Help with possibly turning down job offer-sticky situation

[I talk to the trees]

The daughter of a dear friend has sort of offered me a part time job (5-10 hrs per week) as she builds her tutoring business. I am very grateful for the offer, because I have been out of the workforce for nearly 20 years, and have literally no references, so this could be a good way for me to build contacts. Sounds good, but there's a bit of a problem. I say “tutoring business,” because she is tutoring students/ helping parents learn how to help their kids, but the business is more focused on the “brain health” of the students, and the definition of “brain health” comes directly from Daniel Amen, complete with a line of supplements for any problems the student might be facing.

Now I'm all for supplements when there is scientific evidence to back them, and even (in some cases) when the evidence is mostly anecdotal. (I keep peppermint oil around for my migraines, for example, because I know that a couple drops on my temples and neck will keep me from advancing to the projectile vomiting stage. Sorry, probably tmi.) But everything I have read about this Amen guy leads me to believe that his treatments are mostly woo and placebo based, and the whole SPECT thing sounds like a crock of hooey. 
 

I am meeting with the daughter at 1 this afternoon, and I desperately need tactful, gentle ways to get myself out of the job if it involves anything more than Zoom conferences with students to help them with their academics. I don’t want to appear ungrateful, and I don’t want to damage my relationship with my friend, who has been very supportive with all of the garbage with dh over the past year or so, and is really just trying to be helpful by suggesting to her daughter that I need a job.

So! Oh wise and tactful hive, how do I gently tell the daughter (who is nearly my age) that I can tutor but not peddle snake oil? 

 

[TravelingChris]

WHy do you think SPECT is a bunch of hooey?  You don't believe in MRIs and PET scans?  I haven't read anything by Dr. Amen for a long time but his idea that many conditions like ADHD- are actually a group of conditions lumped together seems reasonable--- after all, even the DSM has three varieties listed.

Before I decided whether I would want to do the tutoring, I would want to get some things clear.  One of these was I going to be tutoring or tutoring and selling supplements?  I do not think a tutoring service should be involved in supplements.  If these kids had already been to the Amen clinics and had been advised to take whatever and I was just tutoring or maybe tutoring with metronome or fidgity balls, etc, I would be fine.  Secondly, I would want to know what she means by brain health/

 

[SKL]

"I love the idea of academic tutoring, but I'm totally not qualified to dispense brain health advice.  Will the position be strictly tutoring?"

["Oh don't worry, you can learn, I have all the materials ..."]

"No really, I am totally not qualified on the brain health side.  I would not feel right dispensing health advice or services."

[TechWife]

“I don’t think this is a good match for me. Thank you so much for thinking of me.” 
 

Why?

”A traditional tutoring program is more in line with my philosophy and skill set. I can tell you’re passionate about what you do & I wish you the best.” 

[J-rap]

"Thanks for thinking of me and offering me this job.  That means a lot to me and I'd like to learn more about it to see if it's a good fit."

Then if you decide it's probably not a good fit:

"That sounds like a great opportunity.  I'll be honest and say that although I'd love to tutor, I wouldn't feel comfortable advising a particular health product.  Nothing against the product, but I'd prefer to keep the tutoring separate from that.  Is that a possibility?"

If not:

"Well, I think I'd better decline then, even though it sounds like fun.  Again, thanks for thinking of me.  I hope it goes well for you!"

 

Edited June 4, 2021 by J-rap

[I talk to the trees]

1 hour ago, TravelingChris said:

WHy do you think SPECT is a bunch of hooey?  You don't believe in MRIs and PET scans?  I haven't read anything by Dr. Amen for a long time but his idea that many conditions like ADHD- are actually a group of conditions lumped together seems reasonable

 

Oh, I do think that brain scans have a place in medicine!  It's just that we have newer, safer (MRI, for example) methods of scanning for actual disease/damage, and the lack of peer-reviewed research just doesn’t sit well with me. Also, the process seems to be 1) Amen clinic administers a “before” scan, 2) Amen clinic sells you a bunch of their brand of supplements, 3) Amen clinics administers an “after” scan wherein they tell you that you have made amazing progress with their supplements. I guess I feel like if this is something that is really producing positive results, we would see its use by more than just one doctor out there, especially when that one doctor claims to have the “cures” in the form of his own label of supplements. 

Edited June 4, 2021 by I talk to the trees
Misplaced apostrophe- aaaaack!

[Jenny in Florida]

Disclosure: I know literally nothing about the program or supplements you mentioned.

With that out of the way . . . 

While I do think it would be possible to approach this as others have suggested--just stating up front that you are only comfortable/qualified to do the academic tutoring--I wonder whether you're going to be comfortable working for her if the program you would be supporting relies heavily on products you don't believe it?

I know when I was working for one of those big, franchised tutoring companies, I started getting uncomfortable and unhappy being a cog in the machine of an organization that pressured parents into spending tons of money--and even taking out loans--to pay for services that I wasn't always convinced were valuable or necessary. I realized early on that I had no interest in climbing the ladder or moving into administration, because even overhearing the customer recruitment (sales pitch) meetings made me feel so icky. 

I enjoyed working with the kids and did feel like I was helpful to some of them, but I was also very relieved to quit when another opportunity arose.

[I talk to the trees]

Well, as it turns out, I need not have worried. All the gal really needs is what she calls an administrative assistant (and I call a gopher)- just drawing up fliers, running errands, etc...Sadly, no actually tutoring, but that’s ok too.  It's a good opportunity for me to get myself back into the “real world” so I decided to do it after all. Especially since dd is out of the house again, I really need something to do, and as much as I would like to be a full time spinner, there just aren’t that many people who want yarn spun from their dog's combings! 
 

Thanks for the replies, though. I was really anxious that I would have to say something that might make my friend upset. 

Edited June 4, 2021 by I talk to the trees

[katilac]

5 minutes ago, I talk to the trees said:

Well, as it turns out, I need not have worried. All the gal really needs is what she calls an administrative assistant (and I call a gopher)- just drawing up fliers, running errands, etc...Sadly, no actually tutoring, but that’s ok too.  It's a good opportunity for me to get back into get myself back into the “real world” so I decided to do it after all. Especially since dd is out of the house again, I really need something to do, and as much as I would like to be a full time spinner, there just aren’t that many people who want yarn spun from their dog's combings! 
 

Thanks for the replies, though. I was really anxious that I would have to say something that might make my friend upset. 

If you actually want to tutor, start reading up on ACT/test prep. I could fill as many slots as I desired with that. I personally find it really boring, but it does pay well. Small group classes are more fun, but harder to rearrange if you get sick or leave town. 

Edited June 4, 2021 by katilac