MEmama Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 (edited) DS has been invited by a (female) friend to a backyard prom tonight. She attends a different school but he will probably know most of the people there. AFAIK they are going as friends, I don’t think there is anything romantic is between them and she’s leaving for school in a couple weeks anyway. I do know she was nervous to ask him, but I think it’s just because she’s never done it before (most of these kids aren’t dating at all yet). I *just* found out the kids (all? Most? Idk but not just them) are going to a fancy, waterfront restaurant before the party. Quick question—should he pay for her dinner? I think it would be nice, but is it weird if they are just friends? It probably would have been done “in my day” but idk if it would be the norm for this generation and I don’t want to suggest old fashioned, patriarchal BS if that’s how it would be perceived now. Thoughts? Also DH thinks he should bring her flowers but I think that’s weird. Edited June 15, 2021 by MEmama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eos Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 I might be with DH on this, yes to flowers, but no to paying since she invited him? And they're attending as friends. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kanin Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 It's probably too late for this, but your DS sounds like he likes off-beat fun things (pink suit anyone? :)), so what about something like a cute toy, like a plush dinosaur? That would be a memorable prom gift 🙂 Barnes & Noble is a good place to find adorable stuffies. I'm with you on the flowers... what's she supposed to do with them? I always thought wrist corsages were strange, like something done at proms b/c it's tradition, but that no teen would think of on their own. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 I don't think two people not dating and going as just friends owe each other flowers or dinner. They should go dutch, or at most, maybe because she invited him she could cover dinner. No way should he be obliged to bring flowers to her. Dutch is always best in my book because it takes all the obligation feelings out of it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted June 15, 2021 Author Share Posted June 15, 2021 3 minutes ago, Kanin said: It's probably too late for this, but your DS sounds like he likes off-beat fun things (pink suit anyone? :)), so what about something like a cute toy, like a plush dinosaur? That would be a memorable prom gift 🙂 Barnes & Noble is a good place to find adorable stuffies. I'm with you on the flowers... what's she supposed to do with them? I always thought wrist corsages were strange, like something done at proms b/c it's tradition, but that no teen would think of on their own. Lol— he is excited to get to wear the suit a couple times this season. He's wearing a 3 piece, mauve suit with white Doc Martens boots. 😎 I like your suggestion but unfortunately he’s leaving in an hour, so no time to pick anything up. I’d consider sending him with peonies from the garden but they are pretty bedraggled after last nights rain. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 If it were my son, he would pay for both dinner and flowers. The girl might be very excited about the prom, and my ds would want to make it memorable and fun for her. Are they getting a limo? 6 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eos Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 The above posters have convinced me about the flowers, I think I'm just wishing DH would give me flowers! 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted June 15, 2021 Author Share Posted June 15, 2021 5 minutes ago, Faith-manor said: I don't think two people not dating and going as just friends owe each other flowers or dinner. They should go dutch, or at most, maybe because she invited him she could cover dinner. No way should he be obliged to bring flowers to her. Dutch is always best in my book because it takes all the obligation feelings out of it. Hmmm, I don’t see it as obligation, just wondering what modern protocol is. But yeah, I can’t imagine she'll be put out if he doesn’t bring a bouquet. 🙂 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted June 15, 2021 Author Share Posted June 15, 2021 1 minute ago, Catwoman said: If it were my son, he would pay for both dinner and flowers. The girl might be very excited about the prom, and my ds would want to make it memorable and fun for her. Are they getting a limo? Oh no, no one gets a limo here. The backyard proms are pretty casual (except they are dressing up!). This one is in someone’s waterfront yard. I’ll probably suggest he offer to pay for dinner. She can decline of course, but it seems nice? 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 2 minutes ago, Harpymom said: The above posters have convinced me about the flowers, I think I'm just wishing DH would give me flowers! You should have invited him to the prom. 😉 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted June 15, 2021 Author Share Posted June 15, 2021 2 minutes ago, Harpymom said: The above posters have convinced me about the flowers, I think I'm just wishing DH would give me flowers! Well yikes—I guess I’ll see if any peonies survived! 🙂 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 Just now, MEmama said: Oh no, no one gets a limo here. The backyard proms are pretty casual (except they are dressing up!). This one is in someone’s waterfront yard. I’ll probably suggest he offer to pay for dinner. She can decline of course, but it seems nice? I think that’s a good idea. That’s what I would have him do. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted June 15, 2021 Author Share Posted June 15, 2021 1 minute ago, Catwoman said: I think that’s a good idea. That’s what I would have him do. Ok—thanks! 🙂 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eos Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 6 minutes ago, MEmama said: He's wearing a 3 piece, mauve suit with white Doc Martens boots If you don't post a pic, I will still have a great mental visual of this! 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toocrazy!! Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 I was wondering what suit he ended up finding!! Hope they have a great time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 Ask her if she wants a corsage instead of flowers. He could buy flowers for her mom if it was a date. I would make sure he has enough money and offer to pay for dinner if she doesn’t want to go dutch. And possibly $20-30 more to pitch in for late night pizza. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 (edited) 37 minutes ago, MEmama said: DS has been invited by a (female) friend to a backyard prom tonight. She attends a different school but he will probably know most of the people there. AFAIK they are going as friends, I don’t think there is anything romantic is between them and she’s leaving for school in a couple weeks anyway. I do know she was nervous to ask him, but I think it’s just because she’s never done it before (most of these kids aren’t dating at all yet). I *just* found out the kids (all? Most? Idk but not just them) are going to a fancy, waterfront restaurant before the party. Quick question—should he pay for her dinner? I think it would be nice, but is it weird if they are just friends? It probably would have been done “in my day” but idk if it would be the norm for this generation and I don’t want to suggest old fashioned, patriarchal BS if that’s how it would be perceived now. Thoughts? Also DH thinks he should bring her flowers but I think that’s weird. my son gave a wristlet corsage to his prom date that she could wear while doing things (pretty much all the boys got one for their dates and the girls gave the boys boutonnières) I would suggest that or some sort of flowers/corsage if there’s time can the girl be asked about paying for dinner before the event so as not to have awkwardness at the time? eta: otherwise I suggest he be prepared to pay for them both, and just proceed to do it, unless she objects strongly. Edited June 15, 2021 by Pen 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyacinth Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 (edited) Can he ask her? "I don't know what you had in mind here and I don't want it to be awkward at the restaurant. I'd like to pay for our dinner, but that might be weird for you since you asked me?" Just put it out there and see what she says? And I like the idea of a wristlet corsage but it might be too late to find one. If he has a nice time, he can bring her flowers tomorrow as a "Thanks for asking me" gesture. Edited June 15, 2021 by Hyacinth 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theelfqueen Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 (edited) I would expect them to go Dutch for dinner - but I'd make sure he is prepared to pay in case it comes out that way. I would expect a corsage would still go over well. Edited June 15, 2021 by theelfqueen 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted June 15, 2021 Author Share Posted June 15, 2021 Ok, I had success finding a handful of peonies that survived the rain, and will mix in some stalks of purple cat mint. Shockingly, DS thinks flowers are a good idea so I’m glad you all talked me into making it happen. 🙂 A garden bouquet feels appropriately casual yet thoughtful. I'll also suggest he offer to pay for dinner (he will want to but is likely to forget if I don’t make a point of mentioning it first). I’ll post a pic of the suit if he allows a photo. 🙂 Thank you for all your help! Hive mamas rock! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted June 15, 2021 Author Share Posted June 15, 2021 Flowers. 🙂 27 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 (edited) 6 minutes ago, MEmama said: Flowers. 🙂 Beautiful! If you can find a pin to attach one or more to dress or something to possibly create a wristlet even for just one big peony, which (wristlets) seems to be what is “in” at least on our side of the country that could be a nice addition. what wrist corsages look like - but some were more plain like a backyard pretty flower on a ribbon that the boy helped tie on afaik https://vickiesflowers.com/flower-arrangements/prom-corsage-and-boutonniere/ Edited June 15, 2021 by Pen 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 I would try to make the flowers into a wrist corsage, or I would call a florist and see if they can put one together for you right away. If this is prom season in your area, your grocery store floral department might have wrist corsages pre-made and ready to go. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted June 15, 2021 Author Share Posted June 15, 2021 (edited) I’ll take this down soon but here’s the suit… 😎 Took it down for privacy but thanks for all agreeing he looked handsome! Lol Edited June 16, 2021 by MEmama 30 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ailaena Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 I sure am glad I didn’t miss that picture because it’s amazingly fun! 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 Cute!!! The suit even sort of matches the flower color tones! Love the doc martens! 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 He’s so handsome!!! 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kanin Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 1 hour ago, MEmama said: Ok, I had success finding a handful of peonies that survived the rain, and will mix in some stalks of purple cat mint. That is awesome, and very Maine!!! I love it!!! 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 Sounds like everything is all squared away. He looks great and I hope they all have a nice time. I think offering to pay for dinner and bringing flowers is a good idea. Might as well make a big deal over prom and make it a special night for his friend. 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 56 minutes ago, Catwoman said: If this is prom season in your area, your grocery store floral department might have wrist corsages pre-made and ready to go. that’s a good idea ... and the more flowers the more extra special imo ! 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted June 15, 2021 Author Share Posted June 15, 2021 30 minutes ago, Kanin said: That is awesome, and very Maine!!! I love it!!! Thanks! It can be hard to know here, I find. I recently went to a graduation party at a yacht club and wore a summer dress with sandals and I was definitely overdressed. Lol. But I think in this case a backyard bouquet feels appropriately casual. 🙂 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indigo Blue Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 Love the suit and shoes!! Your son is so handsome! Hope they have a nice time. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toocrazy!! Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 He is handsome! And I love his suit. What fun! 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 Is he already gone and at restaurant? I hope they have a fun and memorable evening! 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 Just going on the record that all the most fashionable crowd I know was into bouquets this year and the wrist corsage is not the “thing” here anymore. Of course that is what my ds and his girlfriend did (wrist corsage) but they are never accused of being in the cool crowd 🙂 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted June 15, 2021 Author Share Posted June 15, 2021 22 minutes ago, Pen said: Is he already gone and at restaurant? I hope they have a fun and memorable evening! Me too! 🙂 I'm just thankful that the kids can participate in some end-of-high school traditions this year, even if they are different and unique. They can’t know now in the moment how important some of them are for closure and marking this enormous time of transition in their lives, but as parents we do. And when the traditional things can’t happen, I love that they are taking it into their own hands and owning the moment by making it their own. 🙂 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted June 15, 2021 Author Share Posted June 15, 2021 23 minutes ago, teachermom2834 said: Just going on the record that all the most fashionable crowd I know was into bouquets this year and the wrist corsage is not the “thing” here anymore. Of course that is what my ds and his girlfriend did (wrist corsage) but they are never accused of being in the cool crowd 🙂 Phew! 🙂 (for the record I’m unclear if DS's school has a “cool crowd”. It was such a different experience than my own. Lol). 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 11 minutes ago, MEmama said: Me too! 🙂 I'm just thankful that the kids can participate in some end-of-high school traditions this year, even if they are different and unique. They can’t know now in the moment how important some of them are for closure and marking this enormous time of transition in their lives, but as parents we do. And when the traditional things can’t happen, I love that they are taking it into their own hands and owning the moment by making it their own. 🙂 yes! It’s important! mine had 3 main closure events so far and prom has been his favorite - And I think the dressing up, flowers etc, all adds to making memorable experiences (here They are still doing closure events this week - and maybe unofficially next week ... meanwhile I am trying to get thank you notes written for school staff ... I was just realizing that his public school is as small as a homeschool co op ... ) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 40 minutes ago, teachermom2834 said: Just going on the record that all the most fashionable crowd I know was into bouquets this year and the wrist corsage is not the “thing” here anymore. Of course that is what my ds and his girlfriend did (wrist corsage) but they are never accused of being in the cool crowd 🙂 good ! Then he’ll be cool if that so there in Maine! Our senior class is under 20 kids who pretty much became a cohesive group without so much “fashionable” crowd. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 Fabulous suit! The flowers are perfect. I hope he has a wonderful time! 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bibiche Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 (edited) 3 hours ago, MEmama said: Lol— he is excited to get to wear the suit a couple times this season. He's wearing a 3 piece, mauve suit with white Doc Martens boots. 😎 Aww c’mon, we need pictures of this!!! Off with his head if you must, but we need to see this rad ensemble! LOL note to self: read entire thread first! 😂 Even more awesome than I anticipated!!! 😎 Edited June 15, 2021 by bibiche 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hippymamato3 Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 4 hours ago, Catwoman said: If it were my son, he would pay for both dinner and flowers. The girl might be very excited about the prom, and my ds would want to make it memorable and fun for her. Are they getting a limo? This. For sure! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 4 hours ago, MEmama said: Hmmm, I don’t see it as obligation, just wondering what modern protocol is. But yeah, I can’t imagine she'll be put out if he doesn’t bring a bouquet. 🙂 I think it’s mostly adding positive energy and making for an uplifting memorable and joyful experience as much as is readily possible! And maybe it’s especially important after the strange year most people have had. She gave him the gift of an invitation and of having a prom to go to and he is gifting her beautiful flowers and perhaps paying for the dinner. And everyone gains, the givers and the given. and you too who picked the pretty flowers and can enjoy the gift of being able to do that 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I talk to the trees Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 I know I’m chiming in a bit late here, but think he looks quite charming in his suit and boots, and the flowers are just right! I hope they have a wonderful time! 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoffive Posted June 15, 2021 Share Posted June 15, 2021 Aww he looks so great! I hope he has a nice time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted June 16, 2021 Share Posted June 16, 2021 I'm late too and think he looks perfect! Hope they have so much fun! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eos Posted June 16, 2021 Share Posted June 16, 2021 Ah! So sad I missed the picture! I will just keep on imagining it 🙂 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frances Posted June 16, 2021 Share Posted June 16, 2021 5 hours ago, Harpymom said: Ah! So sad I missed the picture! I will just keep on imagining it 🙂 Me too. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bibiche Posted June 16, 2021 Share Posted June 16, 2021 @MEmama We already know he was the beau of the ball, but did he have a great time? 😃 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted June 16, 2021 Author Share Posted June 16, 2021 40 minutes ago, bibiche said: @MEmama We already know he was the beau of the ball, but did he have a great time? 😃 He did. I haven’t heard many details—they enjoyed a fancy dinner, hung out, and had an impromptu camp out. He and another guy woke early and watched the sun rise over the ocean. He just got home, happy and tired, so it sounds like a success! The flowers didn’t come home so I assume he remembered to give them to his friend. 😂 14 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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