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vent: sick people not staying home


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I am super frustrated right now.  I have friends who have been sick all week with covid symptoms who continued their vacation (photos in the hotel pool, in restaurants, everywhere else) who are now sending their daughter to camp, while she is still symptomatic. They have not done covid testing because if they knew they were positive, they would feel obligated to stay home.

Take that story x10 and you pretty much have half of my facebook feed.

Obviously I know I have no control over their choices.

Obviously I know I should just not look at social media when it's just going to trigger me.

Obviously I know that it's possible they don't have covid, but rather RSV or one of the other viruses going on right now.

But in this moment, I am angry and grieving. Anybody else?

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😢 This is why I'm having to pull back for my unvaccinated kids. People are untrustworthy about this during flu season, and they continue to be now with Covid. I know it sucks to have to cancel things and for your kids to miss out on something due to illness, but not willfully spreading that sucky illness to others seems like Golden Rule 101 to me.

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Ugh. Our camp had the rule if you had been sick with ANYTHING in the last 14 days. If anyone in your household had been sick with anything within the last 14 days. NOT to go and I still had to tell a troopmate whose daughter had just gotten a negative after being sick with COVID and she had just gotten a positive on her test THAT DAY NO you can't send your daughter to camp. Don't call the camp director asking for an exception.

Edited by vonfirmath
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I pretty much don't like most people right now. Bah humbug.

And conversely--DH had a medical procedure this morning, and while I was waiting for him (just a few people in the waiting room, all masked and distanced) I got a little tickle in my throat and started coughing a bit. I do that in waiting rooms--I think they're often not dusted/swept well around the edges. I felt SO conspicuous! I really wanted to look around and say "It's just the dust. I promise."

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A sick (vaccinated, unknowingly COVID positive) person not staying home is why my vaccinated mom has covid and the rest of us are now at risk. 

I fully support vaccinated people resuming normal life, but it is NOT ok to go out when you are sick. It never has been, and even more so now. Selfish, selfish, selfish! 

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This is why I took my kids out of in person unless it is outside with masking if sitting close to others. Church is online.

I know I've stepped back from people who have done this. Not cut them off...but there's relational "distance" now.

Edited by calbear
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I would unfriend them, online and IRL.  

Many people are very selfish.  I was once begged to take a baby overnight for foster care respite.  I explained I had two medically fragile foster children at home (one of whom had just come home from the hospital from brain surgery) and we could not have sick kids or it might kill them. 

The foster mom swore the child was healthy.  She brought over a baby with an obviously runny nose who immediately spiked a fever. Only when they came to pick the baby up did they admit HALF the people in their home had already tested positive for influenza.  And it turned out there was really no need for respite anyway, they lied.  The foster mother just wanted to fill in for a bunco game.  I’m sure all her friends think that awful woman was a saint. She could have killed children and she knew it and lied about it anyway.  For a stupid game.  

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This drove me crazy long before Covid. 

Don't share your germs around! Stay home. If you can't stay home, mask up. 

Happily, I have trained all my tutoring families - they don't arrive with so much as a sniffle. 

Coughs and colds knock me out for weeks (pre-existing condition) so it's in their interests anyway.

I'd suggest snoozing the friends on FB. Because it's infuriating behaviour, and bad for your blood pressure to see. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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At this point I'm pretty much resigned to the fact that the "let-'er-rip" folks have won, and this is just going to get really ugly. I'm privileged that I can just keep getting groceries and other supplies delivered and literally never have to leave the house if I don't want to. And frankly my opinion of the human race is so low right now that I really wouldn't miss the interaction.

But I am so sad for my kids, as well as my parents. This will be DS's senior year of college and he already lost a chunk of his sophomore year and all of his junior year, with no in person classes or athletic competitions, and he will lose his mind if covid shuts down all classes and competitions again. DD learned last year that she cannot handle online classes, and was excited to register for in person classes at the CC this fall, but I think the odds are really high that they will just end up online again (probably right after the refund deadline).

My father and stepmother are in their 80s and in very poor health; my stepmom is not likely to make to Christmas and I doubt my dad will last much longer than that either. But they're in FL and I'm on the other side of the country and there's no way I'm going to Florida right now. Ditto with my exMIL in the UK, who desperately wants to see the kids, and me, before she dies, but that seems unlikely too. The fact that we're in this situation, with places like FL literally worse than ever despite safe, effective, free vaccines, is just pathetic and inexcusable. How many more children need to be orphaned, how many more elderly people need to die without seeing their families, how many more teens and young adults need to miss out on irreplaceable experiences, because a large percentage of Americans just plain don't give a shit what happens to other people as long as they think (often incorrectly) that it won't affect them?

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1 minute ago, Corraleno said:

At this point I'm pretty much resigned to the fact that the "let-'er-rip" folks have won, and this is just going to get really ugly. I'm privileged that I can just keep getting groceries and other supplies delivered and literally never have to leave the house if I don't want to. And frankly my opinion of the human race is so low right now that I really wouldn't miss the interaction.

But I am so sad for my kids, as well as my parents. This will be DS's senior year of college and he already lost a chunk of his sophomore year and all of his junior year, with no in person classes or athletic competitions, and he will lose his mind if covid shuts down all classes and competitions again. DD learned last year that she cannot handle online classes, and was excited to register for in person classes at the CC this fall, but I think the odds are really high that they will just end up online again (probably right after the refund deadline).

My father and stepmother are in their 80s and in very poor health; my stepmom is not likely to make to Christmas and I doubt my dad will last much longer than that either. But they're in FL and I'm on the other side of the country and there's no way I'm going to Florida right now. Ditto with my exMIL in the UK, who desperately wants to see the kids, and me, before she dies, but that seems unlikely too. The fact that we're in this situation, with places like FL literally worse than ever despite safe, effective, free vaccines, is just pathetic and inexcusable. How many more children need to be orphaned, how many more elderly people need to die without seeing their families, how many more teens and young adults need to miss out on irreplaceable experiences, because a large percentage of Americans just plain don't give a shit what happens to other people as long as they think (often incorrectly) that it won't affect them?

I don't want to say I like this post, but I feel the exact same way and have a kid in college who is affected and elderly parents.  It just stinks.

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I am really hoping that the vsccinated "bubble" and not doing off campus field experiences and internships will allow the fall to mostly be normal for my entering first year. Senior year (and a chunk of junior year) were so dismal. 

 

And I really, really, REALLY don't want to end up teaching solely online again. But if parents won't keep sick kids home and won't have their kids mask, I don't know that I'm going to have a choice. 

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3 hours ago, Pawz4me said:

I got a little tickle in my throat and started coughing a bit. I do that in waiting rooms--I think they're often not dusted/swept well around the edges. I felt SO conspicuous! I really wanted to look around and say "It's just the dust. I promise."

I've had this problem for the last 4 years. For me, it's not new, but now I always feel self conscious when I get that tickle that will cause a cough. I keep cough drops in my purse or pocket because that's the only way to make the cough stop.

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13 minutes ago, Dmmetler said:

I am really hoping that the vsccinated "bubble" and not doing off campus field experiences and internships will allow the fall to mostly be normal for my entering first year. Senior year (and a chunk of junior year) were so dismal. 

 

And I really, really, REALLY don't want to end up teaching solely online again. But if parents won't keep sick kids home and won't have their kids mask, I don't know that I'm going to have a choice. 

UGGH. I am so sorry.  School is going to be another crap fest this fall.

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I am very frustrated with people who don't appear to care a fig for anyone but themselves but please make sure you know that they are not testing for sure before being rude or judgemental. This isn't for OP who has more info but in general. 

 

My daughter has had a wheezy cough that sounds horrible. She is not contagious. She HAS tested multiple times this summer and will again before flying but random people on the plane are not going to know her or why she has a wheezy cough. She can't just quarantine for the rest of her until everyone else feels safe.  

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38 minutes ago, frogger said:

I am very frustrated with people who don't appear to care a fig for anyone but themselves but please make sure you know that they are not testing for sure before being rude or judgemental. This isn't for OP who has more info but in general. 

 

My daughter has had a wheezy cough that sounds horrible. She is not contagious. She HAS tested multiple times this summer and will again before flying but random people on the plane are not going to know her or why she has a wheezy cough. She can't just quarantine for the rest of her until everyone else feels safe.  

I have cough variant asthma, and so do my kids. ❤️❤️❤️ I know how awkward it is to cough in public. My vent is aimed squarely at people who know they are sick, and are still going about unmasked in their daily lives, consciously turning a blind eye so that their plans aren’t interrupted. 

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I'm on heavy doses of medication in part to keep symptoms managed because coughing, sneezing, etc is anxiety producing. But I don't know that it is at all reasonable to maintain for years at a time. 

 

And it is my students who have athsma and other health conditions who are at risk if kids come with COVID, RSV, flu, etc, especially if masking is "optional". I am really hoping that it will go from being "optional" to mandatory in the next couple of weeks before I start my fall term. And that it doesn't take too many sick kids to get to that point. 

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2 hours ago, TexasProud said:

UGGH. I am so sorry.  School is going to be another crap fest this fall.

Yep. I'm gearing up to push my college senior through the final two semesters, lol. She really hated so much online for junior year and struggled academically for the first time ever. 

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I had a 17 year old student once come to my house for tutoring and she was pasty and sweating and looked really ill. I asked her if she was Ok, and she said yes, but could I use your bathroom. Ok, sure. She came back looking worse, but said, No No I'm fine. But a few minutes later she said she needed to use the bathroom again. When she came back, she was white and shaking and put a mint in her mouth. So, again I asked if she shouldn't go home. No, I'm fine. I've just thrown up twice, but I'm still good for tutoring. Um. Right. How in the world do you think it is OK to throw up not once but TWICE in my toilet and still think I want to teach you chemistry?!?!?!

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45 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

I have cough variant asthma, and so do my kids. ❤️❤️❤️ I know how awkward it is to cough in public. My vent is aimed squarely at people who know they are sick, and are still going about unmasked in their daily lives, consciously turning a blind eye so that their plans aren’t interrupted. 

I know. That is why I said that my comment wasn't aimed at you because you knew more about their situation but it is awkward and frustrating and so I was reminding people in general. 

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3 hours ago, Dmmetler said:

And I really, really, REALLY don't want to end up teaching solely online again. But if parents won't keep sick kids home and won't have their kids mask, I don't know that I'm going to have a choice. 

Could you request the parents to send their kids masked to your classes? My son's music teacher has a preexisting health condition, so every student of his masks, they even leave their shoes outside his studio doorway so as not to track in germs. It is not a big deal to wear a mask for 30-60 minutes if the teacher requests it.

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9 hours ago, mathnerd said:

Could you request the parents to send their kids masked to your classes? My son's music teacher has a preexisting health condition, so every student of his masks, they even leave their shoes outside his studio doorway so as not to track in germs. It is not a big deal to wear a mask for 30-60 minutes if the teacher requests it.

Yes, and I have. But I'm getting pushback from parents for this coming term because the schools are not requiring masking, and normally my center follows the school policies. Last year was easy. It was required for everyone coming into the center, and while the temp checks probably did nothing, it meant there was someone at the door reminding people to mask and handing out paper masks if needed. This summer, it's been a gradual attrition, where one or two kids each week will show up without them, and I'm getting quesrions about "why are you wearing a mask if you're vaccinated" even from some of my little ones.

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My youngest can't miss this week of new teacher orientation and has her annual allergy/sinus thing going on - no fever, but a lot of congestion and sore throat from the post nasal drip.    She got a COVID test - negative - this weekend just to help reassure her new co-workers that she, fully vaccinated, too, wasn't bringing them the plague.  Our district has already mandated everyone be masked in school, even if vaccinated, thank heavens.  Yet until the elementary kids can be vaccinated I fear it hitting the schools.

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19 hours ago, prairiewindmomma said:

I am super frustrated right now.  I have friends who have been sick all week with covid symptoms who continued their vacation (photos in the hotel pool, in restaurants, everywhere else) who are now sending their daughter to camp, while she is still symptomatic. They have not done covid testing because if they knew they were positive, they would feel obligated to stay home.

Take that story x10 and you pretty much have half of my facebook feed.

Obviously I know I have no control over their choices.

Obviously I know I should just not look at social media when it's just going to trigger me.

Obviously I know that it's possible they don't have covid, but rather RSV or one of the other viruses going on right now.

But in this moment, I am angry and grieving. Anybody else?


I agree with you and have been very frustrated with people sharing their illnesses Willy Nilly for years

as to the current situation I like this chart, including in re the stay home if sick part, the top line of it - and whether vaccinated or not. I realize some people have work situations that won’t allow this, but certainly at least for optional activities, vacationing, keeping a sick kid home from camp or school, etc :

 

image.thumb.png.2ddc14dc103d214e2eabc856c5e0b595.png

Edited by Pen
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On more than one occasion (pre-pandemic) I've had friends give me a hug at church and then tell me that they left most of their kids at home that day because they had the flu.  Think, people, think.

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