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Adding a second dog, does gender of dogs matter for best chance of harmonious living and any other pointers you have to share?


cjzimmer1
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Everyone was so helpful last fall when I was asking about getting a dog (against the wishes of my older children - which by the way has turned out wonderfully). 

I've watched my sister add an adult dog to her household and it hasn't been the smoothest transition.  I would like to add a second dog to our household but want to try to make it a better transition.

Our current dog is a neutered male chihuahua/rat terrier mix.  Future dog will likely be a similar mix as I prefer small breed short hair dogs.  It will be a rescue dog coming from Texas.  While we'd love to do another puppy, we are trying to save money for a building project so I'm looking for a young adult dog this time since they would already be altered and I wouldn't be required to take classes (not that I don't think they are valuable just not wanting to spend the extra money on that right now if I don't have to).  I can a request a dog that has been fostered with other dogs but obviously that is no guarantee it will get along with MY dog.  I'm wondering if getting a female would increase the chance they get along (even though they are both altered) or does it really not matter?  My mom always refused to have male dogs because she didn't want them marking everything.  Current dog rarely marks (and never in the house) but then again, he's the only dog whose ever been in my backyard or house so it's not like he has to defend his territory.  I know every pair of dogs is different but is there a general rule of thumb on this? Also does anyone have any other tips, tricks, pointers, or other thoughts on adding a second dog so I can do this well?

 

 

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There are no guarantees, of course. But in general opposite sexes are most likely to get along well or at least to live in peace. Then two males. The least recommended/least preferred pairing is two females. That's not to say that two females can't get along--many do. But if they don't the fights can be particularly vicious. I've done a lot of volunteer rescue work over the years, and the only time I've been seriously bitten (a bite requiring stitches) was when I stupidly tried to break up a fight between two females.

It's a fallacy that only male dogs mark. Two of the worst markers I've ever met were females.

Edited by Pawz4me
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I am adding an opposite sex puppy. Twice in my life same sex dogs have fought and I now try to avoid that. 
 

my male dog has a female neighbor dog friend who lifts her leg slightly and marks much like male dogs  ... worse than many ... sigh ... she comes over and starts trying to mark ... everything

 

im not sure there’s a rule of thumb, my current male is very particular and only likes to mark, poop,  etc  on a particular road  ... Occasionally it’s a problem such as in snow ... but generally good and I hope older dog will teach puppy 

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15 minutes ago, Pawz4me said:

There are no guarantees, of course. But in general opposite sexes are most likely to get along well or at least to live in peace. Then two males. The least recommended/least preferred pairing is two females. That's not to say that two females can't get along--many do. But if they don't the fights can be particularly vicious. I've done a lot of volunteer rescue work over the years, and the only time I've been seriously bitten (a bite requiring stitches) was when I stupidly tried to break up a fight between two females.

It's a fallacy that only male dogs mark. Two of the worst markers I've ever met were females.

Agree totally. 

Two females can get along, but when they don't, there will be stitches involved, at minimum. At worst, and more often than I like, one dog doesn't survive. That said, I've had two females before and may again...but I am experienced, and know that it might not work out. And if it doesn't, the other dog has to go or it will be ugly. 

Two males are most likely to have "trash talk" type fights - they vie for alpha status and can be obnoxious about it. Fights are usually not deadly, often no one is hurt at all, because it doesn't make evolutionary sense to waste the effort I guess? But it can be scary and annoying. 

A male and female won't have the same kinds of power struggles, as a "pack" has two separate hierarchies usually, a lead male and lead female. 

So in this situation, where the dog is coming from farther away and you can't easily do a trial run, I'd go for a female. 

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Has your current dog had any experience around other dogs? Seeing who he does or doesn't get along with might help.

For the first time ever, we have two dogs. We just got a 10 week old shepherd mix (almost a month ago). We have always had a single labrador (plus cats). This last one, a labrador we rescued at 11 months, came into a much different family situation than our previous labs. He is the first we've had as a youngster who doesn't have young kids in the house to "pack" with. We have a dog park in our community, and he's had some not nice run-ins with some breeds/sizes/varieties-of-neuteredness, lol, but it was always male dogs if he wasn't getting along. That helped us decide. His very best friend is a female boxer, and he gets along with every female at the dog park. So picking a female was important. I like big dogs with short hair, and I wanted a puppy because it's easier for the cats to train a pup that they are the bosses. They are getting along beautifully, and really all we've done is make sure the big boy is getting lots of attention and time away from her when he needs it. He goes out and joins us when we're potty-training her and gets praised even if he does nothing because he's being a good big brother for supporting her. LOL She needs things to chew, so he gets new things to chew as well, even though he doesn't so much need them anymore, and they end up going to her anyway. 

Good luck for a successful friend match!

Edited by Alte Veste Academy
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Yup. My male only ever has trouble with other males at the park - specifically he doesn't want other males mounting him. Which to be fair, is again, normal. He has every right to say, "get off!" and then be snippy if they keep coming back.But avoidable with a female. 

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We had a older female dog, she is 10 now. 

We adopted a 8-12 month old female dog.  They meet before hand at the shelter and seemed to get along fine there.  When they got home the puppy started being more aggressive and wanting to fight play with the older dog all the time.  Which the older dog doesn't want to do at all.  They do get along most of the time only time is when the younger dog wants to play and the older dog never wants to. 

I would have liked to get an older dog, I think they would have gotten along better?  Maybe.  Although the puppy seemed to learn her place and knows the older one is Alpha even though she is failing health in some ways.

My girls haven't ever marked the house.  Only the puppy who wasn't house trained when we got her. 

We puppy sat for a male dog and he peed on our couches.  

People say meet somewhere neutral.  I also was with them 100% during the day.

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8 minutes ago, mommyoffive said:

We adopted a 8-12 month old female dog.  They meet before hand at the shelter and seemed to get along fine there.  When they got home the puppy started being more aggressive and wanting to fight play with the older dog all the time.  Which the older dog doesn't want to do at all.  They do get along most of the time only time is when the younger dog wants to play and the older dog never wants to. 

We had this issue when my daughter got a kitten when we had a single old kitty. The new kitten needed play. We ended up getting another kitten for the kitten. Then no one messed with the old kitty lady, which is exactly what she wanted. 

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44 minutes ago, ktgrok said:

Agree totally. 

Two females can get along, but when they don't, there will be stitches involved, at minimum. At worst, and more often than I like, one dog doesn't survive. That said, I've had two females before and may again...but I am experienced, and know that it might not work out. And if it doesn't, the other dog has to go or it will be ugly. 

Two males are most likely to have "trash talk" type fights - they vie for alpha status and can be obnoxious about it. Fights are usually not deadly, often no one is hurt at all, because it doesn't make evolutionary sense to waste the effort I guess? But it can be scary and annoying. 

A male and female won't have the same kinds of power struggles, as a "pack" has two separate hierarchies usually, a lead male and lead female

So in this situation, where the dog is coming from farther away and you can't easily do a trial run, I'd go for a female. 

My sister has a 7 year old female dog  and an ancient male dog and 3 cats.  The female dog rules the roost.  She added a 3 year old male last fall.  It was rough because the young male wanted to rule and the female was having none of it.  Once the 3 year old male learned his place things settled down but the first several months were rough.  The ancient male dog has never been a problem with any of hers (or mine) but I suppose it's because he's old and just doesn't care enough.  The other dogs have never done much more than sniff him and walk away.  

The interesting part is upon first meeting between mine and hers, her female quickly let my dog know whose boss and everything is fine.  Once he learned to accept her dogs he started eagerly greeting her dog and her female now cowers when he is excited and tries to jump on her and runs away but bosses him around otherwise.  It's like she just can't handle his energy.

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51 minutes ago, Alte Veste Academy said:

Has your current dog had any experience around other dogs? Seeing who he does or doesn't get along with might help.

For the first time ever, we have two dogs. We just got a 10 week old shepherd mix (almost a month ago). We have always had a single labrador (plus cats). This last one, a labrador we rescued at 11 months, came into a much different family situation than our previous labs. He is the first we've had as a youngster who doesn't have young kids in the house to "pack" with. We have a dog park in our community, and he's had some not nice run-ins with some breeds/sizes/varieties-of-neuteredness, lol, but it was always male dogs if he wasn't getting along. That helped us decide. His very best friend is a female boxer, and he gets along with every female at the dog park. So picking a female was important. I like big dogs with short hair, and I wanted a puppy because it's easier for the cats to train a pup that they are the bosses. They are getting along beautifully, and really all we've done is make sure the big boy is getting lots of attention and time away from her when he needs it. He goes out and joins us when we're potty-training her and gets praised even if he does nothing because he's being a good big brother for supporting her. LOL She needs things to chew, so he gets new things to chew as well, even though he doesn't so much need them anymore, and they end up going to her anyway. 

Good luck for a successful friend match!

The neighbor behind us has a male puppy a few months younger than mine.  They have never been in the same space but have touched noses through the fence.  Both pretty much bark every time they see each other and they don't stop till one or the other gets taken inside.  

He's also met my sister's dogs.  She has a female who is top dog over all animals.  My dog is submissive to her most of the time because she want take anything from anyone (but that's how she survived being an abused street dog), however she runs away when he gets excited and jumpy and tries to play.  My sister's male dog and mine pretty much spend all the time they see each barking at each other.  But they only see each other every few months so it's not like they have opportunity to bond.  Otherwise other than occasional passing of dogs on walks (we don't walk on lease very often because our backyard is more than big enough to give him plenty of exercise). So no he hasn't had much exposure to others to see if he gets along with one better than another.

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47 minutes ago, mommyoffive said:

We had a older female dog, she is 10 now. 

We adopted a 8-12 month old female dog.  They meet before hand at the shelter and seemed to get along fine there.  When they got home the puppy started being more aggressive and wanting to fight play with the older dog all the time.  Which the older dog doesn't want to do at all.  They do get along most of the time only time is when the younger dog wants to play and the older dog never wants to. 

I would have liked to get an older dog, I think they would have gotten along better?  Maybe.  Although the puppy seemed to learn her place and knows the older one is Alpha even though she is failing health in some ways.

My girls haven't ever marked the house.  Only the puppy who wasn't house trained when we got her. 

We puppy sat for a male dog and he peed on our couches.  

People say meet somewhere neutral.  I also was with them 100% during the day.

Unfortunately meeting before isn't much of an option.  The dogs leave Texas Saturday morning, arrive here Sunday morning and the majority are picked up by their adopters immediately.  Occasionally they have some go to a foster home, but they don't really stay long.  They mostly only send dogs that already have an approved adopter.  The others are highly sought after so they know they won't be around long (pretty much fluffy dogs which I don't want).  The rescue will take the dog back if you really can't make it work but obviously that's tough on the dog and is a last resort kind of thing.

 

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45 minutes ago, Alte Veste Academy said:

We had this issue when my daughter got a kitten when we had a single old kitty. The new kitten needed play. We ended up getting another kitten for the kitten. Then no one messed with the old kitty lady, which is exactly what she wanted. 

Yeah my dog is still in the I want to play stage so I'm definitely looking at a young dog and one of the reasons for not getting another puppy.  My dog is going to want to play and the puppy would be so small that I worry he would hurt it.

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24 minutes ago, cjzimmer1 said:

 

The interesting part is upon first meeting between mine and hers, her female quickly let my dog know whose boss and everything is fine.  Once he learned to accept her dogs he started eagerly greeting her dog and her female now cowers when he is excited and tries to jump on her and runs away but bosses him around otherwise.  It's like she just can't handle his energy.

 

17 minutes ago, cjzimmer1 said:

She has a female who is top dog over all animals.  My dog is submissive to her most of the time because she want take anything from anyone (but that's how she survived being an abused street dog), however she runs away when he gets excited and jumpy and tries to play.

Alpha theory is frequently hugely misunderstood (it's a very flawed theory to begin with). Most dogs who are "alpha" are only interested in the things they care about. If (for example) you have an entire pack of dogs but the "alpha" cares not one whit where he/she sleeps then that dog might happily move from a bed and let the lowest ranking dog in the pack sleep there. Alphas get what they want, but they don't (usually) want all the things. The female dog is telling your dog in a polite way that she doesn't want to engage in his rough house type play. And if he "listens" to that -- that's a good thing.  

It is a really good thing if you can match up play styles. Like some dogs like to chase but not touch, others are very physical with body slamming and jaw jousting. So you know his play style. If you could find another dog with the same play style that would be great. (ETA: It can be hard to find out about play style, though. Your best bet for that is a dog who has been in a savvy foster home with other dogs for at least a couple of months.)

Edited by Pawz4me
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12 minutes ago, cjzimmer1 said:

Unfortunately meeting before isn't much of an option.  The dogs leave Texas Saturday morning, arrive here Sunday morning and the majority are picked up by their adopters immediately.  Occasionally they have some go to a foster home, but they don't really stay long.  They mostly only send dogs that already have an approved adopter.  The others are highly sought after so they know they won't be around long (pretty much fluffy dogs which I don't want).  The rescue will take the dog back if you really can't make it work but obviously that's tough on the dog and is a last resort kind of thing.

 

Yeah I have seen those planes full of dogs on the news!  Yeah for new homes.  We jumped on the dog we found because this was when all the dogs were going super fast last year and you couldn't get one.    I would make sure to do the neutral meeting first and spend time with them both a lot in the first few days or weeks.

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12 minutes ago, Pawz4me said:

It is a really good thing if you can match up play styles. Like some dogs like to chase but not touch, others are very physical with body slamming and jaw jousting. So you know his play style. If you could find another dog with the same play style that would be great. (ETA: It can be hard to find out about play style, though. Your best bet for that is a dog who has been in a savvy foster home with other dogs for at least a couple of months.)

Oh, wow! Thanks for the term jaw jousting! My lab and his boxer friend are full-on body slamming and jaw jousting (and the teeth knocks you can hear!). Play style makes perfect sense to try to match. We got very lucky then, that this pup is a full-body player too. She plays hard and can take "discipline" from her big brother. LOL

OP, definitely ask the fosters for info like that. We have never fostered, but we have volunteered at cat rescues and people who get to know the animals, even for a short period, really can convey such helpful information.

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If it’s possible to get something that smells like new dog in advance and introduce old (meaning current boy dog already in residence even if a “young” age) dog to it before new dog arrives that could help. 
 

getting familiar food etc of new dog and only gradually shifting her to same food as old dog may help 

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I always get the opposite sex of what we already have.   It is still tricky when new puppy comes home and takes times to work through but we have had success each time.  There has always been a large age difference between them too. 

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I agree: opposite sex. I once had two females. I had NO idea that gender mattered. They'd be fine together, but every six months or so they'd have a truly frightening dog fight.

It was scary and awful. Thankfully nobody was ever seriously ever hurt.

I"m not sure about two males though.

 

Edited by Alicia64
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Thanks everyone!  I'll go ahead and put down a female on my application.  They have a lot of males ready right now so I was wondering if it made enough difference that I should wait for a female.  Not that I really expect to wait that long but I feel so bad for them, I'd be happy to give any of them of home.

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