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Posted

I need help or at least a pep talk. My youngest dd is a senior this year and I am really struggling with getting up the gumption for college applications. My oldest dd is going to be a senior in college this year, so we have done it all before but I just can’t think straight about it.

 I’m a nurse in an ICU looking after a lot of Covid patients. I usually only work 1 day a week but I’ve been working extra days and get text messages almost every day asking for people to work. I’m struggling with all that right now and I am finding it hard to concentrate on college stuff with my dd. My parents live in the UK and I haven’t been able to see them for 2 years and have been worrying about them too. I can’t seem to remember what to do next.

This is what we have done:

ACT and PSAT

I’ve left a message to talk to the community college about some dual enrollment classes.

My dd has been really burnt out with school this year and I am working on planning more project based, interest led history and science courses.

The problems:

Dd isn’t sure what degree she wants to do. I know a lot don’t know that at first. She has been interested in robotics and engineering for about 5 years but for some reason has become unsure about pursuing those fields recently. So she wants to go somewhere that will give her the option of changing if she needs to. A lot of universities specializing in those fields don’t seem to offer a wide variety of majors if you decide you want to do something quite different.

We have not done any visits yet, although she did go to a couple of places when her sister was looking, but of course it’s a very different thing as a younger sister.

She really needs my support and I am somehow paralyzed. Can someone give me a boot to get me going, only don’t be too harsh because I’m weak and somewhat pathetic right now.

Posted
18 minutes ago, TCB said:

Dd isn’t sure what degree she wants to do. I know a lot don’t know that at first. She has been interested in robotics and engineering for about 5 years but for some reason has become unsure about pursuing those fields recently. So she wants to go somewhere that will give her the option of changing if she needs to. A lot of universities specializing in those fields don’t seem to offer a wide variety of majors if you decide you want to do something quite different.

 

*hugs* my mom used to be an NICU and OT nurse. Its stressful even during non-pandemic times.

I think COVID home based learning has made teens rethink choices. If your daughter is interested in robotics and engineering but unsure, dual enrollment classes with lots of hands on components would help. My friend’s son is interested in robotics and engineering and he has an “unfair” advantage in that his dad’s hobby is drones and his dad converted an unused space in their home to an engineering workbench (kind of like a makerspace).
DS16 is going to be a senior as well. This pandemic has just further encouraged him to look at jobs that can be done easily from home. My husband is an electrical engineer and has to go back now and then to the labs. My teens are okay with the large state universities within commute distance and if they decide to switch majors, it would just lengthen their time in college.

Posted
12 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

*hugs* my mom used to be an NICU and OT nurse. Its stressful even during non-pandemic times.

I think COVID home based learning has made teens rethink choices. If your daughter is interested in robotics and engineering but unsure, dual enrollment classes with lots of hands on components would help. My friend’s son is interested in robotics and engineering and he has an “unfair” advantage in that his dad’s hobby is drones and his dad converted an unused space in their home to an engineering workbench (kind of like a makerspace).
DS16 is going to be a senior as well. This pandemic has just further encouraged him to look at jobs that can be done easily from home. My husband is an electrical engineer and has to go back now and then to the labs. My teens are okay with the large state universities within commute distance and if they decide to switch majors, it would just lengthen their time in college.

Thank you! Those are some good perspectives to keep in mind. I’m hoping that she decides to apply to some larger universities because of the flexibility it will offer.

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Posted

A lot of large/flagship public universities that have Engineering are likely to have many, many other options.  I went to college as a Civil Engineering major and quickly realized it was not for me, then made a 180 to become an English major.  😁  They weren't known so much for their English department, but it was a decent degree without transferring (and had I wanted to continue with what I originally thought I wanted to do, I would have had to go to grad school most likely anyway). 

My DD is interested in Food Science, but she picked that without a ton of research.  It ticked a few boxes of her interests, and she decided to head that direction.  I think there's a decent chance that she'll decide that's not really for her once she gets there, and I'm thankful that all the places she's seriously interested in are large and have many other options if that one doesn't work out.

Posted
12 minutes ago, kirstenhill said:

A lot of large/flagship public universities that have Engineering are likely to have many, many other options.  I went to college as a Civil Engineering major and quickly realized it was not for me, then made a 180 to become an English major.  😁  They weren't known so much for their English department, but it was a decent degree without transferring (and had I wanted to continue with what I originally thought I wanted to do, I would have had to go to grad school most likely anyway). 

My DD is interested in Food Science, but she picked that without a ton of research.  It ticked a few boxes of her interests, and she decided to head that direction.  I think there's a decent chance that she'll decide that's not really for her once she gets there, and I'm thankful that all the places she's seriously interested in are large and have many other options if that one doesn't work out.

Thank you! This is really helping me think more about the benefits of larger colleges. Interestingly my dd is also interested in English and is considering that also. She loves robotics and literature and quite enjoys writing.

Posted

First: relax. Changing majors happens all the time, as does changing institutions. (I am an academic advisor in a science department at our state's engineering uni)
Is she set on a  highly competetive college? If not, college applications are easy.
Your state flagship may have engineering and many other disciplines, or there may be a designated Engineering school with a limited assortment of other major, and the option to transfer to a different campus if desired major isn't available.

There are many fine options. College choice is not as monumental a deal as books and media want to make it look. 

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Posted

Hi, TCB. I totally feel your pain. My oldest DD is an ICU nurse and I feel like the last 1.5 years have taken a decade off her life— it’s just so intensely stressful. We owe you all a debt of gratitude.

I won’t speak to the major thing because others have already addressed it above. I’ll just speak to the process, since I’m hip-deep in it with DD16.
 

You’re going to need a transcript, course descriptions, a school profile, and a counselor letter. Do you have good records so that you can pull these together easily? I’m using an easy service for the transcript (fasttranscripts.com), but you can also diy this. For the other documents, a fellow boardie’s website has been super helpful: https://fearlesshomeschoolers.com/homeschool-college-consulting

Your DD will need to create a Common App account and name you as counselor so you can upload all your documents. She will need to write her Common App essay. Prompts are here: https://www.commonapp.org/apply/essay-prompts My DD and I have found the info from here https://www.collegeessayguy.com/ and here https://www.essayhell.com/ especially helpful. She will need to identify a couple of people to write her Letters of Recommendation. Some? Many? Universities will also have supplemental essays to write. We’ve found if you search school name + supplemental essay, you’ll find lots of helpful tips for writing them. Obviously, use schools’ Net Price Calculators to determine financial fit before even applying. 
 

Good luck getting started. Just pick one thing to tackle and get it done. You’ll feel energized by making clear progress. 

Posted
1 hour ago, fourisenough said:

Your DD will need to create a Common App account and name you as counselor so you can upload all your documents. She will need to write her Common App essay.

Just a comment on this: some schools have direct applications that are simpler than the Common App. If you have settled on a school with a direct application and don't plan to apply to a bunch of schools, there's no benefit in doing the CA. 

Posted
2 hours ago, regentrude said:

First: relax. Changing majors happens all the time, as does changing institutions. (I am an academic advisor in a science department at our state's engineering uni)
Is she set on a  highly competetive college? If not, college applications are easy.
Your state flagship may have engineering and many other disciplines, or there may be a designated Engineering school with a limited assortment of other major, and the option to transfer to a different campus if desired major isn't available.

There are many fine options. College choice is not as monumental a deal as books and media want to make it look. 

Thank you! I had not thought about the possibility of transferring to a different campus if necessary.

Posted
2 hours ago, fourisenough said:

Hi, TCB. I totally feel your pain. My oldest DD is an ICU nurse and I feel like the last 1.5 years have taken a decade off her life— it’s just so intensely stressful. We owe you all a debt of gratitude.

I won’t speak to the major thing because others have already addressed it above. I’ll just speak to the process, since I’m hip-deep in it with DD16.
 

You’re going to need a transcript, course descriptions, a school profile, and a counselor letter. Do you have good records so that you can pull these together easily? I’m using an easy service for the transcript (fasttranscripts.com), but you can also diy this. For the other documents, a fellow boardie’s website has been super helpful: https://fearlesshomeschoolers.com/homeschool-college-consulting

Your DD will need to create a Common App account and name you as counselor so you can upload all your documents. She will need to write her Common App essay. Prompts are here: https://www.commonapp.org/apply/essay-prompts My DD and I have found the info from here https://www.collegeessayguy.com/ and here https://www.essayhell.com/ especially helpful. She will need to identify a couple of people to write her Letters of Recommendation. Some? Many? Universities will also have supplemental essays to write. We’ve found if you search school name + supplemental essay, you’ll find lots of helpful tips for writing them. Obviously, use schools’ Net Price Calculators to determine financial fit before even applying. 
 

Good luck getting started. Just pick one thing to tackle and get it done. You’ll feel energized by making clear progress. 

Thank you so much! That is a great list and really helpful links. I’m really intimidated by the Common App. My oldest daughter only applied to 3 schools and did the individual applications for each school. Is there any value to doing that instead of the Common App or is it not a good idea? I’m going to look at the website you linked.

I’m sorry your dd has been going through this too! I hope she is able to get the rest and peace she needs.

Posted
41 minutes ago, TCB said:

Thank you so much! That is a great list and really helpful links. I’m really intimidated by the Common App. My oldest daughter only applied to 3 schools and did the individual applications for each school. Is there any value to doing that instead of the Common App or is it not a good idea? I’m going to look at the website you linked.

I’m sorry your dd has been going through this too! I hope she is able to get the rest and peace she needs.

I think if you’re applying to one or two schools (who each have their own application), it might make sense to avoid the Common App. If you’re applying to three or more schools who are all on Common App, it probably makes sense to do the common app. 

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Posted

Let me join the others in thanking you for your service.  Health care workers are  under a lot of pressure and are not respected by a vocal minority of idiots.   I'm here to say many of us are exceedingly grateful for your work.  

When I feel overwhelmed I find it helpful to set small goals.  Like your first goal should be to just set up a common app account, choose a user name and password and just get logged in.  Check that box off your to do list and then binge watch some TV. 

Small goals, make a bit of progress every few days.  Check in with us and we'll make sure you are on track.

Another option:  Your dd may benefit from a gap year.  Just throwing that out.  

Finally, in general it's easier to start as an engineering student and then switch to liberal arts than vice versa.  I would say if engineering is still on the table, she may want to start off as a freshman in that department.       

  • Like 3
Posted
On 7/24/2021 at 4:52 PM, daijobu said:

Let me join the others in thanking you for your service.  Health care workers are  under a lot of pressure and are not respected by a vocal minority of idiots.   I'm here to say many of us are exceedingly grateful for your work.  

When I feel overwhelmed I find it helpful to set small goals.  Like your first goal should be to just set up a common app account, choose a user name and password and just get logged in.  Check that box off your to do list and then binge watch some TV. 

Small goals, make a bit of progress every few days.  Check in with us and we'll make sure you are on track.

Another option:  Your dd may benefit from a gap year.  Just throwing that out.  

Finally, in general it's easier to start as an engineering student and then switch to liberal arts than vice versa.  I would say if engineering is still on the table, she may want to start off as a freshman in that department.       

Thank you! Those are some great suggestions and some good information. We are trying to narrow down a list of colleges to decide on whether to do the common app. We’re both intimidated by it. I haven’t said anything to her about being intimidated, unless she’s just picking up vibes, but she said she was nervous. I’m going to get on there anyway and sign up as you suggested.

Posted (edited)

I don't say this as a sales pitch, truly. But you can hire someone to help her do this if you are too burned out to right now. There are a couple of us here who do college consulting and there are several other folks out there who also specialize in homeschoolers.

It's both late in the process and early. It's that weird moment where... if you haven't been thinking about it and getting ready, you could get overwhelmed and end up with limited choices. But, on the other hand, applications aren't even open yet and there's plenty of time to gear up and change your mind and your course and all that.

The Common App is NOT that complicated, though I agree that if she sets her sights on just a couple of schools it may not even be necessary. 

In the next month, I'd say try to do these things:

* Narrow down that list of schools
* Go ahead and get a draft of that personal statement if she's likely to apply to schools that use it (even optionally)
* Choose who she's asking for a letter of recommendation and reach out and ask - she may need more than one person depending on the schools she chooses

In terms of schools where she can pursue computer science/robotics related stuff... there are liberal arts schools with computer science, but she might be best off at a large university where changing your major is possible - at a few, it's really difficult, but at others it's common. So that's her number one question to ask of schools at any tours, virtual events, through emails to admissions, etc. - if you're admitted, is there a university exploration program where you can go in undeclared, if you're admitted to a specific program, can you take classes in other programs, how hard is changing your major across the college and the university as a whole.

Edited by Farrar
Posted
1 hour ago, Farrar said:

I don't say this as a sales pitch, truly. But you can hire someone to help her do this if you are too burned out to right now. There are a couple of us here who do college consulting and there are several other folks out there who also specialize in homeschoolers.

It's both late in the process and early. It's that weird moment where... if you haven't been thinking about it and getting ready, you could get overwhelmed and end up with limited choices. But, on the other hand, applications aren't even open yet and there's plenty of time to gear up and change your mind and your course and all that.

The Common App is NOT that complicated, though I agree that if she sets her sights on just a couple of schools it may not even be necessary. 

In the next month, I'd say try to do these things:

* Narrow down that list of schools
* Go ahead and get a draft of that personal statement if she's likely to apply to schools that use it (even optionally)
* Choose who she's asking for a letter of recommendation and reach out and ask - she may need more than one person depending on the schools she chooses

In terms of schools where she can pursue computer science/robotics related stuff... there are liberal arts schools with computer science, but she might be best off at a large university where changing your major is possible - at a few, it's really difficult, but at others it's common. So that's her number one question to ask of schools at any tours, virtual events, through emails to admissions, etc. - if you're admitted, is there a university exploration program where you can go in undeclared, if you're admitted to a specific program, can you take classes in other programs, how hard is changing your major across the college and the university as a whole.

Thank you for this! We haven't started applications yet and she does not know where and what to do, but she has been looking at colleges and degree options for months. She has a list of possible options and I think we need to think seriously about focusing on places with a wider range of options so she has the opportunity to change majors if she wants.

I have been thinking about the possibility of hiring someone to help. Do you have any idea how much that kind of service costs, and what they do? My dd has got good exam scores, ACT 35, and NM selection index score of 221. I don't think she is the type to enjoy and do well far from home, so I don't think we will be applying to very selective schools. She has recently been looking at colleges in our state and 2 neighboring states.  One thing that is playing on my mind is that, although I have some course descriptions written, I have a number still to be done. When my dd applied we ended up not needing to submit course descriptions, so I don't have that experience under my belt.

Sorry this is all a bit rambly. I really appreciate all the advice. I'm going to grit my teeth right now and try and make an account for the Common App in case.

  • Like 1
Posted

Just wanted to say that I did go on there and created a practice account, and I looked at several of the tabs. I had to stop then for now. I know I sound really pathetic about all this. I really appreciate the support you guys are giving me!

  • Like 2
Posted
40 minutes ago, TCB said:

Just wanted to say that I did go on there and created a practice account, and I looked at several of the tabs. I had to stop then for now. I know I sound really pathetic about all this. I really appreciate the support you guys are giving me!

The CA is not really all that bad. It just looks intimidating because there's so much of it. You'll figure it out. There should be a ton of info in the pinned threads.

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Posted
56 minutes ago, TCB said:

I have been thinking about the possibility of hiring someone to help. Do you have any idea how much that kind of service costs, and what they do? My dd has got good exam scores, ACT 35, and NM selection index score of 221. I don't think she is the type to enjoy and do well far from home, so I don't think we will be applying to very selective schools. She has recently been looking at colleges in our state and 2 neighboring states.  One thing that is playing on my mind is that, although I have some course descriptions written, I have a number still to be done. When my dd applied we ended up not needing to submit course descriptions, so I don't have that experience under my belt.

Help with what? Doing to Common App? Your DD will figure it out. You just need to come up with a school profile and a guidance counselor letter.
The course descriptions are not difficult. They can be a basic paragraph, summarizing the content of the course and listing the textbook. Many of us will be happy to give you examples. 

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Posted
1 hour ago, TCB said:

I have been thinking about the possibility of hiring someone to help. Do you have any idea how much that kind of service costs, and what they do? My dd has got good exam scores, ACT 35, and NM selection index score of 221. I don't think she is the type to enjoy and do well far from home, so I don't think we will be applying to very selective schools. She has recently been looking at colleges in our state and 2 neighboring states.  One thing that is playing on my mind is that, although I have some course descriptions written, I have a number still to be done. When my dd applied we ended up not needing to submit course descriptions, so I don't have that experience under my belt.

It depends on who you hire and what you hire them to do. Virtually any college consultant will help a student build a list, help them with their essay, help them with their application and things like how to make their activities shine, how to emphasize different things... It's really not difficult to figure out the Common App (or any other application) but having someone to hold your hand through the process is something some students find useful. Overall, most smart kids will figure most of it out.

For homeschool consultants, most of us will help write and format your course descriptions, profile, counselor letter, transcript, etc. 

I think a lot of what you're paying for is taking the mental bandwidth off your plate. None of it is rocket science and dedicated parents can (and usually should, honestly) just do it yourself, though I firmly believe kids should always get at least one outside family read on their essay (though a favorite English teacher or an auntie who's an editor/author or someone along those lines could be fine - and there are inexpensive classes for this as well). But if someone is busy with other things that are emotionally draining, then that is one of the prime reasons to hire someone. IMHO.

Cost varies a ton. You can hire some people by the hour for a targeted service and not pay much. Other people do packages and those can range a lot. I'll pm you.

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Posted
1 hour ago, TCB said:

Just wanted to say that I did go on there and created a practice account, and I looked at several of the tabs. I had to stop then for now. I know I sound really pathetic about all this. I really appreciate the support you guys are giving me!

When I looked at California state universities applications instructions, I decided I probably need a gallon of caffeine to proofread my DS16’s data entry when the time comes 🙃 CSU’s instructions reminded me of IRS 1040 instructions. I just updated DS16’s transcript a few days ago for his Fall quarter dual enrollment application. 

I think there used to be an annual commiseration thread for college applications. 
 

If your daughter has the time, she can start on the common app essay prompts

https://www.commonapp.org/apply/essay-prompts

For the engineering school I attended decades ago, we were allowed to minor in business/finance/economics or law. It was part of a big public university and cross disciplinary minors were available though the classes for minors were in the evenings since engineering classes ran 9am to 5pm.

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