UK/British/English Homeschooling experiences

[hi.im.em]

Hi Everyone, 

Prospective homeschooler here. I am interested in hearing experiences from and general feedback from homeschooling parents, as I may be way off with my expectations. 

The question of how to school my lovely 10 month old daughter is playing on my mind. I was very lucky and went to a great private school and boarding school, but that will most likely be unaffordable for us, and I'm not sure it's worth the money even if we could afford it (over £130,000 for year 4 to year 8 - that could buy her a house!). I also have quite strong ideas about education. a) I think much of what goes on in schools is pointless busywork b) students are encouraged to chase the grade in order to win approval from the teacher/parent, so education becomes a win/loose endeavour rather than a joy c) poor students have their self esteem eroded while good students become chronic overachievers who think that they must continue to perform in order to be loved. (Massive generalisation of course!)

I am currently (very loosely as its hard!) following the RIE method (Magda Gerber/Janet Landsbury/The Mellow Mama if you're interested) of raising my daughter and am a believer in non-violent communication. This means I try not to use reward and punishment to get the behaviour I want, but rather model good behaviour myself and hold boundaries I think are important. Meltdowns are met with 'I know you're angry/sad but I can't let you put that in your mouth, maybe chew on this instead'. I really don't want to use coercion in education if I can possibly avoid it, but unschooling wouldn't suit me at all as I believe it's my job as a parent to ensure that she has the skills to be able to pursue anything she chooses - so GCSEs & A levels are a must. 

This is what I'm picturing: dd and I get up, I read to her in bed from a choice of hiqh-quality books that are above her reading level. I'm thinking Black Ships before Troy, Anne of Green Gables, Oliver Twist etc and also interesting adult books like biographies or self help/life skills books like How to Win Friends and Influence People, Jordan Peterson's 12 Rules for Life. There would be a pile of books by my bed to choose from. Then we have breakfast. Then we sit down at the table and she has a choice of workbooks (I will cycle them so that the ones she worked on yesterday won't be available today). These will be heavy on drill work so that she can mostly get on with them independently, with me around to help. We will focus on phonics, spelling, penmanship, maths, and later grammar and logic. She works on the workbooks until she wants to stop, at which point we go out for a walk/outing/she plays outside/plays inside with lego. 

After lunch we read again, this time from The History of the World, or a book about science or art or music - dd might be playing while she listens. She would narrate orally and we chat about what she's learning but no writing. She might read to me from a reader when she's reading age, or we practice phonics. We might also watch documentaries and youtube videos if we want to learn more about a particular topic. 

I'm imagining we can follow the WTM curriculum but go completely at our own pace, so I don't force her to learn/do anything. If she was struggling with something and avoiding it I would go back to an easier stage or try a different workbook. 

I would probably supplement with some swimming, riding or dance lessons, ideally a team sport, an art class, Brownies, maybe something like a chess group if she's into that. There's not a massive amount of choice where I live. We might grow a veg patch together or keep a couple of chickens, spend time on the farm. I might get a nanny in the afternoons to ferry her around so that I can do some freelance work. I should also say that I'm hoping for a second child when she's 3 ish so I may have a 5yo and a 2yo.

Does my plan sound reasonable or are my expectations far too high? Very interested to hear if anyone has done anything similar, especially if you are UK based. Thanks in advance.

[Jean in Newcastle]

The schedule sounds lovely.  But you will need to choose reading material that is appropriate for her developmentally. . Even my highly gifted son wouldn't have understood some of the books you listed at preschool age.  We did read many of those books during elementary (what you would call primary school). 

As far as expectations?  It's very very easy to teach an imaginary child.  Your child's temperament, interests etc. will determine a lot of whether things are appropriate or not.  My own story is that my eldest was profoundly gifted but also autistic so that colored a lot of what we covered.  Then my second child was totally different than he was - and hated historical fiction so all the wonderful read-alouds I did with my oldest were barely tolerated by my second child!  So plan and dream but be prepared to have to tweak as you go along because we have to teach the children we have. 

[hi.im.em]

Haha thanks Jean I think I'm getting a bit overexcited about book choices - I'll have to wait till she's old enough for my faves. Also, reading it back, I think i may have to utilise audiobooks or I'll be getting a sore throat.

It's such a huge responsibility to take on, educating someone. I just want to make sure that I don't have a crazy romantic idea of how it will be. 

[fraidycat]

Hello and welcome!

Your plan sounds great as a starting point. You will, of course, have to tweak and modify as you go along and learn what works for you/her/your schedule/and life as you find some balance. But, it's always great to start with some sort of plan.

Lots of reading aloud sounds amazing, but be sure to choose age/development/personality appropriate books so that your daughter remains engaged and enjoys the reading time. There is a book called The Read Aloud Handbook that has some great lists to give you some ideas, and if I'm not mistaken it may start at birth/very young so you may want to grab that and have a look at it now.

[hi.im.em]

Thanks Fraidycat I'll definitely look into that book it sounds good.  

[Lori D.]

Welcome!

First: I'm not in the UK, but the first thing anyone wanting to homeschool needs to do is check what paperwork may be required (here in the U.S. that usually involves filing an "intent to homeschool" affidavit with the state school superintendent), and what, if any, regulations need to be met. (Again, in the U.S., that tends to be things like: teaching certain subjects (math, reading, writing, etc.), and sometimes tracking hours, or keeping a portfolio of material, etc.) Here is the webpage on homeschooling for the UK.

Second: you have a lot of lovely ideas, and yes, those can work. BUT... I would hold those plans very lightly, or write them in pencil, and be ready to be FLEXIBLE. Children grow to be their own individual selves, and as your child grows and develops, you'll find she may have special needs that may require adapting your plans and choices of materials. For example, heavy workbook drill is not a good fit for many children, or tends to be more 'busywork' rather than promoting actual learning. If wanting to foster deep thinking and analysis skills in a child, then reading broadly, fostering a variety of outings and experiences, and discussing everything (part of your plan) will work better than workbooks. If having the student work independently is the goal, that tends to happen at the individual developmental timetable for each unique child, but yes, there are some things you can do to help encourage and strengthen that ability -- but speeding up that process so that an early elementary student works solo is usually not possible, and is not usually the best way to educate a child and foster a love of learning.

Finally: this is a great time for you to be researching and self-educating yourself about educational philosophies, and the variety of ways of teaching/presenting topics in math or writing, etc.

And, you can be already reading wonderful picture books to you baby, and as she grows into toddlerhood and pre-school age, do all kinds of hands-on activities and experiences; devote a lot of time to imaginative play; and do tons of read-alouds. Be sure to enjoy all of the wonderful children's books out there. For example, in addition to wonderful picture books, when your child is a pre-schooler, you can do books that are designed as readers for grades 1-4 as read-alouds. 

May you have a wonderful journey of learning everyday with your little one, even before you start any formal schooling. Warmest regards, Lori D.

 

Edited November 2, 2021 by Lori D.

[Tanaqui]

Your daughter is ten months old. By the time she's old enough for formal schoolwork you probably will have radically changed all your ideas about teaching and curriculum! And of course, she's going to have her own ideas.

You are putting the cart well ahead of the horse. Instead of worrying about the right high quality books to read to her when she's bigger, you should spend some time looking into high quality books to read to her *now*. Instead of worrying about the right workbooks, spend more time cuddling her *now*.

(And on the subject of books - not to knock older books, but we're currently in a golden age of children's literature. If you want to raise a reader, you need to start reading currently published children's books instead of reaching to what your mother fondly remembered from her childhood.)

[Lori D.]

Two booklist ideas to get you started:

1000 Good Books (Christian group; largely secular books)
   primary level (gr. PreK-3)
   elementary level (gr. 4-6)
   junior level (gr. 7-9)
   senior level (gr. 10-12)

Mensa For Kids Reading lists (secular organization; largely secular books)
   gr. K-3
   gr. 4-6
   gr. 7-8
   gr. 9-12
   nonfiction (sections by grade range)

Edited November 3, 2021 by Lori D.

[Lori D.]

29 minutes ago, Tanaqui said:

... (And on the subject of books - not to knock older books, but we're currently in a golden age of children's literature. If you want to raise a reader, you need to start reading currently published children's books instead of reaching to what your mother fondly remembered from her childhood.)

Well, I would amend that to say ADD currently published GOOD children's books. I would NOT throw out those great previous books just because they are older. And if you have fond memories of books your mom read to you, chances are it was a GOOD book and it is worth sharing with your own children. So I say, reach for BOTH -- the fondly remembered older books AND contemporary books. There is NO need for it to have to be "either/or". 😉 

The latter half of the 1800s was a golden age of British children's literature -- the introduction of literature specifically for children, and it is some wonderfully written literature -- often with great humor, as with the E. Nesbit magic books.

The 1950s in the US was also a golden age of children's literature in the US for elementary ages. The language and quality of writing is absolutely wonderful in older books -- 2 examples: The Rescuers series by Marjorie Sharp, and the magic books by Edward Eager.

The 1960s-1970s was a golden age of upper elementary children's literature and the start of YA (Young Adult) fiction.

And the 1990s to early 2000s was a golden age for picture books. Stunning art, and charming stories. A lot of wonderful nonfiction, and diversity of cultures and characters.

And yes, absolutely, the past 15-20 years has been a golden age of children's books for diversity.

Edited November 2, 2021 by Lori D.

[HomeAgain]

Your plan sounds fine 🙂 but the most important thing I learned was to teach the child in front of me.  There is a lovely range of ages and stages to romp through, and no broad encompassing plan for all of them.

So, teach the child in front of you.  Enjoy *right now*.  Take the time to introduce word play/rhymes, time to be independent, time to be cuddled, time to explore new things, and time to do things together.  Patterns and habits develop over the years, and slowly morph from play, to play-based learning, to intentional learning, to short bursts of sit down work that stretch and shrink to match the needs of the subject.

I can say that at 10mo, my youngest's day looked a lot like simple play.  He had tactile rubber balls, stacking blocks, and some rolling toys.  I read 3 books to him over and over because he loved them: Mangia! Mangia!, Goodnight Moon, and Babies Everywhere.  I can probably still repeat them from memory 11 years later.  He mostly hung out on my back when we were out of the house.

By age 2, he developed a fascination with chess, stacking things, throwing balls, and added several other books to his collection.

By 4, we were intentionally focusing on motor skill play: lots of time at the park, playdough, large pieces of chalk, painting with water, a game with acorns to pick up with large tweezers, math blocks, legos...we also were intentional in introducing activities that had to be done in order, as well as visual/audio discrimination activities. Nursery rhymes and "Three-peat" stories were a big part of the year: things that had rhythm and/or an element that changed so he knew what to expect and could tell a story himself.  I took advantage of "unavoidable delay" to read longer books to him while he ate lunch. We had a routine of park, library, art museum, ballet and playgroup, so he developed an internal rhythm to his week.  He learned to read this year, completing a popular phonics book in about 3 months.

By 6 he was doing intentional play for school.  Lots of manipulatives, short attention expectations for difficult things, open ended learning he controlled by having cabinets for different types of work.  We did cultural units for history, focusing on a civilization or area for a few weeks before moving to the next.  He discovered a love of math, grammar, and violin, having dropped ballet.  Still did a lot hands on and organic-feeling, with an overall theme focus for the week.

We're up to age 11 now, and there has been so much growth and change in the past few years that our routines have shifted considerably.  Things have been added and dropped.  He's become more independent in something and less in others.  Some years he did longer work in some subjects but does shorter work for them now.

Take each day as it comes.  Be intentional, but flexible.  I spent a lot of time educating myself, reading and listening to different perspectives.  Some I agreed with, some I didn't, but they challenged me to look at our own approach with more scrutiny.

Edited November 2, 2021 by HomeAgain

[hi.im.em]

Wow thank you so much - a lot to mull on here and I love your recommendations and detailed experiences. So useful.

I have just this second read her 'goodnight moon'   @HomeAgain🙂 we read it every night before bed.

Sometimes when you think of 'homeschool' it sounds incredibly full-on. I'm an introvert and never saw myself as the teacher type (more the leave-me-alone-I'm-a-writer type) so I just wanted to do a sort of thought experiment to lay out how I see it might work for me with the amount of teaching I could cope with. I really hear you @Lori D. re workbooks not necessarily being best fit. The reason I like the workbook model in theory is that I like the idea of achieving mastery before moving on to the next stage (also I like the idea of being left alone 😉 ) , but if they aren't enjoyable to do then I agree it becomes busywork.  

@TanaquiI suppose the reason I'm putting the cart before the horse is that I'm trying to plan our lives. If we decide not to homeschool it may mean looking to move to an area with better state schools, starting a private school savings pot, planning to have fewer children etc. 

 

[hi.im.em]

Ok your comments have also made me realise that I'm trying to control the uncontrollable and I should really chill out and have a glass of wine (7.40 pm in the uk) 🙂

[Tanaqui]

1 hour ago, hi.im.em said:

@TanaquiI suppose the reason I'm putting the cart before the horse is that I'm trying to plan our lives. If we decide not to homeschool it may mean looking to move to an area with better state schools, starting a private school savings pot, planning to have fewer children etc. 

 

Oh, no, I certainly understand the impulse! I think we've all been there, haven't we? Especially when our first kids were teensy squishy babies 🙂

But there are things you can't plan for. You can decide to do a lot of research into homeschooling (in between loving your baby, which is the most important thing) but you cannot plan for how your kid will be at age 6 or how you'll feel then.

I mean, think about it this way. What if she had been born 5 years earlier and you had planned for her to start school in 2020? All your plans would've been totally b0rked by the pandemic, whether you decided on outschooling or homeschooling.

[Lori D.]

4 hours ago, hi.im.em said:

...I'm an introvert and never saw myself as the teacher type (more the leave-me-alone-I'm-a-writer type) so I just wanted to do a sort of thought experiment to lay out how I see it might work for me with the amount of teaching I could cope with. I really hear you @Lori D. re workbooks not necessarily being best fit. The reason I like the workbook model in theory is that I like the idea of achieving mastery before moving on to the next stage (also I like the idea of being left alone 😉

Just our experience: mastery was not achieved by "drill and kill" for our 2 DSs (homeschooled from grades 1 & 2 all the way through high school graduation), and workbooks only were of limited help with some practice. Mastery was better achieved here by exposure through a variety of resources and activities, coming from a variety of perspectives.

Solo work does not have to be workbooks. That could be educational supplements that work as reinforcement to the work you do together with your child -- things like an educational video or computer game, listening to an audiobook, educational solo activities (stickers, arts & crafts, building a project, science kit, etc. etc). As the child gets older, that can also include solo handiwork -- sewing, crotchet/knit, woodworking, soap carving, loom weaving, knot-tying, etc. etc.

I am an extreme introvert, too. I had one DS with learning issues, so I had to be right there all the time to put in the extra work and help to tutor him through the academics. I built in my needed "introvert time" by scheduling daily time for me to "recover". My husband had a rotating 24-hour work shift, so 2-3 days per month (almost 1x/week), he would oversee the homeschooling while I had time to myself.

Some people do a mandatory "quiet time" for the hour after lunch, where everyone is in their room or bed and doing quiet things (like reading or audio books or quiet play items), so that mom gets her required recovery hour. 😉 

You can also schedule so that a spouse/partner or relative works with your children one morning or afternoon a week - even possibly drop-off for a morning with grandma and grandma schooling. 😄 Or hire a "mother's helper" teen to come in for a few hours once a week to sort of babysit and play games do activities with your children while you have solo time in your room. Or participate in a homeschool co-op -- our co-op requires parents to stay on campus, but parents can sit in a car or by themselves on the campus while their children take enrichment classes, so parents get some solo time that way. 

You will become very flexible and very creative in meeting everyone's needs if you homeschool. 😉 

Edited November 3, 2021 by Lori D.

[Lilaclady]

You have gotten loads of wonderful advise but one thing I will add is to make room now to explore your environment. Homeschooling is not just about the books. It is also the countless fieldtrips that you can take advantage of. You live in a great place with lots of free museums, theater programs etc that you can start taking her to now. 

[bookbard]

If you want to look at a different philosophy of homeschooling, check out Lori Pickert's 'Project Based Homeschooling' (which is not really about projects or necessarily homeschooling). It's about creating an environment where the children take responsibility for their learning. I started using ideas from this book from about age 2, and it's relevant right through the years. It's a slim, easy read book, too. 

[saw]

You're a long way from GCSEs/A-levels, which are likely to change significantly before your DC gets to that stage, but I find that these make homeschooling in the UK both simpler and more difficult. Simpler in the sense that it's quite easy to take a GCSE as an independent candidate (harder for drama and similar though). That's an independent qualification that makes it easy to show to the world what you've done. I don't bother with marking work or anything as DS will have to do exams at the end of the year in any event. You're also not obliged to take the GCSEs in GCSE year but can split them up. Much less pressure than doing 12 GCSEs at once!

At the moment there are no regulations re homeschooling but that looks likely to change. Sometimes the Local Authorities will ask for meetings and to see evidence of work and so on, but they are limited in what they may legally require. Our LA is pretty rubbish in any event and doesn't seem to care. We got reported to them once because I was asked at A&E (eye infection) about school, and then the doctor made a big fuss about how she was going to tell the council about us and how we should be registered and all sorts of nonsense. I've heard of that happening to others as well, so now we don't mention it.

There's quite a few homeschooling groups but it's a question of finding one that fits your approach. We've never been able to find a group that believes in taking exams or that school is an option. DS does afterschool activities with schooled kids and attends a Saturday music school. I'd like him to board for sixth form but we'll see how it goes. Depending on where you are, you could ofc try for a good grammar school or a scholarship. There's also more and more online alternatives. We tried MOS and Int&&&High but thought they were substandard. Having said that, there's a few more now that look like they might be okay.

DS did three GCSEs last year and will do more plus work toward a couple of A-levels this year, and I think the pressure on him is much less than on some of his friends who are struggling to prepare for their GCSEs. The kids end up being tutored endlessly and not being able to attend fun activities because they have to do work. I feel quite bad for some of them. 

Sorry to ramble, and I appreciate that much of this will change over the next few years. 

[hi.im.em]

6 hours ago, saw said:

You're a long way from GCSEs/A-levels, which are likely to change significantly before your DC gets to that stage, but I find that these make homeschooling in the UK both simpler and more difficult. Simpler in the sense that it's quite easy to take a GCSE as an independent candidate (harder for drama and similar though). That's an independent qualification that makes it easy to show to the world what you've done. I don't bother with marking work or anything as DS will have to do exams at the end of the year in any event. You're also not obliged to take the GCSEs in GCSE year but can split them up. Much less pressure than doing 12 GCSEs at once!

At the moment there are no regulations re homeschooling but that looks likely to change. Sometimes the Local Authorities will ask for meetings and to see evidence of work and so on, but they are limited in what they may legally require. Our LA is pretty rubbish in any event and doesn't seem to care. We got reported to them once because I was asked at A&E (eye infection) about school, and then the doctor made a big fuss about how she was going to tell the council about us and how we should be registered and all sorts of nonsense. I've heard of that happening to others as well, so now we don't mention it.

There's quite a few homeschooling groups but it's a question of finding one that fits your approach. We've never been able to find a group that believes in taking exams or that school is an option. DS does afterschool activities with schooled kids and attends a Saturday music school. I'd like him to board for sixth form but we'll see how it goes. Depending on where you are, you could ofc try for a good grammar school or a scholarship. There's also more and more online alternatives. We tried MOS and Int&&&High but thought they were substandard. Having said that, there's a few more now that look like they might be okay.

DS did three GCSEs last year and will do more plus work toward a couple of A-levels this year, and I think the pressure on him is much less than on some of his friends who are struggling to prepare for their GCSEs. The kids end up being tutored endlessly and not being able to attend fun activities because they have to do work. I feel quite bad for some of them. 

Sorry to ramble, and I appreciate that much of this will change over the next few years. 

This is very useful @saw thank you so much. I rather suspected that in the UK homeschoolers are more likely to be taking an unschooling approach, and that it would be difficult (impossible) to find a group. I also think that maybe homeschooling considered more fringe and radical in the uk than it is in the US. The idea of homeschooling as an alternative to private schooling just does not occur to most people. I can see your DC might have more in common with the schooled children than the unschooling ones. How did you deal with the friendship side of things? I imagine that as he grew up, he just had to be quite confident about making friends at after school club and then following up with play dates. I worry that there’s not enough unstructured play time in after school clubs to make good friendships - but maybe I’m wrong?

It makes so much more sense to stagger GCSEs, I bet it majorly takes the pressure off. I was an anxious wreck from ages 16-18 it makes me tense just thinking about it 😬