Surrendering a pet that is not yours

[crazyforlatin]

I'm asking for a friend.

His puppy was surrendered without his knowledge. The roommate took a copy of his ID, signed a letter for him, and brought the pet to the animal control.

The intention behind the surrender is complicated. The roommate was worried for the 80 year old who was sick and couldn’t handle the puppy. He complained he was going to die due to taking care of the puppy. The owner was willing to give it away but wasn't aware it would be a situation where he could never visit or take it back.

What is the recourse for the pet owner? Animal Control was supposed to call to verify since the pet is registered with owner contact information on file, but no one called. Should they have asked for a power of attorney in its verification?

[gardenmom5]

The roommate took a copy of his ID, signed a letter for him,

what the roommate did was fraud. He pretended to be his roommate - he signed a legal document using his roommates name - his intentions are irrelevant, it was fraudulent.

I would start with the Police and filing a report.  Then deliver an actual letter to that animal control location that the dog was fraudulently surrendered and they could be held liable.

eta: if he claimed to be acting in behalf of the owner, and using the owners ID - it is still fraud.

Edited August 6, 2021 by gardenmom5

[crazyforlatin]

The reason I mention complicated is that the owner was also, unfortunately, verbally abusive to the puppy. But he is old and he has his own version of reality.

[Selkie]

56 minutes ago, crazyforlatin said:

The reason I mention complicated is that the owner was also, unfortunately, verbally abusive to the puppy. But he is old and he has his own version of reality.

Since the owner was abusive, I would not help him get the puppy back.

[MercyA]

13 hours ago, crazyforlatin said:

The reason I mention complicated is that the owner was also, unfortunately, verbally abusive to the puppy. But he is old and he has his own version of reality.

Ah, so hard.

No animal should be verbally abused. Dogs are super sensitive to things like that.

Are you able to work with the owner to find a new home for the puppy where he can visit?

I don't think the puppy should go back to the owner, but some Animal Control shelters have a high kill rate, even for puppies.

Edited August 7, 2021 by MercyA

[crazyforlatin]

1 minute ago, MercyA said:

Ah, so hard.

No animal should be verbally abused. Dogs are super sensitive to things like that.

Are you able to work with the owner to find a new home for the puppy where he can visit?

I don't think the puppy should go back to the owner, but some Animal Control shelters have a high kill rate, even for puppies.

He’s threatening to commit suicide, but the only thing stopping him is that he is a Christian. He does have another puppy and due to his mental condition over the surrendered puppy (a pit bull), he’s also verbally abusive to this pit bull because this dog is just a reminder of what he has lost. It’s a horrible mess. 
 

I don’t know what happens to a dog especially a pit bull that has an owner like this. Will it become violent towards the other roommates? 
 

[crazyforlatin]

8 minutes ago, MercyA said:

Ah, so hard.

No animal should be verbally abused. Dogs are super sensitive to things like that.

Are you able to work with the owner to find a new home for the puppy where he can visit?

I don't think the puppy should go back to the owner, but some Animal Control shelters have a high kill rate, even for puppies.

Forgot to mention that once a dog is surrendered, Animal Control puts it up for adoption. There’s a no kill rule in our county. A family adopted the puppy within a few days. They will not reveal the names of the owner. 

[Innisfree]

It sounds like he needs mental health evaluation. Is there any way to make that happen? Are you physically close to him? Can you contact his doctor? Whether or not the doctor can talk to you, you can explain your concerns to the doctor.

I would *not* bring another animal into this situation. Hard as it is, it might be just as well the other puppy is no longer available. 

Depending on what you find about possibilities for an urgent mental health evaluation, I would be open to removing the second dog.* That treatment will do lasting harm to the dog.

Poor guy. He does sound so miserable, and I'm sorry the situation is so bad. If he could treat it kindly and appropriately meet its needs, a dog could be great for him, but a pit bull puppy doesn't sound like a good match for an eighty year old.

*This would obviously be tricky. Maybe talk with him about finding a different home for the dog? ☹️

Edited August 7, 2021 by Innisfree
Autocorrect has no idea how to handle apostrophes

[Selkie]

19 minutes ago, crazyforlatin said:

He’s threatening to commit suicide, but the only thing stopping him is that he is a Christian. He does have another puppy and due to his mental condition over the surrendered puppy (a pit bull), he’s also verbally abusive to this pit bull because this dog is just a reminder of what he has lost. It’s a horrible mess. 
 

I don’t know what happens to a dog especially a pit bull that has an owner like this. Will it become violent towards the other roommates? 
 

The puppy needs to be taken away from him ASAP. I would be figuring out how to make that happen. Yes, the roommate committed fraud, but good for him/her for protecting an innocent creature who was being tormented. Glad to hear the first puppy found a new family, and I hope the second one is as lucky.

[gardenmom5]

Depression is common in older adults. (for a variety of reasons - diet is common). Is anyone trying to help him with that?  has anyone expressed concern to his dr?  which would be a win-win for everyone.

[crazyforlatin]

21 minutes ago, Innisfree said:

It sounds like he needs mental health evaluation. Is there any way to make that happen? Are you physically close to him? Can you contact his doctor? Whether or not the doctor can talk to you, you can explain your concerns to the doctor.

I would *not* bring another animal into this situation. Hard as it is, it might be just as well the other puppy is no longer available. 

Depending on what you find about possibilities for an urgent mental health evaluation, I would be open to removing the second dog.* That treatment will do lasting harm to the dog.

Poor guy. He does sound so miserable, and I'm sorry the situation is so bad. If he could treat it kindly and appropriately meet its needs, a dog could be great for him, but a pit bull puppy doesn't sound like a good match for an eighty year old.

*This would obviously be tricky. Maybe talk with him about finding a different home for the dog? ☹️

I tried, and there’s no way he’s giving it up. And it wouldn’t be good to give it to a family at this point. The pit bull is getting aggressive and needs training or evaluation at a shelter. 

I don’t know what this condition is called where a person changes the reality of a situation. He simply either is lying or can’t remember how he felt towards the surrendered puppy. He was very sick and the roommate was taking care of him. He would tell us that he could die because of the puppy. But whatever is happening, he truly believes that he never was sick, we’re lying to him, and that the puppy was the best thing to ever happen to him. If somehow we get him to give up this puppy, I already know his reality of  what is happening now will be different a few months.

 

[crazyforlatin]

27 minutes ago, Innisfree said:

It sounds like he needs mental health evaluation. Is there any way to make that happen? Are you physically close to him? Can you contact his doctor? Whether or not the doctor can talk to you, you can explain your concerns to the doctor.

I would *not* bring another animal into this situation. Hard as it is, it might be just as well the other puppy is no longer available. 

Depending on what you find about possibilities for an urgent mental health evaluation, I would be open to removing the second dog.* That treatment will do lasting harm to the dog.

Poor guy. He does sound so miserable, and I'm sorry the situation is so bad. If he could treat it kindly and appropriately meet its needs, a dog could be great for him, but a pit bull puppy doesn't sound like a good match for an eighty year old.

*This would obviously be tricky. Maybe talk with him about finding a different home for the dog? ☹️

I should have mentioned I can’t even persuade him to get the vaccine. Any mention of it gets me an hour of politics. He’s very conservative in his politics and any mention of mental evaluation is going to him into a rage. 

[crazyforlatin]

15 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said:

Depression is common in older adults. (for a variety of reasons - diet is common). Is anyone trying to help him with that?  has anyone expressed concern to his dr?  which would be a win-win for everyone.

I think what has happened is that he can’t go to church. They wanted him to mask up and he refused. He needs to be in fellowship and in a prayer group. He will put on a mask to shop but not for church. I don’t know what he’s trying to prove to his fellow Christians. 

[Innisfree]

The puppy needs to go, asap. In the situation you're describing, @Selkie is right.

Is this a relative? Does anyone have power of attorney?

[gardenmom5]

3 minutes ago, crazyforlatin said:

I think what has happened is that he can’t go to church. They wanted him to mask up and he refused. He needs to be in fellowship and in a prayer group. He will put on a mask to shop but not for church. I don’t know what he’s trying to prove to his fellow Christians. 

do they have a zoom/skype type option?

[Innisfree]

You don't have to mention a mental evaluation to him. For a start, tell his doctor what's happening.

[prairiewindmomma]

Gently, not being able to go to church doesn’t make one abusive, suicidal, or gaslight the past. It may contribute to his mood, but there are lots of mentally well people not able to go to church right now. 

To me, based on my experiences with elderly people, I would guess you are looking at some of the moodiness that comes with dementia combined with a bit of depression. 
 

Are you in a position to be able to talk to his care provider?

[Faith-manor]

Honestly, if he has indicated suicidal ideation, you can call 911 and say that the elder has altered mental status and indicated he is out of touch with reality and may hurt himself. Ask them to alert the police that there is an aggressive animal in the house, but emphasize that he needs medical treatment not law enforcement. In my state, police will go along but let the medics handle it if they can, otherwise they can give permission to the medics to force the patient to the hospital for a psyche hold. Then they can call animal control and have the dog picked up. To me, it sounds like this person really is unstable enough to require this intervention. It may also have an easily treatable cause. UTI's in elderly folks can cause some very serious altered mental status. BTDT with my own father and ended up with a police officer and two medics strapping him to a gurney. IV antibiotics and he was stabilized within 24 hrs.

[Faith-manor]

One caveat though. EMS and state laws can be different between regions so maybe confirm that it works this way where he is. I know some places have had some pretty tragic stuff happen when police deal with mentally ill people. In my area, we have had good luck with the set up.

[crazyforlatin]

He presents himself as an intelligent, sharp, stable person. It’s only a select few he rants to. I don’t know what this is, but it feels very much like he’s manipulating people, me included. But it could be dementia and depression and more, and if we don’t mention puppies, he’s a very reasonable person. I do know that he has anger problems. The puppy has chewed up a phone charger and 3 of his wallets. Those incidents have set him off in a terrible rage each time.

[Shoeless]

This issue is bigger than the puppy that was turned over to animal control. I can't tell from your posts whether the owner or the roommate was saying the puppy was trying to kill him.  None of that is normal. Either the dog is a problem and was actually causing harm, (and then it was correct to surrender to animal control who could evaluate and adopt out to a qualified home), or someone is not mentally stable and is projecting some weird stuff onto the dog. 

I would start making inquiries with adult protective services to see what can be done for this guy.  This guy shouldn't have animals, period. He doesn't sound mentally well and he's abusive toward the dogs. I would not be helping him try to get the first dog back. 

Edited August 7, 2021 by MissLemon

[prairiewindmomma]

39 minutes ago, crazyforlatin said:

He presents himself as an intelligent, sharp, stable person. It’s only a select few he rants to. I don’t know what this is, but it feels very much like he’s manipulating people, me included. But it could be dementia and depression and more, and if we don’t mention puppies, he’s a very reasonable person. I do know that he has anger problems. The puppy has chewed up a phone charger and 3 of his wallets. Those incidents have set him off in a terrible rage each time.

Is it saraha whose MiL has been unwell? You might try to find her recent thread history. A MIL was acting very manipulative and grouchy and we suggested dementia and the poster didn’t think that was a possibility—that MIL was just being oddly manipulative. It progressed with fears of separation, feeling like she was being watched, and being upset about this or the other. Finally it became clear that dementia was at play. Things blew up spectacularly and MIL had to go to the hospital.

My point is, he could still be coping enough in the early stages that you are just seeing the lack of emotional regulation at times. It doesn’t mean that there isn’t something wrong. It also doesn’t mean that a dog is safe with him. You can hold it together part of the time and then be really not ok at other times. The anger is worrisome. 

 

[crazyforlatin]

Did I mention he has 10 cats? 

[Spryte]

I’m so sorry.  This sounds like a very unhealthy situation. For him, for animals.  And it’s much, much bigger than the puppy situation. The suicidal ideation is very worrying.  All of it is.

Just sending some empathy, as I have an elder who suffers from severe depression.  It’s hard.  Fortunately mine is compliant with getting help and meds.    I wish it could be that way with yours, too.

[Spryte]

Have you considered calling adult protective services?  About the dog, and the mental health component, too, and now … the 10 cats. 

[gardenmom5]

4 hours ago, crazyforlatin said:

I tried, and there’s no way he’s giving it up. And it wouldn’t be good to give it to a family at this point. The pit bull is getting aggressive and needs training or evaluation at a shelter. 

I don’t know what this condition is called where a person changes the reality of a situation. He simply either is lying or can’t remember how he felt towards the surrendered puppy. He was very sick and the roommate was taking care of him. He would tell us that he could die because of the puppy. But whatever is happening, he truly believes that he never was sick, we’re lying to him, and that the puppy was the best thing to ever happen to him. If somehow we get him to give up this puppy, I already know his reality of  what is happening now will be different a few months.

 

Is this behavior new?  (with the changing perspective/forgetting what's "inconvenient"?)

This could be a sign of dementia.  If the impatience with the puppy is something he didn't previously display, it could also be a sign of dementia.  Or depression for both.   The social isolation has been very hard for people who need to get out.

[crazyforlatin]

30 minutes ago, Spryte said:

Have you considered calling adult protective services?  About the dog, and the mental health component, too, and now … the 10 cats. 

The way he interacts with the outside world is not a reflection of any possible mental illness or anger management problem. He’s sociable, talkative, and in fact, a kind person at heart. Objectively I don’t think anyone would conclude he needs their services. And I’m not in a position to counter that. He already feels deep betrayal and hurt from a couple of us who have brought up the puppy issue.

He only requests that we find an attorney to sue everyone involved. When he does talk about the puppy, he’s a completely different person, someone I don’t recognize and someone that says things that are in complete opposition with his faith. When he’s angry, he accuses us of being evil and that we’re going to hell.
 

 

 

[crazyforlatin]

Just now, gardenmom5 said:

Is this behavior new?  (with the changing perspective/forgetting what's "inconvenient"?)

This could be a sign of dementia.  If the impatience with the puppy is something he didn't previously display, it could also be a sign of dementia.  Or depression for both.   The social isolation has been very hard for people who need to get out.

That’s the saddest part. I suspected dementia in the beginning, but his memory of certain events is so clear. Yet with the puppy issue, the way he tells it is completely different. But with any other past event, he remembers almost everything. 
 

 

[gardenmom5]

1 hour ago, prairiewindmomma said:

Is it saraha whose MiL has been unwell? You might try to find her recent thread history. A MIL was acting very manipulative and grouchy and we suggested dementia and the poster didn’t think that was a possibility—that MIL was just being oddly manipulative. It progressed with fears of separation, feeling like she was being watched, and being upset about this or the other. Finally it became clear that dementia was at play. Things blew up spectacularly and MIL had to go to the hospital.

My point is, he could still be coping enough in the early stages that you are just seeing the lack of emotional regulation at times. It doesn’t mean that there isn’t something wrong. It also doesn’t mean that a dog is safe with him. You can hold it together part of the time and then be really not ok at other times. The anger is worrisome. 

 

Mil did that.  She was living at sil's in her own 'apartment".  Sil is on three acres, the next house is NOT close.  Mil insisted the neighbors were spying on her, and they cut down trees so they could spy on her.  (it was winter.  they were deciduous trees.  I'm not the only one who tried to explain that to her).   Then there was the night sil had someone in her house, attempting to call her.  Mil had called the sheriff because someone had stuck a gun through her french doors (zero evidence), and the sheriff's deputies wanted sil to know what was going on, and that everything was OK . . . .   and mil - who had always tried to be part of everything. . . and I *mean* "everything", was suddenly closing all her drapes and not wanting to go anywhere.  Dementia . . . 

[crazyforlatin]

Just now, gardenmom5 said:

Mil did that.  She was living at sil's in her own 'apartment".  Sil is on three acres, the next house is NOT close.  Mil insisted the neighbors were spying on her, and they cut down trees so they could spy on her.  (it was winter.  they were deciduous trees.  I'm not the only one who tried to explain that to her).   Then there was the night sil had someone in her house, attempting to call her.  Mil had called the sheriff because someone had stuck a gun through her french doors (zero evidence), and the sheriff's deputies wanted sil to know what was going on, and that everything was OK . . . .   and mil - who had always tried to be part of everything. . . and I *mean* "everything", was suddenly closing all her drapes and not wanting to go anywhere.  Dementia . . . 

Then it sounds like my friend is heading down that road. He says the entire world is against him, but only when the puppy comes up in conversation. He truly becomes a different person. I don’t understand how this one thing, and it is a big thing to him, can trigger a different personality. His faith is very important to him, but he curses and threatens to kill whenever that topic arises. 

[gardenmom5]

1 minute ago, crazyforlatin said:

That’s the saddest part. I suspected dementia in the beginning, but his memory of certain events is so clear. Yet with the puppy issue, the way he tells it is completely different. But with any other past event, he remembers almost everything. 
 

 

I would strongly urge he be evaluated.   I watched my grandmother, my mother, my mother-in-law all go down with dementia.  You wonder about what you're seeing, especially in the early stages.  Sometimes they seem perfectly normal, and other times you wonder what is going on.

 

[gardenmom5]

1 minute ago, crazyforlatin said:

Then it sounds like my friend is heading down that road. He says the entire world is against him, but only when the puppy comes up in conversation. He truly becomes a different person. I don’t understand how this one thing, and it is a big thing to him, can trigger a different personality. His faith is very important to him, but he curses and threatens to kill whenever that topic arises. 

That should be a definitive sign that something is wrong in his brain!  

[crazyforlatin]

Just now, gardenmom5 said:

I would strongly urge he be evaluated.   I watched my grandmother, my mother, my mother-in-law all go down with dementia.  You wonder about what you're seeing, especially in the early stages.  Sometimes they seem perfectly normal, and other times you wonder what is going on.

 

I’m very sorry, it’s a helpless feeling to witness it. And to even bring it up can cause a melt down, in my friend’s case.

[crazyforlatin]

And the roommate will not contest it, if he is arrested, he will not mention any verbal abuse, he will admit he committed fraud, to avoid further damage to our friend. 

[gardenmom5]

2 minutes ago, crazyforlatin said:

And the roommate will not contest it, if he is arrested, he will not mention any verbal abuse, he will admit he committed fraud, to avoid further damage to our friend. 

He should mention the possibly the friend is developing dementia.  Not so much as defense, but in hope he would be evaluated to be in a safe place for himself.  - if he really is developing dementia, he's going to need care to be safe, and he's likely going to object. (especially if it's that part of the brain being adversely affected.)  If that's what it takes to keep him safe, him being angry doesn't make it wrong.

i will always remember the night I sat in the ER with a child, and a middle age man came in with his elderly mother.  She was positively vile in the things she said to him. She spoke loudly, so even on the far side of the waiting area, her voice carried clearly.  He was always quiet and soft spoken with her.  She was polite to the drs.  They got her back fairly quickly - and she spoke nicely to the doctors, but after she came back out with him - oh my.  I don't know if I would have had the patience.  It was obvious she had the "nasty" type of dementia.  

I've a friend who cared for her mil, - who was similar.  She was also caring for her profoundly disabled from birth son. (he had the sweetest spirit.) She would tolerate whatever abuse she was going to be subjected to, but she drew the line and "let God know" if her mil went after her disabled son, the mil would find herself parked in a nursing home the next day.  He was *the only one*, who was not subjected to her abuse.

[crazyforlatin]

2 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said:

He should mention the possibly the friend is developing dementia.  Not so much as defense, but in hope he would be evaluated to be in a safe place for himself.  - if he really is developing dementia, he's going to need care to be safe, and he's likely going to object. (especially if it's that part of the brain being adversely affected.)  If that's what it takes to keep him safe, him being angry doesn't make it wrong.

i will always remember the night I sat in the ER with a child, and a middle age man came in with his elderly mother.  She was positively vile in the things she said to him. She spoke loudly, so even on the far side of the waiting area, her voice carried clearly.  He was always quiet and soft spoken with her.  She was polite to the drs.  They got her back fairly quickly - and she spoke nicely to the doctors, but after she came back out with him - oh my.  I don't know if I would have had the patience.  It was obvious she had the "nasty" type of dementia.  

I've a friend who cared for her mil, - who was similar.  She was also caring for her profoundly disabled from birth son. (he had the sweetest spirit.) She would tolerate whatever abuse she was going to be subjected to, but she drew the line and "let God know" if her mil went after her disabled son, the mil would find herself parked in a nursing home the next day.  He was *the only one*, who was not subjected to her abuse.

If Dd brings up the puppy issue, he stays calm and doesn’t curse nor scream at her. He’s very polite and caring. This is what confuses me, he selects who to verbally abuse. 

[Innisfree]

Dementia can be hard to recognize at first.

Whatever this is, dementia or some other problem, he needs qualified medical intervention immediately. If it's something like a UTI, it can be treated. There are some treatments for early dementia, as well, though they just slow the progression. The situation as it is sounds increasingly unstable and dangerous. 

3 hours ago, crazyforlatin said:

I do know that he has anger problems. The puppy has chewed up a phone charger and 3 of his wallets. Those incidents have set him off in a terrible rage each time.

 

1 hour ago, crazyforlatin said:

The way he interacts with the outside world is not a reflection of any possible mental illness or anger management problem. He’s sociable, talkative, and in fact, a kind person at heart. Objectively I don’t think anyone would conclude he needs their services. And I’m not in a position to counter that. He already feels deep betrayal and hurt from a couple of us who have brought up the puppy issue.

He only requests that we find an attorney to sue everyone involved. When he does talk about the puppy, he’s a completely different person, someone I don’t recognize and someone that says things that are in complete opposition with his faith. When he’s angry, he accuses us of being evil and that we’re going to hell.

 

1 hour ago, crazyforlatin said:

He says the entire world is against him, but only when the puppy comes up in conversation. He truly becomes a different person. I don’t understand how this one thing, and it is a big thing to him, can trigger a different personality. His faith is very important to him, but he curses and threatens to kill whenever that topic arises. 

This is seriously concerning. 

I would talk to his doctor, if you know who that is, on Monday. But unless you can make sure he gets in to see the doctor within the week, and see some results that change the situation (treatment for UTI which resolves the issue, hospitalization, something significant), I'd be inclined to call adult protective services and/or the police, as others have suggested. Right now he's ranting. What if something upsets him enough that he acts out? This isn't a safe situation, for him, or the roommate, or the animals.

[kristin0713]

Long term, he and the roommate and anyone else who enters the house could be in danger from the puppy as it grows and becomes more aggressive. I would do whatever it takes to get the dog out of there. Who is giving him pit bull puppies, anyway?

[Mrs Tiggywinkle]

5 hours ago, crazyforlatin said:

That’s the saddest part. I suspected dementia in the beginning, but his memory of certain events is so clear. Yet with the puppy issue, the way he tells it is completely different. But with any other past event, he remembers almost everything. 
 

 

This is not uncommon in dementia; especially the early stages.  I would call adult protective and animal control.  Tell them both your concerns about his welfare and the safety of the animals, including the abuse. An aggressive puppy that is being abused is likely to turn on him, and especially with a pit bull that can have devastating consequences for everyone.  You need to call the authorities and let them make some determinations.  

[MercyA]

12 hours ago, crazyforlatin said:

Forgot to mention that once a dog is surrendered, Animal Control puts it up for adoption. There’s a no kill rule in our county. A family adopted the puppy within a few days. They will not reveal the names of the owner. 

This makes me really happy. I would not try to help get the puppy back and I might let Animal Control know (if they don't already) that they should never, ever allow this owner to adopt an animal from them. 

I still can't help but feel a little sorry for the former owner--but actions have consequences. 😞

Edited August 7, 2021 by MercyA

[gardenmom5]

50 minutes ago, MercyA said:

This makes me really happy. I would not try to help get the puppy back and I might let Animal Control know (if they don't already) that they should never, ever allow this owner to adopt an animal from them. 

I still can't help but feel a little sorry for the former owner--but actions have consequences. 😞

or in his case - dementia changes things and what a person  is capable of doing.

OP- a UTI would be the best case scenario (and yes, in elderly, it can cause these types of symptoms) as it is relatively treatable.  whereas with dementia, the best case is finding something that slows progression.

[kristin0713]

20 minutes ago, Seasider too said:

ETA I would call adult protective services to report a pet hoarding situation as the inciting incident - observation of dementia will likely follow. Given these further details, I would not report the roommate for fraud. 

This is excellent advice. Pet hoarding,  aggressive puppy, and elderly individual  incapable of seeing the problem / possibly has beginnings of dementia. Reporting is the right thing to do. Otherwise, it will only get worse from here.

[crazyforlatin]

A few of you mentioned UTI. Can you guys explain why a bladder infection affects his personality or temperament? Due to his age he does have a prostate problem but it’s now under control due to medication.

I’m going to see if he has this condition.

ETA: I see now that UTI presents itself more than just with physical symptoms in old people. 
Even if it’s UTI and he’s healed, his head is clear enough to know he needs his first puppy back. He’s not backing down on this.

Edited August 7, 2021 by crazyforlatin

[crazyforlatin]

1 hour ago, Seasider too said:

Ok it would have been easier for us if you’d given us all the details right up front. 
 

Ten cats, two dogs (one strong and aggressive) and a roommate willing to commit fraud to abate the situation. 
 

Things are very wrong here. 
 

ETA I would call adult protective services to report a pet hoarding situation as the inciting incident - observation of dementia will likely follow. Given these further details, I would not report the roommate for fraud. 

The animal shelter knows he has 10 cats because he registered all of them and has kept up with all their shots. 
 

And it’s not up to me to report the roommate, he has a couple of friends who believe there was elder abuse and racism and are already figuring out how to, as they say, “destroy” the roommate.

I believe my friend is deeply heartbroken. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

2 minutes ago, crazyforlatin said:

The animal shelter knows he has 10 cats because he registered all of them and has kept up with all their shots. 
 

And it’s not up to me to report the roommate, he has a couple of friends who believe there was elder abuse and racism and are already figuring out how to, as they say, “destroy” the roommate.

I believe my friend is deeply heartbroken. 

Once we were given the details, I don't believe that anyone has suggested that you report the roommate.  What we have suggested is that you get those animals and your elderly friend appropriate help.  Feeding his rage and enabling it (like his friends are doing) is not good.  Ignoring his abuse of animals isn't good either no matter how heartbroken he might be. 

[Terabith]

I'm not sure WHY urinary tract infections cause personality changes and dementia symptoms in the elderly, but it's a well known fact that they do.  

[crazyforlatin]

1 minute ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

Once we were given the details, I don't believe that anyone has suggested that you report the roommate.  What we have suggested is that you get those animals and your elderly friend appropriate help.  Feeding his rage and enabling it (like his friends are doing) is not good.  Ignoring his abuse of animals isn't good either no matter how heartbroken he might be. 

I know the roommate so I wouldn’t report him. But my friend is an old family friend, and he’s been calling my mom sobbing every week. They know that he loves children and pets, he prays, he ministers to people, he’s always there to help a friend, and now he’s had his puppy stolen by a person who lives with him, and he’s in pain. It’s hard to ignore all that.
 

I have a dog, so I know any untrained puppy should not live with him. I briefly mentioned that maybe it’s for the best for a puppy to be with people who can keep up with a pit bull.

But my friend suspects the new owners are torturing the puppy and he needs to rescue her. 

[crazyforlatin]

12 minutes ago, Terabith said:

I'm not sure WHY urinary tract infections cause personality changes and dementia symptoms in the elderly, but it's a well known fact that they do.  

I’m glad people mentioned it here because my family members are getting old and I wouldn’t have ever made the connection. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

1 minute ago, crazyforlatin said:

I know the roommate so I wouldn’t report him. But my friend is an old family friend, and he’s been calling my mom sobbing every week. They know that he loves children and pets, he prays, he ministers to people, he’s always there to help a friend, and now he’s had his puppy stolen by a person who lives with him, and he’s in pain. It’s hard to ignore all that.
 

I have a dog, so I know any untrained puppy should not live with him. I briefly mentioned that maybe it’s for the best for a puppy to be with people who can keep up with a pit bull.

But my friend suspects the new owners are torturing the puppy and he needs to rescue her. 

He had the puppy rescued by a person who lives with him.  I realize that the person went about it in a wrong way but the motivation was not to hurt an old man. 

Your friend, no matter how lovely a person he's been, is having disordered thinking.  Paranoid thoughts and rage are not things to be brushed aside even if it's intermittent.  I do agree that it could be early signs of dementia or Alzheimers.  Many elderly can "present well" at first - keeping their symptoms under control most of the time, or perhaps they only happen some of the time. 

[catz]

I had an uncle that had signs of dementia that actually had some sort of nutritional balance issue that was pretty easily corrected too, there are things other than UTI or straight up dementia that can cause issues too.  He was floundering for a long time until his daughter took the bull by the horns and he was able to live well independently for a number of years after that.  So I agree he should be fully evaluated by a doctor.  What a hard situation.