Sale of a house in Texas from my father's estate. Update to original post.

[Sweets]

Hello,

A few weeks ago, I posted about my father's estate. He passed away in 2013, but my only sibling and I had no contact with him since 1976, when he left after my parent's divorced. He remarried and raised two step-children, and they became his new family. My sister and I never saw or talked to our father again, except one phone call in 1995 when our paternal grandmother died. Our father did not attend any major milestones in our lives or even send a Christmas card. We did not attend his funeral. 

So, about a month ago, I got a call from one of the step-sons. Apparently, they are just now selling my father and his second wife's house. Texas real estate law is very strict apparently, and the house was left out of the trust that my father had created to basically leave his rather extensive estate to his step-children and not his biological two children. My sister and I always knew we wouldn't get anything in the will, and basically lost no sleep over it. Well, the house was left out apparently, and now the step-children had to share in the proceeds of the sale of the house. This situation came up when a title search was done on the sale of the house.

Long story short:  It is all done. They agreed to 25% equal shares of the house's sell. The two step-kids were not happy about it, but the escrow agent did assure me in the end that the two step-kids did agree that since they got everything else in the will and my sister and I were not interested in contesting the will that it was best just to agree to our request of 25% each (four children) share of the house's proceeds. I had to pay my lawyer to handle this for me since it was so, so, so stressful and emotional. All those long ago hurt feelings came roaring back, and I had to step back. I had to go find two friends or relatives to witness to my parents marriage and divorce (mind this was almost 45+ years ago) because in Texas the legal marriage and divorce certificates weren't enough. I called and emailed a lot of cousins. Most said on my mom's side of the family were still very bitter. My father's side of the family had also been so hurt by his treatment. It is all so sad, but I also was able to speak with some cousins that I hadn't spoken to in years! Ironically, my aunt on my father's side, who really did not like my mom at all, was eager to act as a witness because she loves my sister, especially. I also found one niece of my father to act as a witness.

This poor escrow agent said this was the most complicated closing ever in her career. Since we are all out of state of Texas, it was a lot of arranging notaries and Fed Exing. We did everything through our lawyer which made it way easier for my sister and I. 

And because of this, my husband and I updated our wills so our kids won't be stuck with dealing with any problems like this. So, if you own a home in Texas, make sure that your title searches are done before you even begin to try to sell or close on a house. This was a real nightmare for us all, bio and step children. 

[Scarlett]

3 minutes ago, Sweets said:

Hello,

A few weeks ago, I posted about my father's estate. He passed away in 2013, but my only sibling and I had no contact with him since 1976, when he left after my parent's divorced. He remarried and raised two step-children, and they became his new family. My sister and I never saw or talked to our father again, except one phone call in 1995 when our paternal grandmother died. Our father did not attend any major milestones in our lives or even send a Christmas card. We did not attend his funeral. 

So, about a month ago, I got a call from one of the step-sons. Apparently, they are just now selling my father and his second wife's house. Texas real estate law is very strict apparently, and the house was left out of the trust that my father had created to basically leave his rather extensive estate to his step-children and not his biological two children. My sister and I always knew we wouldn't get anything in the will, and basically lost no sleep over it. Well, the house was left out apparently, and now the step-children had to share in the proceeds of the sale of the house. This situation came up when a title search was done on the sale of the house.

Long story short:  It is all done. They agreed to 25% equal shares of the house's sell. The two step-kids were not happy about it, but the escrow agent did assure me in the end that the two step-kids did agree that since they got everything else in the will and my sister and I were not interested in contesting the will that it was best just to agree to our request of 25% each (four children) share of the house's proceeds. I had to pay my lawyer to handle this for me since it was so, so, so stressful and emotional. All those long ago hurt feelings came roaring back, and I had to step back. I had to go find two friends or relatives to witness to my parents marriage and divorce (mind this was almost 45+ years ago) because in Texas the legal marriage and divorce certificates weren't enough. I called and emailed a lot of cousins. Most said on my mom's side of the family were still very bitter. My father's side of the family had also been so hurt by his treatment. It is all so sad, but I also was able to speak with some cousins that I hadn't spoken to in years! Ironically, my aunt on my father's side, who really did not like my mom at all, was eager to act as a witness because she loves my sister, especially. I also found one niece of my father to act as a witness.

This poor escrow agent said this was the most complicated closing ever in her career. Since we are all out of state of Texas, it was a lot of arranging notaries and Fed Exing. We did everything through our lawyer which made it way easier for my sister and I. 

And because of this, my husband and I updated our wills so our kids won't be stuck with dealing with any problems like this. So, if you own a home in Texas, make sure that your title searches are done before you even begin to try to sell or close on a house. This was a real nightmare for us all, bio and step children. 

Well, I am glad that is over and glad you stood up for you and your sister's legal rights.  And I can't help but wonder if your father didn't leave it out of the trust intentionally, knowing you and your sister would get part of it.

[Sweets]

23 hours ago, Scarlett said:

Well, I am glad that is over and glad you stood up for you and your sister's legal rights.  And I can't help but wonder if your father didn't leave it out of the trust intentionally, knowing you and your sister would get part of it.

My husband had this thought, but he is a very kind person. We've been married 43 years, and he never met my father so that was how far the estrangement went with our families. I never even knew the names of his second wife and step-children until seeing the legal papers on the sale of the house. However, my lawyer did go over a copy of the will and estate my father had set up, and he assured us that yes, it was my father's intention to leave my sister and I nothing. My father's lawyer made a mistake, because he left the real estate out of the trust. I've learned more about Texas real estate than I ever wanted to know. But apparently, and a simplified explanation, in Texas, the property goes to the legal children (adopted or bio) and not the surviving spouse or step-children. My father never legally adopted his step-children. Their mother, (his second wife), lived in the home until she passed away in Mar 2020, and that was when her two kids thought that they were left the house in entirety. 50% was their mother's and 50% was my father's. So, they inheirited 50% and we inheirited 50%. All of the other aspects of my father's estate, life insurance and investments went to the step-children. My lawyer said, "Do you know his estate was in excess of $3 million?" I said, yes, we knew. But, I'm not going to contest anything. The step-children loved my father, took care of him in his last days, and my father and his second wife were married for 37 years. They were more his family than my sister and I were. I mostly requested the 25% because it really benefitted my sister who is in poor health now due to a stroke. After talking with my cousins on my father's side of the family, I was really saddened to see to what extent my father though also cut out his side of the family:  his only brother and nieces and nephews. We had not kept in touch. My mom's side of the family, ironically, still live in Texas, and even after 45 years, they were still angry about how my mom was treated. It's a long and sordid story and so sad and left so many people hurt and shattered. My mother took us away from Texas to start a new life after the divorce, and she is the one we remember with love. She passed away in 1986. Thank you all so much for letting me get this off my chest. It's been a very emotional journey. It was not easy, even as a older person, to realize to what extent - even at the end of his life - my father wanted nothing to do with my sister and I. He never met his bio grandchildren, even my youngest who has my father's eyes. 

 

[Melissa in Australia]

Hugs

[Resilient]

I'm glad for the update and that your sister will have some financial help.  It is unfathomable to me that a person would cut out his own children.  I can see bitterness against an X or just being crabby but...  I find a lot more to admire in your attitude than in anyone else's.  You must be relieved to be done with this.  You were smart to hire a lawyer to save your own sanity.

[pinball]

I’m glad it worked out…

but how old are you?

your parents divorced in 1976…and your dad did not attend any major milestones in your life. So this makes it sound like you were a child or maybe teen? in 76?

But you’ve been married 43 years?

So how old were you when your parentsdivorced?

[Wheres Toto]

17 hours ago, pinball said:

I’m glad it worked out…

but how old are you?

your parents divorced in 1976…and your dad did not attend any major milestones in your life. So this makes it sound like you were a child or maybe teen? in 76?

But you’ve been married 43 years?

So how old were you when your parentsdivorced?

I don't know what you intended but this questioning comes across pretty rudely. 

1976 was 45/46 years ago.  She got married 2/3 years after the divorce.  She could have been 15 or 16 at the divorce and married young at 18 or 19.  Her father would have missed her high school and/or college graduations, her wedding, birth of her children (the usual major milestones).

[Carrie12345]

17 hours ago, pinball said:

I’m glad it worked out…

but how old are you?

your parents divorced in 1976…and your dad did not attend any major milestones in your life. So this makes it sound like you were a child or maybe teen? in 76?

But you’ve been married 43 years?

So how old were you when your parentsdivorced?

 

8 minutes ago, Wheres Toto said:

I don't know what you intended but this questioning comes across pretty rudely. 

1976 was 45/46 years ago.  She got married 2/3 years after the divorce.  She could have been 15 or 16 at the divorce and married young at 18 or 19.  Her father would have missed her high school and/or college graduations, her wedding, birth of her children (the usual major milestones).

Easily.  My parents split 13 years later than that and I’ve been married 13 years shorter. I was 16.  
He’ll never have any estate to worry about though, so no surprises for me!

[pinball]

32 minutes ago, Wheres Toto said:

I don't know what you intended but this questioning comes across pretty rudely. 

1976 was 45/46 years ago.  She got married 2/3 years after the divorce.  She could have been 15 or 16 at the divorce and married young at 18 or 19.  Her father would have missed her high school and/or college graduations, her wedding, birth of her children (the usual major milestones).

It was simple curiosity. Sweets is free to answer or not.

My worldview is not so limited; I do consider childhood to have major milestones.
 

[Sweets]

On 9/19/2021 at 1:31 PM, pinball said:

I’m glad it worked out…

but how old are you?

your parents divorced in 1976…and your dad did not attend any major milestones in your life. So this makes it sound like you were a child or maybe teen? in 76?

But you’ve been married 43 years?

So how old were you when your parentsdivorced?

Hello, I don't really mind answering the question. I was just trying to be vague enough, although I doubt most people in my family would be on this board. I was 14 when my parents separated and 15 when the divorce was final and married a week after my 18th birthday. Not ashamed to admit that my husband and I married within days of meeting! He was in the Air Force, and we moved about 2000 miles away. I honestly think I was running away from home, but I was very, very, very lucky and married a wonderful man. Three sons, one grandchild, and a very different life than my mother lived. My father never attended my high school or college graduations or sent any congratulations on any baby. His granddaughter (my sister's daughter) was killed in 2010 and not one word from him. We know he heard about our lives, however,  somehow as the step-children had my name, address, and phone number. Anyway, it's been a long and sad story. It's was a goal of mine to overcome the emotional abuse and trauma that I endured by my father. It never really goes away, but I think I've learned to just set it aside.

[pinball]

Thanks, Sweets. That is long and sad but I’m glad to hear of your positive outcome. It is tough to turn around the legacy of abusive and neglectful and absent parenting so I give you all the credit in the world.

and I’m so sorry about your niece.