Thanks

[Drama Llama]

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Edited December 5, 2021 by Baseballandhockey

[Rosie_0801]

It can be a bit chaotic. Sometimes it's like cleaning under the bed. You gotta pull stuff out, piling it up in the limited amount of floor space, so you can sort through and figure out what you're going to do with it.

[Slache]

Yes.

You have to reset the bone before it can heal.

[popmom]

It depends on the type of therapy IMO.

I tried therapy several times for Trichotillomania (compulsive hair pulling), and every time I had to quit. The behavioral therapy made me too focused on that behavior. I always ended up feeling a failure and more depressed. I really wish I had a therapist that encouraged acceptance instead. 
 

My current therapy…over healing from narc abuse doesn’t make me feel that way at all. It’s hard, and I have really hard days—even bordering on panic, but it’s good for me. I really feel so much better/stronger overall. 

[popmom]

11 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said:

It can be a bit chaotic. Sometimes it's like cleaning under the bed. You gotta pull stuff out, piling it up in the limited amount of floor space, so you can sort through and figure out what you're going to do with it.

Agree!

[gardenmom5]

I agree it depends upon the type of therapy.  Finding one that is a good fit for your issue, can make progress much faster.

[Melissa Louise]

Hmm..yes...but in a productive way. It's not easy though.

But when I did CBT I felt a lot worse, mostly because it didn't work and I felt like a CBT failure.

Idk if 'worse' or 'better' is a good metric, actually. A better metric for me is 'do I trust my therapist?' 

Many times the answer has been no. If you feel worse and you don't trust your therapist, then time to reconsider this round of therapy. 

If you feel worse and you do trust your therapist, it's a good thing to talk about in therapy. 

 

[popmom]

6 minutes ago, Melissa Louise said:

Hmm..yes...but in a productive way. It's not easy though.

But when I did CBT I felt a lot worse, mostly because it didn't work and I felt like a CBT failure.

Idk if 'worse' or 'better' is a good metric, actually. A better metric for me is 'do I trust my therapist?' 

Many times the answer has been no. If you feel worse and you don't trust your therapist, then time to reconsider this round of therapy. 

If you feel worse and you do trust your therapist, it's a good thing to talk about in therapy. 

 

This is helpful. When I was younger, I wasn’t capable of this. I was so much a people pleaser that I didn’t feel like I could express such things. 

[Carrie12345]

In some instances, no. In others, Rosie’s analogy is spot on. In all of my experiences, once I found the right therapist, it was worth it.

[kristin0713]

This is very specific to the type if therapy.

My DD is in therapy for anxiety and OCD. It is WORK. It’s hard and uncomfortable. Everything they tackle gets worse before it gets better. But it does get better. 

DH and I went to family counseling with his mom because of major issues we were having with her. It helped us a lot immediately, especially the sessions we attended without her. The therapist was able to help us identify the root of the issues and how to deal with her.

 

[PronghornD]

I found that my anxiety briefly skyrocketed to an almost unbearable level, but that did not last very long.

[Kassia]

It definitely got worse for me and then I quit therapy before finding out if it would improve.  I had young kids at home and my DH wasn't home much due to work and I was having terrible nightmares and was quite emotional/distraught between therapy sessions because the therapist was actually reaching me.  I just couldn't be in that condition while raising young children.  I do regret quitting but don't know what I could have done differently at the time.  

[ScoutTN]

8 hours ago, Rosie_0801 said:

It can be a bit chaotic. Sometimes it's like cleaning under the bed. You gotta pull stuff out, piling it up in the limited amount of floor space, so you can sort through and figure out what you're going to do with it.

Very good description.

[catz]

I definitely  this way when I was processing trauma and anxiety with a therapist.   It was like it didn’t fully process and grieve some feelings the first time around.   

[Murphy101]

Yes but also be aware it’s 100% normal to go through 2-4 therapists before you find the one that clicks for you or your situation. 

So you have to be honest with yourself over whether it’s getting harder bc the therapist is not working for you or because you are finally digging deep into hard things to deal with them. 

[MooCow]

3 hours ago, FuzzyCatz said:

I definitely  this way when I was processing trauma and anxiety with a therapist.   It was like it didn’t fully process and grieve some feelings the first time around.   

 

Edited December 5, 2021 by MooCow

[Pam in CT]

For me, both this insight...

8 hours ago, Melissa Louise said:

...Idk if 'worse' or 'better' is a good metric, actually. A better metric for me is 'do I trust my therapist?' 

Many times the answer has been no. If you feel worse and you don't trust your therapist, then time to reconsider this round of therapy. 

If you feel worse and you do trust your therapist, it's a good thing to talk about in therapy. 

 

 

...and (but?)  also this one...

21 minutes ago, Murphy101 said:

Yes but also be aware it’s 100% normal to go through 2-4 therapists before you find the one that clicks for you or your situation. 

So you have to be honest with yourself over whether it’s getting harder bc the therapist is not working for you or because you are finally digging deep into hard things to deal with them. 

... are important.

 

It's 100% normal to go through several therapists before finding the "click."  That can be because, as several pp have experienced, the type of therapy isn't what's called for in the moment; or it can be because not all therapists are all that good; or it can be because chemistry is a real thing - good person, good therapist, bad fit nonetheless.  In any of those circumstances, the constructive action is to find a different type of therapy or different therapist.

But it also definitely can be because the therapy patient isn't yet ready - is resisting going to therapy at all and projecting that fear/anxiety onto the provider; or is still stuck stalwart in blamecasting mode, which inhibits how effective even a good therapist can be.

I've been in both places.  A *good* therapist can discern either place eventually; and a *good* therapist will direct to another provider in due time. But if a patient isn't relentlessly honest about what effort and orientation they're bringing to the therapy, a lot of time will be wasted even with an excellent therapist.

 

[Terabith]

deleted

Edited December 5, 2021 by Terabith

[dirty ethel rackham]

11 hours ago, Rosie_0801 said:

It can be a bit chaotic. Sometimes it's like cleaning under the bed. You gotta pull stuff out, piling it up in the limited amount of floor space, so you can sort through and figure out what you're going to do with it.

Hit the nail on the head!!  If you've been coping by stuffing the hard stuff, then you've got to pull out the hard stuff to deal with it.  

2 hours ago, FuzzyCatz said:

I definitely  this way when I was processing trauma and anxiety with a therapist.   It was like it didn’t fully process and grieve some feelings the first time around.   

Yes!  Grief un-processed is grief delayed.  

2 hours ago, Murphy101 said:

Yes but also be aware it’s 100% normal to go through 2-4 therapists before you find the one that clicks for you or your situation. 

So you have to be honest with yourself over whether it’s getting harder bc the therapist is not working for you or because you are finally digging deep into hard things to deal with them. 

Sometimes an otherwise good therapist may not be a good fit or not fully see what you need to be able to move forward.  I had one lovely therapist who was way more focused on coping methods than I needed at the time.  (if I heard "mindfulness" one more time, I was going to scream. )  I found a therapist who understood what I needed was to grieve first before moving forward.  That was very very hard, but she was a safe place to do that.  And there were days when I felt like $#!t after a session and felt pretty fragile, but I felt safe with her.  And I knew I could reach out in between sessions if I needed to.  

4 minutes ago, Terabith said:

I just want to say that even though it is hard, and sometimes finding the right therapist takes a couple of tries, and sometimes you can get a little worse for awhile, it's 100% worth it.  

The truth will set you free but first it will make you miserable.  

But, you're miserable anyway.  It's worth taking a chance to get better.  And you've had a LOT of trauma that needs some processing.  A good therapist will make sure that the discomfort is within your tolerances.  They aren't going to want you in constant crisis between sessions.  

 

[Drama Llama]

I didn’t mean to start a conversation about me.  

[MooCow]

@Baseballandhockey girl, you know we got your back 👍

[Melissa Louise]

In general, fit is more important than modality - there needs to be a 'warm, unconditional regard' between therapist and patient. 

If I was observing someone else and seeing regression track therapy - hmmm...it would depend on what I meant by 'worse'? Function? Affect? More or increased symptoms? 

I think the last would concern me more than variations in the first two.