Whispering: what can you tell me about Greek life?

[plansrme]

Geez, I am almost embarrassed to ask this. I was so un-Greek during my undergrad days, and I scoffed at it all--HARD. But I am trying to keep an open mind for my youngest, a rising senior, as he looks at colleges. He is not considering any schools that are overwhelmingly Greek, but yesterday we toured a Big State U that he, well, did not hate. It is the only big school on his list and about 30% Greek. So, did your kids (especially boys, although I would love to know about girls, too) pledge? For what kids did you think it was most useful? This is a straight-laced kid (yeah, yeah, I know, but he pretty much is), so he would not really be looking for wild parties, and this college's reputation is not that anyway (it's not Florida, for instance), but are there other advantages to Greek life?

And if we could pretend that I never asked this, I would appreciate it.

[Wheres Toto]

LOL, I was in a sorority in college and my oldest pledged a different sorority when she was in college.   I"m not into all the legacy stuff so I wouldn't have cared if she did or not, and don't care that she pledged a different one.  

I'm sure it varies from school to school, but many schools are much stricter at keeping control of hazing and crazy partying these days so the usual image of Greek Life isn't as accurate as it may have been.    My daughter's school didn't have houses so that also probably made a difference.   They did a lot of charity work, had grade requirements and did study groups and tutoring for each other, it led to some good networking connections, etc.   Overall, it probably didn't drastically change her experience at school except she had a larger group of friends she could count on.  She was still able to be involved in many other activities and clubs on campus and her particular school/sorority was extremely diverse so again, different from some of the stereotypes.   Her school doesn't allow pledging until sophomore year. 

[Lori D.]

No personal experience for anyone in our family. According to this article, there are five types of fraternities/sororities: social, service, professional, honors, religious or ethnic. Perhaps see if the campus has an honors fraternity, and do some research about it?

Edited June 8, 2021 by Lori D.

[teachermom2834]

My Ds not only was in a fraternity, he was president of it, and yes I hesitate to admit that. 
 

First of all, he went to a tiny school. Like 1500 undergrads on a good year. There were only three fraternities and only two had houses. The house ds lived in one year was on campus and only housed six students so it isn’t exactly an Animal House situation. Campus security would park outside during parties and the school activities board actually served pizza outside them. I think that was to get some food in people who were drinking and maybe just to have a presence and keep an eye on everyone and make sure people were safe. So this is not at all the same as fraternity life at big state U as I knew it. Ds says he could not have lasted a day in an SEC fraternity. In fact, as a “brother” he is supposed to be able to stay at any house on another campus when visiting but when at the University of Tennessee for a football weekend he never considered trying to crash at the house there because he wouldn’t have felt safe. So there is that. 
 

Now for the advantages- depending on what your ds plans to do, it really can be an advantage even though I think it is dumb. 🙂My ds is an accountant. He was also an athlete and he has said many times that he thought he landed internships and jobs simply because the hiring manager was an athlete/frat guy. So not fair, but I think it is real. At least in the location he lives. 
 

Early in his college career he was not planning on joining one. He was looking more into student government. He had an advising appointment and his advisor, a woman, told him he needed to join a frat. She told him that between being an athlete and in a fraternity he would have every door open to him career wise in Atlanta. He mentioned SGA instead of a frat and she said “no one goes back to campus ten years later to hang with the SGA folks”. He hasn’t taken advantage of it yet, but there are monthly meetings and networking events for fraternity members in Atlanta and they are a pretty successful bunch of people to be involved with. So for business, it probably does make sense.
 

So his experience was positive. However, ds feels that was specific to the small school mild version of fraternity life. My graduating senior is headed to big state U in the fall to study business and no one in the family is encouraging a fraternity.

 

Edited June 8, 2021 by teachermom2834

[Selkie]

No personal experience, but one negative I’ve heard from other parents is that fraternity or sorority life can be very time consuming, which makes it more difficult to keep up with academics. I’m sure that varies a lot, though.

[Lecka]

Positives are study hours, and knowing and mixing with upperclassmen who can give advice.  
 

I think these can be huge positives.  
 

I think it can make it a lot easier to say “I’m interested in this” and hear “these are good things to do,” than if say you are living in a freshman dorm and everybody is figuring it out for themselves.

 

At my university, some also kept test banks and essay banks, and they could go in a file cabinet and look at old tests and old graded papers for a class.  Supposedly, this is what they said!!!!!!!  
 

Lol.

 

I went to a school that sounds this way, was not in Greek and never wanted to be, but also I got along well with classmates who were involved, and I did not think they were like something out of Animal House.  
 

Edit:  certain fraternities had reputations as being more into partying, and other people might know that when someone said what fraternity they were in.  I never knew that kind of thing.  I did know they were not all ones with a reputation for partying, and that is the kind of thing people would know when they rushed.  

Edited June 8, 2021 by Lecka

[Lecka]

As someone who went to a school and was not in a Greek organization — there was a “Fraternity Row” and a “Sorority Row.”  I never went there and had no reason to go there.  I gravitated to a different area.  
 

I live in a town now with a Big 12 university, and it is the same.  There is an area near campus that is where most of the houses are located.  But there is much more to the university and social life than that area.

 

 

[whitestavern]

My D joined one, which completely surprised me, but it was not a party school and she never got to participate because she transferred out and her new school does not have that chapter. 

When she was looking, I do admit to spending some time on here: https://www.greekrank.com/ Not sure how accurate it is, but it kind of gives information on the rep of the different chapters at each school. I figure where there's smoke... but I took it with a grain of salt. 

ETA: have not read the responses, but it can be expensive.

Edited June 8, 2021 by whitestavern

[fourisenough]

I joined the same sorority my older sister was in (at the same school). It was nice to have an ‘automatic’ set of friends. I was President of my pledge class and later Service Chairperson. I think it enhanced my resume and leadership skills; my first internship was a direct result of an alumna connection. All that said, by senior year I was over it and de-activated. It was time consuming and expensive and I really just wanted to study, spend time with my boyfriend (DH), and get ready for grad school. 

[Eos]

nm

Edited June 9, 2021 by Harpymom

[Dmmetler]

Both DH and I were Alpha Phi Omega in college. It's a co-ed service fratermity and is nationally dry, does not have houses, but gives many of the social structure benefits, IMO. For a fairly introverted person, it made a big school much smaller. 

 

L has picked a college that does not have non-academic Greek organizations (basically Phi Beta Kappa and some subject area ones), but where they structure the dorm experience to provide social connections (and each year group has it's own color, mascot, Motto, picks a service project/philanthropy etc), and, as a Women's LAC has similar alumnae networking. Accepted students get a necklace charm and second years get their characteristic school ring. So in some ways, it feels like the whole school is essentially a sorority. 

[Starr]

I would really do your homework. In my experience of living around several universities and having lots of college students in and out of our house, most greek life comes with lots of alcohol in addition to anything else. 

[madteaparty]

Zero experience at all, none but all I can think about is that recent Cornell NY Times article.
But then I think of that article at least once a week. 

[bibiche]

1 hour ago, madteaparty said:

Zero experience at all, none but all I can think about is that recent Cornell NY Times article.
But then I think of that article at least once a week. 

Cornell got scratched from our list because of that article. It was disturbing.

[plansrme]

Thanks, everyone. I want to clarify that my son has not expressed any interest in rushing a fraternity. Because he has expressed a preference all along for a small school, though, I am sure someone is going to suggest rushing a fraternity to make this big one feel smaller. I just want to be prepared and open-minded (not usually a strength of mine) when it does. 

[Dmmetler]

10 hours ago, plansrme said:

Thanks, everyone. I want to clarify that my son has not expressed any interest in rushing a fraternity. Because he has expressed a preference all along for a small school, though, I am sure someone is going to suggest rushing a fraternity to make this big one feel smaller. I just want to be prepared and open-minded (not usually a strength of mine) when it does. 

I'd look at what other student orgs are available as well. It doesn't need to be a fraternity to provide that support. Living Learning Communities and similar set ups are designed for a similar purpose while in school, and most of the schools my senior considered had those. Some schools have special honors dorms for the same purpose. 

[Bootsie]

Greek life is going to vary significantly from campus-to-campus and then will vary across varies fraternities on the same campus.  DS's school was about 50% Greek.  DS was not Greek.  He did attend some of the rush events to decide whether or not he was interested.  I know students for whom Greek life was one of the most important experiences in college; I know students who were Greek but it wasn't a significant part of their college experience--they were more involved with frieds from their major, a sport, or another common interesting; I know students for who Greek life was a distraction and a negative experience of college life--and of the students I have seen over the years, it is probably about 1/3 in each of those categories.