30 Days of Gratitude Challenge - Day 7

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Good day! It's the beginning of a new week and I am ready to see where this week will take us.

Today we are showing gratitude for the people in our lives.  Those who walk with us always.

Think of your top supporters, your squad, your tribe. Write their names down for your gratitude jar or in your journal. Remain focused on the person and the quality of the relationship.  Do not focus on the number of names you write down; this isn't a reflection of your popularity or sociability. Focus on the quality of the relationship.

Write a note (handwritten is great), text, or email to one or two people on your list showing your gratitude for their love, support, and friendship.

[SKL]

Since there are no comments, I guess a lot of people are mainly doing this privately.

I have never had much of a tribe, but I have a small number of people who are in my corner no matter what.  We don't always agree, but will they be there in my time of need, yes, if they physically can.  A few close relatives and one or two friends.

Now that I think about it, am I that person for anyone?  100%?  Or does it depend on what they need from me?  I mean, obviously I'm 100% for my kids.  For certain others, I would do a lot, but I would not be the best person to do it all, you know?  Thankfully we have a big family and everyone has their things that they can give.

[mom31257]

I definitely have some people who are always with me and on my side. 

My husband, my 2 sisters, my dad, my best friend, and another very, very close friend. My mother and grandmother were two key people in this, but as I mentioned last week, they have already passed. 

I feel like my daughter is and my son will be as he matures. They really haven't had to do much in that kind of role yet, though. 

The Tackle thread participants are always supportive of each other. I know there are people I may never meet in real life who will pray for me and think of me. That is comforting! 

Edited November 7, 2021 by mom31257

[DreamerGirl]

I live thousands of miles away from family so I have worked hard to nurture the bonds by visiting and have them visit. it takes significant money and time commitment, but DH and I are very big on that. It has paid off as time and time again family has shown up for us often putting their lives on hold especially my parents and inlaws, my brother and BIL (DH's brother).

We have a group of 6 families we are friends with. But they are more the family we have here. We work hard to nurture these relationships too.

I had a very close relationship with both my paternal grandparents, we lived in the same house and very influential in my formative years. Both have since passed. They have been why I value grandparents so much.

A group of neighbors we are close with.

I have been blessed to find community with kind people of diverse nature be it religion, ethnicity, country who have took me in, nurtured me when I was a student and had nothing to give with no expectation whatsoever and who are still friends with me, well more friends of our family now. 

 I did not expect to find anything in common whatsoever when I joined here in panic to possibly HS during the pandemic. It has been a total surprise.

I am grateful to for people who share themselves with me and my family. 

[Melissa Louise]

I'm extremely grateful for a small circle of friends ATM. One in particular. 

I'm grateful to my fellow students, and to the chaplain at my place of work.

 

[Granny_Weatherwax]

@SKL - I hope others are following along and completing the challenge privately. I think this is a great exercise. Some prompts are more difficult than others but each is beneficial.


--
I didn't respond yesterday as I was up early and on the road to help my DS move to a new location and new job (possibly a new career). It was a long day.

 

I don't have a tribe. I have people who come into my life for a bit and then, for one reason or another, we part. As a result, this prompt was extremely difficult for me. I have the usual people to be grateful for  - DH, DD, DS, DGD1, DGD2, DSIL, mother, sister - but no steady person outside of family. I am especially grateful for my little family.

[mom31257]

58 minutes ago, Granny_Weatherwax said:

I don't have a tribe. I have people who come into my life for a bit and then, for one reason or another, we part. As a result, this prompt was extremely difficult for me. I have the usual people to be grateful for  - DH, DD, DS, DGD1, DGD2, DSIL, mother, sister - but no steady person outside of family. I am especially grateful for my little family.

I have had people come in and out of my life, too, but my family has always been there. Both my closest friends I listed are friends I just moved away from. We lived there for 17 years. I believe we will stay close, but I know it won't be the same as being there in person. 

[SKL]

Yeah, outside of family I have no close friends from before grad school.  I have some from grad school, including one who is very close.  Not sure whether that is typical or not.

I've made work friends, school friends, sport mom friends, etc., but once the common interests are no longer very relevant, they are not really in my life ... even though I may respect, like, and admire them very much.  I guess I'm just not able or willing to invest in the ongoing relationship, and they feel the same.  We're all so busy, trying to do it all for those who depend on us.

[ScoutTN]

My family, even my immediate family, are not my closest friends and supporters, sadly. Two people in my immediate family are the biggest stressors in my life (and they'd probably say the same about me). I love them, but the relationships are complex and difficult. 

I do have one very long time friend who lives elsewhere and several close friends here. 

Most of the time, I feel very alone. 
 

 

[Harriet Vane]

Without question it's my best friend and former youth pastor. She and her husband were simply the most wonderful youth program workers. When my life blew up, they were there for me in a way very few other people were. Continued to be there for me, always cheering me on and affirming me. One of my biggest regrets in life is that I did not ask them to walk me down the aisle at my wedding. As I grew up, it became more of a friendship of equals. At this point it's been almost 35 years of friendship, and there is no one I trust more. 

[Granny_Weatherwax]

5 hours ago, SKL said:

Yeah, outside of family I have no close friends from before grad school.  I have some from grad school, including one who is very close.  Not sure whether that is typical or not.

I've made work friends, school friends, sport mom friends, etc., but once the common interests are no longer very relevant, they are not really in my life ... even though I may respect, like, and admire them very much.  I guess I'm just not able or willing to invest in the ongoing relationship, and they feel the same.  We're all so busy, trying to do it all for those who depend on us.

I wish we lived near each other. We could be friends.

I, too, have had work friends, scouting friends, tennis friends, etc but, like you, nothing continues after the joint activity is over. I may be FB friends with them but liking a post every now and then is about the extent of the relationship. I would be willing to invest in the relationship but no one else seems to want to invest in me.

But, since this is a gratitude thread, I am working on investing in others in ways I can. Like donating blood. It has become a passion of mine and I encourage everyone (even in my limited circle) to donate blood. It's an easy way for me to help someone else without the stress of one-on-one interaction, IYKWIM. Volunteering to teach tennis lessons. I'm not making any money but I am getting out there and helping children have fun and learn a new sport, learn sportsmanship, etc. I am emulating Mr. Rogers. I wear my outerwear and make sure I change into my tennis shoes and athletic coat at the beginning of each night. I am always early and always prepared. The court is always set up with fun athletic things to do. I am making certain I am having fun and it's allowing the children to have fun. I am grateful I have this opportunity (something I have to remind myself every night when my knees ache).

[Granny_Weatherwax]

4 hours ago, ScoutTN said:

My family, even my immediate family, are not my closest friends and supporters, sadly. Two people in my immediate family are the biggest stressors in my life (and they'd probably say the same about me). I love them, but the relationships are complex and difficult. 

I do have one very long time friend who lives elsewhere and several close friends here. 

Most of the time, I feel very alone. 
 

 

I am so sorry and am sending you big bear hugs. I get it that family relationships are complex and difficult. I also have that sense of being alone. It's why, now at age 50, I have decided a tribe will not miraculously materialize and it's on me to make myself feel complete. It doesn't mean my heart doesn't ache when I come home and am alone or I see other women planning girl's nights. Something someone said in the thread about fitting in from a couple of weeks ago really resonated with me. It was something along the lines of "I don't have to fit in to be in the group."  That statement was an epiphany.

I wish we lived near each other. I think our interests are similar enough that we could be friends. If you ever want to be penpals, let me know. I would love to have a penpal.

[Melissa Louise]

4 hours ago, ScoutTN said:

My family, even my immediate family, are not my closest friends and supporters, sadly. Two people in my immediate family are the biggest stressors in my life (and they'd probably say the same about me). I love them, but the relationships are complex and difficult. 

I do have one very long time friend who lives elsewhere and several close friends here. 

Most of the time, I feel very alone. 
 

 

My family is the same. I'm sorry you are experiencing this stress - it's very hard. 

The aloneness is tough to handle at times. Hugs. 

[Hannah]

I'm late to post and write it down, but I was thinking about this yesterday. 

My siblings live on three different continents (used to be four) and my parents live about 1000miles from where we are. Covid has brought us together in a weekly Zoom meeting - its sometimes tedious, but we have kept it up this last year and a half for the sake of our parents.  With grown children in the mix, there are 9 parties that dial in and some of us do so while cooking or hiking or whatever we are doing in that 40 minutes.  We also have a family Whatsapp group where we keep up to date.  Although we don't see each other often, it is good to know that I am part of a family that is interested in our lives, celebrates the small successes and victories and sympathizes with setbacks, although often too far to provide practical help.  

We live in an industrial town and over the 25 years we've been here, many of our friends have come and gone, mostly to emigrate, so we have friends al over the world.  Our best friends left 10 years ago and we haven't really grown that close to anyone new.  I do speak to my friend every 6 weeks or so and then we have a marathon sessions, often up to 2 or 3 hours.   The conversation flows and I always feel uplifted and energized afterwards.

Locally I have one very good friend whom is actually moving to another province next week.  At least its in-country and I can plan to see her a few times per year!

I can't imagine how isolated we'd feel without modern technology - my grandparents immigrated in 1948.  A letter took more than a month to reach its destination overseas, and a phonecall was so expensive it was only to announce a birth or death in the family.  Now I can stand in a dressing room and ask my sister overseas what she thinks of my outfit!

 

[ScoutTN]

Yeah, I have never had a tribe. I tend to have a friend or two in this circle and in that one. I moved often earlier in my life and that kept me from having deeper roots in one community.
 

Interestingly, I was a letter-writer and kept up with several friends from high school and college until the internet happened. I don’t do FB, so no connection anymore.

My closest friends are from homeschooling and church and I think will stick as we get older. I have two out of town friends with whom I pick up where we left off very easily. One I talk to often, the other only occasionally, but they both have been through hard things and are real friends.

I do have community that will pray and help in crisis; saw that in 2015 when Dh had brain surgery. We had meals, childcare, housekeeping, pet care, yardwork, everything, all in a heartbeat when life imploded and I was watching Dh have a seizure in the neuro ICU. We were so well loved. Months later, when Dh was well into recovery, I could FEEL the day we were no longer at/near the top of our church prayer list. Very visceral.