend just broke up with him by phone last night. (She couldn't at least wait until after Christmas???). And both of them are dreading the annual holiday FaceTime session with their crazy dad (that they otherwise have no contact with). So there is not a lot of Ho Ho Ho around here! 

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Kela

Kela

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I'm sorry. Being sick at the holidays really sucks.

I'm having a hard time with Christmas this year too. We are extremely understaffed right now and I am regretting volunteering to work Christmas. My kids are disappointed that we are doing it Sunday instead. This morning my kids accidentally  found their big gift which was for both of them and about the only thing they had to unwrap. I was heartbroken. They aren't really getting much else, so I feel like Christmas was just plain ruined this year.

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dirty ethel rackham

dirty ethel rackham

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@theelfqueen  I' so sorry you are having such a tough Christmas.  I've been there and I understand.  Give yourself some grace for being sick. 

I'm sorry that so many are struggling this Christmas.  It is so hard to grieve losses (big and small) and find that joy.  Ever since my mom died 12 years ago - 3 weeks before Christmas, we have struggled to find the spirit of the holidays.  And with K's illness, it has been especially difficult.  We have all struggled and had to find ways of making this holiday joyful.  

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popmom

popmom

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10 hours ago, popmom said:

I’m in the same boat. First Christmas since going NC with my parents. One adult dd is spending Christmas with her boyfriend’s family, two dds have decided to go to my parents’ big gathering, and my youngest is broken hearted over it because she doesn’t want to be around my mother. I feel so bad. 
 

As my youngest just said, “This Christmas SUCKS.” 
 

Trying to figure out how to make it special for her tomorrow.

Quoting myself to update: it just keeps getting weirder here. Dd24 spiked a fever. Everyone will be here for Christmas after all. Except she’ll have to isolate. 😕 All I know is I don’t want what she has because she feels terrible.

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Spryte

Spryte

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Thinking of you all, and sending good wishes. 

This might sound weird, but maybe it’s ok to just give yourselves permission to be sick, to let the holiday pass quietly. Some years are like that, and I hope everyone is better soon.

Here, we have a recurring bout of hives in one of our kids with history of anaphylaxis. We can’t figure out the source, and she’s pretty scared of all foods at this point. Ugh!

 

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Jenny in Florida

Jenny in Florida

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So, it turned out my son and his girlfriend were able to come over for a few hours last night. The have both tested negative repeatedly, as have all of the other roommates besides the one whom we know was exposed at work and is isolating in his room. My son's girlfriend came straight from a 10-hour shift at work that required her to stand all day and was really worn out by the time she arrived, but they did make it for dinner and gifting. 

Only when I was half asleep and on my way to bed did I notice that I had a missed call from our daughter. She called while our guests were here and, given that she and her brother haven't been on speaking terms for several years, we wouldn't have been able to pick up and chat at that point, anyway, but I feel badly we ended up not talking to her at all on Christmas. I did text her this morning and let her know we're around all day today. (I rarely call her, because her schedule is wonkier than ours.)

Dinner was fine. Gifting was fine. Hanging out with them was nice. 

Very much like Thanksgiving, in the end, everything was okay, but it didn't really feel like Christmas for me. 

I hope everyone else's day turned out at least a little bit better than we were expecting.

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