Is it cheesy to throw your own graduation celebration?

[AbcdeDooDah]

I just invited all my kids to get together to celebrate my graduation with my AA. Thirty years after I started. I’m pretty darn proud of myself and want to celebrate. Now I feel embarrassed. Dh has not been very supportive of me going back to school and has not planned anything. I feel like when I tell him, he’ll get defensive and ask if he was supposed to plan something. I don’t want to be passive-aggresive, I just want to celebrate. 

[Lawyer&Mom]

Either plan your own party, or tell Dh exactly what party you want and that you want him to plan it.  If he doesn’t get on board, plan your own party. Don’t give him an opportunity to disappoint you on such a wonderful occasion.  Nothing cheesy about throwing your own party. 

[MooCow]

My first response (& I apologize upfront-but..)

Darn diddly right I'll be throwing myself a party and if certain persons in my family make a fuss, they can't come.

Congratulations to you!!!

PS I'd absolutely do it myself so that I can control it. I have passive aggressive people in my life that would love to mess it up.

Edited June 4, 2021 by MooCow

[PeterPan]

9 minutes ago, AbcdeDooDah said:

I just want to celebrate. 

If they don't seem excited enough, then go BIGGER!! Take a cruise!! You definitely deserve to celebrate. All the way. 

[Arcadia]

Congrats!!! Throw yourself a party. Just invite your husband as a guest, just like your kids are guests. You could just tell him gifts are not required.

My husband is not the kind who plans party. He would be happy to eat leftover party food. My husband would think buying a gift is expected unless I tell him otherwise.

[TechWife]

Congratulations! No, it’s not at all cheesy to throw your own graduation party! Have fun! 

[Catwoman]

Another vote to GO FOR IT!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!  You deserve a party!!!

[AbcdeDooDah]

Thanks, everyone! I am going to keep the plans and not feel bad about doing it for myself. 🎉

[fraidycat]

Congratulations! And great job!

No, it's not cheesy to throw your own party. You deserve to celebrate.

[Denise in IN]

Congratulations on your accomplishment!  You should definitely throw your own party, it's definitely worth celebrating!

[Jean in Newcastle]

Of course you can invite your kids to celebrate with you!  Congratulations on your AA!

[Amira]

Congratulations!

[Kassia]

Congratulations!  Definitely do something to celebrate your accomplishment!  🙂

[Guest]

DO IT! 

I also graduated with an AA late in life. I went to the ceremony to walk the stage. I felt disappointed about my husband’s behavior, too, because he came for the ceremony with one of my sons but left before the end to make kid’s baseball practice. I came off the stage looking for my people and only my daughter was there because she could drive independently.  I felt hurt that he didnt make an exception on sports for something I was so proud of. I felt very minimized. 

[historically accurate]

Congratulations to you! Enjoy your party - you deserve it.

[QueenCat]

Have the party!!!

[TheReader]

Definitely have the party!!! Congratulations, too; that's an accomplishment to be proud of for sure! 

[history-fan]

Congratulations-Give yourself an awesome party-well deserved!!!!  And have fun!

[EKS]

You should totally give a party for yourself!  Congratulations!

[elegantlion]

Congratulations!!! Have the party, you deserve it. 🎉

[Ali in OR]

This is so worth celebrating. Congratulations, and enjoy your party!

[Pam in CT]

Nope, not cheesy, many congratulations!!  and enjoy your party.

 

 

[AbcdeDooDah]

6 hours ago, Quill said:

DO IT! 

I also graduated with an AA late in life. I went to the ceremony to walk the stage. I felt disappointed about my husband’s behavior, too, because he came for the ceremony with one of my sons but left before the end to make kid’s baseball practice. I came off the stage looking for my people and only my daughter was there because she could drive independently.  I felt hurt that he didnt make an exception on sports for something I was so proud of. I felt very minimized. 

I’m sorry. I totally get that feeling.

After I told him about it last night it went exactly how I thought it would. Oh, well.

No ceremony, which feels a little disappointing, but the school is doing an online slide show. I will walk in two years after my BA! 🎉

 

[Kareni]

Congratulations, @AbcdeDooDah! Enjoy your celebration.

Regards,

Kareni

[pinball]

13 hours ago, AbcdeDooDah said:

I just invited all my kids to get together to celebrate my graduation with my AA. Thirty years after I started. I’m pretty darn proud of myself and want to celebrate. Now I feel embarrassed. Dh has not been very supportive of me going back to school and has not planned anything. I feel like when I tell him, he’ll get defensive and ask if he was supposed to plan something. I don’t want to be passive-aggresive, I just want to celebrate. 

That’s awesome!!! Great job!

i think it is fine to throw yourself a party...for any reason, LOL...but it is definitely OK to throw yourself a grad party!

i hope you have a wonderful time!

if you feel like sharing, what did you get your degree in?

[theelfqueen]

I think it is AWESOME! You deserve to celebrate! 

[alisoncooks]

I agree. Throw yourself a bash. Or, if everyone else is pooing on your big day and putting a damper on the fun, take yourself (just you, yourself) out for a fancy dinner!

[AbcdeDooDah]

23 minutes ago, pinball said:

That’s awesome!!! Great job!

i think it is fine to throw yourself a party...for any reason, LOL...but it is definitely OK to throw yourself a grad party!

i hope you have a wonderful time!

if you feel like sharing, what did you get your degree in?

Criminal Justice. I want to be a victim advocate.

[pinball]

18 minutes ago, AbcdeDooDah said:

Criminal Justice. I want to be a victim advocate.

That’s is so cool!

im proud of you!

[hippymamato3]

I don't think it could ever be cheesy to invite your kids to celebrate your accomplishments (or anything else.) I bet they are very proud! I hope you are inviting friends too!

Edited June 4, 2021 by hippymamato3

[Kanin]

Congratulations!!! You definitely deserve a celebration. 🎉  Sorry your husband isn't being supportive. 

[HS Mom in NC]

Everybody chant with me: Throw it! Throw it! Throw it! Throw it! Throw it!

[klmama]

Party, of course!  If you have party poopers in your life, well, that's their problem.  You still get to do it up right, whatever that looks like for you.  Go for it!

[AbcdeDooDah]

13 minutes ago, Seasider too said:

That’s so interesting! What’s your next step towards achieving this goal?

I'm transferring to a 4-year in the fall. I will need to seek out a volunteer opportunity in crisis/advocacy while I work on my BA. Many places hire from their volunteer force, or I can apply to a county court system.

[happi duck]

Congrats!!

[happi duck]

Defensive husbands...ugh...btdt...

[Pam in CT]

re victim advocacy

19 hours ago, AbcdeDooDah said:

Criminal Justice. I want to be a victim advocate.

 

18 hours ago, AbcdeDooDah said:

I'm transferring to a 4-year in the fall. I will need to seek out a volunteer opportunity in crisis/advocacy while I work on my BA. Many places hire from their volunteer force, or I can apply to a county court system.

That is WONDERFUL.  I'm having a little virtual party over here on your behalf. 

Well done, and good luck on the next stage of your program.

[Faith-manor]

I don't think it is cheesy. It is a celebration of a major achievement.

I had an incomplete general sciences minor from 33 years ago. I have my B.A. in both music ed and piano performance, and a minor in philosophy, but missed two classes towards completion of the science minor which was my other passion at that time, and still is. So in the summer of 2020, I called my alma mater and talked with them about the possibility of completing it, what it would take, if my credits from way back then would still be counted, etc. Apparently, they were more than happy to take in some tuition and fees! LOL. I thought they would say no. Credits were not an issue since so had graduated with a BA, and had also taught middle school science at some private schools off and on over the years. So we found two online classes that would meet the requirements, I took those (and they even discounted tuition which makes me think that they were lookIng at not filling all their freshman spots for fall and were thinking just get money, any money) and voila, minor was complete. Then I followed up just for fun with two aerospace engineering courses from another university. Holy cow! After years of being out of school and 32 + years since Calc 1, those classes kicked my tush. But, I not only passed, I worked my tail off and earned A's. This was just huge to me. Huge! I wanted to have a party because to me, this was just a really happy, difficult achievement! The pandemic prevented me from having anything remotely close to a party. However, dh made steak and snow crab legs, baked potato, roasted garlicky green beans, and GF cheesecake for me, and one of our collegians was home at the time so I guess we will call it a three person party. As a side note, I am still taking coursework just for fun, just for personal enrichment, and my favorite so far as been a human space exploration and ethics course.

I think you should do what makes you happy. This world is a really place a lot of the time, and we have been socially conditioned, we women, to be in constant give mode while downplaying our own achievements and ignoring our own needs. We all need to stop doing to that, and find joy for ourselves. We are healthier members of society when we have more balance in perspective and less worry about what others think.