Did you guys know about the weird popularity of tungsten cubes?

[Terabith]

I will admit after reading this article that.....I kinda want one, even though it both seems like a poor use of money and also like it wouldn't pass the Swedish death test.  And yet, still strangely captivating. 

https://www.nbcnews.com/pop-culture/cryptocurrency-enthusiasts-are-obsessed-dense-tungsten-cubes-rcna4283

[Eos]

Monolith spawn??

[Moonhawk]

The problem with getting a tungsten cube is the care and upkeep of it. Yes it's pleasing because of its density, but what if one day you wake up and it feels a bit lighter than it should? On your morning hold, it doesn't seem to quite "fill" your muscles with its pressure like it used to? Then you realize that it's probably because it misses being with its own kind, and you're to blame. After all, how would you feel if you were shipped halfway around the world just to sit on a nightstand and only be touched once or twice a day? Even if you move it to your office desk and fiddle with it sometimes, or put it on top of your important papers, tungsten's purpose isn't to be used, like pencil lead or steel paperclips, it's to be there.

So then you need to buy another tungsten cube to keep it company, so they can take turns being the lighthearted ones and help each other share the heavy burden of being heavy, if you will. The next thing you know, you're watching the tracking details on 2 or 3 more packages. You're calling contractors to reinforce your foundation (responsible tungsten owners wait until they are out of apartments before making the tungsten commitment, obviously). You now have to invest in bubble wrap to make sure the edges aren't damaged by the other tungstens in the room. Shining away fingerprints becomes more than a hobby, and you start looking at the economics of having a kid to help, but realize you'd have to move all the tungstens into one room, the baby might drool on them. You realize there would be more room for tungsten if you moved your cot into the hallway (you sold the bed and frame a while ago because all that room not being used for tungsten seemed wasteful). Your friends say they're worried about you, but you can't let them into your house anymore because you'd need to count all the tungsten after they left to make sure they're all accounted for, and that would take hours, hours you can't afford to lose from holding and polishing the tungstens, because you are already behind schedule on the den collection and the dining room has always been a dustier room and you knew you shouldn't have started a group in there, but the kitchen was out of the question in case you ever cooked anything and the oil splatter on multiple sides of multiple tungstens was too terrible to think about, and the bathroom seems similarly dangerous with the steam and cleaning chemicals, though it would be closer to the polishing spray, that's true, and you do get anxious whenever you close the bathroom door and don't have any tungsten in your line of sight for those few torturous minutes, so maybe moving the dining room cubes to the bathroom would be okay so long as you put them inside a glass box, kind of like the shelving unit you bought for the office area, or what used to be your office area since you now do all of your work from your cot in the hallway, because you realized the light from the east-facing windows hits the tungsten in a warm and almost primordial way that makes the whole house hum with whatever is the opposite of lightness (your friends really don't like it when you mention this part, so you stop talking about that, which was a lot easier to do once you stopped returning their calls), and the contractor does seem a little concerned about the upstairs master bedroom floor but you know he's just trying to get more work inside the house so he can smell the tungsten in the morning, so you need to find a new contractor again, but whenever you look for one there isn't anyone who really respects the tungsten's space and some of them even step over the tungsten in the hallway that's on top of the cot, which is really rude since they are the newest in the house and should be shown that this is a safe environment for them, and the cot seemed the most inviting spot available, though the next batch arriving between 1 and 5 pm tomorrow via FedEx will probably have to -- temporarily -- be moved into the kitchen, but that's okay because you stopped cooking and eating weeks ago. 

Or maybe that's just me. 

[Farrar]

Why yes, I did. Thanks for asking! I also thought it was odd. But... hey.

[Dmmetler]

Maybe it's the new pet rock? 

[KungFuPanda]

4 hours ago, Moonhawk said:

The problem with getting a tungsten cube is the care and upkeep of it. Yes it's pleasing because of its density, but what if one day you wake up and it feels a bit lighter than it should? On your morning hold, it doesn't seem to quite "fill" your muscles with its pressure like it used to? Then you realize that it's probably because it misses being with its own kind, and you're to blame. After all, how would you feel if you were shipped halfway around the world just to sit on a nightstand and only be touched once or twice a day? Even if you move it to your office desk and fiddle with it sometimes, or put it on top of your important papers, tungsten's purpose isn't to be used, like pencil lead or steel paperclips, it's to be there.

So then you need to buy another tungsten cube to keep it company, so they can take turns being the lighthearted ones and help each other share the heavy burden of being heavy, if you will. The next thing you know, you're watching the tracking details on 2 or 3 more packages. You're calling contractors to reinforce your foundation (responsible tungsten owners wait until they are out of apartments before making the tungsten commitment, obviously). You now have to invest in bubble wrap to make sure the edges aren't damaged by the other tungstens in the room. Shining away fingerprints becomes more than a hobby, and you start looking at the economics of having a kid to help, but realize you'd have to move all the tungstens into one room, the baby might drool on them. You realize there would be more room for tungsten if you moved your cot into the hallway (you sold the bed and frame a while ago because all that room not being used for tungsten seemed wasteful). Your friends say they're worried about you, but you can't let them into your house anymore because you'd need to count all the tungsten after they left to make sure they're all accounted for, and that would take hours, hours you can't afford to lose from holding and polishing the tungstens, because you are already behind schedule on the den collection and the dining room has always been a dustier room and you knew you shouldn't have started a group in there, but the kitchen was out of the question in case you ever cooked anything and the oil splatter on multiple sides of multiple tungstens was too terrible to think about, and the bathroom seems similarly dangerous with the steam and cleaning chemicals, though it would be closer to the polishing spray, that's true, and you do get anxious whenever you close the bathroom door and don't have any tungsten in your line of sight for those few torturous minutes, so maybe moving the dining room cubes to the bathroom would be okay so long as you put them inside a glass box, kind of like the shelving unit you bought for the office area, or what used to be your office area since you now do all of your work from your cot in the hallway, because you realized the light from the east-facing windows hits the tungsten in a warm and almost primordial way that makes the whole house hum with whatever is the opposite of lightness (your friends really don't like it when you mention this part, so you stop talking about that, which was a lot easier to do once you stopped returning their calls), and the contractor does seem a little concerned about the upstairs master bedroom floor but you know he's just trying to get more work inside the house so he can smell the tungsten in the morning, so you need to find a new contractor again, but whenever you look for one there isn't anyone who really respects the tungsten's space and some of them even step over the tungsten in the hallway that's on top of the cot, which is really rude since they are the newest in the house and should be shown that this is a safe environment for them, and the cot seemed the most inviting spot available, though the next batch arriving between 1 and 5 pm tomorrow via FedEx will probably have to -- temporarily -- be moved into the kitchen, but that's okay because you stopped cooking and eating weeks ago. 

Or maybe that's just me. 

Go home! You’re drunk!

[Terabith]

I think @Moonhawk needs a prize.