Adoption process has started and now we need to pick a name!

[DawnM]

DON'T QUOTE THE NAME PART PLEASE

whoo hoo.....our adoption DSS worker has now started working with us and I have lots of paperwork to fill out today.

One thing we need to figure out is a middle name.   Right now, he goes by his middle name and his first name is his birth father's name.

We are going to take off his birth father's name, put his middle name as his first, and need a middle name.

So, don't quote this part, but he goes by Andrew.   So far, we have a couple of names.   Robert is the name of both DH's and my fathers.   It isn't my favorite name, but it is a family name.   We asked Andrew what he wants his middle name to be and he said Lincoln.   I actually like it, but just know that he picked it because he was watching the Loud House at the time and likes Lincoln Loud 😂.

Give me some middle names, don't quote the name part, I am only saying it so you can know what to pair the middle name with.

 

thanks,

 

Dawn

[Bambam]

I'd go with a traditional name for his middle in case he ever decides to go by that one. But I'm not fond of trendy names. 

David
Christopher
Jonathan
Matthew
Timothy

I'd check the initials to make sure that doesn't make anything I wouldn't want to live with. 
 

[kristin0713]

Is there a person that is special to him or particularly involved in his life? I think it is great to give him some say in this.  But kids' tastes do change. 

[cbollin]

seconding the check the monogram/initials.  and if humor is needed for that https://www.southernthing.com/what-if-bad-monograms-had-support-groups-2588414736.html

sorry, nothing productive to add with a good middle name, but thought the laugh could be fun.  I like the sound of his choice of middle name even if it came from a show he's watching.

[Katy]

Even if Lincoln is from a show, President Lincoln had very hard, humble beginnings and really accomplished much more than anyone might have predicted.  I think it fits on several levels.

[DawnM]

3 minutes ago, cbollin said:

seconding the check the monogram/initials.  and if humor is needed for that https://www.southernthing.com/what-if-bad-monograms-had-support-groups-2588414736.html

sorry, nothing productive to add with a good middle name, but thought the laugh could be fun.  I like the sound of his choice of middle name even if it came from a show he's watching.

His current initials spell DAM, sooooo, I think I can at least do better than that!

[Danae]

Lincoln sounds nice with his first name, it’s a classic name, and it’s his suggestion.  It’s perfect.

[Guest]

I agree with Danae. 
 

And I like the meaning associated with the past President as well. 

[TheReader]

Agreeing with Danae as well. 

My only "but...." thought would be if you've used family names for your other children, and he'll be the only one w/o one, then perhaps go with the family name you mentioned.  If that's not a pattern you've followed thus far, then it won't be a big deal to not do so this time. 

[HS Mom in NC]

16 minutes ago, TheReader said:

if you've used family names for your other children, and he'll be the only one w/o one, then perhaps go with the family name you mentioned.  If that's not a pattern you've followed thus far, then it won't be a big deal to not do so this time. 

Agreed. If there was any pattern to naming bio kids, make sure the adopted kid's name follows that pattern. 

 I took my maiden name as my middle then took my husband's last name.  My bio kids were named that way, so adopted was too.  Their first names are virtue names.  We also kept a name connection to her birth family (she was not removed due to neglect/abuse) by giving her her birthmother's family name out of respect.

Bio kids: virtue first name, mom's maiden last name, dad's last name
Adopted kid: virtue first name, bio mom's last name, adopted mom's maiden last name, adopted dad's last name

Fosteradoption is a different set of factors, so there might not be a reason to add a name link to any branch of bio family.

[elegantlion]

* Lincoln is also the actor who played Rick Grimes on the Walking Dead, just fyi. 

 

 

[DawnM]

Only one of my kids (first son) has any family name, so it isn't a pattern.   Adopted son kept his Chinese name as his middle name when we adopted him.   Otherwise, we just chose names that had meaning to us.

I like the association with Lincoln and his humble beginnings and greatness/leadership later in his life.   

[Scarlett]

I love Lincoln and it sounds nice with what will be his first name.  But I also love, love love traditional family names.  

How did you manage to not use your father's names with 3 other boys?  🙂

[DawnM]

6 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

I love Lincoln and it sounds nice with what will be his first name.  But I also love, love love traditional family names.  

How did you manage to not use your father's names with 3 other boys?  🙂

We just didn't.   First son has 2 family names, one from my father's side of the family, but not his name, and then my husband's name as his middle name.   Second son had a name we just liked and had special meaning to us, but not a family name.   Third son, we feel God gave us the name and then we wanted to keep his original first name in his name.....his middle name (original name) means "strength" and we liked that.

 

[freesia]

This is a hard one. We used grandfather’s middle names for our boys, so I really like that particularly as it marks him even more for the family.  However I love the Lincoln idea—for all the reasons given. Could you do both?  First name Robert Lincoln sounds nice to me. 

[Mrs Tiggywinkle]

(don’t quote) 

Both of my sons have Robert as a middle name as it’s a family name. Well, we gave it to the oldest and weren’t going to use it again, but oldest was almost 4 when youngest was born and adamant that he needed Robert in his name too.  Youngest has two middle names— first name Matthew Robert. 

I only use the double middle name when he’s in trouble. 

[DawnM]

10 minutes ago, freesia said:

This is a hard one. We used grandfather’s middle names for our boys, so I really like that particularly as it marks him even more for the family.  However I love the Lincoln idea—for all the reasons given. Could you do both?  First name Robert Lincoln sounds nice to me. 

it crossed my mind.   Maybe we will.

[DawnM]

@Mrs Tiggywinkle wanna hear something about his birth mom?   She has had many in and out abusive boyfriends.   One of them kept calling him Matthew.   She gets all wiggy when anyone has the name Matthew (even told me she knows since I have a Matthew friend in my FB that I am in on the conspiracy to kidnap him and rename him Matthew).   I briefly thought of giving him the middle name Matthew just to mess with her.....but that isn't nice, so I won't.

[SKL]

Congratulations on your adoption!

I just have a couple thoughts.

1) It might be sentimental to keep his birth name rather than erase his dad from it.  What about just switching the first and middle names?  (My kids' middle names are the first names given to them at birth.)

2) I've heard that a rule of thumb is to not have the same number of syllables for the first and second name.  Or if you do, it might be better if the stress were on different syllables (like Andrew Rene.)

[DawnM]

@SKL No, getting rid of his birth father's name is a must.   I can't go into it right now, but the history is such that we need that name gone ASAP.   As for the syllables, honestly, that doesn't bother me.   Our last name also has 2 syllables with the emphasis on the last syllable.   

[ScoutTN]

I like Lincoln. Not trendy, but not super common either.

[MooCow]

Is Andrew his birth father's name? 

What about Lincoln Robert newlastname? 

Edited November 11, 2021 by MooCow

[DawnM]

1 minute ago, MooCow said:

Is Andrew his birth father's name? 

What about Lincoln Robert newlastname? 

No, it is his middle name and the name he goes by.   we are keeping it.

[MooCow]

Then Andrew Lincoln your last name. 

[Catwoman]

So now Dawn is wishing she had never mentioned the Lincoln thing, because we are all fixated on it and aren't giving her many other ideas. 😉 

[Lawyer&Mom]

I associate Andrew with Andrew Johnson, who was Lincoln’s VP who became president when Lincoln was assassinated.  I’m probably the only one who would make the connection, but two different president names like that in the same name would bug me.  (I’m Autistic, so YMMV.) 

[MooCow]

I offer up my oldest's name....when I was a little girl I was reading one of my mom's romance novels, she didn't know, and I wrote down the name of the hero and put it in my music jewelry box. And when I got pregnant with my oldest with a boy I pulled that name out! However only the first name was agreed upon LOL 

Andrew Nicholas. He will be strong and victorious! 

 

[Night Elf]

We named our son using my DH's middle name that he doesn't use but loves and ds's middle name is my dad's name.

I work in a preschool and am surprised by some of the names. They're out there!

[Pamela H in Texas]

So when we adopted my middlest son, we kept the name he was called, added Jeremiah (my stepdad is Jerry).  We called him by his initials, AJ. Son was adamant about not keeping first name though.  He hated it, wouldn't tell people what AJ stood for, etc.  So we agreed, five years later, to change it.  He chose Andrew and all is well.  Anyway, so I'm partial to Jeremiah 🙂

I'm also a syllable person.  I'm not fond of two syllables for both first and middle names though it sometimes works for second names with the accent on the second syllable of the middle name.  Because of hubby's like of a certain child's birth name (which I would have changed, but...), we do have a child with 2 syllables for both names.  We also have the accent on the second syllable of middle nam,e though.

Anyway, nothing wrong with Robert or Lincoln though.  🙂

 

[bibiche]

I would use Lincoln, since he chose it, and add another name if you want to. There’s no rule that says you can’t have more than two names before your family name. Americans are parsimonious with the names compared to other countries.

[Tiberia]

I was going to use Silas if I'd had a boy. It was my grandfather's name. I think it sounds good with your chosen first name. It's slightly different, but not totally unusual.

But I am totally liking Lincoln.

Edited November 11, 2021 by Tiberia

[DawnM]

59 minutes ago, MooCow said:

I offer up my oldest's name....when I was a little girl I was reading one of my mom's romance novels, she didn't know, and I wrote down the name of the hero and put it in my music jewelry box. And when I got pregnant with my oldest with a boy I pulled that name out! However only the first name was agreed upon LOL 

Andrew Nicholas. He will be strong and victorious! 

 

Well, we already have a child with the middle name Nicholas.   We brought him home in a Christmas stocking from the hospital as he was born near Christmas time......so we thought it appropriate to name him Nicholas as his middle name.  And I love the story of the real St. Nicholas.

[katilac]

I love his choice. I might ask him one more time if there are any other names he wants to consider, at a time when he is not watching TV, lol. 

He can go by anything he wants to in the future, even if he doesn't formally change his name again. 

[Storygirl]

I think FIrstname Lincoln is very nice. When we renamed our children, we also kept one of their birth names as their middle name. DD16 actually doesn't like hers, and we would be fine with her deciding to change it one day. I wish now we had chosen her other name to keep, but at the time, we didn't think it sounded best with the first name we had chosen. All that to say that I would take his choice into consideration, since he is old enough to express an opinion (our kids were infants, so they didn't get to weigh in).

I think there is great value in him getting to choose a name for himself, since he has had so much disruption in his little life

Of course, if his name choice was not acceptable, I would veto it, as the parent. When we were adopting DS16, our oldest was three and insisted that we should name her new brother Chumbone. We did not go along with that LOL! But I think that Lincoln is lovely.

[Katy]

I think of the first name as a biblical one, not of the Presidents who have had it.  Please excuse the capitalization, autocorrect has now changed it twice and I give up.

Other options:

Aaron

Adam

Alexander

Charles

Emmet

Evan

Henry

James

Oliver

Paul

 

[JFSinIL]

Since removing the bio dad name...why not add his new dad's name?

 

[Lanny]

@DawnMCongratulations to your family!   The adoption process has begun. He's a lucky little boy. Godspeed!

[DawnM]

51 minutes ago, JFSinIL said:

Since removing the bio dad name...why not add his new dad's name?

 

Another child has it.

[iamonlyone]

I like Andrew Lincoln too. Another idea: If our third child had been a boy, we would have used Andrew Christian.

[mominco]

Congratulations Dawn!I know a very very nice person by the name of Andrew Martin so there is that! GL with your decision.

[73349]

I like Lincoln or James.

[Katy]

DH said he loves Lincoln but he also likes James so he could go by AJ when he’s older if he wants. 

I think his school had two star athletes named AJ. 

[Tap]

Do you have someone in your circle who you would like to pay homage to? It can be a friend or family member, a community person, a fictional person or even a location that is significant to you. Do you have a favorite movie or book character? When you think about names, think about the first name and last name. It is very, very common now to give someone a first name, that was once more common as a last name. 

DD14 has kept her bio-family name for legal use, but she goes by a different first name, which is one that we gave her. The name we call her, is the name of my grandmother's aunt, who raised my grandmother.  I am genetically dd's aunt, who is raising her. Giving dd this name, was a way to give honor to an unsung hero in our family. 

 

 

DD22 started going by her middle name in middle school. I told her that when she was 18, I would pay to legally change her name if she wanted. She chose to wait until she got married and changed it then. She moved her middle name to her first name, then chose a new middle name. It isn't a common name but is a common noun. It is would be like the name Violet, if you had never heard it for a name before.  It has strong significance to her. She is actually considering, going by this name in the future, when she changes jobs. 

I love the idea of someone choosing thier own name. I will give dd14 the same choice when she turns 18. Her bio parents still call her by her birth name (which is why I haven't changed her name legally) but when given the choice (doctors, school, ect) she asks to be called the name we gave her instead.  

 

[Harriet Vane]

Some names I really like:

 

Jesse--means "gift of hope"

Asher--also means "gift of hope"

Matthew--gift of God