Do you feel like your kids take turns (needing attention)?

[bookbard]

As soon as one stress finishes for one kid, suddenly something comes up for the next kid. Anyone else find that?

[SKL]

Yes, I have noticed that.  I thought, well, I guess this is better than everything hitting at once with both kids.

I also wonder if kids sense that they need to be strong while we deal with something more urgent with their sibling.  And then when that's under control, they can relax and their stuff comes out.

[popmom]

Yes. I definitely experience this. I have 4. It’s always something. I don’t know…the past few years has been rough. But I do think that God has graciously spaced the most dire crises apart. I don’t know if that makes sense. 
 

ETA my kids are young adults. Youngest is 15. 

Edited November 15, 2021 by popmom

[Carrie12345]

I’ve actually felt more like several at a time are needy, and then I have a chunk where no one needs anything and I don’t know what to do with myself. Then, of course, once I adapt, everyone has a new crisis.

I can trace that back about 18 years, to when #3 had major colic/reflux and lots of tests to try to solve it,  #2 was starting to walk, and we were driving ~2 hours each way for weeks worth of autism evals for #1.

Same three are currently struggling with job and school situations, but that does finally require less involvement from me!
 

[Elizabeth86]

No, mine pretty much need me simultaneously. 🤣

[teachermom2834]

I have four and have found this to be largely true. Never a rest from one crises to the next, especially when I had three teens.

When that 24-48 hours or so happened in March 2020 when everything shut down I realized how stressful it was to have everything at once. One kid lost his senior college sports season/graduation/job offer in question. Next kid lost his job which he was hoping would go career track/full time. Third kid lost a bunch of leadership activities and summer programs he’d worked for since middle school. I was fielding these phone calls and reassuring people and I realized that usually everyone is not in crises at the same time.  All three of my oldest kids had things go very bad for them at the same time. That was exhausting and made me appreciate that life with a bunch of kids is hard- but usually their stuff is at least a little spread out.

[Katy]

That’s largely been my experience too. 

[HomeAgain]

No, but I found one can be patient and wait until a crisis has passed or it was something that could be juggled.

[SKL]

Now I am wondering if it's more that I as the mom mentally triage the kids' needs, without consciously realizing it ....

[J-rap]

Definitely, but that goes on our entire lives, right?

Probably my own parents would say the same thing about us (my siblings and I), even now.  

(I feel like moms have a subconscious list checker, which is constantly updating and concluding : This one is good for now, this one is good for now, this one is good for now, oops -- this one needs a little help/extra attention...)

 

[bookbard]

6 hours ago, SKL said:

Now I am wondering if it's more that I as the mom mentally triage the kids' needs, without consciously realizing it ....

Yes, I am thinking that could be it too.

[fairfarmhand]

Yup.

[Farrar]

Absolutely. I think it's a yin yang thing. Push pull. The other thing I have noticed is that when they were little it was minute to minute. Then day to day. Now it's like year to year. I assume they'll still be like this in their 20's.