s/o race education and mixed families

[SKL]

I can't read the other thread right now due to time constraints.  However, from what I've seen and heard, it seems like there is a lot of "they" and "we" / grouping in the "critical race theory" and related education discussions.

The reality of today's US is that a considerable % of children have mixed heritage, whether by biological ties, legal ties, family/community ties, or all of the above.

I don't know exactly what they are going to try to tell my kids about race, but I have a feeling it's going to teach them to contrast themselves with [if not pit them against] me (their adoptive mom) and my biological family.  I don't think that's awesome, and I know I'm not the only person in this situation.  What about kids who have parents of two (or more) different races?  How will this impact all the kids who are growing up good friends in a racially mixed school?  How about adopted kids, foster kids, etc. who are of a different race than their parent/caregiver?  What is being done to make sure this doesn't create problems where they are not needed?

Does anyone wonder if this heightened focus on racial tension (in K-12 school) is going to slow the positive progress that has been made?  I feel like we've gotten to a point where most people hardly notice mixed race couples.  That would be unthinkable in my childhood.  When my kids crush on boys of different/mixed races, it looks and feels natural, which means society is not limiting them to only date/marry within their minority racial group.  And if they start the next generation that way, their kids will not be a topic of conversation on account of their racial heritage.

I just hope well-meaning people are not going to throw out the baby with the bathwater.

[ETA, to clarify - I am talking about curriculum in b&m school.  I believe kids need to learn as much as possible about racism (historical and current) from their parents / extended family, preferably before they hear simplistic, watered-down, age-inappropriate stuff at school.  And I'm not against history being taught, preferably in a way that is age-appropriate at each grade level.]

Edited June 11, 2021 by SKL

[Spy Car]

I don't think you have a good grasp on what is actually going on in the schools, as what you present is a grossly false characterization.

Bill

[mommyoffive]

I don't know what other thread this is talking about.  I will have to go back and find it.

I am of mixed race.  I was raised with only one parent that was white and not with the other parent that was black.  I had no ties to the family that was not white.  I only met that parent one time  for an hour and they had no part of my life.  The parent I was raised by never ever spoke to my sibling and I being mixed race.  Never gave us any background on connecting or education.  It was really really hard.  When I was made fun of and harassed at school and in public I was on my own to figure things out.  It was something that took me a long time to deal with, heal from, educate myself on, and be accepted by people.   For a long time I was accepted with the black kids in my school (starting around middle school) because I wasn't black enough and I acted white.  But I also wasn't accepted by the white kids in my school, because I was other.  When my parents were together it was very taboo to have a mixed race relationship.  It caused a lot of problems in my family.  So well I think mixed race couples are accepted where I live now, I do talk to my kids to let them know the history that it wasn't always that way.

My kids don't ethnically look like me as I married someone white.  But we do talk about race in our house.  Not all the time, but when things come in life and the news.  I want them to know the issues that other people are facing or have.  

So I guess my take is don't raise kids the way I was raised.  I hope that I am doing a better job at addressing and talking about race in our mixed race house.  

[Martha in GA]

8 minutes ago, mommyoffive said:

So I guess my take is don't raise kids the way I was raised.  I hope that I am doing a better job at addressing and talking about race in our mixed race house.  

I'm sorry that you had to deal with the mixed racial issue as you were growing up. But, even by your own admission, things are much different now than they were when you were growing up. I'm not sure that this is an issue that can be resolved by teaching a curriculum in the school.

 

[Spy Car]

1 minute ago, Martha in GA said:

I'm sorry that you had to deal with the mixed racial issue as you were growing up. But, even by your own admission, things are much different now than they were when you were growing up. I'm not sure that this is an issue that can be resolved by teaching a curriculum in the school.

 

No. There is a great deal of consciousness raising that is happening--and needs to happen--if this country is going to advance.

Sweeping the sins of the past under the rug is not a reasonable path forward.

Bill

[mommyoffive]

1 minute ago, Martha in GA said:

I'm sorry that you had to deal with the mixed racial issue as you were growing up. But, even by your own admission, things are much different now than they were when you were growing up. I'm not sure that this is an issue that can be resolved by teaching a curriculum in the school.

 

Things are different in some ways, but not all better in a lot of ways too.  If all the hate and violence against different races that last yearish shows we all have more work to do and improve in this area.  Racism still exists.  And I still deal with it now.  

I am not addressing about teaching a curriculum in school in my post at all.  Just what goes on in our home and family.   I haven't started reading the other thread yet.  

[SKL]

19 minutes ago, mommyoffive said:

I don't know what other thread this is talking about.  I will have to go back and find it.

I am of mixed race.  I was raised with only one parent that was white and not with the other parent that was black.  I had no ties to the family that was not white.  I only met that parent one time  for an hour and they had no part of my life.  The parent I was raised by never ever spoke to my sibling and I being mixed race.  Never gave us any background on connecting or education.  It was really really hard.  When I was made fun of and harassed at school and in public I was on my own to figure things out.  It was something that took me a long time to deal with, heal from, educate myself on, and be accepted by people.   For a long time I was accepted with the black kids in my school (starting around middle school) because I wasn't black enough and I acted white.  But I also wasn't accepted by the white kids in my school, because I was other.  When my parents were together it was very taboo to have a mixed race relationship.  It caused a lot of problems in my family.  So well I think mixed race couples are accepted where I live now, I do talk to my kids to let them know the history that it wasn't always that way.

My kids don't ethnically look like me as I married someone white.  But we do talk about race in our house.  Not all the time, but when things come in life and the news.  I want them to know the issues that other people are facing or have.  

So I guess my take is don't raise kids the way I was raised.  I hope that I am doing a better job at addressing and talking about race in our mixed race house.  

 

I totally agree with talking about race as a family.  And I totally agree with kids knowing the historical facts, but presented in ways they are mature enough to digest and use.  I've had issues with how race-related education was done in schools since my kids were in KG.  The curriculum writers seem so eager to spread a message that they fail to consider how young kids will actually hear the message.

My OP was talking about b&m school curriculum.  I will go up and clarify that.

[mommyoffive]

2 minutes ago, SKL said:

 

I totally agree with talking about race as a family.  And I totally agree with kids knowing the historical facts, but presented in ways they are mature enough to digest and use.  I've had issues with how race-related education was done in schools since my kids were in KG.  The curriculum writers seem so eager to spread a message that they fail to consider how young kids will actually hear the message.

My OP was talking about b&m school curriculum.  I will go up and clarify that.

Sorry about that confusion.  

[prairiewindmomma]

Each school district does their own thing, but I haven’t seen anything concerning based on my own kids’ experiences in public school. My school district has curricula discussing how the law and history has shaped different racial communities differently at the high school level but the conversation has been focused on structures, not people and has been limited in scope. At the elementary level it has been a “we celebrate diversity snd all are welcome here” vibe—as it has long had. Ds reports no discussion in jr high. 
 

The people in my district who are against critical race theory and want to get rid of it are the same ones that want to do away with sex Ed. They are typically either ignorant (as in truly not knowing what is going on) or virulently partisan. Our district has all materials available for inspection by parents (sends out links) and there is a formal opt-out process for the sex Ed stuff. 
 

 

[prairiewindmomma]

If you have questions, ask your district curricula coordinator. 🙂 

[Carrie12345]

2 hours ago, SKL said:

I don't know exactly what they are going to try to tell my kids about race, but I have a feeling it's going to teach them to contrast themselves with [if not pit them against] me (their adoptive mom) and my biological family.  I don't think that's awesome, and I know I'm not the only person in this situation. 

Can you give an example of the teachings that you fear?

I don’t want to completely derail your question. My kids are almost always considered nothing but white. (Some sickos might exclude my half-Jewish kid, and another was recently criticized for not knowing Spanish... because her 1/8 Middle Eastern ancestry gives her a hint of brown. It skipped her siblings.) Our conversations are typically generic, though they sometimes include loved ones of all sorts of backgrounds. I try to tread carefully when specific people come up, but those talks are most often about handling the IRL situations of racism they see out in public. 

As a very limited analogy, I’ve taught my boys and my girls “critical gender theory”, if you will, without any of them deciding that more than half our family is trash. They haven’t had any trouble understanding the need for continued work to repair historical and current damage they, as individuals, had no part in. My daughters don’t blame my sons, and my sons don’t feel persecuted.

Of course it’s easier to deal with conversations that might get messy in a small, controlled environment than in a larger group of random people who may or may not be fumbling their way around. I don’t want to discount that. I’m just trying to get an idea of specific concerns.

[KSera]

I’m way behind on the other thread because I like to finish reading before replying and I haven’t been online enough to keep up, so I haven’t replied there yet, but I’m most of the way through it. What keeps coming to my mind there as on this thread, is that I think by and large, there’s a huge chasm between what people are afraid is being taught in the schools and what actually is. It appears there are some stories of places where this has been very poorly implemented (no big surprise), and otherwise it’s a lot of people pearl clutching about how damaging it will be to their kids to be talked to about race in school. It seems to me a large portion of those who say they are so worried about CRT being taught in schools actually don’t want race addressed at all. When they say they don’t want certain racially charged topics addressed, they are in essence saying they think of their “white” version of history to be the default and that teaching anything else is going off script on some way. 

[Farrar]

I keep thinking that people are taking the idea that the systems around us are racist way too personally. It's not a personal indictment or setting people against anyone to say that we're all fallible and imperfect and raised with biases that we don't always spot or realize. But people are so deeply threatened by that very basic idea. And I could go through and deconstruct why they're so threatened, but people are so angry. It's just impossible to get through.

[Melissa Louise]

1 hour ago, KSera said:

I’m way behind on the other thread because I like to finish reading before replying and I haven’t been online enough to keep up, so I haven’t replied there yet, but I’m most of the way through it. What keeps coming to my mind there as on this thread, is that I think by and large, there’s a huge chasm between what people are afraid is being taught in the schools and what actually is. It appears there are some stories of places where this has been very poorly implemented (no big surprise), and otherwise it’s a lot of people pearl clutching about how damaging it will be to their kids to be talked to about race in school. It seems to me a large portion of those who say they are so worried about CRT being taught in schools actually don’t want race addressed at all. When they say they don’t want certain racially charged topics addressed, they are in essence saying they think of their “white” version of history to be the default and that teaching anything else is going off script on some way. 

I'm sorry you see us as pearl clutching over race. That is absolutely not my perspective, and I think I've been very clear about that. 

~

I don't think a convo about mixed kids will be any different to other conversation here. 

I raised three mixed race kids, with an eye to my biases, and open to learning from my own kids. I did a damn better job of it than their (brown, Asian) dad, who holds and does not particularly examine a variety of prejudices. Any and all connection they have with their Asian heritage was facilitated by me. Their Dad thought I was insane to be bothering. 

The general sense I get now is that now is that the progressive, pro Black position is that no white parent can ever do a good enough job with her mixed race children, that her choice of a Black or POC partner is itself indicative of a racist bias, and that she will inevitably taint them with her own unexamined racism. She must never speak of her experience, because it will be more racist than most outspoken racists. 

Probably school can fix it with their special commitment to truly doing the work. 

In answer to OP, I have read that mixed kids get their own affinity groups, being part oppressed, part oppressor. Fun times in that room. 

 

[KSera]

2 hours ago, Melissa Louise said:

I'm sorry you see us as pearl clutching over race. That is absolutely not my perspective, and I think I've been very clear about that. 

 

I don’t see you as pearl clutching over race. I see a lot of people with very valid concerns about this and how it’s being implemented (you among them from your responses on the other thread). Those aren’t the people I’m referring to. It may be that some of this is hard to communicate fully to people outside the US, because it’s a very particular odd dynamic going on with these discussions right now that I’m trying to articulate, and that I see some others trying to get at as well. It’s something that doesn’t actually have anything to do with the people I’m referring to having done any serious consideration of these issues at all. It’s based almost completely on people hearing talking heads talking about this or seeing articles in particular biased sources and then getting up in arms about something when they don’t even really understand what that something is. Again, that’s largely not what’s happening here (TWTM). I think there has been some really good discussion on the other thread about the various potential problems and pitfalls. I have personally encountered multiple people in real life the past couple weeks who have clearly thought I would be of the same mind as them on this (two go to the same church I do), and have said they would have homeschooled too, specifically to avoid “all this critical race stuff” so their kids wouldn’t “be told they have to feel guilty for being white”. That’s not a thing that I am hearing actually happening anywhere around me. That’s the pearl clutching stuff I’m talking about. 

[stripe]

On 6/11/2021 at 12:01 PM, Spy Car said:

I don't think you have a good grasp on what is actually going on in the schools, as what you present is a grossly false characterization.

I don’t think that’s fair to SKL. As a concerned mother of mixed children, she has a particular interest in this issue, and I agree with her that there’s a false dichotomy to discussions of race AND ALSO that most discussions among homeschoolers of how to discuss race (for example on this board) assume the parents and/or children are white, so it’s a sort of “let’s find out about those people” framing.

I posted in that other thread about the lawsuit brought by Nevada resident Gabrielle Clark, a Black mother to a light skinned teen boy with green eyes and light brown hair who was assumed by his white teacher and classmates to be white, and was expected to not only specify his ethnic background, sexual preference, religion, and the like, and somehow identify as an oppressor.

I think it is entirely legitimate to discuss the implications of race in mixed families. It impacts many aspects of life, as parents try to  raise their children.

[wathe]

I've tried to inoculate mine (mixed-race kids) by formally studying racism and social justice at home, through a CRT lens.  We homeschool, but DS 13 (finishing grade 7) will likely go to public high school.  I figure that if he already has a thorough grounding in antiracism through a CRT lens at home, then that will be protective against any poorly taught antiracism content that might happen at school.  

He understands that structural racism is a systemic problem wth historical roots, and not the fault of any one person.

He understands the concepts of bias (we all have some), privilege (we all hold some), and intersectionality.  

He understands that privilege is often invisible to those who hold it.  We talk about how our privilege or lack-there-of plays out in real life.  He and his father hold male privilege and I don't, I hold white privilege and they don't.  How structural racism has influenced our family's history.  All of this happens quite organically, without anyone feeling threatened or labelled as an oppressor.  

He understands that systemic/structural racism is the disease, and that internalized and interpersonal racism are the symptoms.  

I actually think that mixed families may have an advantage with this.  There are opportunities to do this teaching quite organically at home in a very real-life way that maybe same-race families don't have.

ETA: One of my kids is white-passing, and the other isn't.  That has also added layers to the conversation.

Edited June 12, 2021 by wathe

[SKL]

9 hours ago, wathe said:

I've tried to inoculate mine (mixed-race kids) by formally studying racism and social justice at home, through a CRT lens.  We homeschool, but DS 13 (finishing grade 7) will likely go to public high school.  I figure that if he already has a thorough grounding in antiracism through a CRT lens at home, then that will be protective against any poorly taught antiracism content that might happen at school.  

He understands that structural racism is a systemic problem wth historical roots, and not the fault of any one person.

He understands the concepts of bias (we all have some), privilege (we all hold some), and intersectionality.  

He understands that privilege is often invisible to those who hold it.  We talk about how our privilege or lack-there-of plays out in real life.  He and his father hold male privilege and I don't, I hold white privilege and they don't.  How structural racism has influenced our family's history.  All of this happens quite organically, without anyone feeling threatened or labelled as an oppressor.  

He understands that systemic/structural racism is the disease, and that internalized and interpersonal racism are the symptoms.  

I actually think that mixed families may have an advantage with this.  There are opportunities to do this teaching quite organically at home in a very real-life way that maybe same-race families don't have.

ETA: One of my kids is white-passing, and the other isn't.  That has also added layers to the conversation.

I have talked to my kids about racism (including systemic racism) very frequently since they could understand the words.  But I'm not a homeschooler.  The amount of time we have for any discussions is limited, and they have less interest in what mom says the older they get.  But yes, we've discussed, for example, why nearly all the kids at the eastside parochial high school are black while most of those at the westside one are white.  It got into real estate and lending stuff among other things.  But how much of it stuck, I don't know.  We've had many conversations followed by clueless comments that indicate a lack of retention.  And also comments that indicate better understanding than I'd thought.

All that said, the fact is that school has a different kind of power over my kids.  They learn very early to say what the teacher wants to hear, or whatever mirrors the text writers' beliefs.  They are very rarely encouraged to think for themselves about what is taught in school.  The more they care about grades, the more they parrot the curriculum.  And besides that, I probably won't be informed of what they hear in school, so I won't have the opportunity to give them my perspective on it.

[stripe]

 

13 hours ago, SKL said:

All that said, the fact is that school has a different kind of power over my kids.  They learn very early to say what the teacher wants to hear, or whatever mirrors the text writers' beliefs.  They are very rarely encouraged to think for themselves about what is taught in school.  The more they care about grades, the more they parrot the curriculum.  And besides that, I probably won't be informed of what they hear in school, so I won't have the opportunity to give them my perspective on it.

Comment meant to be supportive but seen as insulting was deleted. Sorry to offend.

Edited June 13, 2021 by stripe

[Murphy101]

23 hours ago, stripe said:

I don’t think that’s fair to SKL. As a concerned mother of mixed children, she has a particular interest in this issue, and I agree with her that there’s a false dichotomy to discussions of race AND ALSO that most discussions among homeschoolers of how to discuss race (for example on this board) assume the parents and/or children are white, so it’s a sort of “let’s find out about those people” framing.

I posted in that other thread about the lawsuit brought by Nevada resident Gabrielle Clark, a Black mother to a light skinned teen boy with green eyes and light brown hair who was assumed by his white teacher and classmates to be white, and was expected to not only specify his ethnic background, sexual preference, religion, and the like, and somehow identify as an oppressor.

I read about that lawsuit too. Good for her for suing them.

My biggest problem is that there is no critical race theory. As in there is not a well stated detailed explanation of this “theory” and exactly what the steps and processes are of it and how to explain that in an appropriate manner in k-12 environment.  So in essence, implementing it has become a free for all hellhole that can be anything from stuff like this lawsuit to just renaming what they have always done. And like always, it’s the kids who pay the price. 

[Murphy101]

2 minutes ago, stripe said:

 

 Maybe I should start a consulting business where my kids would teach other kids how to argue with authority and see alternate sides. I’d be happy to send them your way. 

That came across as very sarcastic and belittling.  I don’t know if that was your intent or not. If the topic was anything else, I’m pretty sure most parents would completely understand that this is a very common problem in most non-homeschool education settings.  (I’d agree it’s an issue even then too at times.)  Compared to the school parents don’t get nearly as much time to learn about what’s going in their kids’ lives between the hours of school and sleep. I don’t think it comes as a surprise to anyone that kids and adults struggling with speaking up when they disagree or feel marginalized by the crowd/authority, especially when their grades are in the line and or they have no choice but to be around that crowd/authority for many years to come. 

[Danae]

17 minutes ago, Murphy101 said:

I read about that lawsuit too. Good for her for suing them.

My biggest problem is that there is no critical race theory. As in there is not a well stated detailed explanation of this “theory” and exactly what the steps and processes are of it and how to explain that in an appropriate manner in k-12 environment.  So in essence, implementing it has become a free for all hellhole that can be anything from stuff like this lawsuit to just renaming what they have always done. And like always, it’s the kids who pay the price. 

To the bolded, yes there is. To the underlined, that would be because the k-12 environment is not law school.  You are not going to find a K-12 appropriate definition of CRT any more that you’re going to find k-12 instructions for drawing Feynman diagrams.  A kindergartner can be taught to draw lines and squiggles and say “this is an electron” but they haven’t learned physics by doing it.  
 

Most of the K-12 stuff that people are pointing to looks to me to be poorly done Diversity Equity and Inclusion curriculum getting mislabeled as Critical Race Theory.  

[stripe]

2 hours ago, Murphy101 said:

That came across as very sarcastic and belittling.  I don’t know if that was your intent or not. 

It wasn’t. At all. If you read up thread, I went out of my way to defend SKL, whom I do not think I have always agreed with in the past on every issue, because I thought her motives are pure.  My kids have had to deal with a lot of garbage and are also very aggressive when it comes to self defense.

My offer (meant to support other kids who also deal with obnoxious people) stands, but I am happy to delete it. 

Have a nice summer.  I am on a board break.

Edited June 13, 2021 by stripe

[SKL]

1 hour ago, stripe said:

It wasn’t. At all. If you read up thread, I went out of my way to defend SKL, whom I do not think I have always agreed with in the past on every issue, because I thought her motives are pure.  My kids have had to deal with a lot of garbage and are also very aggressive when it comes to self defense.

My offer (meant to support other kids who also deal with obnoxious people) stands, but I am happy to delete it. 

Have a nice summer.  I am on a board break.

I understood your intent.

My younger kid is a rebellious smarta$$ and has the grades to prove it.  Kids can speak up, but they do get punished for it.  I just wish I could know what they are hearing so I could give my take on it.  Like when we go to church, I can say, "these people believe X, some people believe Y, and I believe Z because ____."  Everyone's entitled to their opinion/theory, but what's taught in school isn't presented as opinion/theory, and believing it (or pretending to) isn't a choice.

[Pen]

On 6/11/2021 at 8:33 AM, SKL said:

I can't read the other thread right now due to time constraints.  However, from what I've seen and heard, it seems like there is a lot of "they" and "we" / grouping in the "critical race theory" and related education discussions.

The reality of today's US is that a considerable % of children have mixed heritage, whether by biological ties, legal ties, family/community ties, or all of the above.

I don't know exactly what they are going to try to tell my kids about race, but I have a feeling it's going to teach them to contrast themselves with [if not pit them against] me (their adoptive mom) and my biological family.  I don't think that's awesome, and I know I'm not the only person in this situation.  What about kids who have parents of two (or more) different races?  How will this impact all the kids who are growing up good friends in a racially mixed school?  How about adopted kids, foster kids, etc. who are of a different race than their parent/caregiver?  What is being done to make sure this doesn't create problems where they are not needed?

Does anyone wonder if this heightened focus on racial tension (in K-12 school) is going to slow the positive progress that has been made?  I feel like we've gotten to a point where most people hardly notice mixed race couples.  That would be unthinkable in my childhood.  When my kids crush on boys of different/mixed races, it looks and feels natural, which means society is not limiting them to only date/marry within their minority racial group.  And if they start the next generation that way, their kids will not be a topic of conversation on account of their racial heritage.

I just hope well-meaning people are not going to throw out the baby with the bathwater.

[ETA, to clarify - I am talking about curriculum in b&m school.  I believe kids need to learn as much as possible about racism (historical and current) from their parents / extended family, preferably before they hear simplistic, watered-down, age-inappropriate stuff at school.  And I'm not against history being taught, preferably in a way that is age-appropriate at each grade level.]

My ds had some special (precovid) race related education things he went to meetings at his school and to meetings with  a variety of kids from many schools ...

in some ways I was glad because it gave him some special attention and a chance to practice some public speaking.
 

Otoh I also think it played up some victim mentality issues which was not beneficial, and played up some separation between people on race/ethnic grounds which was otherwise not particularly a problem (even just the pull out time for a few kids made “otherness” a thing.) And I think there may be some degree (perhaps a lot) of tptb using racial/ethnic divisions as a tool to keep people fighting amongst one another instead of coming together . 

I think my Ds enjoyed having the special trips and missing some regular classes for the program, but he did not seem to think it was particularly helpful. I do not know that it qualified as “CRT” specifically.  
 

(eta: like you I don’t know exactly what they did or what they were hearing and would have liked to have known more.  Eta: on positive side I think they were largely being asked for their own views and what problems they faced as having been identified as POC — at least in theory to help the education system of the state to improve itself. ) 
 

More recently when school went back into being in person a teacher had a Black Lives Matter sign in her room. I think it was expected to be controversial, but may have gotten very little attention. 
 

If everyone is supposed to only hang with or marry within their own racial/ethnic group that becomes terribly limiting for someone who may have at least 4 different racial/ethnic groups from grandparents or perhaps 8 from great grandparents who were already intermarried . (Eta: Or if adopted, then are they expected to only be with others with similar adoption backgrounds?) Do they need to find others of the exact same mixture?  How many people will there be for them in that case?  Luckily by and large my son and his friends seem to be beyond that.  “by and large” meaning not 100%, but less a problem in reality than it may be being turned into by potentially well-meaning programs. 

 

Edited June 13, 2021 by Pen

[Moonhawk]

I agree there's a lot of progress about what we accept, regarding mixed-race couples, etc. This is probably also dependent on where you live, where I am it is mostly accepted, at least between certain races.

I think, though, some of the progress has come from an erasure of some cultural/ethnic heritage. Not necessarily accepting others for being different, as much as ignoring unchangeable differences so long as they try to conform as much as possible. But I guess that's the truth in most societies and cultures. 

To answer your question, I don't think on the whole it will set back our society and it's progression on race topics. This could actually be seen as a positive symptom of how we are progressing, even: that we are at a place where we can openly address these issues and understand that these issues are important enough for our children to understand. I think it has the potential to improve things even faster.

I wouldn't make the jump to it will automatically paint an us-vs-them position to make the parents look bad in the mixed-race scenario. Teaching history and racially-charged historical events doesn't have to be taught in a us vs them way. Being able to abstract from the particular is an important part of education: I'd expect (hope?) that not making an individual equal to an universal would be understood by the point they get into the grittier details, and enforced by the teachers. My kids are so mixed I can't talk about one part of their heritage in relation to another without some bloodshed: but that's okay, because we are talking about history and how it's shaped the present, not how they are individually 1/8 monstrous for something that happened 60 or 100 years ago. 

And by bringing up problems head on instead of letting them fester and taboo'ing their discussion in an academic way until potentially college (which a lot of people don't go to) we're allowing for earlier comfort in solving the issues and stopping a segment of the population being ignorant of its existence. And their ignorance is a huge factor in its continuation.

Plus, if teens/young adults already are able to critically assess how systems are flawed, there is greater chance to correct these things as they grow and become a part of the system.

That seems a net gain from a societal view.

On the personal level: some teachers will bring their own bias to it. It will go both ways: those that over-emphasize the tension as being insurmountable, and others who pretend it didn't really exist and things like colonization and slavery were purely economically-driven. I mean, this was/is already being taught in some schools. So I understand the concern about how it will be implemented and impact your personal family; but you're probably already be concerned about that so it's not changing anything.

And yeah, teens can take just about anything and turn it against parents regardless of how it's presented, and if they know that race is a sore spot with their parents for whatever reason, I'm sure they'll weaponize the information. But that doesn't mean that the information will be presented in a way to encourage that reaction. And it doesn't mean the reaction is permanent, and that they won't integrate the more useful parts as they mature. Teens are dramatic and can take on a victim mentality from anything so no matter how well it's taught there will be some kids who internalize the wrong message; but they are also growing up and are members of our society and it's better for them to have as good an understanding of the society they will be entering soon as adults. 

I assume you can ask to talk with the teacher or see the lesson outlines if you think your particular teacher could be biased. Since you're concerned about the bias even though we're still in hypothetical territory, I'm guessing you are already concerned about just their history classes in general, and would be asking these questions either way and checking how history is being presented by the schools you can correct/enhance as necessary.

So since you're already doing that, I'm not sure if going from currently-biased curricula to CRT-influenced curricula would really change what you're doing as a parent, as much as it might change the information you have to make sure you supplement to them for a better picture. 

[Melissa Louise]

I think there is regression in acceptance. 

When I first met my ex, (we are visibly of different races - I am white European, he is dark brown Indian) - it was the era of the Benneton ad. All races are beautiful. No barriers between races. In my urban Anglo life, we encountered zero prejudice. Mixed relationships were quite normalised. We did deal with some prejudice from women within his community - there was some animus about a white girl 'taking' one of their own. 

(Race was an ongoing issue between us, however. I stayed in a marriage for a long time, partly because I made a million and one excuses for him on the basis of his racial oppression.)

However, while perhaps acceptance is growing in  other areas, in the urban, Anglo (and especially, younger and progressive) space, mixed relationships are viewed with suspicion. The non-Black partner is viewed as intrinsically oppressive, and likely fetishing  both her partner and her mixed children (or his).There's more than a hint of 'race traitor' directed at the partner of colour. Same race partnerships are viewed as more ethical, although general sense is that it remains problematic for white ppl to marry and have white families, because Whiteness. 

I do live adjacent to, and socialise in, particularly young, progressive and educated areas. So probably my experience is skewed.I live in a more traditional (working class, ethnically diverse, older) suburb, and we have never had a moment of concern re being a mixed race family. So there's that. 

But yeah, it's interesting. It's lucky I'm separated and my kids are grown, because I don't fancy the side eye every time I rock up at an arts event. 

 

 

[SKL]

57 minutes ago, Melissa Louise said:

I think there is regression in acceptance. 

When I first met my ex, (we are visibly of different races - I am white European, he is dark brown Indian) - it was the era of the Benneton ad. All races are beautiful. No barriers between races. In my urban Anglo life, we encountered zero prejudice. Mixed relationships were quite normalised. We did deal with some prejudice from women within his community - there was some animus about a white girl 'taking' one of their own. 

(Race was an ongoing issue between us, however. I stayed in a marriage for a long time, partly because I made a million and one excuses for him on the basis of his racial oppression.)

However, while perhaps acceptance is growing in  other areas, in the urban, Anglo (and especially, younger and progressive) space, mixed relationships are viewed with suspicion. The non-Black partner is viewed as intrinsically oppressive, and likely fetishing  both her partner and her mixed children (or his).There's more than a hint of 'race traitor' directed at the partner of colour. Same race partnerships are viewed as more ethical, although general sense is that it remains problematic for white ppl to marry and have white families, because Whiteness. 

I do live adjacent to, and socialise in, particularly young, progressive and educated areas. So probably my experience is skewed.I live in a more traditional (working class, ethnically diverse, older) suburb, and we have never had a moment of concern re being a mixed race family. So there's that. 

But yeah, it's interesting. It's lucky I'm separated and my kids are grown, because I don't fancy the side eye every time I rock up at an arts event.

Yeah, don't even get me started about what some "woke" people have said about interracial adoptions.

[Melissa Louise]

51 minutes ago, SKL said:

Yeah, don't even get me started about what some "woke" people have said about interracial adoptions.

I can see there are issues with both interracial adoption and biological interracial parenting that need careful consideration and considerable effort from the parent/s. 

That's very different from the current vibe where the family becomes a mere agent of oppression by virtue of their racial identities.

 

[Melissa Louise]

Just now, Plum said:

My blonde haired blue eyed step-sister has 4 kids with her divorced half-Japanese husband. They each have varying degrees of their mixed race showing. Her white daughter is engaged to a Black man. She was dating a Mexican. She has joked her family looks like Benneton commercial but because she is a conservative and pushes back on BLM she has been accused multiple times of being racist. 

I do think is some ways we're sliding backwards by separating ourselves into groups or identities. 

I think in any cross cultural relationship there are unique issues that need to be acknowledged and dealt with sensitively.

I'm clearly a dinosaur though - when I hear things like it's  actively racist to intermarry, because the white partner will always hold and exercise power over the partner who is a POC... I just don't know what to say about that. 

[SKL]

3 hours ago, Melissa Louise said:

I think in any cross cultural relationship there are unique issues that need to be acknowledged and dealt with sensitively.

I'm clearly a dinosaur though - when I hear things like it's  actively racist to intermarry, because the white partner will always hold and exercise power over the partner who is a POC... I just don't know what to say about that. 

Yeah I don't see it either.  My business partner is a POC, and neither she nor anyone else thinks her white partners hold the power, LOL.

When I was dating a man from China, it was a pretty equal relationship.  When I was dating a man from India, he was really big on being the dominant person in the relationship, to the point where it was downright scary.

And I definitely don't see my kids being bossed around, now or in the future, based on skin color.