Narcissism - check my thinking

[gardenmom5]

I oct - I told my brother to stop sending me links (to crazy sites. link only, zero commentary. Not even his name) - as that wasn't a relationship.  He had a tantrum, and stated he was done trying to be friends with me . . .  I went through wanting to defend myself, to reaching out - to thinking through why I held him at arms length to begin with.  Then, I just counted myself lucky I didn't have to deal with him anymore.

Two? Three?  weeks later, I started getting (crazy) stuff from him again.  My sister has blocked him, he's on this third divorce, his kids range from arm's length to no-contact. (re: no family left to have contact with him.)

I got a flashy Thanksgiving text.  . . I can ignore it right?  And not feel guilty?

Edited November 25, 2021 by gardenmom5

[saraha]

No idea, but (((gardenmom5)))

[Melissa Louise]

Yes, ignore and don't feel guilty. 

[Mona]

If you care about your brother, you should respond kindly. 

[Rosie_0801]

Ignoring is fine. He's talking crap.

"You too, Bro" and forgetting about him again is fine.

Whatever you feel like doing is fine.

[Faith-manor]

3 hours ago, Rosie_0801 said:

Ignoring is fine. He's talking crap.

"You too, Bro" and forgetting about him again is fine.

Whatever you feel like doing is fine.

Rosie nailed it! 

[Not_a_Number]

I'd probably block someone who did that. 

[Carol in Cal.]

You can ignore it or you can give a generic ‘Happy Thanksgiving’ answer.  You can’t control what he sends you but you can control your response to it.  Personally I’d ignore the crazy stuff and answer kindly but distantly to the noncrazy stuff.  I feel that that helps to encourage the good behavior while rising above the bad.

[gardenmom5]

5 hours ago, Mona said:

If you care about your brother, you should respond kindly. 

Are you familiar with narcissistic mind games?  Just asking.

2 hours ago, Faith-manor said:

Rosie nailed it! 

She does do that.

1 hour ago, Not_a_Number said:

I'd probably block someone who did that. 

I've started blocking his emails . . but now he's sending stuff to my phone.  Part of me is wondering if I need to have some way he can reach me . . .  but his kids can contact me.

59 minutes ago, Carol in Cal. said:

You can ignore it or you can give a generic ‘Happy Thanksgiving’ answer.  You can’t control what he sends you but you can control your response to it.  Personally I’d ignore the crazy stuff and answer kindly but distantly to the noncrazy stuff.  I feel that that helps to encourage the good behavior while rising above the bad.

I've been doing that for several years - he escalated.

[theelfqueen]

A non committal Thanksgiving .gif like a Macys balloon or something seems like a safe response. 

[GoodGrief3]

With a narcissist, I'd probably choose to ignore. Eventually the lack of feedback should cause them to lose interest (though I could see escalation occurring for a period of time, as they try harder to get a reaction.)

[gardenmom5]

2 hours ago, GoodGrief3 said:

With a narcissist, I'd probably choose to ignore. Eventually the lack of feedback should cause them to lose interest (though I could see escalation occurring for a period of time, as they try harder to get a reaction.)

I've decided that's what I'm going to do for now.   He's on his third divorce, and I feel bad for him, - but I have other responsibilities and I'm not willing to give him energy I need for those.