What dumb thoughts are you willing to share?

[Carrie12345]

I don’t want to feel alone, lol.

Dd had a dentist appointment scheduled for today.  Last night, she had a strange high fever for a couple of hours, and then was fine. I told her to call them in the morning because they ask about fevers and all that. (She is fully vaccinated, but still.). Her dentist is fully booked way out, so she rescheduled for months from now.

I started thinking that she should call back to specify she’d take any cancellations, but realized she can’t do that because of her work schedule. But that wasn’t the dumb thing.  For a brief moment, my brain was like, “Well, I know the dentist has a cancellation TODAY... can’t we take that?”

It only lasted a second but, yeah, I thought it was a good idea for my daughter to try to get the appointment she was forced to cancel.

[Laura Corin]

I remember standing at a cheese stall in rural France, noticing that the cheese I was looking at was cow's milk cheese, and saying to my friend, 'Oh, that's unusual, I'll try that.'

[kbutton]

This is making me feel better on a brainless day. I didn't get an answer about changing appointment times and realized that means I don't know if I missed an appointment this morning or not. I should've followed up yesterday.

[Junie]

Years ago I was filling out participation certificates for a children's group at church.  One of my daughters was in the group.  I wrote her first name and completely blanked on her last name for a moment.

 

[Pawz4me]

1 minute ago, Junie said:

Years ago I was filling out participation certificates for a children's group at church.  One of my daughters was in the group.  I wrote her first name and completely blanked on her last name for a moment.

 

I blank out on my boys' birthdays all the time. They're grown now, but when they were young and I made medical appointments for them I'd always write down their birthday (and sometimes I'd even write the name of which one I was making the appointment for) so I wouldn't embarrass myself by either blanking out or giving the wrong birthday.

[Home'scool]

One time we had friends over who had just come back from a cruise. They were talking about how they took a banana boat ride off the back of a boat. Before I could stop my mouth, I said "off the back of the cruise ship?!" 

I was so embarrassed! Imagine being towed on an inflatable banana behind a cruise ship! 

 

[saraha]

5 minutes ago, Pawz4me said:

I blank out on my boys' birthdays all the time. They're grown now, but when they were young and I made medical appointments for them I'd always write down their birthday (and sometimes I'd even write the name of which one I was making the appointment for) so I wouldn't embarrass myself by either blanking out or giving the wrong birthday.

Glad to know I’m not the only one. Last time I looked right at the kid and whispered, when is your birthday?!? 😆

[Junie]

Oh, and once I took a child to a new doctor and when they asked for her name I said, "Heather".  Not only is that not her name, I don't even have a Heather.  

With five girls, I could understand sometimes giving the wrong child's name, but I have no idea how I pulled a random name out of my head like that.

Now when I take this child to the doctor she will sometimes whisper to me, "Remember that my name isn't Heather." lol.

[TheReader]

Speaking of forgetting dates.....at my End of the Year party for my 2nd grade class (I teach at a homeschool co-op, K, 1st, & 2nd), one of the moms asked me how long I'd been married. I could NOT remember if it was 23 or 24 yrs and just sat there, dumbfounded, thinking...."wait, I know this....why don't I know this...???"  We had a good laugh about it, I eventually remembered, but....sheesh! "Yes, I teach your daughter, don't you feel you've made a good choice...??" 

Along *those* lines, at one of our Open House events, I was deep in conversation with a new parent inquiring about my classes, and another woman came up, and she looked *so familiar* but I couldn't figure out why. So I asked.  Her daughter is in my class. Oh my word.  "No, really, I *do* know who my kids and their parents are, really! You can trust me with your child, I promise!"  

[saraha]

5 minutes ago, Junie said:

Oh, and once I took a child to a new doctor and when they asked for her name I said, "Heather".  Not only is that not her name, I don't even have a Heather.  

With five girls, I could understand sometimes giving the wrong child's name, but I have no idea how I pulled a random name out of my head like that.

Now when I take this child to the doctor she will sometimes whisper to me, "Remember that my name isn't Heather." lol.

I love this 💕

[ericathemom]

Years ago I had a heart issue that occasionally landed me in the local ER (it's all fixed now). That was the same time that we were considering trying for a fourth child. So, every month I'd calculate how old I'd be 9 months from then. One time when in the ER, they asked how old I was and I told them. It took me overhearing the nurses tell each other about the patient who's age didn't match her birth date in her records for me to figure out my mistake. Even when my birthday finally came around, I felt like I had already been that "calculated" age for a while.

[Scarlett]

23 minutes ago, Junie said:

Oh, and once I took a child to a new doctor and when they asked for her name I said, "Heather".  Not only is that not her name, I don't even have a Heather.  

With five girls, I could understand sometimes giving the wrong child's name, but I have no idea how I pulled a random name out of my head like that.

Now when I take this child to the doctor she will sometimes whisper to me, "Remember that my name isn't Heather." lol.

You win the prize.  I laughed so hard I was crying at this one.   🙂

 

[Jean in Newcastle]

One birthday recently I realized that I had thought I was a year older for the last year. So I “repeated” a year. 

[Carrie12345]

32 minutes ago, Pawz4me said:

I blank out on my boys' birthdays all the time. They're grown now, but when they were young and I made medical appointments for them I'd always write down their birthday (and sometimes I'd even write the name of which one I was making the appointment for) so I wouldn't embarrass myself by either blanking out or giving the wrong birthday.

I try to justify this every time I stumble, which just makes the interaction longer and more uncomfortable. 
I have two kids born in May. One shares the date number with a kid born in July. July’s is just one year off the other May kid. And then there are two kids and my anniversary on the 18th of three different months.   It’s all a trap!

[athena1277]

35 minutes ago, Carrie12345 said:

I try to justify this every time I stumble, which just makes the interaction longer and more uncomfortable. 
I have two kids born in May. One shares the date number with a kid born in July. July’s is just one year off the other May kid. And then there are two kids and my anniversary on the 18th of three different months.   It’s all a trap!

My oldest dd’s birthday is the day after mine.  I’m honestly surprised that I haven’t mixed them up more often.

[kbutton]

47 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

One birthday recently I realized that I had thought I was a year older for the last year. So I “repeated” a year. 

I was 38 two years in a row for exactly this reason. I am still sometimes fuzzy on how old I am, lol. 

[denarii]

I used to work with a woman whose daughter was named Jane.

While on the phone with a client I had this conversation:

Client: ....oh, hey. Is this Jane's mom?

Me: yup, this is Jane's mother.... wait.... no! This is NOT Jane's mother! Omg, I have no idea why I said that 🤦‍♀️

All while standing next to Jane's actual mother who was cracking up so hard she couldn't talk. Oops

 

Or there was the time I had newborn twins. l woke up one night and thought I was holding one so went to put that baby in the bassinet and found myself looking down at two sleeping babies. Thinking I wwas actually holding a baby I freaked out! I thought I actually had triplets and had forgotten about one. I was, in fact, hugging my own breasts 🤦‍♀️ At least I can blame sleep deprivation on that one 🙄

[Junie]

I could probably fill this thread with dumb thoughts that my brain has had:

One morning I woke up when dh's alarm went off.  The very first thing I said to him: Why doesn't gasoline freeze?

Neither of us was quite awake and he had no idea how to answer my question.

 

[barnwife]

14 minutes ago, athena1277 said:

My oldest dd’s birthday is the day after mine.  I’m honestly surprised that I haven’t mixed them up more often.

DD's bday is the day before one of DH's bdays. One of DH's birthdays? Yes. You see, for a not small amount of his childhood, he/his family thought his birthday was a certain date. Then, his parents needed his birth certificate for something. And lo and behold, his birthday is actually the day before what they thought.

So I don't feel bad at all when I mix up our 5 kids birthdays. 

[busymama7]

I went into labor with my now 13 year old on a day that had a nice number pattern/sound to it.  I thought hey that's a great birthday.  He was born after midnight however.   I still give his birthday wrong sometimes 🙄

Once I was at homeschool park day with my kids then 1,3, 5 and 6. I looked around to do the headcount and then gasped and said where's (youngest). My friends started laughing and pointed out that he was currently breastfeeding 🤣

[PeterPan]

I put my ds' birthday down incorrectly on a legal form applying for a gov't scholarship. Still haven't lived that down with him.

 

[TravelingChris]

I have sometimes gotten dh and dd2 birhtday dates confused before- they are both born in Dec and 4 days apart.

[Ali in OR]

I love this whole thread. Thanks for the laughs!

Here's a little one. We stayed at a Great Wolf Lodge while visiting colleges (yes, we discovered it way beyond the optimal age). I loved the wolf-ear headbands my teens got, and while my youngest was wearing hers, older sister was not. So I asked her, "Why aren't you wearing your wolf ears?" and she replied, "Because YOU'RE wearing them." And so I was.

[Katy]

I can’t think of anything else right now, but I’ve had my moments. I write down the names of the doctor, the child’s name and birthdate, and their symptoms before I make a medical call because I can’t count on my brain remembering any of it when asked. Last night I watched this & this thread reminded me of it:

 

[Paige]

Once I was at a restaurant where the menu said "All drinks below $2." And I asked the waiter what the specific prices were...like, "I know they're less than $2, but what's the actual price for each?"  His look... 🤣

 

[Jean in Newcastle]

7 minutes ago, Paige said:

Once I was at a restaurant where the menu said "All drinks below $2." And I asked the waiter what the specific prices were...like, "I know they're less than $2, but what's the actual price for each?"  His look... 🤣

 

In your defense, they should have written "All drinks listed below are $2" but they were too cheap to add two more words! 

[Scarlett]

40 minutes ago, denarii said:

I used to work with a woman whose daughter was named Jane.

While on the phone with a client I had this conversation:

Client: ....oh, hey. Is this Jane's mom?

Me: yup, this is Jane's mother.... wait.... no! This is NOT Jane's mother! Omg, I have no idea why I said that 🤦‍♀️

All while standing next to Jane's actual mother who was cracking up so hard she couldn't talk. Oops

 

Or there was the time I had newborn twins. l woke up one night and thought I was holding one so went to put that baby in the bassinet and found myself looking down at two sleeping babies. Thinking I wwas actually holding a baby I freaked out! I thought I actually had triplets and had forgotten about one. I was, in fact, hugging my own breasts 🤦‍♀️ At least I can blame sleep deprivation on that one 🙄

LOL, Ok you are Running a tight race with @Junie  Hilarious. LOL

[rebcoola]

I know say and do plenty of dumb things.  The one that lives and is told all the time is this time I couldn't say the word faux pas.  I was talking to my DH and tried to say that was quite the faux pas and instead said poo fa, than like fapoo I tried like 4 times.  Before just dying in giggles.  Don't know what glitched out that day but I have never lived it down.

[Scarlett]

At work I looked down at the caller ID and it said something 'Delivery'. So I promptly answered the phone, '<Name of Business> Delivery'.  The customer did not even notice.  But I was about to fall out of my chair laughing at myself.

[rebcoola]

Oh I just remembered a doozy.  The last Mother's day before Covid. Myself, my oldest and my youngest went out to brunch with my mom.  At the time oldest was 12 but fully developed and youngest was just a few months old.  The waiter asked if their were 4 generations at the table both my mother and I said Yes.  ODD just starts laughing and says no that's my sister I didn't get knocked up at 11.

[Scarlett]

42 minutes ago, busymama7 said:

 

Once I was at homeschool park day with my kids then 1,3, 5 and 6. I looked around to do the headcount and then gasped and said where's (youngest). My friends started laughing and pointed out that he was currently breastfeeding 🤣

My mom has a story like this.  She and most of her siblings were on the porch playing.  Their mother comes to the screen door and asked 'where's the baby?'  They just stared at her dumbfounded, which caused her to panic and yell, 'where is the  baby!!??'  Momma, baby is in your arms.  LOL

[Jean in Newcastle]

I don't know if this is a dumb thought but it is a dumb situation that I allowed to happen.  I logged onto our local social media with my official name (which is not the name I actually go by).  I figured that it would give me anonymity.  Only I have not been anonymous.  People I have never formally met in town somehow seem to know who I am - by this online name. .  And in person, people have refused to change to my preferred name (don't get me started on that one - but I have tried and tried and have now just given up).  So now when I meet someone in my town and they ask me my name I often hesitate.  Which name should I give?  Who am I?  I get some weird looks when I'm stammering over a simple request for my name.  Maybe they think that I'm in witness protection or something!  Or I am trying to remember which alias I'm using now!  (I would make a very bad spy.) 

[Tiberia]

For all of my childhood and much of my adult life, I thought that giraffes ate fish.

It was only when I was in my late 30's that I realized that their tongues look like fish. 

[Scarlett]

3 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

I don't know if this is a dumb thought but it is a dumb situation that I allowed to happen.  I logged onto our local social media with my official name (which is not the name I actually go by).  I figured that it would give me anonymity.  Only I have not been anonymous.  People I have never formally met in town somehow seem to know who I am - by this online name. .  And in person, people have refused to change to my preferred name (don't get me started on that one - but I have tried and tried and have now just given up).  So now when I meet someone in my town and they ask me my name I often hesitate.  Which name should I give?  Who am I?  I get some weird looks when I'm stammering over a simple request for my name.  Maybe they think that I'm in witness protection or something!  Or I am trying to remember which alias I'm using now!  (I would make a very bad spy.) 

I have a similar problem in that I have a given name that I mostly use for everything and then I have 2 nicknames that various people know me by.  So when someone asks my name I have to 'gauge the audience' .  

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

I was an innocent bystander for this one...

One friend says to another, I saw a squid at the wharf that someone caught.  It was this long. (demonstrates with hands)

Other friend responds, "Whoa, that's really long!  Was that with or without the testicles?"

I fell over laughing.  We were all about 13 at the time.  

 

 

 

[Drama Llama]

You know that thread for people being outside for 1,000 hours?  So, in my head that was a thread for people whose goal was to stay outside for 1,000 in one month.  We spend a lot of time outside, but that still seemed kind of ambitious so I didn't join.

Yes, I teach math for a living.   No, I wasn't imagining that @Ottakeehas a time turner like Hermione Granger.  Sometimes my brain doesn't work. 

[Kanin]

58 minutes ago, rebcoola said:

I know say and do plenty of dumb things.  The one that lives and is told all the time is this time I couldn't say the word faux pas.  I was talking to my DH and tried to say that was quite the faux pas and instead said poo fa, than like fapoo I tried like 4 times.  Before just dying in giggles.  Don't know what glitched out that day but I have never lived it down.

I like both of these better than the real thing! 😄 

[KungFuPanda]

I spent the entire year I was 47 thinking I was 48, so I ended up being 48 for two years. 
 

Yesterday I went to a doctors appointment a week early. 

[Kassia]

I sent my kids to a birthday part a week early and I also sent them to the wrong house for a birthday party (my son told me it was "Ryan's" birthday and I was thinking it was a different Ryan).  Both times we got lucky and no one was home when they showed up with gifts at the wrong time/place and DH was with them since he drove.

The awkward part with the Ryan issue is then I had to call the other Ryan's house and awkwardly ask if they were having a birthday party that day.  

 

[TheReader]

46 minutes ago, Monica_in_Switzerland said:

I was an innocent bystander for this one...

One friend says to another, I saw a squid at the wharf that someone caught.  It was this long. (demonstrates with hands)

Other friend responds, "Whoa, that's really long!  Was that with or without the testicles?"

I fell over laughing.  We were all about 13 at the time.  

 

 

 

oh, I have two like that! 

When I was a young teen, I was in the backseat of the car with some friends, and we were all singing along to the radio.  Friend A looks over at me and says, "you're flat." To which I looked down at my chest in dismay, and acknowledged, "Yea, I know...."  My friend got confused, then realized what I meant, and said, "No, I mean...your singing voice....you're flat."   Which is equally true. 

Then, in college, a friend had a clematis vine, which she'd told me the name of exactly one time (I being very much not a gardener, any more than I am a singer).  A male friend was with me at her apartment (waiting outside, because, Christian college) and asked the name of the plant. To which I piped up with something very *not* clematis nor plant-like, but which starts & ends the same and is a part of the female anatomy that you'd think maybe I'd have heard of/known (although, coming from a school in the Bible belt, you know, we don't actually teach those things, so....). 

My female friend burst into uncontrollable laughter, my male friend got a horrified, embarrassed look on his face, stammered a bit, and one or the other of them said, "I'm pretty sure you mean clematis...." to which I (honestly at this point dumbfounded, because I was only vaguely aware of what I'd actually said) said, "oh, right, of course....." and pretended like I knew what was going on. 

I am forever putting my foot in my mouth with stuff like that, though. 

[Drama Llama]

1 minute ago, TheReader said:

oh, I have two like that! 

When I was a young teen, I was in the backseat of the car with some friends, and we were all singing along to the radio.  Friend A looks over at me and says, "you're flat." To which I looked down at my chest in dismay, and acknowledged, "Yea, I know...."  My friend got confused, then realized what I meant, and said, "No, I mean...your singing voice....you're flat."   Which is equally true. 

Then, in college, a friend had a clematis vine, which she'd told me the name of exactly one time (I being very much not a gardener, any more than I am a singer).  A male friend was with me at her apartment (waiting outside, because, Christian college) and asked the name of the plant. To which I piped up with something very *not* clematis nor plant-like, but which starts & ends the same and is a part of the female anatomy that you'd think maybe I'd have heard of/known (although, coming from a school in the Bible belt, you know, we don't actually teach those things, so....). 

My female friend burst into uncontrollable laughter, my male friend got a horrified, embarrassed look on his face, stammered a bit, and one or the other of them said, "I'm pretty sure you mean clematis...." to which I (honestly at this point dumbfounded, because I was only vaguely aware of what I'd actually said) said, "oh, right, of course....." and pretended like I knew what was going on. 

I am forever putting my foot in my mouth with stuff like that, though. 

A student of mine once told me, very emphatically, that her new brother in law was a prostitute but that her parents "liked him anyway".  Turned out he was a Protestant.  

[Jenny in Florida]

3 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

One birthday recently I realized that I had thought I was a year older for the last year. So I “repeated” a year. 

I often end up a year ahead of myself, for some reason.

The only way I reliably know how old I am is by remembering that I was 30 when I had our daughter. I usually know how old she is, so I just add 30 to calculate my own age. 

[Scarlett]

I have told this one  before but it is funny.   And it illustrates that if I would just keep quiet I would  not tune people into the fact that I am indeed a goofball.  

I worked in an office, in a cube.  They were patching the carpet.  This very tough looking female worker comes into my area to patch a spot.  In dismay I see she has a 1970's bright orange shag carpet piece with her.  She sets about cutting out the old piece of BLUE carpet, and the entire time I am thinking, 'man it would look better to just leave it alone than change it out to orange.'  About that time she takes her glue gun out and lays it....on the orange piece of carpet which was apparently (not to me!) just a scrap she was using to protect the carpet.  She inserted a matching piece of blue carpet into the hole.

Oh, but could I just be quiet?  No.  I said, rather loudly and rather excitedly, 'oh!  You were just using the orange carpet to put your glue gun on!  Yeah, that is a good idea.....the blue looks really good with....the blue.'  She looked at me like I was from another planet.

SHM.  AND all my co workers heard me.  And they laughed.  A lot.

[Jenny in Florida]

1 hour ago, Scarlett said:

My mom has a story like this.  She and most of her siblings were on the porch playing.  Their mother comes to the screen door and asked 'where's the baby?'  They just stared at her dumbfounded, which caused her to panic and yell, 'where is the  baby!!??'  Momma, baby is in your arms.  LOL

My husband did that once while carrying our daughter. She was probably 3 or 4 and our son was an infant. At the time, we did not own a car because we lived in a place that had plentiful public transportation (and not a lot of free parking). We had been out for the day and were getting off the bus when my husband looked at me in absolute panic and yelled, "Where's [Daughter's Name]?"

My first impulse was to panic, too, and I was already looking around frantically when I noticed she was in his arms. 

[lauraw4321]

I’ve bought my middle daughter the wrong summer workbook two years in a row now.  She just finished 4th. I know this. Yet I got her the 5-6 summer book.  Did the same thing last summer. No clue why!?

[LucyStoner]

Earlier this spring I got an email with the words “action required” and Progressive in the subject line.  I opened it because Progressive carries our car and rental insurance policies. When I opened the message, I saw a picture of Bernie Sanders.  I then spend an embarrassingly long few moments wonder why Bernie Sanders was emailing me about my insurance policies.  Of course, the email was political spam fundraising aimed at progressives, not actually connected to my insurance company at all.  That totally didn’t click for me and I was instead wondering if Sanders was now shilling for an insurance company.  And the “required action” was of course a totally ignorable survey and pitch for money.  🤣

Edited June 2, 2021 by LucyStoner

[WildflowerMom]

Last week I called the orthopedist to make an appt for my shoulder that's been hurting for months.  She asked which shoulder it was and I said 'I don't know'.  And there was a good 5 seconds of dead air because I was trying to figure it out in my head.  I said 'hold on, let me see'.  I can't ever figure out left and right so I had to pretend to write and that let me know it's the right shoulder, so when I replied 'right' she started laughing.   I don't think she realized what a bind that question would put me in.    A friend and I went to a nascar race and coming back on a busy interstate, she asked me to navigate.   I couldn't say right or left fast enough obviously, so I just took to yelling, 'inside! Inside!' or 'Outside!' when she needed to get over.  It worked.  🤷🏻‍♀️

[bolt.]

I once took my kids to a preschool birthday party at a gymnastics party location either a week early or a week late. I also arrived late. There were kids already playing, but I couldn't find the birthday family. By the time the people at the desk had checked and confirmed that my intended party was another day I had already been greeted by several other moms -- who I was *sure* I knew, and who seem to have been expecting me. Between the embarassment-panic and utter disorientation, I ended up hiding in the tiny washroom with two preschoolers to have a good cry. 

It turns out that I had arrived in the middle of the party of a completely different friend's child. It just happened to be at the same place, same time, different weekend. That friend was also quite confused because (of course) she didn't remember inviting us! She did, however, welcome us to just stay and have fun. So we did. I calmed down eventually.

[bibiche]

Wow, thanks everyone! I feel so much better about not being able to find the sunglasses that were on my head a little while ago! 😎 

[kbutton]

2 hours ago, Tiberia said:

For all of my childhood and much of my adult life, I thought that giraffes ate fish.

It was only when I was in my late 30's that I realized that their tongues look like fish. 

Wait, is this a ploy to get all of us with addled brains to google giraffe tongues? 😉 

1 hour ago, TheReader said:

To which I piped up with something very *not* clematis nor plant-like

My kids want to know why I am dying (laughing uncontrollably triggers my asthma cough, lol). 

54 minutes ago, Jenny in Florida said:

I often end up a year ahead of myself, for some reason.

The only way I reliably know how old I am is by remembering that I was 30 when I had our daughter. I usually know how old she is, so I just add 30 to calculate my own age. 

Lucky you. I have moved on to sometimes advancing the ages of the others in my home as well! 

14 minutes ago, bolt. said:

She did, however, welcome us to just stay and have fun. So we did. I calmed down eventually.

That is sweet. 

 

I remember doing a few weird things while pregnant. I swear I lost my mind the first trimester of my first pregnancy. I wore a shirt to work inside out, and I went to a neighbor's Pampered Chef party without my checkbook--IIRC, running back next door to get it, I am pretty sure I found out that I'd locked myself out of the house when I left for the party. I think all of these things happened the same week.