Disturbing realization

[Terabith]

A spate of friends posting about anniversaries on Facebook has made me realize that my dh and I have been married longer than most of our friends, even friends who are a number of years older than we are.  But now I just realized that we were like four years and a couple months older than my oldest is right now when we got married.  

Holy cow.  

[Kassia]

My kids are all older now than I was when I got married (I was 19)!  It is very weird.  My kids are 19-30 and none of them are married or have kids.  Three are in relationships - two long-term.  

ETA - and we have been married longer than most of my friends - even my friends who are older than I am.  We've been married 34 years.  

Edited October 11, 2021 by Kassia

[alisoncooks]

Haha. Same here. I’m another young marry-er (19), and looking at my 15 year old…eek! I cannot imagine her getting married in 4 years. Insane. 

[teachermom2834]

My oldest boys are 21 and 23. Those are ages I got married and the age I had my first child. They find that so strange. They seem surprised they survived and are quite certain they could not handle marriage or children at this point. 
 

But really they are so much more mature and on their way professionally than I was at that age. The mere fact that they know they aren’t ready makes them more mature than I was. Lol. 
 

It is a strange feeling. We got married on my parents’ 25th wedding anniversary. Dh and I had our 25th this past summer and I don’t think we have any weddings coming up soon. You never know…but it would be a surprise if we did. 

[Ausmumof3]

Yep. DH was five years older than DS when we married and I was three years older.  

[Terabith]

Disturbing realization #2 of the evening:  I just folded one of two loads of laundry for the week, and the only underwear I have found is mine and one pair of my husband's.  I'm hoping the next load is all undies, but I am not expecting it to be. 

[Dmmetler]

DH and I met when I was younger than L is now. We married right after I finished my Bachelor’s. 

[theelfqueen]

My Oldest is older now than I was when I was married, divorced and had two kids. 

He is married. He does not have kids.

[Melissa in Australia]

My youngest birth child is the same age as I was when I got married, 18

[Resilient]

Sort of how I realized that so many of the friends I treasure are young enough to be my daughters.  

[SounderChick]

I think about this a lot I met DH at 19.  My Brother, met his spouse in middle school.  Both my  best friends met their spouses in high school.  So weird to think my Oldest could already know her future spouse.  

[J-rap]

Times do change....  Our four oldest children are older than I was when I had my first baby!   No grandchildren here yet.

[Garga]

I married at 19. My oldest is 19. It’s weird. I do my best to treat him like an adult, but it’s hard. 🙂 He seems so young. But there I was, at the same age, married and in an apartment and working full time and paying bills. I owned a house by the time I was 22. So, I do my best to treat him like an adult, but at the same time he’s still my little baby, you know? 

I used to tell people, “Well, I married young, but I married an older man and he was more mature, so it’s not like we were both super young or something...”

Snort. My “older man” was 24. At the time, he seemed downright ancient, but now I know that 24 is still very young and hardly an “older, more mature” man. 

Edited October 11, 2021 by Garga

[Sneezyone]

Yep. DH and I met when we were 16 and 20. We’ve been married for 23 years and are 41 and 45. DD mentioned today that she might like to elope and not have a wedding. What could I say? We did that too!! I only have one college friend with a marriage as long as mine and kids as old as mine.

Edited October 11, 2021 by Sneezyone

[Laura Corin]

My eldest is about to turn 25 and was shocked to be reminded that  I was 25 when I met her father.... we are now 58 and 65.

We are not the longest relationship of our generation that we know - that belongs to our friends whose civil partnership we attended before same-sex marriage was made legal. They got together when we were all  around 21.

Edited October 11, 2021 by Laura Corin

[Carrie12345]

Ds is the age I was when I got married. We passed the age I was when he was born two years ago.

We have been married longer than most of my friends, but what really gutted me was realizing how old (young) they were when Nirvana came out. It’s a silly little thing, but it represents such a pivotal time in my life, and one friend was only a toddler at the time!

It’s very strange having friends who were born right in between me and my daughters, but it makes some sense, given their kids are around my youngest’s age.  I do often stop myself when telling stories to ask if they have any idea what I’m talking about!

[TexasProud]

Yeah, our boys are 26 and 24. We got married when dh was 25. But we didn't have kids until he was 30. But yeah, they aren't even dating so who knows when they will get married, if ever.

As far as being married, well most of them have been married longer than we have. Most people in this community seem to have gotten married 20ish and then pretty much immediately had kids. So yeah, their kids are in their 30's, married with grandchildren. I get a little tired of the grandchildren talk. 

[ktgrok]

On 10/10/2021 at 9:00 PM, Terabith said:

Disturbing realization #2 of the evening:  I just folded one of two loads of laundry for the week, and the only underwear I have found is mine and one pair of my husband's.  I'm hoping the next load is all undies, but I am not expecting it to be. 

Ugh, I have also had that realization, but just about one particular child in my house. Every now and then I realize I've done a week of his laundry and one pair of underwear...

[Pam in CT]

I feel like an outlier on this thread.  We just had our 30th anniversary, and we knew each other (with fits & starts in the relationship, LOL) for 10 years before we got married. 

We were late 20s by the time we did get married, which was right in the mix of when our same-age friends from college / grad school (me) / law school (him) got married.  And of that clump, virtually ALL of those marriages have also sustained for the same ~30 years.  So we know a LOT of folks married just about the same length of time as we have been.  Of our college/grad & law school friends, there have been a total of 2 divorces, which is beating the national odds.

Of our friends in town and from other walks of life, there are more who are divorced /single or on second marriages; and also who married earlier than we did.

Our eldest is 26 and in a relationship looks purposefully headed toward closing the matrimonial deal in the same general late 20s timeframe (and his parents) did.  I can't really see the younger ones pairing off much before that either, though who knows.

(I've advised them all to defer having children until after they've finished whatever education they want to pursue, but -- shocker -- they do not always heed all of my advice!)