s/o Were you taught about basic grooming/taking care of your physical body/ physical self care?

[Tree Frog]

19 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

Nail trimming (especially toe nails) becomes more important and more problematic as you age.  (I'm talking actual elderly). 

Truth here. I'm not elderly yet, but have enough weight on my middle it's a little tricky to trim my toenails effectively. I had a pedi last summer that's continuing to cause me problems. He trimmed the toenails to make them rounded and now I'm having an issue with ingrown toenails that I've never had before. The elderly woman across from me was with her daughter and granddaughter and kept saying she needed her nails trimmed straight across to avoid ingrown toenails. The pedicurist told her it wouldn't be a problem, but then trimmed her toenails the same way mine were trimmed. 

[Faith-manor]

As for other kids of self-care like boundaries, alone time, nature, etc. there was absolutely nothing said. But before my parents became fundamentalists and lived a fairly secular life (ages 0-11 for me), they each had hobby pursuits, time spent away from the family, strict boundaries with toxic family members, good times with friends, family vacations as well as individual vacations. They were really fairly relaxed, happy go lucky people. Then they got fundie religion, and all that went away. Can't have hobbies, got to give all the extra dimes to church. Can't play cards with friends, it is of the devil. Can't have a wife who paints or goes antiquing because she has to slave away at home, and be at the church 24/7, and yada yada. Never had another family vacation, and forgive and forget was the motto so no matter what heinous thing someone in the extended family did, we all had to pretend it was wonderful and be up in each other's business all the time. Life was profoundly stressful, parents became depressed but didn't recognize it, and our lives train wrecked. My mom had an oops surprise pregnancy, and my sister entered our lives to two very depressed and mostly angry parents. Her childhood sucked to high heaven. After the almost but not quite a year of very abusive, fundie school, and the fall out of that, I put my nose to the grind stone, tested out of a ton of high school coursework, and moved in with my dear aunt and uncle to attend a very robust community college near them. I graduated high school and community college at 16.5, toured with a music group for the summer, and left for university/LAC in the fall before I was even 17.

I learned self care in this regard simply from my memories of a time of a much more relaxed and happy mother, and because my mother in law, a career woman, was an avid hiker, camper, seamstress, crafter, etc. and not only took annual vacations with father in law and kids, but also took an annual camping/hiking/fishing/arts festival vacation with her sister each summer between college semesters (she was a professor of nursing). I took cues. And of course I have always had my music, and could easily lose myself in hours at the piano. 

[SKL]

On 10/26/2021 at 10:43 AM, Granny_Weatherwax said:

What is an extraction? I have never had a full spa day and am truly curious.

Not sure I got the term right, but it's acne removal or whatever you want to call it.  Not enjoyable.  I have never had a "teen facial" so I didn't know to warn them.

[SKL]

Regarding mental/emotional self-care, my mom would not have been the best teacher when I was a kid, really.  There was nothing wrong with her, she was just a young mom with 6 kids, a job, financial struggles, multiple painful health problems, baggage from childhood abuse [of which the emotional abuse part continued well into adulthood], sometimes PPD, and sometimes a college class load.  All things considered, she held up well, but really didn't have a lot of time to plan out the teaching of self-care.

Actually, come to think of it, I should really study how she kept her sanity through all that.  It definitely wasn't meds or counseling - no money for that.  Nor family help - that was non-existent.  No internet support groups either.  If it weren't for Covid, I'd go over there and chat her up for some insights.