Trying to be (Covid-) responsible is exhausting and makes me sad

[regentrude]

24 minutes ago, Faith-manor said:

 I really feel horrible for everyone in the arts. We have been so screwed by the way this pandemic has been handled, and the way half the nation has acted. My community fine arts program director is gone. Finished. The foundation is tired of fighting the nutters for it, the large church that hosted events went "covid is a hoax", donations dried up. And the kids suffer because the children's community choir, the children's art and theater day camp, the summer teen musical theater program, the family movies on the lawn, the ballroom dancing for kids, the community art gallery showings, the student art shows....all gone, every one of them. 

In particular, the piano performance portion of my career is beyond finished. I am done dealing with venues. D.o.n.e.

I am sorry your arts programs are so horribly affected. My mother was a voice professor and we talked about this often; many professional musician had their careers killed by the pandemic. 
Here, community theatre has resumed after a hiatus; we have an amazing group organized by a homeschooling mother of ten who has created a professional quality troupe with stellar reputation and lots of community support. They had their first big performances since Covid this summer - with distances and masks for the audience. Community choir had resumed in the spring, with singing masks. I have to see how the university ensembles are handling it this semester. 

Quote

I wonder about a progressive event where folks go in small, masked groups from one bookstore/restaurant/pub to another and the reader is very distanced from the small pod of people. So on a Sunday afternoon or whatever, maybe 100 people would come through, but only in groups of 8-10, staggered arrivals, and masks required. Of course that only works if proprietors are willing to have standards and enforce them. I realize that might not be remotely possible. Many won't try.

This is a lovely idea and would work in a city. We're lucky if there's twenty people total. There are no options of venues to wander between. We're happy if there is one location in the town that'll let us have an event.

As for the forest idea, I'd be all for it, but I don't think I can convince any audience to drive out of town and into the woods. As I said before, folks feel safe going to the pub or the bookstore, so it would be an impossible sell.

[SoCal_Bear]

10 hours ago, cintinative said:

There isn't a whole lot of rebuke going on in the modern church that I can make out, but if recklessness was part of the picture, I would feel very strongly that a rebuke and attempt at restoration was necessary. 

Galatians 6:1 "Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted."

Luke 17: 1-4 "Jesus said to His disciples, “It is inevitable that stumbling blocks will come, but woe to the one through whom they come! It would be better for him to have a millstone hung around his neck and to be thrown into the sea than to cause one of these little ones to stumble. Watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. Even if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times returns to say, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”

 

@cintinative I spoke to her about this and about several specific occasions where she broke trust with the leadership team. We had agreed that we would be following masking when you couldn't socially distance. She unilaterally decided not to do this at multiple events over about a 7 week period and did not notify or discuss this with any of us. Half the board was completely unware and in disagreement. I addressed this issues and the broken trust when I heard about it and saw photos of what was going on. I also said that it undermined our leadership convenant and broke trust and relationship. From that point forward, she stopped speaking to me. After a month went by, I went and privately spoke to her and the another board member who went along with what happened and that it was hurtful that they did not talk to me about what happened and that I felt this spoke to me that they did not value our relationship. All I got was an excuses about forgetfulness and busyness. There has been no apology or seeking of forgiveness. A 3rd board member reached out to me about 2 weeks post the first convo and apologized and asked for forgiveness. This same board member told me that she had spoken to the president and other board member about the need to apology and ask for forgiveness and to seek reconciliation. I was not angry during either conversation. I expressed multiple times that it grieved my heart and my profound sadness over the situation. Neither of them has spoken to me since mid-April when I tendered my resignation other than the one time I mentioned above that I went spoke to time privately around mid-May. At this point, what is my responsibility? Can I move on with a clear conscience? 

[AmandaVT]

21 hours ago, regentrude said:

sorry, I misunderstood. Sounds like your church is great. I wish there were more churches like that. (My friend is a pastor in a small local church here, one of the very few churches who took Covid precautions. And boy, did they get ostracized for it. )

One of our local churches went from an average attendance of more than 200 to less than 30 because they required masking and distancing during service and the pastor refused to endorse a presidential candidate from the pulpit. They all flocked to more conservative churches who held maskless services even when everyone was required to mask indoors.

[Spy Car]

While trying to maintain rationality in the face of widespread madness is exhausting, it is preferable to meeting "crazy" half-way.

Stay strong.

Bill

[Wildcat]

I'm actually fighting off a funk because I'm just so over all of this.

Edited September 7, 2021 by Wildcat

[happi duck]

24 minutes ago, Wildcat said:

I'm actually fighting off a funk because I'm just so over all of this.

Same.  Yesterday I had my biggest panic attack in awhile.  My nervous system is frayed by all this *gestures vaguely*

I feel so fragile and exhausted.

[madteaparty]

If this is a JAWM thread, please feel free to tell me to pipe down. But what’s the seating situation at these readings? Could you wear a mask and sit apart, away from people? The traveling to see parents is harder—I got tested right before I went the first time and then stayed elsewhere to try and protect parents—(the second time they had all passed covid so it was easier to visit).

My most cautious friend who basically stayed locked up alone in a NYC apartment for about 18 months just had dinner inside a restaurant  this week, with family —I was shocked by this (because I don’t eat inside a restaurant still!) but again the calculations are changing all the time as this goes on. 

Edited September 7, 2021 by madteaparty

[cintinative]

13 hours ago, calbear said:

 At this point, what is my responsibility? Can I move on with a clear conscience? 

Yes. You have followed the Matthew 18 model.  She is choosing not to repent. You have been faithful.  It's super hard to move on from a person, I know--we want so badly for people to turn away from their sin, but she has been warned, and she has not. Since there is no larger church in authority over the group, there is nothing more really that you can do. You can stay and deal with it or, if it makes you stumble (which is understandable), move on to a different group.  

Edited September 7, 2021 by cintinative

[ktgrok]

14 hours ago, happi duck said:

Same.  Yesterday I had my biggest panic attack in awhile.  My nervous system is frayed by all this *gestures vaguely*

I feel so fragile and exhausted.

Yup. my DH said the other day, "You don't seem happy lately. How can I help?"
Which was sweet, but um, living in a biological war zone - this is as happy as I get in those circumstances. 

[Faith-manor]

1 hour ago, ktgrok said:

Yup. my DH said the other day, "You don't seem happy lately. How can I help?"
Which was sweet, but um, living in a biological war zone - this is as happy as I get in those circumstances. 

You and me both. There is simply a limit to how chipper we can be when this is a raging nightmare that is going on 18 months.

[sangtarah]

1 hour ago, ktgrok said:

Yup. my DH said the other day, "You don't seem happy lately. How can I help?"
Which was sweet, but um, living in a biological war zone - this is as happy as I get in those circumstances. 

I’m right there with you. I had to make a grocery run today - absolutely no one in the store had a mask. A couple people going in did. Then I saw a post by a former church’s pastor wife on FB - it was praising McArthur and his church and I just can’t anymore. I’m done with people. I’m not sure how to ever re-enter community, especially when we move so soon and I have to find new people. It just all so messed up. 

Of course, I’ll have new problems with family members once we move. I know they will want to act like “normal”, but with a mask. But there is no normal anymore. My mom and grandma went to the ER last night for a blood pressure issue. They will live with us (same property) once we move. I think I’m just going to resign myself to my kids being exposed, one way or another. I don’t know if I have much more endurance to have strict protocols when the onslaught will surround us. 

[Indigo Blue]

Well, around my area I am encouraged to see people shopping and mostly wearing masks. Even the lady at our local Walmart was asking people as they entered if they would like a mask. Unfortunately, my church is in person with maybe two or three elderly people masking. I’m like the rest of you. I think it’s just awful when the people who claim to be the ones ready to sacrifice for others the most turn out to be the ones least willing to do such a small but hugely effective thing. It has changed my view of everything. 

[cintinative]

2 hours ago, Indigo Blue said:

I think it’s just awful when the people who claim to be the ones ready to sacrifice for others the most turn out to be the ones least willing to do such a small but hugely effective thing. It has changed my view of everything. 

This.

I thought when our elders recommended masks that people would do it, and they did, mostly, the first week. The second week, it was about 20%. 

I am so grieved.

[Harriet Vane]

Yes, I grieve as well. Every Sunday at church dh and I are literally the only ones in the entire building wearing a mask. Hundreds of people and a sizable population of kids, all unmasked. Plenty of elderly as well, all unmasked. We have not been to the big service since the pandemic started--we just go to our small group. It meets upstairs in a small wing with no other classes. Even this gives me the heebie-jeebies since no-one is willing to open a window. I stay masked and I try to be courageous about my reputation for being paranoid. 

So yes, I am grieved and puzzled as to why Christians are making these choices. Why they cannot see "the least of these." Or any scientific logic. It absolutely breaks my heart.

[Longtime Lurker]

1 hour ago, Harriet Vane said:

Yes, I grieve as well. Every Sunday at church dh and I are literally the only ones in the entire building wearing a mask. Hundreds of people and a sizable population of kids, all unmasked. Plenty of elderly as well, all unmasked. We have not been to the big service since the pandemic started--we just go to our small group. It meets upstairs in a small wing with no other classes. Even this gives me the heebie-jeebies since no-one is willing to open a window. I stay masked and I try to be courageous about my reputation for being paranoid. 

So yes, I am grieved and puzzled as to why Christians are making these choices. Why they cannot see "the least of these." Or any scientific logic. It absolutely breaks my heart.

DH and I are two of only five who currently mask at our church. And we sit in the "annex" away from the singing. It is lonely.

Edited September 8, 2021 by Longtime Lurker
spelling

[busymama7]

Having a mask mandate return to our state was actually a relief for church.  A few people refuse but the majority wear one as our leaders encourage us to follow the mandate.  

[happi duck]

1 minute ago, busymama7 said:

Having a mask mandate return to our state was actually a relief for church.  A few people refuse but the majority wear one as our leaders encourage us to follow the mandate.  

I am so happy to have a statewide mandate.  I left a phone message to thank the governor.

[regentrude]

I wanted to thank everybody for their kind words and commiseration.
I'm having a rough time these days and I really appreciate hearing that I am not the only person who is not "back to normal".

[Acadie]

Not at all back to normal, here. 

When I see people unmasked in indoor public spaces I think one of two things must be true:

1) there's a small chance they need to be unmasked for some reason, or are VERY recently recovered from Covid (Delta-recently)

2) or--more likely--they don't understand what's happening, either because public health messaging has been crap or they're in the thrall of something that doesn't have their best interest, nor the greater good, at heart. 

[ScoutTN]

On 9/7/2021 at 5:20 PM, cintinative said:

 

I am so grieved.

I feel this was too, about some Christian friends. So sad and angry. How can they be so unloving?!

The leadership at my church has been generally responsible throughout this, however.  Not perfect, but way better than many conservative churches. Masks are strongly recommended (required for staff, officers, and their families) and almost everyone does wear one. One of our pastors spoke last week, telling how important it is to him bc his wife (who cannot attend) is in treatment for cancer and cannot be vaxed. How anyone unmasked can look him in the eye, I cannot fathom. 

I wish they’d go back to all distanced seating. We have 100% masked and distanced in the balcony.

Our church leaders need to keep people from gathering so closely outdoors during coffee hour, too. 

[ScoutTN]

29 minutes ago, regentrude said:

I wanted to thank everybody for their kind words and commiseration.
I'm having a rough time these days and I really appreciate hearing that I am not the only person who is not "back to normal".

Thanks for teaching in al this chaos, Regentrude. Sorry you state and uni are so rough. 

[regentrude]

13 minutes ago, ScoutTN said:

Thanks for teaching in al this chaos, Regentrude. Sorry you state and uni are so rough. 

The uni is ok; we have a mask mandate. Our infection numbers on campus are really low - much better than those of the community.

[mom2scouts]

My community started going back to normal this summer when it seemed Covid was going away. Even with the new variant, things are still going on as normal in most places. The schools started mask mandates this week, but all activities are still happening and there's no masks outdoors, so packed football stadiums and other sports teams playing. Our church was very good about trying to prevent the spread by closing down, social distancing, mask mandates, and other protections, but right now it hasn't gone back to any of those things. I've noticed a few more people are starting to wear masks again, but mostly things seem back to normal with crowds and regular Sunday services. I expect that most of the people in my area are vaxxed and seem to think masking isn't necessary in most areas anymore.

[regentrude]

And I just canceled on yet another thing.
I don't know why I waited until the last minute... I knew last week that I probably wasn't going. I don't know what miracle I was waiting for - our hospital and ICU are still full, and the hospital reports a positivity rate of 35% .
Wanna read a disturbing report from my state?
https://www.cnn.com/2021/09/09/us/ozarks-missouri-covid-vaccine/index.html

 

Edited September 10, 2021 by regentrude

[JennyD]

4 hours ago, regentrude said:

https://www.cnn.com/2021/09/09/us/ozarks-missouri-covid-vaccine/index.html

 

That is one of the most depressing things I have read in quite some time.  And I read a lot.

Almost every day it crosses my mind that Rupert Murdoch was one of the first people in the entire world to get vaccinated against Covid-19.