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ugh, tired of hard decisions!


ktgrok
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DD11 started youth group yesterday. It is for middle and highschool. It is an amazing group, I was super impressed with the kids and the leadership. There is a lock in scheduled for mid october. They have their Sunday School and meetings outdoors, anytime they are inside they are required to mask. I'm assuming the lock in will be indoors, obviously, so masked, but kids are not going to sleep in masks - I mean I know I'd take it off in my sleep. 

Covid cautious me says no way.

Mom who sees her daughter FINALLY making friends, and excited about ANYTHING For the first time in 18 months...is probably going to say yes. 

I hate all of this pressure!

I wish I could just get her vaccinated! Waiting another month or two for that means she and her siblings are exposed. If i could just get her vaccinated, she's going to have the most exposure, I'd feel so much better. But I have no idea how I'd manage that. 

Edited by ktgrok
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Katie, before making a decision, please call the youth director and ask about it. Let them know that you have very special health concerns at home yet are also trying to balance that with your child's emotional and mental well being. Ask if they would consider changing it to a cook out, Smores around the fire, sleep out under the stars kind of thing, and if bugs and such are a big issue, see if families can bring tents for their own children or borrow them. Maybe people in the church would love to offer their tents, maybe come and create a tent city for the kids, leave a positive, nurturing message/sign for each tent. It could end up being something super special for everyone, and yet more covid sensitive.

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Yes I would ask questions.  Any lock in I went to there was NO sleeping.  none.

I would think in your area the kids could be outside a lot of the time.  

But then reach out to the director and voice your concerns and come up with other options.  The cook out and bringing their own tents is great.  IT sounds like a great place and that they are trying to do things safe, so I would ask and then go to the next option.  

Maybe even ask if they can push it back to the kid vaccine comes out.  

But I get it.  My kids just got back from Nature school.  I was so worried about it.  But my 10 almost 11 year old LOVED it.  It is worth the risk.  I wish I would have done it sooner.  

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You know, you are right, they have been so careful, they must have a plan. And they have lots of areas to be outdoors there. And indeed, most kids won't be sleeping. I'm just honestly not going to worry about it until i hear more. There is a parent meeting later this month, and they will go over things then. 

Oh, and I just realized, it won't be the whole youth group, just 6-8th grade, as this is for the OWL class participants only, so way less kids than I was picturing. So less people = less risk plus more able to distance/spread out if/when they do sleep. That makes me feel a bit better.  (they've adapted the 7-9th grade level of O.W.L. for 6-8th to do in middle school)

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Wife of a former youth pastor here- Lock-ins for 11 year olds is a terrible idea, even in normal times. I hated doing them with the teens (the teens did love them) but for under 13yos? Why are they even?

That said, I would probably ask if you could pick her up at midnight (or other acceptable but late time). Maybe leadership would be cool with that?

Edited by sassenach
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My kids did OWL - really  such a great program!

We've had events like this where we had something on the calendar for the next day that could not be moved.  So at times we've made special arrangements for a midnight or whatever pickup when the sleepover portion hasn't worked.  Just an option to consider if you're uncomfortable with a sleepover.  Our church always enforced a lights out/quiet time at events like this so it really wasn't a free for all for 12 hours.   It was actually pretty structured, our kids did something like this toward the beginning of the year for their owl program too.  But their program was all 8th graders.  

Edited by FuzzyCatz
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55 minutes ago, ktgrok said:

You know, you are right, they have been so careful, they must have a plan. And they have lots of areas to be outdoors there. And indeed, most kids won't be sleeping. I'm just honestly not going to worry about it until i hear more. There is a parent meeting later this month, and they will go over things then. 

Oh, and I just realized, it won't be the whole youth group, just 6-8th grade, as this is for the OWL class participants only, so way less kids than I was picturing. So less people = less risk plus more able to distance/spread out if/when they do sleep. That makes me feel a bit better.  (they've adapted the 7-9th grade level of O.W.L. for 6-8th to do in middle school)

Oh I just wanted to say that OWL is the BEST!!!!

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Yes, I'm very excited about her doing OWL, in large part because although I try to be the cool mom who can talk with you about everything, I'm not terribly good at it. And because honestly, she will get more and better info on things like gender, etc probably there - she already can school me on correct terminology 🙂

And because of the emphasis on healthy relationships, including friendships. And on self respect and communication skills. All such important stuff! That stuff I DO talk with her and feel confident in doing so, but hearing it from someone other than mom is important. 

Edited by ktgrok
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Similar situation here. DD is 11 and she has rocked the last year and a half in lockdown. But she is D.O.N.E. This girl is an extrovert to the extreme and she needs to be with her friends. Several of her friends have all moved up to youth group just this week and they are all in heaven. 

The rest of the family is vaxed and DH and I are choosing to allow her to be with her friends. None of us are high risk, so we are letting her venture out more. I'm so tired of hard decisions.

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