Where do I go for this help? (tutoring for comp)

[Storygirl]

I've been preoccupied with real life over the past couple of days, and I missed that kbutton tagged me. Sorry! I assume that she sent you the name of the SLP.

I am certain there will be private parent advocates in your area, but I know it can be hard to find one. My parent advocate is in a different part of the state, but I'm guessing she would know some people to refer you to. I can PM you her name and contact info, if you are interested.

I think that people who deal with IEPs all of the times should be able to look at those test scores and see the disability reflected in the discrepancies, but it is true that some schools seem to like to throw up barriers, instead of being in the business of helping kids get the help they need. It's scary to think about diving in to unclear waters. That's where an advocate can be a real help. I didn't think I needed one and did without for years, and, if I could go back and give myself some advice, I would say, "Self, hire an advocate right away."

I think a private advocate could really help you.

[cintinative]

6 minutes ago, Storygirl said:

 

I think a private advocate could really help you.

Thank you! I have found one locally with experience in my district (yay!). I am going to circle back with her once we get our testing done with the SLP.

Unfortunately a friend of mine recently had a very bad experience with her district in an IEP meeting, and I just want to be prepared if it goes south.

[PeterPan]

2 hours ago, cintinative said:

Thank you! I have found one locally with experience in my district (yay!). I am going to circle back with her once we get our testing done with the SLP.

Unfortunately a friend of mine recently had a very bad experience with her district in an IEP meeting, and I just want to be prepared if it goes south.

When I was early in this, I tried using a free advocate provided by some kind of state funding to the districts. It was supposed to be a parent mentor, but it seemed like the person offered zero insight and just explained how the school was right, school was right, repeat school was right (ie. I should shut up). A *paid* advocate is a different thing, so hopefully that's what you've found. I love this suggestion from @Storygirl. 

And yes, that's what the lawyer did for us, a file review that helped us realize what we were missing so we could be successful. You're spot on in how you're approaching this. The school district will *not* tell you ahead of time what they're looking for, so if you're lucky the advocate knows. 

Edited October 27, 2021 by PeterPan

[cintinative]

9 hours ago, PeterPan said:

When I was early in this, I tried using a free advocate provided by some kind of state funding to the districts. It was supposed to be a parent mentor, but it seemed like the person offered zero insight and just explained how the school was right, school was right, repeat school was right (ie. I should shut up). A *paid* advocate is a different thing, so hopefully that's what you've found. I love this suggestion from @Storygirl. 

 

Wow, that's awful.

Yes, this person is a paid advocate who has a business. 

[PeterPan]

3 hours ago, cintinative said:

Wow, that's awful.

Yes, this person is a paid advocate who has a business. 

My goal in life seems to be to make every mistake. 😄

[cintinative]

18 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

My goal in life seems to be to make every mistake. 😄

I am kind of shocked at how tough it can be to get help. I have a friend who was told that her daughter is low IQ and they (her district) can't help her.  For real. And it turns out she has two language disorders and dyslexia and so now mom is having to fight the school system.  

I mean, we did have a bad experience with the school system which is why we pulled out so many years ago, but it is still shocking when I hear these stories of people saying they will help, but not helping, etc.  I want to believe the best of people but I have heard so many bad stories at this point.  I didn't even know there was such a thing as an advocate until a few months ago.   I feel so bad for the parents who don't know about this, and especially for the kids who are in the system (foster, etc.) who don't have real advocates in the system for them.  

It's just so very broken. 

[PeterPan]

5 hours ago, cintinative said:

fight the school system.  

So not worth it. Banging head on wall when it's better to take the scholarship and RUN. Now getting the scholarship tier and getting the disabling condition in the IEP to get the best tier, that's a challenge. But these school systems are NOT doing what we might, in our outside research, think is ideal. People do get left behind, sigh. 

5 hours ago, cintinative said:

It's just so very broken. 

Well we live in an amazing country where we have legal protections that are the envy of the world. For as hard as it is, and for the failures that do happen, I take great comfort that EVERY STUDENT had the federal legal right to evals. We can't make it perfect for all people or ideal for all, but that's because life is hard. Some situations just suck and are hard. If my ds had been in school (moderate/severe apraxia, SLDs, etc.) what would have been the outcome?? He wouldn't even have been able to talk. I meet people with apraxic kids ALL THE TIME and it stinks stinks stinks. But it doesn't stink because the ps was bad or the people unethical. Just some situations are really hard. The parents or guardians are left doing the best they can to advocate. 

But I'm with you hard stories are out there. When I was early down this road, someone told me that she no longer hangs with newbies to disabilities. I was like WHY?? And she's like, they're so TIRING. They have so much to learn and it's a long haul and it's ugly. And no one can walk the road for you. 

So give yourself permission to distance from other people's problems a bit, think just about your own. You may need to do that.

[Storygirl]

I think that it's good to go into IEP evaluations hoping that the school team will work well with you to figure out what is needed to help the child.

But I've been unexpectedly sideswiped too many times now, and so I try to suggest to newbies that they not expect everything to go smoothly. Then, if it goes well, it's a nice surprise!!

But also not to expect it to go badly. Because you don't want to start things off with an adversarial relationship with the school.

It can be really tricky. Hopefully your advocate will have great advice for you.

[kbutton]

The company PeterPan referred to (Mindwings) will also talk to you on the phone about where you should start and which products might be useful, especially after you have the SLP testing in hand. They are really nice. If you follow them on FB, you'll see their sales advertised as well.