I’m not ready for this

[MEmama]

DS leaves for university tomorrow. I’ve managed to remain in denial until this afternoon, but now all his bags are packed, customs and immigration paperwork printed, and in the morning we drop him off at the airport. I started crying when he was petting the kitty; he is going to miss them so much. I am going to miss him so much.

I’m crazy mad proud and excited for him but…I.am.not.ready.

I honestly don’t know how I’m going to hold myself together.

[freesia]

(((Hugs)))  This will be me on Thursday!  Our kitty is very attached to dd.  She is working on her customs papers today--she just got her Covid test.  I am so glad she is following her dream but western Canada is so far!

(The year I studied in Ireland I told my Dad that it was the best year of my life.  He sniffed and said, "It was the only year without me."  I can't believe I did that and hope your son doesn't do that to you.  But, Ireland is a great place to study and so relaxed after the US.)

Anyway, my youngest starting to cry distracted me when oldest went off.  I won't have that on Friday.  I will be thinking of you, though. 

[Kassia]

Aw, big hugs to both of you!  It's really hard.  I hope both of your kids are very happy! 

[regentrude]

Hugs. It is hard. When I dropped off DD her freshman year, I cried so much in the car on the way home. And your DS will be far away!

It is ok to be sad and to mourn the end of a chapter in your life. I feel there is often some stigma associated with this, as if it means the mother can't rejoice in their child's journey - but that's nonsense. Of course we are happy and excited for them, but we are also grieving for the loss. As complex humans, we can hold multiple emotions at the same time.

[regentrude]

I want to put these two poems here, for @MEmama and any other mom whose kids are leaving for the first time.

Journey

We set out a long time ago.
Years stretched before us, a vast land,
with pathways and hills to explore.
We journeyed.

Too soon,
we are nearing the shore of the sea
where you will embark
on a ship to a country I cannot
see in my dreams.

Sure-footed,
you will step aboard
and perhaps glance backwards once.

I shall remain on the shore,
sand slipping through my hands.

 

I Watch You Sail Away

on the blue stream of the years,
uncharted
current and tides,
different than they were
on my voyage.

My tattered maps
will be of no use to you,

but I gave you
my compass—
this has to be 
enough.
 

 

[MEmama]

1 hour ago, freesia said:

(((Hugs)))  This will be me on Thursday!  Our kitty is very attached to dd.  She is working on her customs papers today--she just got her Covid test.  I am so glad she is following her dream but western Canada is so far!

(The year I studied in Ireland I told my Dad that it was the best year of my life.  He sniffed and said, "It was the only year without me."  I can't believe I did that and hope your son doesn't do that to you.  But, Ireland is a great place to study and so relaxed after the US.)

Anyway, my youngest starting to cry distracted me when oldest went off.  I won't have that on Friday.  I will be thinking of you, though. 

I’ll be thinking of you on Thursday—sending you strength. ❤️
 

Oh I HOPE these are the best years of his life (so far)! Looking back I’m sure I seemed cruel leaving home the way I did; he at least is gentle and grateful. He knows I’m equally proud and heartbroken. 

[Kassia]

@regentrudethose are beautiful and so touching.  Thank you for sharing

[MEmama]

24 minutes ago, regentrude said:

Hugs. It is hard. When I dropped off DD her freshman year, I cried so much in the car on the way home. And your DS will be far away!

It is ok to be sad and to mourn the end of a chapter in your life. I feel there is often some stigma associated with this, as if it means the mother can't rejoice in their child's journey - but that's nonsense. Of course we are happy and excited for them, but we are also grieving for the loss. As complex humans, we can hold multiple emotions at the same time.

Thank you. DH doesn’t understand, my parents pretend it’s only good. Of course it’s good, of course I’m excited for him and of course I’m thrilled he’s following his passion and his dream…but I still get to feel sorrow, I still get to nurse my broken heart, I still get to miss my only child—who will never again be exactly as he is right now. Who will be a Young Man who has Done Things next time I see him (well actually I get to see him next week, but after that). 

20 minutes ago, regentrude said:

I want to put these two poems here, for @MEmama and any other mom whose kids are leaving for the first time.

Journey

We set out a long time ago.
Years stretched before us, a vast land,
with pathways and hills to explore.
We journeyed.

Too soon,
we are nearing the shore of the sea
where you will embark
on a ship to a country I cannot
see in my dreams.

Sure-footed,
you will step aboard
and perhaps glance backwards once.

I shall remain on the shore,
sand slipping through my hands.

 

I Watch You Sail Away

on the blue stream of the years,
uncharted
current and tides,
different than they were
on my voyage.

My tattered maps
will be of no use to you,

but I gave you
my compass—
this has to be 
enough.
 

 

 

Oh my. I’m going to have to re-read these many times before I’m not straining to see your words through my tears. Beautiful, just beautiful. Thank you.

[Lanny]

@MEmamaThis is From a very old father... The first time our DD went off to a  university in a foreign country (in the USA) was in August 2019.  I was OK, until she went through the door to the Secure area in the International terminal in the airport and then it was so sudden. She was gone. There were so many things that I wished I had told her...

My DW and I were pretty sad in the car on the way home and I think both of us cried for 30 to 60 minutes, after we were in the house and then we were OK.

HINT: If you haven't already done so install "WhatsApp" on your phones and tablets.  In addition to email, that is wonderful and it is free.  Voice or Text.  My DW and DD mostly use Voice. I use Text with her almost always. 

To show you how things change. Yesterday was her FDOC in her "Semester Abroad"  program in Germany.  For a month or 2 before she left, I was thinking about when she would be leaving and counting the days.  I had tears in my eyes, many many times, just thinking about her leaving. Because of COVID-19 only the passengers are allowed in the International terminal now. My wife and I said goodbye to DD before she left the house in the car to go to the airport and we were both OK.

We as parents are proud of them and are happy for them.

[MerryAtHope]

This was me a week and a half ago! (((Hugs))). I felt lost and despondent at first, but tried to be encouraging. My dd is doing well thankfully, but that first weekend was hard on all of us. Hang in there!

[madteaparty]

I think we need to pin regentrude’s poems.

OP, I can’t even make it through college tours if I see parents dropping kids off. And I will have one left home still. All the sympathy. 

[Eos]

Hugs to you @MEmamaI hope it goes smoothly.  I remember dropping off oldest ds the first time, only 5 hours away in MA and bawling so hard on the drive home I had to pull over.  That was a long drive home.  

As much as I don't love modern technology, facetime has made it so much easier to have a child across the ocean.

Have a peaceful day.  Know that your love surrounds him like a warm comfy sweater, and it's his favorite sweater.

[MEmama]

8 hours ago, madteaparty said:

I think we need to pin regentrude’s poems.

OP, I can’t even make it through college tours if I see parents dropping kids off. And I will have one left home still. All the sympathy. 

We live behind some student housing and every year when students move in they seem so mature, so sure of themselves and like they occupy a vastly different space in their lives that so far I haven’t quite been able to reliably imagine DS occupying. And now suddenly he will join their ranks, leaving childhood behind and embracing his journey to young adulthood and The Rest of his Life. He is ready, I see it in him more everyday, and I’m grateful for that—especially after the special hell of the past year and a half. I hoped I’d be a little better prepared, but man, this is hard. Exciting, but really truly hard. 
 

One minute I have to remind him to put his cereal bowl in the sink and the next I have to leave him outside the airport? How does that even work?

[MEmama]

2 hours ago, Harpymom said:

Hugs to you @MEmamaI hope it goes smoothly.  I remember dropping off oldest ds the first time, only 5 hours away in MA and bawling so hard on the drive home I had to pull over.  That was a long drive home.  

As much as I don't love modern technology, facetime has made it so much easier to have a child across the ocean.

Have a peaceful day.  Know that your love surrounds him like a warm comfy sweater, and it's his favorite sweater.

Thank you for this beautiful image. I’ll be holding it close to my heart when I need comfort. ❤️

[Dmmetler]

It's hard. L moved in two weeks ago today. I will say that I've probably talked to my child more (mostly via texting) in the last two weeks than in any two week period over the last year, and that being on campus, with people and in a vaccinated, tested, masked bubble so that it feels safe has definitely been a positive. 

[J-rap]

When our first child took off three months after high school graduation (to go abroad), I broke down at the grocery store check-out paying for his flight snacks with a long line of people behind me.  Of course no one had any idea what was going on with me!

I will say that once he was actually on the plane and on his way, so much of that heavy sadness lifted and I settled more into the excitement phase.  Hugs to both of you!!

 

 

[bibiche]

Big hugs. If it makes you feel better (though I don’t know why it would), I’m sitting here bawling along with you. The poems made it worse! 😂 (but very lovely, regentrude)

Thank goodness for technology! Gone are the days of phone cards and quick rushed calls. You’ll be able to send and receive quick texts whenever and see his beautiful, loved face right on your phone. Often. It’ll be okay. His excitement will soothe your sadness. Again, big, big hugs. 💗 

[Dmmetler]

1 hour ago, J-rap said:

When our first child took off three months after high school graduation (to go abroad), I broke down at the grocery store check-out paying for his flight snacks with a long line of people behind me.  Of course no one had any idea what was going on with me!

I will say that once he was actually on the plane and on his way, so much of that heavy sadness lifted and I settled more into the excitement phase.  Hugs to both of you!!

 

 

The first grocery trip was really hard on me because there were so many things I didn't need to buy. The shopping cart just felt so empty. 

[Kassia]

16 minutes ago, Dmmetler said:

The first grocery trip was really hard on me because there were so many things I didn't need to buy. The shopping cart just felt so empty. 

For me it was the last one.  I cried when I bought milk when I realized it didn't matter what the sell by date was - they'd be gone before any of the dates on the cartons (twins).  

[J-rap]

11 hours ago, Dmmetler said:

The first grocery trip was really hard on me because there were so many things I didn't need to buy. The shopping cart just felt so empty. 

I can totally relate that.  Our first to leave was our only son, and he ate so much!  And was pretty picky about what he wanted.  It was so different not having to think about that while shopping...

[BakersDozen]

On 8/22 I didn't think I would make it. I could not breathe. I could not think. I could not stop crying. One of the dearest people I have ever known (dd18) left for school across the country - this is a girl I miss like crazy if she's gone for a weekend! It was beyond hard.

It's way more fun bringing babies home than watching them "fly" from the nest.

[MEmama]

21 hours ago, J-rap said:

When our first child took off three months after high school graduation (to go abroad), I broke down at the grocery store check-out paying for his flight snacks with a long line of people behind me.  Of course no one had any idea what was going on with me!

I will say that once he was actually on the plane and on his way, so much of that heavy sadness lifted and I settled more into the excitement phase.  Hugs to both of you!!

 

 

The drive to Boston is always so awful (at least in the city, getting there is easy) and the airport drop off was so chaotic that I didn’t have time to get emotional. I'm giving myself space to break down, but so far I haven’t. He’s been texting for hours which is helping buoy me up—I’m so excited to hear all the details!—and now I have to plan our upcoming trip which I've barely thought about. That’ll keep me busy for a few days.

Last night we watched Derry Girls while he watched it on the plane. So it kinda felt like we were together doing our normal routine. 🙂 

[MEmama]

20 hours ago, bibiche said:

Big hugs. If it makes you feel better (though I don’t know why it would), I’m sitting here bawling along with you. The poems made it worse! 😂 (but very lovely, regentrude)

Thank goodness for technology! Gone are the days of phone cards and quick rushed calls. You’ll be able to send and receive quick texts whenever and see his beautiful, loved face right on your phone. Often. It’ll be okay. His excitement will soothe your sadness. Again, big, big hugs. 💗 

Thank you! Your hugs and tears *definitely* help! 🙂 

I agree, texting is amazing, it’s going to totally save me. I’m grateful he’s been sharing his busy morning with me. 

[MEmama]

20 hours ago, Dmmetler said:

The first grocery trip was really hard on me because there were so many things I didn't need to buy. The shopping cart just felt so empty. 

 

20 hours ago, Kassia said:

For me it was the last one.  I cried when I bought milk when I realized it didn't matter what the sell by date was - they'd be gone before any of the dates on the cartons (twins).  

 

9 hours ago, J-rap said:

I can totally relate that.  Our first to leave was our only son, and he ate so much!  And was pretty picky about what he wanted.  It was so different not having to think about that while shopping...

Yes! No more milk or mushrooms or Gatorade or chicken sausages…
 

Maybe I can actually keep cheese around now…and maybe there won’t be as many *empty* boxes put back in the pantry??! (DH no longer has anyone else to blame…lol)

[MEmama]

8 hours ago, BakersDozen said:

On 8/22 I didn't think I would make it. I could not breathe. I could not think. I could not stop crying. One of the dearest people I have ever known (dd18) left for school across the country - this is a girl I miss like crazy if she's gone for a weekend! It was beyond hard.

It's way more fun bringing babies home than watching them "fly" from the nest.

Sending you lots of mama hugs!!

As exciting as it is (and should be) for the kids, this is HARD from the other side! 

[skimomma]

Hugs!  We moved our only dc into the dorms two weeks ago and I was a mess.  And this is only 2 miles down the road!  It is the little things like different meal prep and how much less hair gets stuck in the shower drain that remind me each day.  I also have a very sad and lonely cat that misses her person terribly.  Even though we are just down the road, we have agreed to not see each other in person due to Covid since the school does not have a vaccine mandate. We might as well be on different continents.  But I do know it is NOT the same as launching a kid so far away! 

[bibiche]

21 minutes ago, MEmama said:

…and maybe there won’t be as many *empty* boxes put back in the pantry??! 

If it would provide comfort, I am more than happy to supply you regularly with empty cartons as well as jars stuck back in the fridge with 1/16th of a teaspoon of their content remaining. 😉 

[MEmama]

35 minutes ago, bibiche said:

If it would provide comfort, I am more than happy to supply you regularly with empty cartons as well as jars stuck back in the fridge with 1/16th of a teaspoon of their content remaining. 😉 

Oh yes, DS gives me a hard time I I try to recycle a food container that has the teeniest amount of food remains. He practically licks them clean (so yep, lots of empty containers in the fridge!). 😂

 

[MEmama]

1 hour ago, skimomma said:

Hugs!  We moved our only dc into the dorms two weeks ago and I was a mess.  And this is only 2 miles down the road!  It is the little things like different meal prep and how much less hair gets stuck in the shower drain that remind me each day.  I also have a very sad and lonely cat that misses her person terribly.  Even though we are just down the road, we have agreed to not see each other in person due to Covid since the school does not have a vaccine mandate. We might as well be on different continents.  But I do know it is NOT the same as launching a kid so far away! 

Oh that might be much harder to have her so close and not be able to see her! 😞 

Big hugs!

[UmmIbrahim]

Thank you for this thread (loved crying through those poems!). I've been having a hard time to adjusting to not having my oldest at home. I didn't realize quite how hard it was going to be! Having my two younger sons still here is helping some, but DH and the other boys are not outwardly as sad as I am, so I've been more private about my feelings.

Thus far, the best coping strategy for me has been to have the "Find My" app to show me my son's location at any time. It's fairly accurate on his campus, so I can see when he's going for dining, when he's in his dorm, when he's at various classes (I can even see that he's been attending all of his 8:30 AM classes, lol!), etc. Knowing vaguely where he is has made me feel a lot better, and it scratches my "where is my child" itch without my needing to text him excessively. We always homeschooled and the only time he was ever away from home was a 2 week summer program. So having one of my flock gone has been such a huge adjustment. Of course it is hard for everyone, but I think that the homeschooling component and ALWAYS being around them is a difficult thing to lose. It also helps that I can tell that he's having the time of his life in so many ways, so I'm trying to keep that in mind.

Hang in there and take heart in knowing that you are definitely not alone. It sounds like your DS is already doing a great job of giving updates so that you can share his excitement in the experience, so that's a great thing!

[Dmmetler]

Yes on the sad cat. We also moved L's snake out to the family room because he was out, looking around, and I think he just plain missed having someone in the bedroom. 

[Dmmetler]

Just now, UmmIbrahim said:

Thank you for this thread (loved crying through those poems!). I've been having a hard time to adjusting to not having my oldest at home. I didn't realize quite how hard it was going to be! Having my two younger sons still here is helping some, but DH and the other boys are not outwardly as sad as I am, so I've been more private about my feelings.

Thus far, the best coping strategy for me has been to have the "Find My" app to show me my son's location at any time. It's fairly accurate on his campus, so I can see when he's going for dining, when he's in his dorm, when he's at various classes (I can even see that he's been attending all of his 8:30 AM classes, lol!), etc. Knowing vaguely where he is has made me feel a lot better, and it scratches my "where is my child" itch without my needing to text him excessively. We always homeschooled and the only time he was ever away from home was a 2 week summer program. So having one of my flock gone has been such a huge adjustment. Of course it is hard for everyone, but I think that the homeschooling component and ALWAYS being around them is a difficult thing to lose. It also helps that I can tell that he's having the time of his life in so many ways, so I'm trying to keep that in mind.

Hang in there and take heart in knowing that you are definitely not alone. It sounds like your DS is already doing a great job of giving updates so that you can share his excitement in the experience, so that's a great thing!

I check L's last active time on FB Messenger :)

 

[MEmama]

40 minutes ago, Dmmetler said:

I check L's last active time on FB Messenger 🙂

 

We’ll be able to at least track where he runs on Strava. 🙂 Otherwise he keeps location off on his phone. 

[freesia]

((Hugs))

We are just about ready.  We switched dd's packing to suitcases instead of the trunk, her covid test was negative (so thankful, it was the least controllable variable--would the test come back in time? Was she somehow asymptomatic?).  The only variable making me nervous now is the flooding in NYC,  It looks like we can get to LaGuardia tomorrow. I don't see any road closures today. Fingers crossed.

Were you able to go into the airport with him?  I don't see anything that says that we can't go with her to check in at the baggage counter.

[MEmama]

2 hours ago, freesia said:

((Hugs))

We are just about ready.  We switched dd's packing to suitcases instead of the trunk, her covid test was negative (so thankful, it was the least controllable variable--would the test come back in time? Was she somehow asymptomatic?).  The only variable making me nervous now is the flooding in NYC,  It looks like we can get to LaGuardia tomorrow. I don't see any road closures today. Fingers crossed.

Were you able to go into the airport with him?  I don't see anything that says that we can't go with her to check in at the baggage counter.

I hope your airport is back to normal tomorrow. 🤞. His flight left before the storm hit, thankfully, but he said a lot of flights were delayed.

We just dropped him off at curb side—I guess I didn’t even think about going in with him. But yes, you should be able to help get her checked in. The Boston airport is always so chaotic that I didn’t have time to break down, so maybe it was for the best. Lol

Im glad to hear her test was negative—I’ll bet that was stressful! We don’t have to test for Ireland (since we are vaxxed) but will to return. I’m definitely nervous—what if we even get a false positive? Eek. Of course I’m glad for the requirement, but yeah, it’s a whole additional layer of stress.

All my best to her on her big adventure—and to you for getting through it! ((HUGS))

 

[freesia]

2 hours ago, MEmama said:

I hope your airport is back to normal tomorrow. 🤞. His flight left before the storm hit, thankfully, but he said a lot of flights were delayed.

We just dropped him off at curb side—I guess I didn’t even think about going in with him. But yes, you should be able to help get her checked in. The Boston airport is always so chaotic that I didn’t have time to break down, so maybe it was for the best. Lol

Im glad to hear her test was negative—I’ll bet that was stressful! We don’t have to test for Ireland (since we are vaxxed) but will to return. I’m definitely nervous—what if we even get a false positive? Eek. Of course I’m glad for the requirement, but yeah, it’s a whole additional layer of stress.

All my best to her on her big adventure—and to you for getting through it! ((HUGS))

 

Re the bolded: Yes! Particularly bc she'd have missed orientation and her first few weeks of class.  So thankful. I also worried if it would come within the 72 hours.

So, I was wrong, there are major road closures on the way to the airport, but dh has found an alternate way.  Of course, everyone else will be using those roads tomorrow.  ACK!

She and I both are planners and tend to stress about the unknown. I'm working on my non-anxious presence thing today.  Fortunately I leave to take younger dd to soccer in half an hour and then we are eating outside with old friends so we will both be distracted.

[MEmama]

14 hours ago, freesia said:

Re the bolded: Yes! Particularly bc she'd have missed orientation and her first few weeks of class.  So thankful. I also worried if it would come within the 72 hours.

So, I was wrong, there are major road closures on the way to the airport, but dh has found an alternate way.  Of course, everyone else will be using those roads tomorrow.  ACK!

She and I both are planners and tend to stress about the unknown. I'm working on my non-anxious presence thing today.  Fortunately I leave to take younger dd to soccer in half an hour and then we are eating outside with old friends so we will both be distracted.

I so get this. DS made us leave before 11 am for the airport, 2 hours away, for a 6 pm flight. Lol 

Good luck getting to the airport. It sounds like (parts of) NYC is a disaster right now! 😞

Thinking of you today.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Hugs to everyone. This new season of life definitely takes time to settle into. 

My youngest started college so now the house can be very quiet. We weren't doing classwork together much senior year, but I miss lunches together, watching what visited the bird feeder, and his invitations to go work out. 

At the same time, I'm loving hearing that he's excited about his new classes and has already gotten involved with a couple groups. 

Hang in there.

[chiguirre]

Dd's been gone for 3 months now. It gets easier as time goes by and we get used to the new normal. What's App is great if you need to use wifi instead of phone or text (for example, if you're overseas and you don't have global minutes or your barracks is in a dead zone). 

I think I spend as much time in substantive conversation with dd as I did when she was home. Of course, there's no more day to day stuff about what I need to buy at the grocery store, but I provide plenty of adulting advice. I've done everything from explain what factors she should consider in selecting a fund for her retirement savings to giving step by step instructions on how to clean a toilet well enough to pass inspection (while at the supermarket deli counter 😜). I've freaked out inwardly while explaining basic hurricane food prep strategies and what to do if there are tornado sirens. I'm embarrassed at how many topics I failed to cover adequately in the 18 years she lived with us, but there's just so much, it's a big world out there. At least I can make up for any deficiencies with a quick text.

[Lanny]

After 17 or 18 months of online courses (after the sudden switch from in-person courses early in 2020) and the isolation, I was so happy to get a WhatsApp text message from DD last night her time.  She was going to go to a movie with some of her classmates in the "Semester Abroad" program in Germany.  Before they went to the movie, they ate Indian food.

So much better than her being alone in her dorm for months last year (our airspace was closed for months, so she couldn't come home during May 2020 because the airline had to cancel the flight, and she  had to wait until November 2020) and was in front of her laptop hours each day. 

ETA: There is a "Silver Lining"

Edited September 3, 2021 by Lanny
added ETA

[MEmama]

2 hours ago, chiguirre said:

Dd's been gone for 3 months now. It gets easier as time goes by and we get used to the new normal. What's App is great if you need to use wifi instead of phone or text (for example, if you're overseas and you don't have global minutes or your barracks is in a dead zone). 

I think I spend as much time in substantive conversation with dd as I did when she was home. Of course, there's no more day to day stuff about what I need to buy at the grocery store, but I provide plenty of adulting advice. I've done everything from explain what factors she should consider in selecting a fund for her retirement savings to giving step by step instructions on how to clean a toilet well enough to pass inspection (while at the supermarket deli counter 😜). I've freaked out inwardly while explaining basic hurricane food prep strategies and what to do if there are tornado sirens. I'm embarrassed at how many topics I failed to cover adequately in the 18 years she lived with us, but there's just so much, it's a big world out there. At least I can make up for any deficiencies with a quick text.

DS promised me he would watch a YouTube video on how to clean a toilet. 😂 I'm glad I’m not the only one who failed to teach some basic adulting skills! Lol

I'm seriously impressed with how much he’s already figured out. The kid's gonna be alright. 🙂 

[freesia]

Well, we dropped dd at the airport this morning.  All the roads we needed were open and there was little traffic (probably people staying home in general with subways and trains down and roads closed and now folks are used to tele-communting. I don't know.

Anyway, there was a sign that said the terminal was for passengers only.  Apparently NYC has rubbed off on me bc I took one look at dd's stressed face and walked my vaxxed Kn95ed masked self in to show her the kiosk where she could print her baggage sticker things and where to drop off the bags and where the sign to the gates was and to point at the check in people and tell her to go there if she had any trouble all. From the time she was born until she was 4 we flew across North America at least twice  a year.  Since then she has only flown once right before Covid shut everything down. So, she feels insecure (but she is so independent and brave!)

She did text before she took her first flight to clarify things.  I think she's on her lay over now. 

I only slept 4 hours last night and am tired and a bit stressed, but have only been a little teary.

[MEmama]

36 minutes ago, freesia said:

Well, we dropped dd at the airport this morning.  All the roads we needed were open and there was little traffic (probably people staying home in general with subways and trains down and roads closed and now folks are used to tele-communting. I don't know.

Anyway, there was a sign that said the terminal was for passengers only.  Apparently NYC has rubbed off on me bc I took one look at dd's stressed face and walked my vaxxed Kn95ed masked self in to show her the kiosk where she could print her baggage sticker things and where to drop off the bags and where the sign to the gates was and to point at the check in people and tell her to go there if she had any trouble all. From the time she was born until she was 4 we flew across North America at least twice  a year.  Since then she has only flown once right before Covid shut everything down. So, she feels insecure (but she is so independent and brave!)

She did text before she took her first flight to clarify things.  I think she's on her lay over now. 

I only slept 4 hours last night and am tired and a bit stressed, but have only been a little teary.

I’m glad you decided to show her what her to do. Airports can be intimidating in the best of times. It takes serious moxie to fly across the country (and then to another one) by oneself! She should feel proud of herself.

Hope you can take all the space (and eat all the chocolate/drink all the wine) you need tonight.