I DON'T WANT TO. (venty vent vent)

[Noreen Claire]

I just got the fourth (fifth?) email from the city soccer league saying that both my 7yr old and 4yr old's teams don't have coaches. The season is supposed to start in two weeks! I am mom and teacher. I am with them all.day.long.every.damn.day.already. I don't want to have to volunteer to coach as well. (Insert unhappy angry guttural scream here.)

My husband won't do it. He likes to cheer from the sidelines loudly, but he won't volunteer; he's already go two jobs. I will have three kids in soccer, on different nights/days (that I don't know yet - so I can't sign them up for music or swim yet - that's a whole different source of aggravation!) Plus, DS12 is going to start in the referee training program. I'm already busy! AND!!!! I don't know anything about soccer!

*whispers* I don't even enjoy watching soccer. 

I'm going to have to volunteer and I'm pissed about it. grumble grumble grumble....

</rant>

[ktgrok]

You do NOT have to volunteer. And given what you said, you are overloaded already and should not volunteer. 

[elegantlion]

"No" is a full & complete sentence. 

[Noreen Claire]

5 minutes ago, ktgrok said:

You do NOT have to volunteer. And given what you said, you are overloaded already and should not volunteer. 

 

4 minutes ago, elegantlion said:

"No" is a full & complete sentence. 

But if no one else volunteers, they will not play. They have no other socialization with other kids (not including family) besides outdoor sports, due to covid. I will have horrible guilt, and unhappy kids. How can I say no?

[Terabith]

Yeah, you definitely should not volunteer.  

It's possible they won't be able to play soccer, but that's not the end of the world at 4 and 7.  You have entirely too much going on.  

[Frances]

1 minute ago, Noreen Claire said:

 

But if no one else volunteers, they will not play. They have no other socialization with other kids (not including family) besides outdoor sports, due to covid. I will have horrible guilt, and unhappy kids. How can I say no?

But what about the music and swim you mentioned? Won’t they socialize there just as much or as little as at soccer?

[ktgrok]

1 minute ago, Noreen Claire said:

 

But if no one else volunteers, they will not play. They have no other socialization with other kids (not including family) besides outdoor sports, due to covid. I will have horrible guilt, and unhappy kids. How can I say no?

1. No 4 yr old needs sports. In fact, many sports organizations suggest age 6 as the earliest to start. 

2. Playgrounds work just fine, vs organized sports. No coach needed. 

3. You mentioned music and swimming?  

4. Lots of kids are not even doing outdoor sports, and no socializing at all other than family. They are surviving. Reread Little House books if need be, lol. 

 

[Noreen Claire]

2 minutes ago, Frances said:

But what about the music and swim you mentioned? Won’t they socialize there just as much or as little as at soccer?

Music is private, and swim will likely be semi-private (so, only them), because the classes are all filling up already.

[Spryte]

That would be a hard No here.  
 

You’re already overbooked.  Someone else will do it, and if they don’t … your kids will survive.
 

Having a mom who is not completely burnt out is a good thing.

[theelfqueen]

You do NOT have to volunteer. You do have to accept that someone else might not either. But it may just not come together. 

[Noreen Claire]

I know that I can say "no". I just really wanted them to have this time with someone else in charge of them for an hour. It's good for them. And for me!

I'm just moody today. (this week? preimenopause and a heat wave do not go together. hurrumph.)

[Noreen Claire]

3 minutes ago, Spryte said:

Having a mom who is not completely burnt out is a good thing.

This is a good pint.

[mommyoffive]

Just now, Noreen Claire said:

This is a good pint.

Let that be your sticking point.   They don't need it this year.  Sign them up for more swim lessons and enjoy your time where someone else is in charge.  That was always my sanity time.  Take them to the park or play outside with friends when it works for you for their socializing.  Although I bet they play with each other enough they would be fine at home, if that works better for you. 

All signs are pointing to no.

[elegantlion]

6 minutes ago, Noreen Claire said:

I know that I can say "no". I just really wanted them to have this time with someone else in charge of them for an hour. It's good for them. And for me!

I'm just moody today. (this week? preimenopause and a heat wave do not go together. hurrumph.)

I totally understand that one! I do hope someone else volunteers. 

[Spryte]

10 minutes ago, Noreen Claire said:

I know that I can say "no". I just really wanted them to have this time with someone else in charge of them for an hour. It's good for them. And for me!

I totally get it.  
 

(So volunteering to take the fall on this isn’t going to get you all what you need anyway, right?)

 

But if you do it, I’ll totally cheer you on!  

 

 

 

[Not_a_Number]

You should say no. 

And if you feel guilty, think about organizing something else for their socializing. Something that you, you know, actually like 😉 .

[fairfarmhand]

Maybe pay a teenager (or another mom) to take them to the park once or twice a week. Even if you drop them off and pick them up, you would get that time to yourself.

[theelfqueen]

1 hour ago, Noreen Claire said:

This is a good pint.

Perhaps you are in need of a good pint? 

Edited August 14, 2021 by theelfqueen

[Kanin]

28 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

Maybe pay a teenager (or another mom) to take them to the park once or twice a week. Even if you drop them off and pick them up, you would get that time to yourself.

This is what I was thinking, too.

[Spryte]

35 minutes ago, theelfqueen said:

Perhaps you are in need of a good pint? 

I hear Kraken rum is good in coffee, if a pint is not your thing.  😁

[TheReader]

1 hour ago, Noreen Claire said:

I know that I can say "no". I just really wanted them to have this time with someone else in charge of them for an hour. It's good for them. And for me!

I'm just moody today. (this week? preimenopause and a heat wave do not go together. hurrumph.)

As others have said, if you step up and volunteer, then they won't be getting what you state right here is part of the goal -- time with someone else in charge. 

say no. Guilt free. I promise you they'll survive. And if "someone else in charge for an hour" ends up being a weekly movie/TV night, so be it. 

[Selkie]

Don’t do it. Preserve your sanity. My dh and I spent SO much time coaching our kids’ sports because no one else would volunteer. Looking back now that my kids are grown, I wish I would have spent all those hours doing something else - something enjoyable that didn’t involve dealing with other people’s kids and worst of all, other parents. It is easy to get burned out coaching, so I would not recommend it unless it is something you really want to do.

[Soror]

Nope, not at those ages. If they don't get volunteers I'd just let it go. Look for other things to do, as people have said. 

[Lori D.]

13 hours ago, Noreen Claire said:

...I just really wanted them to have this time with someone else in charge of them for an hour...

- Parks & Rec classes?
- Drop off at grandma's or other relative for a visit one afternoon a week?
- Pay someone to take them/watch them play at the park for an hour or two 2x/week?
- Pay a teen to come in the afternoons 2x/week and play games and do outside activities with them?
- A neighborhood trade -- schedule 1-2x/week where they go play with the neighbor kids, and then 1-2x/week where the neighbor kids come play with them?
- Dad takes them every Saturday afternoon for a guys outing? (hike, fishing, Home Depot walk-through, go for ice cream, throw a ball around at the park, ride bikes in the neighborhood...)