Starting university young - pros and cons - a Chooky reflection

[chocolate-chip chooky]

My youngest is now one year into her university double-degree. She started at 14, and is now 15. I get the impression this isn't too unheard of in the US, but here in Australia, this was quite unusual, and we had a few hoops to jump through to make it happen.

But now that we're a year in, I thought I'd reflect on the pros and cons, in case it is helpful for anyone else heading towards a similar situation.

Honestly, this has been the best thing possible for my daughter. This year has been *very* positive for her, both academically and socially. It's hard to conjure up many cons.

The only possible cons have been:

- I have to be on campus with her up until she is 16. Not every parent could juggle their other commitments to make this possible, so we're very fortunate that we've managed to make this work.

- Her friends are all in their 20s, and she can't participate in some of the social events which are at 18+ venues. 

- She can't participate in some activities due to her age eg volunteer, tutoring, research

 

The academics are all going exceptionally well, but the biggest positive of this year has to be social. For the first time ever, my daughter has found her people. This has been huge.

Edited December 2, 2021 by chocolate-chip chooky

[maize]

I am glad to hear she is having such a positive experience!

What degrees is she working towards?

[chocolate-chip chooky]

9 minutes ago, maize said:

I am glad to hear she is having such a positive experience!

What degrees is she working towards?

She's doing Bachelor of Communications/Bachelor of Arts.  

[Wheres Toto]

My 16 year old son is starting at our community college this year, primarily for social reasons.  He's a HUGE introvert, but the lack of social time from Covid has been too much even for him.   I'm really hoping he's able to find his people. 

[UHP]

8 hours ago, chocolate-chip chooky said:

My youngest is now one year into her university double-degree. She started at 14, and is now 15. I get the impression this isn't too unheard of in the US, but here in Australia, this was quite unusual, and we had a few hoops to jump through to make it happen.

That's really interesting. Can you tell us what your daughter was up to, or what she was like, in the year or two leading up to her early college start? It sounds like it was worth jumping through hoops.

[chocolate-chip chooky]

1 hour ago, UHP said:

That's really interesting. Can you tell us what your daughter was up to, or what she was like, in the year or two leading up to her early college start? It sounds like it was worth jumping through hoops.

It certainly has been worth the hoop-jumping 🙂 

What sort of things would you like to know? I'm not sure where to start, other than she was homeschooled for 9 years, in a pretty eclectic way. 

To be accepted into university here there are a range of criteria and prerequisites, so our final year or two of homeschooling was tweaked to meet those criteria.

 

[UHP]

6 hours ago, chocolate-chip chooky said:

What sort of things would you like to know? I'm not sure where to start, other than she was homeschooled for 9 years, in a pretty eclectic way. 

To be accepted into university here there are a range of criteria and prerequisites, so our final year or two of homeschooling was tweaked to meet those criteria.

I'm not sure. My daughter will turn 7 shortly. I only have the cloudiest picture of what the next 7 will be like, just fantasies and anxieties. But I recognize 14 as a milestone year when lots of us have to decide whether to send them to high school or to keep on homeschooling.

If "send them to college" is a third option, I assume it only makes sense in very special circumstances! I was just curious what your special circumstances are, maybe it is a nosy question.

[MamaSprout]

I'm glad it's worked for your dd!

Our data point (since this is a "in case someone searches" thread.) My dd started at 14, but we made a choice to push back full-time college until 17, mostly for social/ executive function reasons, but also because she wants to go STEM, and really needs Calc 1 & 2 under her belt to have a chance of keeping up with a cohort (she had high school science done at 15). At 16 she's thriving with a heavy DE load, but room for "fun" but rigorous homeschool classes. She has friends on campus, but many of them are connected to local homeschoolers or are lab partners and such. Since she's STEM, she's often the only or one of 2-3 females in a lab. I much prefer that for her as a confident 16 year old who passes older than the scrawny 14 year old that she once was.

 

Edited December 3, 2021 by MamaSprout

[Dmmetler]

We did close to full time EC locally, but staying enrolled as a high school student on paper from age 11, and then at 16, this past fall, my kid moved onto a LAC campus as a full time residential student. It has truly been a great situation. My kid picked a Women's college, so being a woman in STEM is common there, which I'm sure helped. Socially, it has been by far the best situation yet. The combination of academics, time management and general EF has made it challenging, but challenge is a good thing.  Having a normal, structured routine and regular social contacts has done wonders for anxiety, too. 

 

Finals are next week, and I'm looking forward to having about a month with my family under one roof again. 

 

[chocolate-chip chooky]

4 hours ago, UHP said:

I'm not sure. My daughter will turn 7 shortly. I only have the cloudiest picture of what the next 7 will be like, just fantasies and anxieties. But I recognize 14 as a milestone year when lots of us have to decide whether to send them to high school or to keep on homeschooling.

If "send them to college" is a third option, I assume it only makes sense in very special circumstances! I was just curious what your special circumstances are, maybe it is a nosy question.

Definitely not a nosy question! I'm the one who opened the conversation after all 🙂 

At age 7, I had not even an inkling that early university could be an option or a reality for my daughter. It wasn't anywhere near my radar.

It really only began to clarify when my daughter was 13, and she was finishing highschool subjects.

We had been homeschooling in a very eclectic and kind of unschooly way, and not following any rigid curricula. I was just planning her learning based on her needs and interests. But when I realised that she had mastered all of highschool content, I decided to have her sit official exams, so that I had the proof of that mastery. Along with subject exams, I also had her sit the SAT.

Applying for uni followed soon after, and truly, without all of that proof, no one would have listened to me when I said my 14 year old was ready for university.

And it really depends on where you live. Homeschooling rules vary so much, and entry requirements for university vary so much. Our experience is specific to Queensland, Australia. 

[Xahm]

Thank you for sharing. We're not near this decision yet (and who knows what the future holds), but it's helpful to hear. I've heard/read some parents say that how old their child looks affects the college experience. Do your daughter's friends know immediately how young she is, just that she's a bit younger, or does she have to tell them for them to know? Either way, it sounds like they've been very accepting,

[chocolate-chip chooky]

5 hours ago, Xahm said:

Thank you for sharing. We're not near this decision yet (and who knows what the future holds), but it's helpful to hear. I've heard/read some parents say that how old their child looks affects the college experience. Do your daughter's friends know immediately how young she is, just that she's a bit younger, or does she have to tell them for them to know? Either way, it sounds like they've been very accepting,

That's a really good point.

At 14, she could easily pass as 18+, both in physical appearance and also in general confidence and maturity. No one would have a clue how young she is unless she tells them.

She tells people her age on a need-to-know basis. So, anyone who she thinks will be inner-circle, or anyone who needs to know that she's romantically off-limits is told early on. 

She's worked closely with classmates for academic assignments who wouldn't have had a clue that she was 14/15. It just didn't seem relevant or necessary to mention it in that scenario.

 

[Dmmetler]

I do think it makes a difference. At 12, at the local college, there was no way for L to blend in. At 16, living on campus at a different school, it really isn’t all obvious, and the only obstacle is that I need to co-sign more stuff.

[8filltheheart]

On 12/3/2021 at 12:21 PM, MamaSprout said:

I'm glad it's worked for your dd!

... My dd started at 14, but we made a choice to push back full-time college until 17, mostly for social/ executive function reasons,....

On 12/3/2021 at 8:07 AM, UHP said:

I'm not sure. My daughter will turn 7 shortly. I only have the cloudiest picture of what the next 7 will be like, just fantasies and anxieties. But I recognize 14 as a milestone year when lots of us have to decide whether to send them to high school or to keep on homeschooling.

If "send them to college" is a third option, I assume it only makes sense in very special circumstances! I was just curious what your special circumstances are, maybe it is a nosy question.

 

@UHP You definitely don't need to be worrying about decisions regarding college at age 7.  Educational options are always changing and it is impossible to anticipate what new options might be available over the next decade.

Our approach is even more strict than @MamaSprout's.  We don't want our kids graduating early even though we have had 2 so far that definitely could have fully enrolled in college at a much younger age.  We have a multitude of reasons for that decision, and as adults, I know our kids are glad we held them off the faster track.  Our views extend beyond just social and educational experiences (though those are definitely amg our top reasons.)  Other major factors are selecting a career path at a young age (though our 2 ended up majoring in their same areas of interest in college, though they have veered toward other interests in careers now) and college costs. 

The latter is HUGE for our family.  Advanced kids who really make the most of high school can be extremely competitive for scholarships.  Our 2 advanced kids both ended up with major scholarships (and graduated from college with $$ in the bank) that were additionally connected to special programs with additional opportunities at their respective schools.  Those programs really made their college experiences and opened up a lot of additional opportunities.  Neither would have stood out on their college applications if they had graduated from high school at a younger age simply bc they had finished high school courses.  During traditional high school ages they really blossomed and used homeschooling to excel in areas of interest and seek out high school age focused opportunities.  One dual enrolled in upper level math and physics at our local 4 yr universities, but since he was still in high school he was eligible to attend astronomy camps like SSP (Summer Science Program – "The educational experience of a lifetime"…since 1959 ) and compete in high school physics competitions (he won 1st place at one where he was awarded a 4 yr tuition scholarship that was eligible to stack on top of his other scholarships the U gave him.)  One opted not to DE and spent high school studying all sorts of unique courses that she loved.  She graduated with 15 foreign language credits across 3 languages (she was fluent in French by the time she graduated from high school) and was selected to be on the US team for an international olympiad.  (Olympiada of Spoken Russian - ACTR She went on a fully funded trip to compete in Moscow where she won a 3rd place award for a speech she gave.)

Those high school opportunities opened doors at the collegiate level that in turn opened doors at the post-UG level.  Ds was offered multiple REU (Research Experiences for Undergrads) opportunities every single summer as an UG student (not typical) and even though he attended an avg U, he was offered admission to tippy-top grad programs around the country.  Dd was invited to participate in CLS twice (Critical Language Scholarship).  Their competitiveness for their various opportunities all go back to what they were able to accomplish in high school and the snowball effect.  Their trajectories as adults would have been completely different if they had graduated high school based on completing high school courses vs waiting until 18.   

I will share that both as adults struggled with making decisions to alter career paths.  I am glad they were older with the maturity and financial independence (no debt to worry about) to switch gears bc if they had only been 18 or 20, they may have not been as sure of themselves and 2nd guessed even more. Ds decided not to complete his PhD (he struggled with the decision and completed 1 yr beyond his master's) and is now working with a top CS API company (and absolutely loves it.) Dd is focusing on grad school for MLIS with archival studies (which completely goes back to her unique studies during high school and totally fits her personality.)  She hopes to use her foreign languages in specialized archives.

Anyway, that is an alternative perspective to academic level as the main driving force for high school graduation.

[MamaSprout]

DON'T QUOTE PLEASE.

I guess it's an individual family decision for sure, but I do feel like early-college entrance is a least-worst choice for a lot of families. Some of the best, most interesting things we've done as a part of our homeschooling has been the last few years as she's finished up traditional high school courses and done things that are beyond high school but not traditional college DE stuff.

8 makes some very good points. Our situation is slightly different. I did not intend to send this last dd to college at 17 (her brothers both went at 19), but it's the right choice for her for many of the same reasons that 18 makes sense for 8's kids;

Dd has wanted to be an engineer since she was 12, so she's very sure about her career path.

She's out of classes that would transfer into an engineering degree, and most of her areas of interest really are summer opportunities that will continue into college summers... or engineering.

She's our last kid at home and her siblings and their families are far away. She's lacks peers here. Her closest friends have either graduated or will this year. We're in a financial position that doesn't qualify her for much other than merit money, and that's not going to change much with another year. 

She has friends from some of the types of summer programs that 8 talks about (but engineering-based) that will be freshman at her first-choice school in the fall. It's a tuition-exchange school with the university where I work, so her best chance at a scholarships is actually through my employer. I don't want to work where I'm at forever, so getting her started sooner-rather-than-later (if she gets the scholarship) makes more sense. 

Her extracurriculars are starting to end. She's served as president to ...everything, and her CAP group has taken a more drill-and-military turn with much less aerospace. Her swim team is mostly middle schoolers. She swims with some retired adults during the day and just shows up for meets.

She really wants to go. She declined to apply for a school-year study abroad next year that had a substantial scholarship attached to it that had almost no applicants. She just really doesn't want to do another year of high school, here or abroad. 

Given all of that, though, I would not have sent her at 16. I feel like she's caught her stride this last year and I've really enjoyed having the time with her as an almost adult.

Edited December 28, 2021 by MamaSprout

[freesia]

MamaSprout, one thing I’ve learned raising teens is never say never. What is right for one teen may be completely 180 degrees from what was right for another. So, while I would say I lean no early college, I, too, have a child four years younger than the next sibling up and I just cannot say what will be right for her when the time comes. It sounds like you are a wonderful responsive parent. Thanks for sharing your journey. It helps me see options. 

[chocolate-chip chooky]

One thing I realised I didn't mention in my first post - going to university here does not automatically mean leaving home. That would be a huge game-changer.