Having a Pity Party over here

[alysee]

Sigh. Decided we had to cancel any big social gatherings because of the Omicron variant and because here in Canada they have only started vaccinating 5-11yos So, it's no big Christmas gatherings. It's the 2nd Christmas in a row and only our 3rd Christmas since being back. Anyways, thanks for joining my pity party. 

[YaelAldrich]

@alysee I'm sorry; I bet you had lots of high hopes and now they are dashed. Zoom isn't ideal but maybe it will do the trick for now? 

[happi duck]

Many hugs!

I'll join you.  We are not joining my family's Christmas celebration.  I just don't feel safe and my family has had enough trauma.  My sibling, the host, actually doesn't want to gather but the others are really adamant and my sibling feels stuck.

I think it's the wrong time to chance getting together but it still hurts.

[TexasProud]

Hugs. I am really sorry. That truly stinks. 

[rebcoola]

Pity party away.  We are seeing my parents who are local but DH is working Christmas. We won't be going to the big New Year's Eve Party.  When it was held last year and like 40 people got infected.  They are changing nothing for this year.

[Spryte]

Joining you. Pity party here, too. I really wanted to host our annual NYE sleepover party for adults and kids. Not happening.

We are skipping all the big gatherings.

We are having a small get together with our extra parents, outside, this week, so we will at least see them once. And adult son and DIL are coming for Christmas—which carries its own batch of anxiety and worry re: exposure. But both those event will be low key, one household, testing, masking, outside as much as we can.

[mommyoffive]

Pity party away.  It is sad.  I think even extra sad around the holidays.  What we are all going through and have been through has been sad and hard on a lot of levels.  

We are going ahead with being in the big professional ballet Nutcracker that we do every year (not 2020).  There are lots of safety lines it in for cast, crew, and audience.  But I am still so worried.  I realized I have a lot of anxiety that has all been formulated during Covid.  I hope one day I can navigate the world again without it. I wish we could just enjoy things again like we did in 2019.  

[HomeAgain]

This is hard.  I'm leaning into that, because for the last almost two years, I've been stoic.  It's time to admit it's just HARD.  And it's not the parties or the cancellations or whatever else on the surface, it's the constant lack of human connection that is really starting to get to me.  It's the reworking traditions and trying to be excited without feeling let down and grieving what is missed, especially the "lasts". The last visit to Santa before a kid is too old.  The last time 22yo ds will be home for all the holiday stuff.  It's missing years of expected memories.  It's the near constant anxiety when deciding what is safe.  I'm just tired.

Sorry, I meant have a pity party - it's okay and I'll rsvp to that if you have room for one more.

[Faith-manor]

I am so sorry! This stinks so much.

[mommyoffive]

2 minutes ago, HomeAgain said:

This is hard.  I'm leaning into that, because for the last almost two years, I've been stoic.  It's time to admit it's just HARD.  And it's not the parties or the cancellations or whatever else on the surface, it's the constant lack of human connection that is really starting to get to me.  It's the reworking traditions and trying to be excited without feeling let down and grieving what is missed, especially the "lasts". The last visit to Santa before a kid is too old.  The last time 22yo ds will be home for all the holiday stuff.  It's missing years of expected memories.  It's the near constant anxiety when deciding what is safe.  I'm just tired.

Sorry, I meant have a pity party - it's okay and I'll rsvp to that if you have room for one more.

Oh I am crying a little talking about Visting Santa.  I asked my 6 year old what she wanted for Christmas.  And I told her normally you go see Santa and sit on his lap and tell him what you want.  Her eyes opened wide like it was the craziest thing she had ever heard.  We didn't go see Santa in 2019 when she would have been 3 turning 4 because we were busy with Nutcracker.  I had no idea we wouldn't be able to do it the next year.  So, she has no memory of ever going to see Santa and doing that.  I know it is a dumb thing to be sad about, but I still am.    I want her to have that memory.   In our town life goes on with no masks everywhere.  Breakfast with Santa went on.  IT is hard to not be doing all the normal things we used to do.  

IT is hard.  The lost of human connection is so hard.  I went to the store last night.  I knew it wasn't the safe thing.  But I went.  When someone randomly said something to me shopping it just felt so go.  So normal.  I wish normal was back.  I wish we could see people smile hello.  I cling to my kids.  Gosh they have handled this with so much grace.  Never complained once.  They will mask everywhere.  They will test every day.  They will not see their friends in person for over a year, miss a year of seeing their family and just not complain.  IT has taken a lot from them and affected them in a lot of ways too. 

I think this year is even harder than last year, because you feel so unsure about the future.  Last year was scary, but I was clinging onto the hope of getting a vaccine and then this was going to be better.  

[Kassia]

15 minutes ago, mommyoffive said:

Oh I am crying a little talking about Visting Santa. 

I think this year is even harder than last year, because you feel so unsure about the future.  Last year was scary, but I was clinging onto the hope of getting a vaccine and then this was going to be better.  

Aw, I'm sorry about your little one!  

I agree about this year being harder.  I was so optimistic over the summer after being vaccinated and now it just feels like we're in the same place we were last year.  More people protected with vaccines but also people are weary of it all and not taking precautions like they used to.  

[73349]

I'm sorry you're missing your traditions.

It's not really bothering me that this is going to be another do-nothing winter; it's that I don't see anything else ahead. People just don't seem to be willing to do what it takes. And IMO humans' wit, information-sharing, and cooperation are effectively our only defense against major challenges, so people just opting out, en masse, of the proven solutions... yeah, we're toast. This, evidently, is life on Earth in the 21st century.

Edited December 14, 2021 by Carolina Wren

[DreamerGirl]

Joining you in your pity party.

I am incredibly grateful for having gone to see family in my country of origin, DH got to go too at a later time. But we have missed out on so much.

My little girl is 5. We used to travel a lot, have our parents come and stay with us for months. We have all these pictures of her doing things. But almost everything that happened, she was too little to remember and she is so sad.

We were supposed to go to the UK for Christmas. That is the closest family we have geographically so we spent a lot of holidays together. Now, not possible. DD is already so little and missed out on shared memories  DS14 has with cousins. But now, she may never get the chance. 

I try to see the positive and blessings. But this time of year especially it is so hard. ((hugs))

[whitestavern]

I feel your pain. I just cancelled the small gathering we were planning on having this weekend. D was exposed at college last Friday and found out today 2 of her roommates were contact traced from a gathering yesterday. I think her chances are good she won’t get it but all involved were vaxxed so who knows. I can’t risk it because of the elderly visiting, though they are boosted. 

[Hilltopmom]

I’m joining the pity party- My little one just tested positive (caught it at school) and I had to tell big brother he can’t come home from college for Xmas 😞 🎄 

And we’re missing  all the fun stuff we had planned for school this week and next (I’m a teacher & this is their first year at school). It’s the only thing we do these days too.

ETA- big brother has a bunch of medical appts scheduled so he’s going to stay at grandmas, at least 

Edited December 17, 2021 by Hilltopmom

[freesia]

I’m trying to head off a pity party. I just have no idea whether we will make it to see my mom. My kids haven’t seen her in person for two years. I  am kicking myself for not making it happen for two of them this fall. We canceled our summer get together bc of Delta. Ds was exposed Monday at college but so far so good—his PCR is Saturday. Dd is flying in today. She had a negative PCR to fly ( 24 hour kind) so I know she’s okay right now—but she’s flying. Hope the Kn95s work. We are skipping co-op today and lying low, but right now I see a 30% chance we’ll make it to my mom’s for one reason or another ( staying at brother’s who also have a college kid flying in). Sigh. We are all vaccinated. We are doing all the right things. I want to see my 82 year old mother without worrying about it. 

[Kassia]

Joining the pity party.  We're taking a lot of risks that I'm extremely uncomfortable with but the rest of my family feels fine about.  It's making me anxious and upset.  This is a total repeat of last year.  Everything turned out fine last year but that doesn't mean it will this year.  And I hate being worried about everyone's health and resentful that other people in my family are either being inconsiderate, stubborn, or just not taking this as seriously as they should (or all three at once).  It's causing a lot of tension and unpleasant feelings that wouldn't be there if it weren't for Covid.  Again.

 

 

 

[TexasProud]

Absolutely. You have every single right to have a pity party. It stinks!!!

[J-rap]

I'm not so sad about not having big gatherings...  We're still having our small gatherings (Our immediate family and my dad) and will be doing special activities.  But I've become pretty sad about the state of the country and how some people -- people I thought I knew -- are dealing with everything.  How can educated people listen to stuff that's clearly baloney and care more about their individual rights than at least appearing like they actually care about others?

[Katy]

Joining.  Well, on behalf of DH.  He is downright depressed about Pfizer not doing more comprehensive dose testing on those under 5.  He was hoping they would come out with a vaccine for our high risk child the week after Christmas but that's not happening. I know there's a few promotions he wants to apply for, but with the current situation there's no way he wants us to move until the little one is vaccinated.  I'm kind of meh about the whole thing.

[Shoeless]

I'll bring cookies to this pity party. 

My 75 year old aunt is in the hospital on a vent with non-covid pneumonia. I am 2000 miles away and may never see her again. If she doesn't make it, I can't go to the funeral. It's too far to go and put everyone there at risk. If I came down with Covid, which elderly relative draws the short straw to let me quarantine at their house? How fair is that to them? How fair is it to DH and DS, who'd be home, 2000 miles away, wondering if I am ok? What if I needed hospital care? My relatives would obviously step up and help coordinate care, but that's a big ask. 

My sister called to update on my aunt, and I just cried and cried. I want to go home and I can't. 

Edited December 18, 2021 by MissLemon

[Spryte]

Can I join twice?

DD has been patiently waiting for her shots. Once we got her appt in Nov, she and her BFF planned a sleepover for the day that DD would be two weeks past second shot. They made countdown calendars, talked endlessly. We bought the goodies and new games, and planned for two nights. Omicron appeared on the scene but no way would we cancel this. The hope of this has sustained DD for months. It was to be yesterday, and at the very last minute — sibling of BFF started running a high temp. Canceled. DD is crushed. I am heartbroken for her.

[Pippen]

I'm so sorry for all of you and yours who are missing out. 😢

[freesia]

2 hours ago, Spryte said:

Can I join twice?

DD has been patiently waiting for her shots. Once we got her appt in Nov, she and her BFF planned a sleepover for the day that DD would be two weeks past second shot. They made countdown calendars, talked endlessly. We bought the goodies and new games, and planned for two nights. Omicron appeared on the scene but no way would we cancel this. The hope of this has sustained DD for months. It was to be yesterday, and at the very last minute — sibling of BFF started running a high temp. Canceled. DD is crushed. I am heartbroken for her.

Oh, I’m so sorry. My dd12 was supposed to have her first sleep over in the form of a party in spring 2020. It was canceled and she’s wanted, but never had a sleepover since. She keeps asking. I am sad for her. 

[Not_a_Number]

2 hours ago, Spryte said:

Can I join twice?

DD has been patiently waiting for her shots. Once we got her appt in Nov, she and her BFF planned a sleepover for the day that DD would be two weeks past second shot. They made countdown calendars, talked endlessly. We bought the goodies and new games, and planned for two nights. Omicron appeared on the scene but no way would we cancel this. The hope of this has sustained DD for months. It was to be yesterday, and at the very last minute — sibling of BFF started running a high temp. Canceled. DD is crushed. I am heartbroken for her.

Oh, geez. How disappointing. 

[Not_a_Number]

I want to join the pity party. We were supposed to fly to California to see our friends -- it's our usual New Year's trip and we obviously didn't do it last year. And now it feels totally unsafe flying and I don't even know if we can drive 😞. 

And we promised the kids more indoor activities post-vaccine, too 😕 . DD9 feels kind of cheated. 

[Kassia]

8 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

DD9 feels kind of cheated. 

I bet she does!  So many adults feel that way - it must be even harder on the poor kids.  😞 

[KungFuPanda]

Ugh.  I feel your pain.  I told my mother she couldn't come for Christmas because her foster son isn't vaccinated.  The school district where my daughter teaches just went virtual again, but she has to work from the school building. She's a county over.  Our county just cancelled all extracurriculars until mid-January.  This is endless.

[Not_a_Number]

1 minute ago, Kassia said:

I bet she does!  So many adults feel that way - it must be even harder on the poor kids.  😞 

It really is. 

I feel really glad I had the foresight to start our hybrid online/in-person co-op last spring (I didn't think we were done because of the vaccines, alas.) It has really anchored things. The kids get along and really like each other and i's been something the kids have been looking forward to each week. (They have online classes and a playground playdate.) 

[Spryte]

26 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

I want to join the pity party. We were supposed to fly to California to see our friends -- it's our usual New Year's trip and we obviously didn't do it last year. And now it feels totally unsafe flying and I don't even know if we can drive 😞. 

And we promised the kids more indoor activities post-vaccine, too 😕 . DD9 feels kind of cheated. 

I’m sorry. 😞

Yes, I feel so upset for our kids who waited patiently for the vaccines, finally got them and bam, Omicron. 
 

 

 

Edited December 18, 2021 by Spryte

[Mrs Tiggywinkle]

My kids feel the same way.  They were among the first kids in the area to be fully vaccinated, and now everyone is back to wearing masks indoors; things are being cancelled and I strongly suspect school is headed back virtual in January.  My local county is not doing a genome on tests so we don’t know, but Omicrom is present 20 miles away and I have suddenly had many sick, Covid positive patients who are fully vaccinated and a couple who were boostered as well.   I suspect it’s here and evading vaccines.  Fortunately—we aren’t talking ventilator sick, but sick enough to feel absolutely miserable still. 

[Not_a_Number]

9 minutes ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle said:

My kids feel the same way.  They were among the first kids in the area to be fully vaccinated, and now everyone is back to wearing masks indoors; things are being cancelled and I strongly suspect school is headed back virtual in January.  My local county is not doing a genome on tests so we don’t know, but Omicrom is present 20 miles away and I have suddenly had many sick, Covid positive patients who are fully vaccinated and a couple who were boostered as well.   I suspect it’s here and evading vaccines.  Fortunately—we aren’t talking ventilator sick, but sick enough to feel absolutely miserable still. 

How do the symptoms compare so far? 

[freesia]

42 minutes ago, Spryte said:

I’m sorry. 😞

Yes, I feel so upset for our kids who waited patiently for the vaccines, finally got them and bam, Omicron. 
 

 

 

That’s what dd keeps saying—I just got vaccinated and now it doesn’t even matter.

[Mrs Tiggywinkle]

53 minutes ago, Not_a_Number said:

How do the symptoms compare so far? 

My friends that work healthcare up near Cornell report nearly no increase in hospitalization.  Those are confirmed Omnicron cases.  The ones I am seeing feel like a crappy flu and skew older and with more comorbidities than a college student.  So they may not be having severe respiratory symtoms but dehydration and general misery is still a factor.  Our hospitalizations are holding steady, no super increase but no decrease.  However we are only 54% fully vaxxed and I expect Delta is still rampant.  But I am side eyeing the patients who report they are fully vaccinated and even boostered who are still Covid positive and flu-like.  We weren’t seeing a ton of sick Covid positive patients who were double vaxxed until about the last four weeks. Some, but not like I am now. I suspect we have Omnicron and just don’t know it. 

Edited December 18, 2021 by Mrs Tiggywinkle

[KSera]

1 hour ago, Spryte said:

Yes, I feel so upset for our kids who waited patiently for the vaccines, finally got them and bam, Omicron. 
 

So much this. We have this going on here as well. I’m so sorry about your dd’s sleepover 😔. 

[Spryte]

18 minutes ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle said:

My friends that work healthcare up near Cornell report nearly no increase in hospitalization.  Those are confirmed Omnicron cases.  The ones I am seeing feel like a crappy flu and skew older and with more comorbidities than a college student.  So they may not be having severe respiratory symtoms but dehydration and general misery is still a factor.  Our hospitalizations are holding steady, no super increase but no decrease.  However we are only 54% fully vaxxed and I expect Delta is still rampant.  But I am side eyeing the patients who report they are fully vaccinated and even boostered who are still Covid positive and flu-like.  We weren’t seeing a ton of sick Covid positive patients who were double vaxxed until about the last four weeks. Some, but not like I am now. I suspect we have Omnicron and just don’t know it. 

Do you think it’s possible that it’s partly the waning immunity issue? Or are they all saying they are boosted, too?

Edited December 18, 2021 by Spryte

[Mrs Tiggywinkle]

15 minutes ago, Spryte said:

Do you think it’s possible that it’s partly the waning immunity issue? Or all they are saying they are boosted, too?

Oh definitely a possibility.  My last shift I had 15 ambulance transports.  9 were Covid positive. 4 reported being fully vaccinated and boostered; the other 5 were a mixture of unvaxxed or fully vaccinated over 6 months.  1 stated she was fully vaccinated over 6 months and had Covid in early 2021.  Nobody required extensive respiratory support like CPAP or BiPap.  I think one had a low ish Spo2 and I gave a little oxygen.  Mostly flu like symptoms.

So this is one data set from one person on one day in one small city, so not very reliable. But it’s a snapshot of what’s going on here.