Some prayers and good thoughts please

[Home'scool]

Since my divorce I have been having a hard time with my two adult daughters. Our relationship has become strained. We are going to family counseling but it has been a hard journey. There are issues that range from anger over the divorce to disagreements in politics .... it seems like we cannot discuss anything without it dissolving into a fight.

Today is a tough day for me. Some new developments have us at odds again. I love my girls and am trying so hard but am also trying to establish boundaries. Any good thoughts sent my way would be appreciated and any prayers for a peaceful and loving resolution is also appreciated.

Thank you in advance.

 

[DoraBora]

Praying for you right now.  I'm sorry... that is so painful.

[MooCow]

Praying for y'all. Sometimes adult kids suck. I never talk politics with my dd. Not worth the fights. 

[Kassia]

I'm sorry - tension with our children can be very painful.  Hope you can get this resolved and glad you are getting counseling.

[Junie]

Are they still living at home?  It sound like y'all need space.

Praying for you and your daughters.

[annandatje]

Do not discuss politics if it causes further strain.  What is more important?  You making your political position known or reducing tension in your relationship with daughters? If they persist in bringing up politics, respond by asking them why they believe what they believe and what experiences or education led them to taking stance they did.

Their anger over divorce may not be justifiable but is understandable; tell them you are sorry that they had to go through parents divorcing since that is a painful experience for children, regardless of their age.  Let them air their anger without you denying or rationalizing or explaining why divorce necessary.  Reassure them that both you and their father love them.   If you are anything like me, it will leave you feeling like you need packing tape to cover your mouth, but in my experience, when I started treating my young adult children like friends, even casual acquaintances, our relationships improved significantly.

I truly wish only the best for you and your daughters and believe that you will once again be a content peaceful trio.

 

 

[freesia]

I come from a family who can't discuss politics without arguing a.lot and loudly.  It never goes well.  Even when we all agree we don't like the president.  This has been multi-generational.  I wish that my mother would stop bringing things up.  Yes, my SIL does, too, but if mom stopped engaging it would make a huge difference. I just think we need to go back to not discussing politics, sex and maybe religion at the "dinner table."  Join a political discussion group or something if you need to discuss it.  You won't change their minds. They won't change yours and you will all get indigestion.

But I hear that what you wanted was prayers and I will pray.  My kids are just hitting those young adult years and I hope I can hold my tongue.  I know it must be really hard after all those years of teaching and guiding them.

[Melissa Louise]

I'm sorry, that sounds really hard. 

( Another family that doesn't talk politics, despite all voting the same way...I choose the relationships over being right...hard when some of the 'politics' bleed into the family life...)

[Kassia]

We rarely talk about politics - too many different opinions in our family.  Even between me and DH.  It's just not worth the risk, IMO.  Fortunately, only one of my kids gets really offended about people not feeling the same way he does (my Aspie).  

@Melissa Louise I am really big on choosing relationships over being right even though it's hard sometimes!  

[MercyA]

I'm so sorry, that must be so painful.  Praying here.