I'm not sure I'm going to survive...

[mlktwins]

...being the mom of a moody 16 year old boy who, all of a sudden, thinks he is a grown-up and knows everything.  I just don't know...

That is all 😔!!!

Edited October 8, 2021 by mlktwins
Poor grammar 😆

[Guest]

Twinsies! I have one, too! 
 

Mine turns 17 soon; maybe it will stop.

[freesia]

1 minute ago, mlktwins said:

...being the mom of a moody 16 year old boy who all, of a sudden, thinks he is a grown-up and knows everything.  I just don't know...

That is all 😔!!!

It’s a thing.  😂 

I am pretty sure we will survive. I’ve survived 2 ( one a girl) so far.   I gotta say, it’s one reason I send them away to college. 

Anyway, I’m mostly posting in solidarity. 

[freesia]

1 minute ago, Quill said:

Twinsies! I have one, too! 
 

Mine turns 17 soon; maybe it will stop.

In my house it doesn’t go away, but they get better at holding their tongue. 

[Loowit]

My youngest just turned 16 last week.  He has always been challenging, but lately even more so.  Seeing my older two have turned out okay gives me a glimmer of hope.

[YaelAldrich]

4 minutes ago, freesia said:

In my house it doesn’t go away, but they get better at holding their tongue. 

Yes. This.

My now 17yo was really mouthy to me for a while. I came to him privately and said he really was hurting my feelings and that I wouldn't stand for his behavior towards me. I almost fell out when the next morning I got a note admitting he was being a butt, an apology for his behavior, and a promise that was kept about changing his ways. 

Still waiting on the 20 yo DS 🙄 and the 15yo DD 🙃

[mlktwins]

This one used to be the easy one and his twin was the challenging one for years.  They have switched 🤪.  Lots of eye rolling, sighing, and tone when speaking to me - as apparently I no longer know anything about anything.  No more hugs for mom either 😔.  He cannot wait to go to college and live on his own.  At the moment, that isn’t sounding too bad 🤔!

[ScoutTN]

Mine is only 14 and he’s this way. I thought he’d be pulling out of it in a couple years. Now I know I’m doomed to a longer road. Ugh! 😱🙄😬

Edited October 8, 2021 by ScoutTN

[freesia]

With my first I used to complain to dh that I have all this wisdom in my head and NOONE cares!

I have been known to say, “You know, I know things!”

[Melissa Louise]

Ha, it nearly killed me. 

It got better. Eventually 🤣

[fairfarmhand]

Isn’t it Amazing that I can be a functioning adult who works and pays bills and raises human beings and be terribly idiotic?

[freesia]

2 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

Isn’t it Amazing that I can be a functioning adult who works and pays bills and raises human beings and be terribly idiotic?

I’m not sure how you do it!

[saraha]

Oh my goodness, so feeling you right now! It’s awful isn’t it? How did I get here if I am an idiot who could not possibly understand…

[Arcadia]

1 hour ago, Quill said:

Twinsies! I have one, too! 
 

Mine turns 17 soon; maybe it will stop.

When DS16 turns 17 in December, DS15 will turn 16 a few days after 🤦‍♀️

1 hour ago, mlktwins said:

...being the mom of a moody 16 year old boy who, all of a sudden, thinks he is a grown-up and knows everything.  I just don't know...

That is all 😔!!!

On the bright side, at least both are taking turns and not being moody simultaneously. I have had days when DS15 and DS16 are both moody.

[mommyoffive]

We have been in the teen years for 2 ish years now.  Only 14 more to go.   I don't know how parents of big families deal with the teen and tween ages for so long.  I was hoping there was some sort of magic pill that would come out before I got there.   Currently it is my tweens who are driving me more nuts than my teens.

[Tanaqui]

Quote

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

 

~ Mark Twain

 

[busymama7]

43 minutes ago, mommyoffive said:

We have been in the teen years for 2 ish years now.  Only 14 more to go.   I don't know how parents of big families deal with the teen and tween ages for so long.  I was hoping there was some sort of magic pill that would come out before I got there.   Currently it is my tweens who are driving me more nuts than my teens.

In our case, difficult and easy kids have kinda alternated.   Our first two were super hard but the next two I think watched them and decided they wanted more fun/less stress in the teen years and they were a piece of cake compared.   All 4 were born in 5 years and now we are on our next set. But those 4 are adults and lovely to be around so there is hope 😉

[Selkie]

1 hour ago, mlktwins said:

This one used to be the easy one and his twin was the challenging one for years.  They have switched 🤪.  Lots of eye rolling, sighing, and tone when speaking to me - as apparently I no longer know anything about anything.  No more hugs for mom either 😔.  He cannot wait to go to college and live on his own.  At the moment, that isn’t sounding too bad 🤔!

Yep, this is a big reason why dh and I are enjoying our newly-empty nest SO much!🙂

[kbutton]

My 13.5 year old got super critical about everything, but he has a tutor that has helped him take the edge off of this and gain some perspective. It wasn't looking pretty for a while. I hope it doesn't come back. 

[Tanaqui]

My apologies, I got called away between double-checking the quote and editing to say that, apparently, it is almost certainly *not* a Twain quote at all.

https://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/10/10/twain-father/

[Momto6inIN]

9 hours ago, Tanaqui said:

 

 

8 hours ago, Tanaqui said:

 

Whether it was said by Mark Twain or not, it's still true! I remember commenting that it was amazing how much smarter my parents became when I went to college 😉

(sorry about the weird quote boxes, I'm not sure what's up with that)

[mlktwins]

9 hours ago, kbutton said:

My 13.5 year old got super critical about everything, but he has a tutor that has helped him take the edge off of this and gain some perspective. It wasn't looking pretty for a while. I hope it doesn't come back. 

I'm glad yours has improved 😁!  I sure hope it lasts!!!

[mlktwins]

11 hours ago, YaelAldrich said:

Yes. This.

My now 17yo was really mouthy to me for a while. I came to him privately and said he really was hurting my feelings and that I wouldn't stand for his behavior towards me. I almost fell out when the next morning I got a note admitting he was being a butt, an apology for his behavior, and a promise that was kept about changing his ways. 

Still waiting on the 20 yo DS 🙄 and the 15yo DD 🙃

This is awesome to hear!!!  So glad it turned out for you with that one!!!

[mlktwins]

11 hours ago, freesia said:

In my house it doesn’t go away, but they get better at holding their tongue. 

If it doesn't go away, I at least hope this happens in my house!

[mlktwins]

Last night we had some issues and I told him he has been a 💩 since he got a phone in June.  He said, "Yeah, right.  That's it."  You know, both ear buds in too often, pretending like he can't hear us when we are talking to him, etc.  Getting grunts in response when he finally takes an earbud out and hears what we said.  Anyway, DH said the same exact thing to me this morning not knowing I had said it last night.  Some things are gonna change I think and I feel a battle coming on 😔!

It's not like this is the only thing we are having to deal with.  We lost both of DH's parents in the spring and I am dealing with so much with my elderly dad - something everyday.  It's like he forgets that there are other people in the world.  I just don't get it...

[ScoutTN]

10 hours ago, busymama7 said:

In our case, difficult and easy kids have kinda alternated.   Our first two were super hard but the next two I think watched them and decided they wanted more fun/less stress in the teen years and they were a piece of cake compared.   All 4 were born in 5 years and now we are on our next set. But those 4 are adults and lovely to be around so there is hope 😉

I do have an easy one, so 50/50 split. But since the hard one is younger, it feels like going up a very steep hill.

[ScoutTN]

10 hours ago, kbutton said:

My 13.5 year old got super critical about everything, but he has a tutor that has helped him take the edge off of this and gain some perspective. It wasn't looking pretty for a while. I hope it doesn't come back. 

Mine is in school and I am SO thankful to not have to battle over that. And to have him out of the house for 8 hrs a day. That sounds terrible coming from a homeschool mom, but it is truth. He NEEDS school and it helps our relationship tremendously. I love homeschooling, but one size does not fit all.

[Emba]

6 minutes ago, ScoutTN said:

Mine is in school and I am SO thankful to not have to battle over that. And to have him out of the house for 8 hrs a day. That sounds terrible coming from a homeschool mom, but it is truth. He NEEDS school and it helps our relationship tremendously. I love homeschooling, but one size does not fit all.

If I had not  sent DD to public school last year things would be way worse in our relationship now.   As it is she has just got her drivers permit, and I had to tell her that if she doesn’t make up her mind to learn from me I won’t drive with her anymore. She snaps “I know” every time I correct her. No, hon, if you knew already I wouldn’t have to be telling you.    Doesn’t do that when she drives with my husband. It’s just that her first instinct now about everything is to argue with me. 

[plansrme]

I have 3 teen boys in my house--my actual son, who will be 18 in a matter of days, and 2 more-than-exchange students who are 16 and 17, and will, by the time they graduate high school, have each spent 2-2.5 years in my home. Remember the scene from Winnie-the-Pooh where he floats up on a balloon and pretends to be a little black rain cloud to fool the bees? I sometimes have a whole flock of little black rain clouds. The negative energy can be overwhelming. And then, sometimes, they are randomly delightful. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT? Just as I am ready to evict you all from my house, you send me an Instagram post with a puppy, or you give me a random hug (my bonus boys only--my actual son would die first) or you pick up a chicken to bring into the house. Ugh. It is maddening.

[Soror]

My son was never all that bad- I mean I'm sure he thought we were idiots plenty but didn't express it that often as he is not a big talker Last year was tough for him but not in that way. 

My daughter- 14.5 has made up for him. She has always been more dramatic. She feels everything more deeply and expresses it loudly. Last year was horrible. It has thankfully gotten better (much helped by bc -because the hormonal shifts were horrendous and her periods were really bad). I really hope the next 2 are more like ds. 

[Alicia64]

I have twin 18 year olds. They take turns wearing me down.

I literally think of them as adorable three-year-olds when I interact with them. And I mean "literally."

[stephanier.1765]

I find this continues into their twenties but at least I don't have to live with them any more at that point.

[freesia]

5 hours ago, Alicia64 said:

I have twin 18 year olds. They take turns wearing me down.

I literally think of them as adorable three-year-olds when I interact with them. And I mean "literally."

That was my mother’s technique, too. 

[MooCow]

It gets better!! They go away to college and eventually move back home and suddenly it's like they're not little aholes all the time! Or they get married and have a baby!! Lol payback 

[Tap]

My mom (who raised 5 of her siblings and then 5 of her own kids) says that kids become annoying teenagers so you are ready for them to move out when it is time. HAHA Otherwise, we wouldn't ever want them to leave home. 

 

Edited October 9, 2021 by Tap

[freesia]

5 hours ago, Tap said:

My mom (who raised 5 of her siblings and then 5 of her own kids) says that kids become annoying teenagers so you are ready for them to move out when it is time. HAHA Otherwise, we wouldn't ever want them to leave home. 

 

Yes, I’ve heard that and experienced that!😃

[RootAnn]

13 hours ago, MooCow said:

 They go away to college and eventually move back home 

Wait, what?

Empty nesting is a thing I look forward to.

[TexasProud]

Yes, I wondered that as well, especially with the middle one. Oh my goodness, his senior year he and my husband went head to head so many times. And my husband is the most gentle, humble person on the planet. As a person on one of our mission trips said, when he speaks her blood pressure goes down. He is just so comforting to people. But the middle one could push his buttons. Hubby never yelled, but man, I could see the struggle inside that last year.  In our son's eyes, not only were we the worst parents in the world, we were idiots.  I was so ready for him to leave.

A few years later, he wrote my husband a heartfelt letter and told him what a wonderful dad he was. He wrote one to me last year. He called dh just last night and they spent 30 minutes talking. He is asking for our advice.  He is a joy to have when he comes home.

My daughter and I didn't fight nearly as much her senior year. But still, I could not comment on anything or do anything at all that smacked of any kind of advice.  She took everything as judgement.  But this past summer when she came home from college, we had the most delightful time. She calls and Facetimes me and vents about boys or school or being a music major ( I was for 3 years as well, so I can commiserate).

Anyway, if you can just somehow make it through the next few years and try not to take it personally, you will probably become much more wise and intelligent in a few years!!!

[Guest]

@TexasProud, I can sure relate to so much of your post. I’m in the thick of it with my almost-17 yo son, but, since this is not my first rodeo, I do expect it will all work out. 
 

I was just thinking about how very much our older son (22) had matured since high school. He was SO stubborn and hard-headed, dh and I had a nickname for him to that effect. (We called him Croaker, after the fish also known as a Hardhead.) He thought he just knew every damn thing and you couldn’t give him any advice. 
 

But he is such a wonderful young man now. I adore him.

[ScoutTN]

Thanks for the views from post-teen years! Encouraging.