Jump to content


Feedback appreciated

Recommended Posts

My 5th grader and I have been working to improve his writing skills this year.  Can anyone else, especially with current or recent 5th graders, chime in on how his essay is?  For reference, he wrote it on his own a paragraph at a time, and then we spent several days editing it.  He did use one source (not cited in the essay), the D'Aulaire's Biography of Benjamin Franklin.to be frank, ben was here..pdf

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 months later...

I see that this has been sitting for quite some time - this board isn’t terribly active, unfortunately - but thought I’d respond anyway.

Overall, I think he’s done decently. I might touch on linking one paragraph to the next either by using transition words or by repeating / reflecting the main idea of each body paragraph in the first sentence of the next. He links back to the introduction decently (mischief / invention, hard work, intellect / invention take 2) but not from one paragraph to the next. 

Also, differences in tone for different styles of writing - he did well with this for the most part, but I’d have him avoid using words like “stuff” for academic writing. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Create New...